Nikolai was still leaning against the door frame while observing Harvey and Roman. The distance between where he was and where they stood felt like a strange and surreal point of view—observing time he and Paige could have shared while allowing the feeling of reconciliation to saturate him. He didn't have the exact details or history of Morgan's situation, but he was no stranger to speculating the feelings of others and hurting those you care about in the long run because of it. All Nikolai could do was laugh with both conviction and recognition. 

He inhaled a sharp breath between his teeth then blew out.

"Predicting the thoughts of others toward yourself is not okay. I once thought I was protecting someone I cared about because of how they felt about me. Not only did their behavior not match what I was thinking, but my obsession with forecasting issues that didn't exist. My worrying kept me from getting to them when they needed me. Me being focused on what wasn't even true, only made things worse."

Morgan takes in his words and pondered on them. Realizing he was right the massive dust storm of confusion evaporates within her. 

"If Owen hasn't expressed that feeling to you, you just think that you are that feeling to him,  eliminating that feeling will more than likely dispel your anxiousness." 

"I think I see what you mean. It does feel kind of silly, giving power to an unspoken lie when there's so much demonstrated truth." 

Nikolai smirked. Her statement was a beautiful watercolor illustration to his heart. No longer monochromatic yet still transparent. Her mouth refuses to explicitly say what she feels, but he can hear through her sniffles and sighs that she was struggling a great deal with herself. 

"Exactly." He said it to give her assurance but again he felt as though he needed to hear it for himself. 

Morgan gasps, then expressed a sheepish "Ohhh..."

"Something the matter?" He asked

"No- Well, yes- I just feel so foolish. Like I've drummed up all this anxiety for nothing."

He autonomously reaches for his stubble, a sudden provocation from her confession moves him to make a confession of his own. 

"You're not alone. It's not something you do on purpose, the snowball of dread is usually just starts out as a pebble of 'what if' then it spirals out of control." 

Morgan feels her heartbeat in her feet, and she laughs softly. Nikolai, sensing that he's lightened the mood somehow, gives a laugh in response. He couldn't explain it, but her laugh made him feel soothed. Even if she was laughing at him he didn't care, the sounds she exuded made him feel like he was actually being heard. At the same time, something moved through Morgan like never felt before. Something. . . gleeful. Something bright and affirming. Was this acceptance? She takes hold of the line of her consciousness and clears her throat.

"So, what, do you think I should do now?" She asked.

"Well, I'm not Owen, but you two seem like you have a solid friendship." He stated. "Your awareness that the history you've experienced together could weigh on him mentally and emotionally, shows that you care about the impact of your own life on his. It's commendable. But you haven't given Owen a chance to speak for himself, I think, maybe you should ask him."

At first she feels ashamed that she hadn't considered a thought like this before. Now that she had a simple and clear suggestion it gives her a idea. She pranced to her vanity and pulled an ink pen she opened her drawer and locates her journal that she used to use for therapy. 

"If I think something of someone else, there  should be demonstrated evidence to validate or invalidate those thoughts. That makes perfect sense." Morgan straightens her posture and a breath of trickling repose fills the space where her nagging nerves resided. "Thank you Nikolai, I needed that."

"You're welcome. Thank you for hearing me out."

"No really, I mean it. Especially since we aren't quite that close." She leaned forward onto the vanity with her elbows and placed her phone face-up on the surface in front of her.

"Not that close?" He retorted "I thought we were pretty close in the hallway."

Her eyes dart open to the whites, she rattled her head at his quick response. 

"I'm joking." He laughs  "Truth is, I learned over time that requesting trust and safety without consideration of ones comfort, is just manipulation." His statement pricks his heart. He felt like he had just been thwacked with the branch of an Angelica tree. "I know I said that for you, but... I think I needed to that for myself."

"Happy to help." Morgan replied tenderly.

