LUC

I want to see Jessie.

I tapped the characters on the tablet on Ola's table. She turned to me, letting me know she'd listened to the translation through the strapped device on her head. We were in the enclosure where Jargia was allowed to roam. Tali was sitting on a chair, letting the female, I've learned, was called Josie, push a flexible tube down her mouth. Ola had mentioned they needed to improve the translations and hopefully develop a version that didn't need us to write back and forth.

I churred, impatient for an answer. Ola rolled her eyes. "You can't right now. You know he's been busy."

The time difference between her lips moving, and the words popping up in Helli on the tablet, had peeved me when she'd started doing this instead of passing the tablet back and forth, but I'd grown used to it — even preferred it.

I gritted my teeth, holding in the urge to growl at her. Josie pulled the tube out of Tali's mouth, thanking her before looking over at Ola. She was wearing the same device as Ola over her head.

Her mouth moved, and within a few seconds, the tablet on the table repeated her words in Helli.

"Jessie promised, (incomprehensible word.)"

Ola frowned. "What do you mean, Jessie promised?"

"Jessie promised Luc they would eat (incomprehensible word) together. They're supposed to take a day trip to their nest today. I was there when Jessie told him," Josephine said, smiling as she looked at me. "He just wants to see his (incomprehensible word.)"

Ola folded her hand over her chest as the evenly clumped hair on her head fell to the side. "Who's going to man (incomprehensible word), then?"

"We have shamans from (incomprehensible word) that are (incomprehensible word) here. They'll do it. Luke's there to help too," Josephine said.

I churred, flapping my wings a bit as I gripped the table's edge. The females turned to look at me. The conversation was starting to frustrate me a bit. The translator had gotten better, but the words without proper Helli equivalents were still being worked out. Josephine mentioned simply filling in some of the blanks with phrases that should make sense to me and Tali.

"Fine, I'll (incomprehensible word) your (incomprehensible word.)" Ola muttered, walking over to the table and tapping something into the raised smooth blocks on a slab. Something showed up on the bright tab in front of it. "Done. Jessie's coming to the (comprehensible word.)"

I cooed, looking at Josephine in thanks. She smiled at me, turning her attention back to Tali.

I'd grown fond of her. I noticed that even though she was the most recent addition to Jessie's peers, he seemed to trust her more — smile and make that human sound of amusement when they talked. She made the stress that had befallen him over the past few weeks lighter on his shoulders, and for that I was appreciative.

My gaze shifted to Tali, who smiled, using her hands to rub the small feathers at the back of her neck. We spoke often — mostly about Jessie, Stacey, and Jargia. She didn't like this place much, but she had grown tolerant of the humans we constantly interacted with. Jargia was currently playing by herself in the corner, stacking small sticks. Jessie had explained it was a human game. Jargia didn't understand the concept, but they soothed her nest-building instinct to arrange them in intricate patterns. I turned to look at her. She was squatting and had her wings curving around herself for privacy.

She reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger. Quiet, frightful, and desperate to blend into the background. She spoke to me and Tali but kept her gaze low. She was fond of Luke and seemed calm around Jessie. I'd never asked what would happen to her when Jessie and I left. Tali had casually mentioned she would look out for the runt, but I wasn't sure she had meant it as a forever thing.

My eyes turned to the enclosure entrance when the mental slab pulled open. I stood up straight, churring in excitement, when I spotted Jessie on the other side. He wasn't dressed in the usual blue fabric the settlement members wore. His lean arms were exposed, and more fitting fabric hugged his legs. The big black shoe coverings that stretched to his knees were nowhere in sight. Instead, he had small black ones that stopped at his ankles and covered his flat feet. He was carrying his bag and had a small smile on his lips as he spoke to Josephine and Ola in his human language. Most of the conversation was intelligible to me, even with Ola and Josephine still wearing the translation implements. Jessie's smile had faded, and his brown eyes had that distant look he got when he was stressed.

They were most likely talking about human affairs... more of their politics that constantly upset my mate.

I made a chirping noise when I heard my name, pulling Jessie's attention to me.

He smiled again, showing off his small teeth. The hair on his head had grown a little longer over the past few weeks, touching his shoulders. He, however, managed to keep removing the hair that grew on his jaw. His skin was a little duller, partly from living underground for weeks at a time, and partly from the constant stress he was currently under. Every day the settlement population grew, and every day there were new batches of humans squeezed within that small space where Jessie attended to their wounds and ailments. He rarely smelled like himself or me anymore, and it upset me.

