I can still taste the salt in my mouth when I wake up the next morning. I go to the bathroom and attempt to wash it out with water, but it refuses to come out. I glare at myself in the mirror, and then I stalk out to the kitchen for breakfast. My mom is at it again, and I can only look at the bacon on the table in disgust. I heat a waffle up in the toaster and pop it into my mouth, fully aware of the fact that I am openly insulting my mom. I run back to my room and pick up my bag before walking over to school, my mind blank.

***

School is the same as usual. The students are idiotically oblivious of the world and only care about their selfies or social media, and unlock their phones for the sole purpose of looking good in front of their peers, and I sink into my eternal abyss of loneliness. The teachers speak of useless lessons of things that will never matter and give the students busywork that will amount to nothing but numbers in a useless report card. I let everything happen, pretending to go along with everything that happens, pretending that everything's all right when all I want to do is scream and cry about everything that I find unfair.

***

I excuse myself from class and go to the bathroom. There, I lock myself in a stall and cry for twenty minutes, my mind's only solace being Rin. My only solace in my entire life. Although my eyes are still red when I leave, I don't care about what others think about me anymore. They can hate me and shun me. They can do whatever I want. The only person I care about doesn't open her eyes anymore.

Suddenly, my mother and her kind words—No, I remind myself, it's fake—pops into my head. It's fake, fake, fake, all fake. But even as I remind myself that that mother must be a fake, my mind can't stop wanting to believe her words, her kind smile. And suddenly, I want to cry again. So I re-enter the room and lock myself in the same stall, and this time, I bawl with silent tears. And as the salty water flows down my cheeks, I resolve to confront my mother today, right after the hospital visit, before I start on anything.

But when the end of the visit started approaching, my resolve wavered. What if she's not the same anymore? What if she's back to that mother that does nothing but watch TV, that mother that always just nodded when I was hit far too many times? What if I go home to see that mother? What then?

No. I can't build my life off of too many what ifs. So I will go home, keep Rin by my side, and I will face what I have to.

***

I look at Rin's face for the final time today, keep her image in my head and her sweet voice from an eternity ago repeating through my mind, and when I smile at her and say, "Rinny, I'm going to leave now," with sadness. "I promise I'll come tomorrow. So wait for me, all right?"

Even though the anticipation I once felt is now filled with dread, I still trudge on. I can't tell whether Rin is warning me away or encouraging me to go forward, but I keep going. Keep dragging myself until I reach the end. I don't know whether the end is a good one or not, but I will go forward and face it anyway.

I reach the front door, but I don't want to insert the key in. Even though the door probably isn't locked, I still feel as if I can't open it. My fingers itch to grasp the metal and push the plastic open, but my mind forces it back. I can't open this door. Not yet. Not y—

Go on, I hear Rin say, and I freeze.

Did you say something, Rin? I want to ask, but I know that I will get no answer except maybe the blowing wind.

Go on, I hear again. You can do it.

Nothing I can ever tell myself will compare to what Rin tells me. All right, Rin, I tell her. I'll believe you this time. I open the door, breathe in, and hope for the best.