The chime from the doorbell cracks the mutually pleasant atmosphere sending Morgan's heart into a sudden lurching pattern. She stood to her feet and immediately switched into hyper-vigilance mode. It wasn't hard for her to shut herself down from basking in happiness when she needed to anticipate being ready to defend herself. downstairs to see who it is."

Morgan took hold of the phone in her hand and crept carefully toward her bedroom door. Nikolai can hear the shuffling through the mic but stayed on the line. Morgan could feel her chest getting tight, and her body beginning to vibrate with a cautious resonating buzzing feeling, she kept the line connected as she descended the stairs carefully.

 The sudden silence drawing Nikolai's concern.

"Everything okay?"

His voice giving her some thin layer of of aloe on her burning heart, distracting her from being too afraid. Her tongue released the bound up pressure from the roof of her mouth as she spoke.

"Y-yeah, just someone at the door." She could feel her voice shaking involuntarily, "Is it okay if I keep you on the line while I check to see who this is?"

"Yeah, I don't mind." He was nervous, probably more so than she was, but he had to keep his cool so as not to startle her further.

Morgan made it to the bottom stairs and carefully peeked through the peephole. To her astonishment, it's not Rebecca, but it's someone else she's not thrilled to see. With the phone to her chest, Morgan clenched her eyes and slowly leaned her back against the door.

"What the hell-?" The words Morgan's lips as if she were whispering to the dead.

He deciphered what sounded like annoyance in her tone. Had something happened? was afraid for her but he remained on the call. He felt a tad bit nosey as well, but he had indirect permission to be.

"Morgan? Is everything okay? Who is it?" 

"It's . . . an old friend of mine." Morgan slowly cracks the door and keeps the phone in her hand.

He deciphered what sounded like annoyance in her tone. Had something happened? was afraid for her but he remained on the call. He felt a tad bit nosey as well, but at this point he had indirect permission to be.

"Oh, You're here."

The stranger at the door spoke calmly and had an inferred tone of surprise. The tall and model-like experience stood before her with her signature Champagne and Strawberry split-dyed hair. She had it all pulled to one side, and tossed over her left shoulder. Her black tank top exposed the butterfly tattoo on her right shoulder. Morgan swallowed the lump of fiery rage and spoke back.

 She cleared her throat and spoke up a little louder and more confident this time. "It's good to see you again, Morgan."

"Scherherazade." Morgan whispered again.

Nikolai, still confused, asked for clarity. "Huh? Who?"

Nikolai's voice snapped Morgan back to reality, keeping her from descending into disassociation. She brings the phone to her face wile maintaining her eye contact with the person before her.

"Nikolai, I'll call you back okay?" Morgan stated in a firm tone.

"Yeah, okay. Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I swear."

The chimera queen stood sheepishly on the porch, she waited cowardly for Morgan to say something, anything really. Morgan hung up her line and felt her skin coil at the sight of her runaway love. It didn't feel like a reunion of pleasantries, she felt her jaw clench, and her throat felt tight as her tongue retreated from the back of her teeth.

"I didn't know you moved back in with Rebecca," Scheherazade says meekly. Her eyes watered at the sight of her. Morgan unfortunately didn't feel the same sentiment. Those once captivating heterochromia kaleidoscopes took on an new shape. Morgan felt like she was looking into labyrinth of lies. She struggled respond but her throat felt like it had been sealed off with super glue, not even a breath would exit her mouth.

As Morgan scanned Zade's appearance, noted that Zade was back to her Neo-soul doll aesthetic with a more polished and mature refining. Zade was clearly still fighting to accept herself, still hiding her green eye behind the Champagne portion of her waist-length hair. Morgan adored Zades split eye colors. While they were together, Zade had expressed that she felt like it only highlighted the fact that she was bi-racial and it was difficult to find acceptance anywhere. Morgan and Owen went to extensive lengths to make her feel accepted and loved in all spaces, what a shame that Zade had to go and throw that away.

