*taps on the microphone*

AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THIS IS THE 852th RACE OF THE YEAR, HERE WE HAVE THE ACKERMANS BOTH GOING AGAINST EACH OTHER. THIS IS GOING TO BE AN INTENSE RACE I TELL YAH. ON THE RED CAR WE HAVE THE SMALL VICIOUS MAN BUT CAN TEAR YOU APART WITH HIS MONSTERAS GAZE AND HIS AMAZING USE WITH BLADES, LEVI THE MIDGET MONSTER. 

WHILE WE HAVE ON THE BLUE CAR THE GIRL WHO CAN SACRIFICE A HUNDRED MEN JUST TO SAVE HER LOVER/BROTHER THE TITAN BOY EREN, AND KILLS YOU IF YOU EVER DID SOMETHING TO HIM. AS POWERFUL AS LEVI. THE CRAZY OBSESSED WITH EREN JAEGER CHICK. MIKASA ACKERMAN.

NOW WE HAVE BOTH OF THE CONTESTANTS ARE GRTTING READY TO START THE RACE, WITH LEVI SCREAMING LOUDLY AT EREN TO PUSH HIM HARD OR HE'LL KILL HIM IF THEY LOSE, AND MIKASA GLARING DARKLY AT LEVI HEARING WHAT HE SAID. ALSO THE DOG FACED JEAN IS GROSSLY CLEANING HIS ASS, DO IT SOMEWHERE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

AND THE RACE WILL BEGIN IN; THREE, TWO, ONE. *Armin screaming* GOOOOO!! Thank you Armin, your scream always helps.

THE RACERS BEGAN TO MOVE WHILE THEIR HELPERS WERE PUSHING THEM, LOOKS LIKE MIKASA IS TAKING THE LEAD. LEVI IS SCREAMING FOR EREN TO GO FASTER, BUT JEAN IS HOPING AWAY TO THE LEAD. JUST LOOK AT THOSE WIGGLY HOPS. HE TRIES, MIKASA STILL PASSES HIM, HE'S MAD, LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO LOSE IT AS HE TRIES TO TAKE THE FIRST PLACE, BUT THAT'S TOO LATE BC MIKASA CROSSED THE FINISH LINE AS SHE REACHED RIENER.

OOOHHH THINGS ARE GETTING NASTY HERE, LEVI IS CHASING AFTER EREN AS HE TRIES TO HIT HIM, WHLE HE WAS RUNNING FOR HIS DEAR LIFE, AND MIKASA IS CHASING LEVI TO KILL IM IF HE KILLS THE TITAN BOY, AND JEAN IS STILL LICKING HIS ASS.

*walks off the microphone stand and goes to Jean*

*hits him with a fish* KNOCK IT OUT YOU NASTEY DOG SHITTED FACED

Ladies and gentlemen, this was the 852th race of the year. hope all of you will sleep a titanless night. Close your windows and doors bc there might gonna be a food thief trying to sneak into your kitchens for some potatoes. Lastl--

Eren; LOOK OUT

WAIT WHA-- *Gets pushed off to the ground as Eren runs away* ARE YOU CRAZY YOU SON OF A BI--

Levi; IM GONNA MURDER YOU

Me: WAIT LEVI IM NOT ERE-- *gets kicked in the face*

Kill me