For the next half moon, Aspenkit found herself spending most of her time in the medicine den close to Alderheart's side helping him to sort the herbs. Often Poppydust would be in the den too and Aspenkit would watch with interest as she tended to their clan mates.

"Aspenkit has been a big help recently hasn't she Poppydust?" mewed Alderheart one day as the little kit was deftly separating the herbs that still had use in them from those that were dead.

"Definitely." Replied Poppydust, gazing at the kit proudly. Aspenkit hadn't spoken to her as much as she did to Alderheart, but she didn't mind. She was just happy that the kit was talking at all. "Do you know Alderheart, the other day when Quailpaw came in here with a bellyache, I turned to get some watermint and Aspenkit had already gotten it out for me."

"Is that so?" Alderheart turned his gaze on the kit, his eyes glowing. "You know, you are a very talented kit. Maybe I could speak to Silverstar about you joining us when you are apprenticed. Would you like that?"

Aspenkit's pelt fluffed up with excitement. "Really?" she purred. "Yes, I'd like that."

Alderheart gave her a quick lick between the ears. "I will think about it. You still have a few moons before you will be old enough to be apprenticed."

However, after the half-moon gathering, Alderheart seemed less encouraging of Aspenkit's skills and often wouldn't ask her to help out so much. At first, Aspenkit couldn't work out why her friend would have changed so much and not want her there anymore. Eventually she decided to stay away for a while, but without Alderheart's gentle encouragement, she found herself speaking less and less.

Finally, a few days after she had stopped going to see the medicine cats, Poppydust came out to find her.

"Alderheart wants to speak to you." She murmured. "Why haven't you been coming to see us anymore? I've missed you in there."

Aspenkit didn't answer the medicine cat apprentice, instead walking slowly towards the medicine den. She was glad that Alderheart hadn't forgotten her, but she couldn't help but feel apprehensive about speaking to him.

As she pushed through the bracken curtain, she saw Alderheart bent over a small pile of plants, carefully picking the leaves off of each stem. He looked up as Aspenkit entered and his eyes immediately softened in welcome.

"Hello Aspenkit." He murmured moving away from the herbs and patting the ground beside him with his tail.

Without hesitating, she bounded forward to where he was sat. "I'm sorry I've not been back. Poppydust said she missed me..."

"We both have." Said Alderheart, lowering himself to the ground so that he was at eye level with Aspenkit. "Why did you stop coming to see us? Was something wrong?"

Aspenkit looked at the ground. "I thought you didn't want me here anymore, and that you didn't want me to be your apprentice anymore." She murmured.

Alderheart's eyes widened. "I'm sorry Aspenkit, that was not my intention. Poppydust and I love having you in the medicine den with us... but..." he hesitated. "I'm afraid Aspenkit that we can't take you on as a medicine cat apprentice."

Aspenkit felt her stomach twist. "Why not?" she squeaked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all." Alderheart assured her gently. "But... well..." he hesitated again. "At the half moon, Leafpool, the cat who found the moonpool and one of my mentors came to me. I told her about you, and that Poppydust and I wanted you to become our apprentice, but she told me... she said that you have a different destiny... a destiny that means you cannot be a medicine cat."

Aspenkit stared at him. "What does that mean?" she mewed. "I want to be a medicine cat so badly!"

"I know you do." Murmured Alderheart drawing the kit to sit between his forelegs. "And you would have made a fantastic medicine cat... but Starclan has something else in mind for you." His eyes shone as he gazed down at her. "I told you before that you are special, Aspenkit. Starclan has great plans for you. You are going to change the clans!"

"But I don't want to be special." Wailed Aspenkit. "I just want to stay here with you and Poppydust and be a medicine cat. I've already learnt so much. Was I not learning fast enough for Starclan to be happy with me?"

"Starclan are already happy with you." Murmured Alderheart.

"They can't be, or they would have seen that I was learning and trying hard!"

Alderheart lowered his head as Aspenkit flung herself at his shoulder fur mewling in misery. He curled himself around her as she pummelled his pelt with her soft paws. She couldn't bear it. Someone had finally been proud of her and she was finally making someone happy, but Starclan had had to take it away from her. The injustice of it made her want to screech with fury.