Her arms seemed to be leaner and more toned, and covered in her black and grey ornamental tattoos. Her black tank top exposed the butterfly on her right shoulder, a butterfly that Morgan had personally designed originally for herself, but ultimately relinquished to Zade. Morgan had hers covered fairly quickly after they broke up, in its place was an image of a sunflower bouquet and ladybugs.

Morgan could see her belly piercing slightly glinting through the tank tops thin material. The four-pointed star matched the punk-pixie metal belt around her waist. It drew attention to the outlines and brighter complexion of her stretchmarks. Morgan remembered when she kissed those marks and sang to them at night, the moisturizing routines and whispers of hope and affirmations. She rolled her eyes at the thought of feeling sentimental for even a moment, besides this, Morgan wasn't about to stand in her doorway all day. She had other things to do, so she needed to wrap things up. She managed to garner the strength to speak with a little more mercy, even though in her heart she felt like Zade didn't deserve any of it.

"Are you going to say something?" Scherherazade prompted.

Morgan sputtered then stammered, floundering to sort through the traffic jam of words in her head, while also being bombarded with internal screams of sadness, wrath, and fear. Scherherazade tried to laugh through her own insecurities, though it only made the air even more peculiar.

"H... how have you been?" Scherherazade reached out to touch Morgan's hand, but like a snapping turtle, Morgan retreated her hand up and away from this uninvited guest. She had half a mind to turn it into a slap but she knew she didn't have it in her to execute that particular impulsive thought. Scherherazade, now aware of her mistake, places her hands in her pockets.

"Who told you. . . to come here?" Morgan snarled. 

Zade twiddles her thumbs against the lip of her jeans and shrugs. "No one told me to, I just did."

"Where's Monty?"

Even after it all fell apart, Morgan didn't blame Lamondt for his mothers misdeeds. He was a toddler after all, it wasn't his fault that Morgan and Zade's relationship fell apart.

"He's at home." She looked to the floor and smiled, "He asks about you."

"He wouldn't and shouldn't have to." Morgan didn't intend for the remark to fly from her lips like truth bullets, her tongue was trigger happy.

Her head still hung, Zade mumbled a defeated "I know." She looked up at the ceiling and rubbed her chin, releasing an exaggerated and stressed exhale as she ran her hand down her neck until she could look Morgan in the eyes again.

"You uh, you mind if I come inside?" She asks

Repulsed by the inquiry, Morgan sucks her teeth and fires back "Actually, yes. I do mind."

Morgan crossed her arms and leaned against the frame, making it clear with her body as well as with her tone. "Last time I let you back into my life, you sold me a dream and then shattered it with your lies, a second time. Remember?"

She could've chosen better words to say, but that was the truth. It was her truth, and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't interested in being anybody's fool anymore. Still, she didn't want to hurt Zade with her words, or maybe she did? Maybe she wanted her to feel a fraction of the emotional lacerations that were inflicted on her when Zade left her to pick up the pieces. It was hard to say.

Zade's bottom lip retracted, she bobbed her head to inflect that that she knew where she stood, and what she had done to deserve the words being spoken. 

"I wasn't expecting you to be here. I'm happy that you're safe-"

"'Safe!?'" Morgan wanted to spit at her. Swinging the door open further, her body advanced forward onto the porch with a slow and ominous pace. As stepped over the threshold and pointed her finger in Zade's face.

"You have a lot of nerve to say that when you know what I, what we, have survived in this house." Morgan couldn't tell if it was fear of being betrayed again, anger from the pain she experienced, or aggression as a prevention method. She thought she was over this already. Maybe she had just ignored the pain because Scherherazade wasn't in her peripheral? With the murder weapon out of sight, was the investigation out of mind? Either way, she wasn't going to let anything compromise her again, not even a former lover.

"If I didn't love Peter more than I hate Rebecca, I wouldn't even be here, but I'd rather be here than be with you."