"Luc!" Jessie said, walking into the enclosure and making his way to me. I met him halfway, letting my hands wrap around him as his soft face touched my chest. He was warm and smelled like human medicine. He let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes as his hands gripped my back.

"Now happy?" he asked, raising his head so he could look up at me.

I nodded, leaning down until my lips grazed his forehead as I purred long and hard. I cupped his face, raising it so I could press a kiss to his lips. He sighed, parting his lips and allowing me to thrust my tongue into his mouth as I pushed crop milk down his throat.

"Don't do that here," I heard Ola's voice say. "There is a child right there!"

Josephine laughed. "That's how they feed their children, Ola. You know that."

I didn't stop until I had nothing left to give, and when I pulled away, he took my hand. He mentioned something to Ola and Josephine before leading us out of the enclosure and towards the metal boxes that pulled us closer to the surface. Once we'd walked through the tunnels and out of the cave's entrance, the bright sunlight and human voices greeted us. There was an overwhelming number of humans camped around the area, and a handful of them carrying weapons and wearing brown or black fabric.

Jessie had explained the basics of what was happening to me, and I had picked up the rest from Josephine and Ola's conversations between themselves. Humans from another settlement were joining them for safety, and they were being accommodated. Many of them had to stay just outside the settlement because of a lack of space. A lot of them stared at us — at me mostly — hugging their children close as we walked past them. Jessie rubbed a circle into my air, pulling my focus to him.

"Safe," he muttered, reassuring me before stopping at the usual spot where we'd either separate or leave together. "Nest. Eat together," he said, smiling as he shrugged his shoulders to draw attention to the bag he had strapped to himself. I chirped, grabbing his waist and lifting him off the floor.

I heard a gasp when I gathered Jessie into my arms. I clenched him close to me, pressing his face into my neck as the back of my feet bent backward as I pressed against the soil and jetted into the air. I purr reverberated through me as the feel of the air under my wing hoisted us up. It had been a while since I'd been outside — it had been even longer for Jessie.

The stale air in their underground network of tunnels could never compare to the fresh air in my lungs at the moment. I could also smell Jessie — underneath all the medicinal smells and human cleaning fragrances — the smell of his pheromones was more distant when there were tens of other humans around us at every given moment. I pressed him closer against me as I flew, wanting to coat myself in his scent and coat him in mine. My stomach stirred in want when he sighed into my shoulder, and his lean arms moved against my back as he adjusted himself in my hold.

We hadn't been intimate in a while, and I was anticipating that we might be today. His arms moved from my back to wrap themselves around my shoulder as his warm breaths fanned my neck. I fought the growl in my chest as excitement built up in my pubic area and warmth filled my slit.

Not yet.

When I reached the trees that held up the new next, I flew lower, edging down in increments until my feet touched the platform I had made in front of the vertical nest entrance. I placed Jessie on his feet, watching him take off the back before sitting down and looking through it.

I watched him take out packs of the soft food stone humans ate, and then I watched him pull out a smaller bag of fruit and dried meat. Then he took out the tablet we used to talk, and then a small device that made music — somehow. He pressed a raised edge of it, and a female human voice filled the air with a melody. I still wasn't sure what I thought about human music. None of the instruments were familiar, and the human words sounded even more nonsensical than they already did when speaking, but the few times Jessie had played music with me in private, he would sing along, filling the air with his voice. His voice sounded lower and smoother when he sang. It sometimes shook or cracked where it didn't in the song playing from the device, but I preferred his voice. It was soothing, and I enjoyed watching his soft lips move.

I purr filled my chest when he started to hum with his lips closed, following the melody of the music as he kept looking through his bag. He took out a stylus and the rubber sheets I had gotten him for drawing.

He placed a rubber sheet on his folded legs before looking up at me with a smile. He reached out a hand, and I took it, sitting next to him on the floor. He handed me a fruit and then picked up one for himself — biting into it as he grabbed a stylus and started etching into the rubber.

I watched him draw the surrounding aerial mangrove that sheltered the nest as I ate and cut into fruit for him as well. He would occasionally grab the human provisions or the dried meat, eating messily as he drew with his other hand. I let my hands run through his hair, massaging his scalp as etched onto the rubber sheet. His breathing was steady — and his pheromones indicated that he was calm.

