There are so many small details about old DragonClan that I begin to notice as time crawls on. It's always slightly warmer here, despite being further to the north. The colors are seemingly warmer as well, as if someone tinted the entire world with sunlight. Perhaps it's a side effect of them being little more than memories, a way of cutting our worlds apart. A way of making this alternative look better. Another thing I've begun to notice is that if you know something that no one else does, something that could destroy life as they know it, even your loved ones will shrug it off. After all, the only thing more terrifying than you being crazy as a fox is even considering you might be right.

It's been almost a moon since I was here, and a moon seems to have passed without me. I woke up in the morning to the scent of herbs and knew I was hom- I mean here.

Here again.

As I stand up, Pyrewing's tail brushes mine. He's already in the den, rubbing gently against me. "It's the big day."

I purr as if I know what he's talking about. "Are you excited?"

"Of course. He's already out there."

He means Brownkit. If Brownkit is out there... and it's been a moon...

"Do you think he's ready to become an apprentice?" I ask, anxiety in my mew.

Pyrewing licks me gently. "He'll be fine."

I sigh. "Of course he will. I'm sorry." He helps me up as Infernotail glares at us both from the back of the den, and we walk together to cluster around the Hightree. Sure enough, Brownkit paces below it, fur fluffed out like some great caterpillar.

Questions buzz in my mind like bees as the other warriors close in around us and I lose sight of Brownkit in the crowd. Their very presence makes me anxious. There are so many cats I've either forgotten or never learned much about to begin with.

"Hello, Ashleap! How are you this morning?" asks a bright golden she-cat. She looks like Goldenfire, but has the energy of Maplepaw or Cherrypaw. What was your name again?

Another dark furred tom leers at me before padding to find a new place below the Highfall- no, it's the Hightree here! Who is that? Why can't I remember ever fighting him? Why does he look so angry?

For StarClan's sake, what was that one herb for headaches?

Focus, Ashleap, focus! Your son is becoming an apprentice today!

Rushcall might never have kits, not even with Novablaze, but here in this world, I get to be a mother, even if I'm just an adopted one. As Brownkit steps forward to stand below Featherstar, who's sizing him from her perch on the Hightree, I feel a rush of anxiety flood me.

"Brownkit, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Brownpaw. I will mentor you myself. Hopefully I will learn as much as you will learn from me in our moons together."

"Brownpaw! Brownpaw! Brownpaw!"

I exhale deeply. Thank StarClan he got a good mentor. Better yet, a great mentor! He must feel anxious as I did.

I take it back as I watch him race up, practically scrambling up the tree before Featherstar jumps down anyways. He races up to her to touch noses and headbutts her. She turns to the clan with a purr. "Quite the enthusiastic one."

The clan echoes their amusement before slowly dispersing, returning to their early morning activities. The dawn patrol is already out and the rest of the clan is taking a quick bite and sharing tongues.

Pyrewing disappears into the crowd, only to return with Brownpaw, who practically bounces off the walls with delight. "Did you hear that?!"

"Oh, I did." Pyrewing purrs. "We all heard, didn't we, Ashleap?"

I crouch to his level, which is no longer hard as it used to be. It's a bittersweet reminder Brownpaw is growing up.

"You don't have to do that," he says with an air of subtle resentment.

"Do what?" I ask.

"Lean down. I'm nearly as tall as you are."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. Ashleap's still taller than me, even though I'm older."

"Oh, don't worry. Pyrewing might be small, but he makes up for it in spirit."

"Plenty of that to go around." Pyrewing purrs. "Then again, besides height, there's also muscle. I've met cats smaller than I am with twice the muscle. No one wants to mess with them!"

"Really?" asks Brownpaw. "Like who?"

"That one ForestClan warrior..." Pyrewing stops to puzzle over this. "Shorttail, was it? He gave me one of the longest scars down my flank! That one may never heal."

"Shorttail? Now I know you're making things up." I say. "There's no one who would name their kit Shortkit."