Though that wasn't completely true, Morgan felt like she was finally saying all the things she didn't get a chance to say. The truth was, Zade wasn't even an abusive person, or even inherently violent, but the years of deception and being used for money seemed far more detrimental to her than putting up with Rebecca's unhinged temper tantrums. At least as Morgan got older she was able to mask her emotions and navigate the landmine or irrational blowups of an emotionally and mentally unstable manipulator. At the expense of her own stability, Morgan learned to tolerate Rebecca but Morgan couldn't learn to love Zade again.

It made her feel inadequate at times, hypocritical even, but she felt that their relationship just couldn't survive. Rebecca was her mom, but Zade was her forever. To find out that Zade had been sleeping with someone else, and ended up getting pregnant and hiding it for so long, Morgan decided she had to put herself first, even if it meant going back to the one who hated her from the very beginning.

Zade hastened to sort through the noise in her mind, desperately figuring out what to say, but they hadn't spoken in so long. It was difficult to figure out what would be the right thing to say when she had done so many offensive and hurtful things to someone she once shared a bed with.

The vitriol was more than palpable, and thicker than bitter molasses. Zade knew she was deserving of being pushed away, but she wasn't used to seeing this type of volatility toward anyone other than Rebecca. Now that she was on the receiving end of it, the thought of being in the same category of disdain and resentment made her question their separation, which she assumed was amicable.

"I'm sorry, Morgan. You're right. You have every right to be uncomfortable with my presence." Zade fixed her posture and looked Morgan in the eyes expressing her resolve. "I'm willing to take whatever consequences you give me. I don't want to put a hindrance on your life."

"Me leaving you was the consequence, and you won't hinder me." Morgan hissed.

"Morgan, this isn't who you truly are." She whispered, hoping to find the tender soul behind this armor of forsaking.

"It's who you taught me to be towards you." Morgan felt her stomach turn, the words flowed so brilliantly but bit her on their way out as she followed-up with another sentence. "This is who I have to be toward you, so that I don't make the mistake of loving you again."

Her eyebrow lifted, Zade quickly cleared her throat, and accepted the sour truth. "I understand."

"Look, I don't have all day, what do you want Scherherazade?" Morgan demanded.

The gravity in Morgans voice pulls Scherherazade down from the dream of what could have been, and into the reality she created. 

"I just came to drop this off."  She finally retrieved from her pocket the folded envelope, and shakily hands it to Morgan. "It went to your old address and then got returned to my place. It's probably better that I ran into you instead of Rebecca anyway." 

Morgan accepts the delivery and rejected to inspect its contents in front of her.

Scherherazade began to retreat from the porch, but there was something nagging at her. As she turned away, she muttered just loud enough for Morgan to hear her with a nervous and sad whine "I thought the split was mutual."

"I was just trying to spare myself the embarrassment of acting out emotionally," Morgan chuckled at her newfound boldness. "Smile in public, cry in private, right? "

She thought she would be satisfied with telling the truth, but it only made her want to slam the door.

"Really? I guess you had me fooled." Scherherazade smiled then followed it with a disappointed frown." That's the first time you ever lied to me, and only now I realize it was to save yourself from my treatment of you."

She couldn't lie anymore, the idea of doing so made her queasy. "You're making me ill. I can't be around you."

"Look, I hope you find someone who amplifies your peace, and allows you to shine your light without feeding from it the way I did. You deserve someone who won't make the same mistakes I was dimwitted enough to make."

Morgan felt herself lurch forward a bit, then gave a muffled retch. Even if she was justified, she still felt like she was being dramatic, but in truth her body was revisiting all the feelings she experienced when she had finally had enough of her kindness being taken advantage of. Morgan retreated into the house and closed the door.

The sound of the locks against the door gave a grim reminder to Scherherazade of what she had done to ruin their relationship. Locked out.

Unwelcome. Undesired. Unworthy. Unforgiven.

Scherherazade brought it upon herself, but she had done what she set out to do. She repaid Morgan every penny of what she sowed into their relationship, just as she promised she would. It wasn't about the money, but the promise to repay her justifiably ex-friend. It was far from the victory she was expecting, but now, she could move forward, and she hoped Morgan would do the same.