Featherstar looks down at the brown ball of fur besides me and her face turns into a sad frown. "That's not yours, is it?"

"No. We found him in the woods. He looks past the age to nurse, but..." I trail off, looking towards the empty nursery.

"We have no queens." Featherstar confirms.

"We can't leave him to starve. Leafbare is cruel, especially up here."

"Tsk." She turns away. "I suppose he can stay with you as long as he doesn't get into any trouble. Prey has been especially good and he's very strong." She lowers herself to lick the kit's head. "Good luck, my friend."

I mutter, "We... I... chose a name for him."

"What is it?" she asks.

"He's Brownkit." I tell her.

"Not terribly creative, Ashleap."

I'm taken aback by the comment. "Come on, Featherstar."

"Only teasing." She exits the den, letting the sun shine on her fur. It's a convenient shade of pale gray, colored just so it's hard to tell if she's aging or not. I admit even I don't know.

Somewhere out there, Pyrewing is barking out commands to the other warriors. I feel pride stir within me. He'll be pleased to hear that Featherstar had no objection to me caring for the kit. Even if we'll never have children of our own... we can be a family.

"Do you hear that, Brownkit?" I ask the kit, whose eyes open to a miraculously beautiful gold as he mews, comforted by my presence. "You're part of DragonClan now. Welcome home."

***

Thistlepaw races up to me and cuts under, swiping my leg. I fall down but get right back up and brace myself for his next attack. I slam down on his back with my forepaws, hoping to pin him, but he slides away. As his fur flies under me, I notice some old cuts on his back.

Oak leaves can be placed on cuts.

The thought throws me off balance just long enough for him to knock me over, pinning me in seconds.

"I'm down, I'm down." I hiss.

Thistlepaw gets up. "Sorry, Rushpaw. Are you okay?"

I struggle around him and lurch onto my paws. "Yeah."

"Goldenpaw, you two can spar next." Hazelwhisker mews. Goldenpaw pads towards me and we begin circling. I try to stay grounded in the moment despite how utterly bored I am, and with a loud hiss she jumps at me.

The first thing I notice is that she has a huge long scar down her side from a fight with some sort of woodland creature. Is she hurting?

That one could be infected. Do you think Tinyblossom has any wild garlic?

Seizing the moment, Goldenpaw slams her paw across my face. I fall back like a wounded bird, my body shaking with pain. Getting up proves to be exceptionally painful and wincing, I realize that there's a thorn buried into my back.

"That'll be enough for now." Scorchclaw says, his eyes wide with shock as to my sudden incompetence. "We should head back."

I turn to pick out the thorn, ignoring the others looking at me with desperate confusion.

"I'll meet you there." I tell them.

The clearing is empty when I finally leave. I return to camp, still disoriented, to find everyone else is already there. Of course I'm late... I must admit it doesn't bother me anymore. It's not like the other apprentices' friendships would make me feel any better during the day. I can struggle through it just fine by myself.

Jetpaw approaches me, tail waving. "Hey, Rushpaw! How was training today?"

"It was great!" I tell him, ignoring the stinging scars down my back. "I was just a little bit... off."

"Oh." he says. "So, uh... you're not with Novapaw, are you?"

"Not right now. I don't need to be with him every second of the day, do I?"

"N-no! I just never see you together anymore... and I was wondering if something was wrong."

"No." I flick my ears dismissively. "Nothing is wrong."
"Well... it is with me." Jetpaw whispers. "Tunnelkeeper training is a lot harder than I thought it'd be."

"What have you seen down there?" I ask, half scared, half curious.

"That's not important." he assures me. "Uh... see you later."

With that, he turns tail and scampers off. I frown after, but decide not to follow. After all, it's late and I should be getting to sleep. Brownkit needs me.

I lie down in my den and Sparrowpaw lies down besides me, a stupid smile plastered to his face.

"What?"

"Are you really going to sleep already?"

"Yes." I say, fluffing up the moss a little and turning around to lie down again, facing away from him.

He gets up and walks to the other side, lying down again with another amused purr. "What?!" I spit the words out.

"Rushpaw, really? It's like you have no energy for anything nowadays. At this rate, you'll fall asleep during our warrior ceremony!"
"S'fine."

"Not really."

I don't bother replying.

Sure enough, my brother finally gets up, turning for a second before walking out of the den. I close my eyes tightly and hope that I can fall asleep.

***

I wake up to find darkness all around me. It isn't morning, so something is clearly wrong. Am I in old DragonClan again? Even after only two visits, my heart pulses with anticipation to be home- I mean there- again.