As her mewls turned to whimpers, Alderheart uncurled slightly to look down at her. "I know it doesn't seem fair." He mewed. "Starclan isn't always fair, but they always choose the right cats for the tasks they have in store."

"They've chosen wrong this time." Aspenkit muttered mutinously.

"I shouldn't have pushed you away, and I should have told you." Murmured Alderheart. "I'm sorry for that."

Suddenly, Aspenkit felt overcome with anger at her friend and wriggled away from him. "If you really thought I would make a good medicine cat, you wouldn't listen to Starclan. You'd listen to your own judgement."

Alderheart looked taken aback. "You don't..."

"I bet Jayfeather would have!" Aspenkit burst out.

Almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Alderheart's eyes suddenly clouded with pain. He rose slowly to his paws and returned to the pile of herbs he had been preparing.

Aspenkit moved forward to apologise but the medicine cat seemed to be completely oblivious to her presence now. For a long moment, she stood, waiting for him to turn back to her, but he seemed resolutely focused on his herbs now. She slowly backed out of the den and back out into the clearing.

She felt as though she were in a daze as she wandered across the clearing and laid down in the shade outside the nursery, putting her head on her paws. She'd only ever had one real friend in Alderheart, but now she was alone again.

"Hi..." murmured a quiet voice. Aspenkit glanced up at the white kit with dark points on his face and paws. It was Hazelbreeze's kit, Icekit. "Why are you on your own?"

Aspenkit didn't answer, simply lowering her eyes again. She didn't want to talk anymore. Not to Icekit, not to anyone.

Icekit tipped his head on one side. "Why don't you talk Aspenkit? Do you not know how?"

"Of course I know how!" snapped Aspenkit. Icekit jumped a little at the sharpness in her voice. "I just want to be alone right now."

Icekit hesitated for a moment then sat down beside her. "You're so lucky." He murmured. "You have that choice. You can be on your own if you want to but you're never alone, and you don't want to be."

"You don't know what I want!" growled Aspenkit. "No-one does. Not even Starclan."

Icekit looked slightly confused at her words, but carried on speaking. "You are part of a litter of five." He murmured. "You're never alone. My rest of my litter died when we were born. I never knew them. You can be on your own... but don't wish for loneliness... it sucks."

Aspenkit looked up at him. She had never noticed before, but Icekit was often on his own too. He tried to join in with the other kits' games but no-one rallied to him the way she and her siblings would rush to each other's sides.

She patted the ground beside her in a way Alderheart did when he wanted her to move closer to him. Icekit lowered himself to his belly beside her and imitated her position, resting his head upon his front paws.

"At least your mother sees you though." She murmured. "I'm just one of her kits... there's nothing about me that really sets me apart from the others. I only have one friend really, and that's Alderheart."

Icekit glanced at her for a moment then purred. "The other's say you act like an elder." He said with a hint of a laugh.

Aspenkit went to object, but then she thought about it and couldn't help but purr too. "It's probably true." She murmured. "You'll become an apprentice, while I'll go straight to live with Twigtail, Ambermoon and Honeyfur."

Icekit purred louder. "I'll check you for ticks." He announced, hopping over and beginning to push her fur around with his dark paws.

"Be sure you get them all, or I'll tell your mentor!" said Aspenkit, trying to imitate Ambermoon's voice.

"My mentor doesn't scare me!" Icekit boasted, puffing out his chest. "Nothing scares me."

"Then I'll tell Ravencall." Threatened Aspenkit.

"Oh no! Don't tell the deputy!" Icekit squeaked, pretending to quake at the mention of his father.

The two kits spent a long time playing in the Greenleaf sun, not even diverting from their games when the queens called the kits in for a nap. As Blackheart carried her up to Silverstar's den that evening, Aspenkit couldn't help but feel a warm feeling in her heart that she seemed to have a friend now in Icekit. 

Icekit CTA SumacTree

DISCLAIMER: Creekpaw is an OC owned by Hannah Rowe