My chest swelled with pride when I thought about how much he liked it here. He felt better anytime we took a trip to the nest, and I wished he could always be here. I knew he wanted to help his kind, and I knew the translator meant a lot to him, but I wished we could leave. I wished all that occupied Jessie's thoughts were being safe, happy and enamored with me as much as I was with him, but I knew I had to tramper down my expectations. Jessie was a pack animal, and I wasn't. I was even more self-secluded than was typical of my kind because of my condition. He was my everything, but I had to be okay with that, not being reciprocated with the same intensity.

"Thinking?" Jessie asked, his voice carrying over the low music as he turned his head in my hand. I pulled away, nodding my head as I looked at his face. There were pieces of food on his face, and the juices of the fruit he ate made a glossy shin on his lips. They looked even softer than normal.

He cocked his head at me. "About?"

"Jessie," I said, and he made that human sound of amusement, smiling at me and exposing his even teeth. The behavior was so alien, but I'd learned the barring of teeth by humans was not an aggressive behavior. It was friendly — playful, and I liked Jessie's teeth. They were functionally useless, but they were interesting to look at, and the pressure it made when it bit down on my neck or fist when coupling was delightful.

The sudden feeling of want building up in me made me growl. "I want... Jessie," I rambled, finding it hard to hold down the lust. Jessie blinked, and I watched his face slowly turn red. "Kiss Luc... Yes?" I struggled to pull from the limited vocabulary we shared, and I didn't want to waste time figuring out what to say on the tablet.

"Yes..." Jessie trailed, putting the stylus and rubber sheet aside before rising to his knees and leaning forward. He pressed his soft lips to mine, flooding my senses with the smell of food and him... his arousal. I purred when he straddled me, sinking into my lap as his small hands touched my face as he continued to kiss me, pressing past my lips with his soft tongue. Sighing softly as the length of me pushed past my slit and pressed against him. I pressed my hands against the fabric that covered his chest, wanting to maneuver it off him, but Jessie shook his head.

"Cold," he said against my lips, shaking his head.

I churred, frustrated, before hugging him and standing up. He gasped at the sudden movement, frantically blinking as I walked us to the nest. The temperature difference from the outside was immediate — warm air wrapping around us as I walked with Jessie toward the center of the nest, held up by the three trunks acting as pillars. Over the weeks, I'd occasionally made trips to bring some things from the cliff-side nest, and my former primary nest. It was littered with equal parts Helli and human trinkets.

"Jessie, cold?" I asked, stopping in front of the center pillar as my eyes searched his.

He shook his head, making his dark hair bounce. "No."

I purred, content with the answer, before crashing my lips back on his, pushing my tongue as deep as I could between his soft lips. He moaned, taking the length of my tongue and letting me cradle his head as I thrust my tongue in and out, basking in the wet softness of his mouth as I licked inside his mouth — sharing the sweetness of the fruits he'd eaten.

Jessie pressed a hand against my chest, pushing me away so he could take a deep breath. His face was even redder now and his pupils had dilated. "Down..." he said, tapping one of the hands I had him wrapped in mid-air. I obeyed, letting his feet touch the nest's floor. He stepped away from me, holding eye contact as he took the top fabric off his body, exposing his chest and abdominal muscles to me. He had more scars now than when we first met — many fading to light browns.

They made me feel a little sad — feel inadequate, but when I thought about how much we'd been through, I remembered that I had protected him — kept him safe despite the wounds. I pulled down the fabric that clung to his legs after kicking off his foot covering, exposing his sex, and making its pheromones blend in the air intoxicating.

His smell.

It was as overwhelming as it was addicting.

I wanted him. I wanted to be touched by his small hands and kissed by his soft lips and tongue. I liked the feeling of my feathers touching his bare, smooth skin. I liked the feel of the fur on his head and the depth and warmth of his body. I adored the taste of his essence, and what he looked like drinking mine.

I watched him lower his hand to his sex, touching the now erect length with his fingers, clasping a hand around it as he looked at me. Sexual frustration made my wings spread out, closing in against my back just as quickly as I watched Jessie touch himself.

"What do you want?"

I blinked slowly, feeling the ache in my lower half when he asked the question. He was smiling at me, teasing me. "Jessie..." I mouthed, closing the distance between us — watching his head raise and his dark hair fall back as he looked at me, still touching himself. He slowly lowered himself to his knees, holding on to my hips as he raised his face upwards to kiss the tip of my length.