Dear StarClan, how much of my mind is actually mine?

I can feel hot breath on my back. I look down to see blood pooling around my paws. My neck pulses with pain and my head spins, leaving my vision blurry. As things begin to clear, the breathing on my back grows faster to match the beating of my heart and I turn around to look up at whoever's behind me.

A dark figure looms above me. I can hardly make out the details. Something about the situation is familiar. I feel my neck burn and remember the pain from other wounds. Am I bleeding? Did he tear open my neck?

Did Titanfoot get help?

"Are you going to kill me?" I ask the important question, though my voice comes out weak as a kit's.

"Never." The voice is familiar, yet equally deep and unknown at the same time. It sounds like something out of a nightmare. "I want you to come with me."

"Who are you?" I ask.

It does not speak. Golden eyes glimmer in the moonlight. Sharp ears are swivelled towards me. A puffed out tail swings in the shadow. Bright white teeth shine menacingly, beared into either a smile or the last snarl I'll ever see.

"Are you... are you..." I stutter, trying to edge backwards only to be caught as the terrifying figure creeps closer. I fall again, dirt flying upwards and the ugly red of my blood shining in the dirt.

It brings its face close to mine and with a deep breath, whispers into my ear. "I have seen things. Terrible, terrible things. I've made so many mistakes, Lunarshine..."

My pulse quickens. The black fox knows my name.

"What do you want from me?!" I hiss. Lunarshine bubbles to the surface, but mixed with her anger is perverted passion. This dream has become a nightmare.

"I demand your love." cooes the fox.

My heart drops dead. I scramble to my paws again, unsheathing claws sharp as his. His messy fur blows in the wind, and I look right into his eyes past his too-short, catlike muzzle and spit. "You're a monster. How can you say that with the blood of so many on your paws?"

"Not yet, my friend. You and I aren't that different. I've seen you on the walls of the tunnels."

"I will never love you. My heart belongs to Novapaw." I tell him, but I'm really thinking of Pyrewing, a cat who died endless seasons before I was even born.

The fox snarls, baring his teeth. I brace myself for him to finish the blow, but he merely says, "I knew you wouldn't understand. Don't tell them where I've gone unless you want to be next." With that, he turns tail and retreats into the forest.

I try to run after him, but fall again, grass blades covered in my own blood greeting me as I continue to bleed freely into the grass. "P-please... anyone..."

Once again, the world fades around me and I fall back into the abyss.

***

I wake up to the familiar smell of herbs, but this time, I'm in modern DragonClan. I feel a quick burst of disappointment in spite of myself as Tinyblossom tends to me, her eyes full of pain and concern.

"Wha..." I ask, hardly able to form words from my sore throat.

"We found you in the forest. You were covered in blood, but we couldn't find any other scents there."

I look down to find that my own claws are bloodied.

"I know this may come as an odd question. I'm not claiming you tried it, but for now, this seems like the most likely conclusion. It's okay to tell me if you did and I'm only here to help you." She sighs deeply. "Rushpaw, did you try to kill yourself?"

I shake my head feverishly, my every breath short with panic. "The fox! The black fox was trying to kill me!"

"Rushpaw, it's alright to tell the truth."
"I'm not lying, Tinyblossom! I know what I saw!"

Tinyblossom nudges me several herbs, including some seeds wrapped within oddly shaped leaves. I eat them and feel my breathing slow, my panic ebbing away.

"The black fox is long dead." Tinyblossom says. "This is a dangerous nightmare you had."

I open my mouth, but the sunlight from the outside disappears and my eyes narrow to slits as Knottedstar enters the den. "A black fox, you say? What color eyes did this fox have?" Her calm tone makes me want to run my claws through her. It's so hard to resist the urge. How dare she ask me something so stupid when a murderous beast is loose in the woods?!

"Bright, piercing yellow eyes." I reply with a hiss. I can't forget a single detail of the encounter, even though I know Ashleap and I would rather forget the temptation of his darkness.

We belong with a monster.

No, we don't!

He doesn't even love you, you fool.

Shut up, both of you!

My claws sink into the moss.

Knottedstar replies, "I know another dark cat with golden eyes like those- another cat who just so happened to go missing this morning."

"Who?!" I ask, leaping to my paws. Was this all a trick?

No! He knew about Lunarshine! Whoever it was, if they know, I need to-

-kill them!
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Knottedstar's tail flicks. "Rushpaw, I know this may be hard to hear, and I'll definitely need to hear the details later... but you appear to be our only witness." She looks out at the forest, and then back at me. Her eyes are cold as she mutters, "Jetpaw has gone missing."