I wake up in the medicine den that night. The vaguely familiar scent of suntouched old herbs greets me like an old friend I know only from hazy daydreams of what used to be.
This time, I don't freak out quite as much. Instead, I stretch all the way out and slam my foot accidentally into Infernotail's head. He hardly stirs in his sleep, which causes me to curl up the corners of my mouth in amusement.

"Ashleap!" hisses a voice outside the medicine den.

It takes me a moment to realize that that's me and respond appropriately. "W-wha? Who? It's so late..."

"It's just after dusk. The herbs are still warm." replies the voice. "No one will care if you go now, but we need to head out before the dusk patrol gets back in."

"Wait, who is this?"
A bright red face pokes its head around the side of the den. Pyrewing is standing there with his tail straight up, only slightly curved at the end to indicate excitement. He purrs deep in his throat as I get up from my den.

"Now?" I ask, looking longingly at my den. I only just went to sleep as Rushcall and somehow the weariness has carried over.

"Now."

With a groan that's half real and half exaggerated for the sake of the argument, I follow him out of camp.

"I wish we didn't have to sneak out like this." he tells me.

"We could probably tell the clan." I say. "It would be easier. Featherstar, at the least, would be kind to us." Surely a leader with so much charisma and power about them in a clan that accepted oddities like me would allow a relationship like this.

"The last cat you want to know is Featherstar. She's dangerous. She'll help you in times of need, sure... but if any of your problems put the clan in danger, she'd feed us to the black fox." He makes a slicing motion across his neck. "I would know. I'm deputy."

"Black fox?"

"It died moons ago. Come on, you know the story!"

I hold my tongue, though my curiosity has been piqued. The two of us come to a river, which is similar to the one back home in my time but by the looks of it, probably far further north.

"Fancy a dip?" he asks.

"It's probably freezing." I tell him. "Why would I want to-"

His tail slides forwards and I feel myself tip over the edge. "You cheeky badger!"
I pounce on him and slam him into the river, falling in myself, and we wrestle in the water playfully before falling back onto the shore. I rest my head on the rocks and purr. Something about this feels so right.

It reminds me of fantasies of Pyre- I mean Novapaw and I, when we were kits. Leader and deputy... how far away is this? Medicine cat and deputy? Dangerous as it is, we're both powerful and we're both happier than we are at home.

I gaze over at him as fireflies flicker above, illuminating his bulky body and sopping wet fur. His fur is so much darker once it's wet. In the shadows, it almost looks... black. His eyes carry the same aloofness that Novapaw's do, though there is a kindness to them Novapaw never had.

"It's like a dream." I say, looking at the fireflies. "Everything about this is so surreal."

"I wish we didn't have to wake up." I say. Do I mean it in more ways than one? I think on it for a few seconds. Even in the impossible perfection of this single second of the past, my paws itch to explore the future.

"Me too."

He even sounds like Novapaw.

If only it could be like this at home.

***

The next morning, I decide to go against Pyrewing's advice and talk to Featherstar. I approach her with attempted pride, trying to copy the charismatic air of the solemn but powerful medicine cat. "I have a moral dilemma for you, Featherstar. A theoretical what-if."

"Theoretical, you say? It's fine, you can tell me who's doing the arguing. We are friends, after all." Featherstar narrows her eyes. "Moral dilemmas in this clan need to be solved by the higher ups immediately before things get out of hand."

"The spirits whisper it to me. They seek vengeance for past sins." I say. "It's very aggravating."

"Tell them what's been done is done." she says, turning to walk away.
"Just hear me out." I almost hiss the words.

She turns back around and sits down, clearly done with me. "If you insist."

"One of the spirits, in a past life, murdered a young kit possessed by the tunnels." I start.

"What tunnels?"
"The ones under the clan!" Do they not have tunnels?!
"Ashleap, are you delirious again?"
"Different clan!" I snap.

"Ashleap!"
"Another spirit, in vengeance, killed her completely innocent mother. That cat was ordered killed. Though dead, she sought revenge from the grave, and the spirit who started the cycle of death still lives in fear. What should that cat do?"

"I've never heard that story before. Then again, I can only imagine how vast StarClan is. They've probably told you things none of us can dream of, haven't they?" She seems almost wistful about the ordeal.

"Ah- yes. I've seen many, many stories. Some of them are happier, but then again, those who died happy have no reason to ask for anything." I say, and though I'm making almost all of it up on the spot, the leader dips her head in solemn understanding. "Would you mind... telling me what you would suggest?"

"They're dead. As I said... what has been done. The dead can work it out amongst themselves."

I turn away. "I suppose that's true."

True and extremely unhelpful.

I suppose I'm dealing with this by myself.

Before I can return to my den, I see the lights on the edge of my vision and begin to panic. Not now! Not in camp! I dive into the bushes and a warrior jumps out at me, pressing down at my chest. I feel a shriek rise up in my throat but the light rips it from me as everything is taken away...

***

I wake up in my den to find that Thistlepaw has rolled over onto my chest. My eyes narrow as I shake myself from him, careful to drop him gently into my nest. It's early, and though they'll need me later, I have other plans. I walk quietly to the old rotting tree where the elders are hardly awake. Emeraldlight and Owlflight are already awake and both of them are enjoying the early sun in silence.

"We have a visitor." Even in old age, there's something calming and yet strong about Emeraldlight's voice. I can imagine how powerful she must have looked when she was a warrior.

"So we do. What brings you here? I was beginning to think the clan had forgotten we existed." Owlflight purrs, though there's a bitterness to her mew. The log is rotting far more than I remembered and both of them are slightly disheveled.

"I want to hear a story." I tell them. "Have either of you heard of the black fox?"