"I want you," he said, as he parted his lips, taking me in tongue first as his eyes fluttered. I watched my erection disappear and reappear between his lips, the length of it that could fit into his mouth, glistening. I let my hands reach down to steady his head, watching his face as he moved his head, letting out little gasps and peeling his eyes open whenever I tugged at the handful of hair in my hand. He still had his hands between his legs, stroking himself as he used his mouth to please me. I held on to his face as I felt my ejaculation coming, purring in pleasure as he swallowed spurt after sport, caressing my thighs as he moaned around the length of me.

Even though I knew Jessie biologically couldn't do anything with my ejaculation, it still made me happy on an instinctual level, seeing him accept it in whatever form he could. I pulled out of his mouth, letting the tip of my finger brush over his lips and cheek. I looked into his eyes, purring loudly when he smiled. He said something in the human language — a sentence with a word I didn't understand, but I still shivered when I heard it. Jessie's tone was always so soft and shaky when he said it, and his pupils got even wider than they did when we mated.

"What... word... means?" I felt frustrated with myself. I wasn't sure how to ask what I wanted. Jessie stood up, closing the gap between us as he hugged me.

"I feel... so much..." Jessie mumbled against my chest. "It means I feel so much for you."

"Good...?" I asked as he chuckled into my chest.

"Good," Jessie said. "I feel so much... good."

I could tell the words we shared were failing him too, but I think I understood what he meant... what he was feeling. It might be the feeling of love in its strongest sense. Not just affection, but an overwhelming, all-consuming biological drive. It was something that drove you to protect and nurture. It drove you to mate. It drove you to protect your mate and strong offspring, even at your own expense. I felt that for Jessie, so deeply that my hollow bones ached. I knew we would have no offspring and weren't biologically compatible, so it was more than just my nature. I did what I did because I wanted to live and breathe Jessie and could not tolerate his unhappiness. I wondered if the feeling was just as intense for humans. I saw the look Jessie tended to get when I was hurt — like he could die. He had killed for me before, like I had killed for him. He had cared for me like I had cared for him. He smiled when I smiled and lusted after me like I did him.

My hurt was his hurt. My pleasure was his pleasure.

"Luc feels Anyahinu," I said, substituting the human word with mine. "For Jessie Luc feels everything."

Jessie stared at me before looking over at the nest entrance. I watched him walk toward it and then out onto the platform where we had shared food — the music from the device still playing softly in the distance. Jessie was soon back, holding on to the tablet he'd left outside. He walked over to me, turning the tablet towards me. I stared at the screen, wondering what he wanted me to do.

"An... ya... nu.. hi...?" he mumbled, scrambling the last two syllables. I cocked my head at the tablet, tapping the Helli character of the word. Jessie and I watched the word disappear and get replaced with a human equivalent of three words.

Jessie broke into a big smile, turning the tablet to himself before pressing the human language characters on the screen before turning the tablet to let me see a translated version.

Interestingly... the database has that translated as 'all-consuming spell.'

Love.

I guess it is an all-consuming spell.

My chest tightened as I looked up from the green characters to Jessie. He was still smiling at me... as well as giving me that look. The one that lingered under my skin made the feathers on my neck rise.

"I love you," he whispered, hugging the tablet to his chest as he kept smiling at me. "So much."

My eyes flickered a few times as I let the words seep into my skin. I reached out to him, walking forward and holding his face as I leaned down to kiss him. He moaned into my mouth, melting at my touch as he let me indulge in the warmth of his mouth. My kisses grew more demanding and more urgent as I pushed him to the ground, making him drop the tablet. He gasped in shock, but quickly reached out to touch my face as I positioned myself between his legs — my erection newly revitalized.

He made that human chuffing sound, letting me lick and touch his chest as I watched him shiver under me. There was something different about the coupling after the exchange of words. It felt more intimate — more engrossing.

Knowing that what he felt for me was as deep as what I felt for him, made me less nervous about Jessie not wanting me in the future because of some arbitrary lack of strength, or ability to protect and provide.

Being born how I was often made me wonder what my purpose was. Kao had not been the first person to tell me to end my life for the sake of my kind's genetic fitness. I have often felt guilt for being alive and surviving into adulthood — a guilt, that meeting Jessie had tampered with my usefulness to him, but now knowing that he was just as consumed with me as I was with him regardless of whatever markers of strength and arbitrary ability to protect and provide, made me feel lighter — made me worth feeling like I deserved life and continuity.

How couldn't I?

When a creature so perfect felt love for me?