"I've definitely heard odder prefixes."

"If you say so. That's not important anyways. This is Brownpaw's big day." I purr. "So. What do you have planned?"

"Featherstar hasn't told me anything." Brownpaw admits. "Do you think she's waiting for me now?"

"She might be. Wait, before you go-" I stare at Brownpaw intently, my tail straight and stiff. "Make sure that Featherstar gives you time to breathe. Make friends. Don't let your warrior training prevent you from being part of the clan."

"Okay!" he says, prancing off to meet Featherstar.

"I can't believe we've gotten away with all of this." says Pyrewing, incredulous. "A medicine cat and the deputy, raising a kit together."

"Neither can I. I think Featherstar let us slide because we've been doing our duties."

"There's definitely some personal bias in there too. She trusts your decisions more than anyone's."

"You think so?"

"Of course! You've been there for most of her leadership. You're her rock. Dependable. Honest." Coyly, he adds, "Beautiful."
"Are you sure we're still talking about rocks?" I tease.

"Precious minerals, perhaps."

I give Pyrewing a greatly elongated eye roll. "You should get going." I tell him. "You're deputy. You need to be making patrols, or you might find that Featherstar isn't half as lenient as we previously thought."

With a smirk, he passes by me towards the remaining cats in camp, running his tail carefully under my nose. His scent hits the top of my mouth, painfully real.

I turn towards the forest where Brownpaw left. My heart still beats a little faster knowing he's out there, even under Featherstar's guidance. Should I follow him? Perhaps I could tell Infernotail about some herbs near the training hollow. Do they use the training hollow here?

Before I can ask myself any more questions, bright white light begins to speckle in my eyes. I fall to the ground, my head burning, and pain sears through my ears as noise floods them. With a yowl of pain, the world turns to pure light and then to nothingness.

***

"All cats to the Highfall for a clan meeting!"

My eyes shoot open and my paws flail in every direction, hitting the sides of my nest and another late sleeper next to me. My breath is quick and uneasy and my ears are still burning.

My ears fall to my sides as I realize I'm awake. I had so many plans for the day, too... I shake my head. It doesn't matter. I can't get that attached again. I apologize to Duststorm, who grumbles softly in his nest.

"I didn't mean to wake you up." I say quietly. "I'm very sorry."

"That's what they all say. I'll be moving my nest tonight." Duststorm replies.

"Sorry." I hang my head.

"Just go on. They need you at Highfall."

Not wanting to question him further, despite his lack of interest in the clan gathering, I rush away towards the Highfall, where the rest of the clan is already sharing tongues in relative silence as Novaflare calls out the patrols for the day.

"You just missed the patrols." Goldenfire informs me as Sparrowsong licks her back. She nudges Sparrowsong. "Alright, my turn."

Sparrowsong purrs. "Good morning. Sleeping in?"

"I suppose so." I tell them, uneasy. "Did they say what patrol I'm in?"

"No, actually." Sparrowsong mews. "I looked out for you too. Do you think something's up?"

"It always is." I reply.

Over us, Knottedstar stands next to Novaflare. "Rushcall, I would like to speak to you. Please meet me near the south edge of camp."

"That explains it." I say, still staring skyward.

"What did you do now?" asks Thistleheart, exasperated.

"Nothing, I swear!" I back up a few steps. My heart pumps in my chest. "Really!"

"Alright, alright." Goldenfire jumps over Sparrowsong and stands between Thistleheart and I. "I'm sure it's nothing too important. If it is..." her eyes narrow to slits as she turns to me. "You tell us."

"Of course." I say before walking off.

The bees have returned to my brain in full force, but I stagger towards the southern edge of camp anyways. In typical Knottedstar fashion, the leader is there long before I am. She turns around and mutters, "I remember when I first saw you train, Rushcall You were so young... yet somehow, you held so much promise, even then. You were nothing like I was as an apprentice."

"Really?" I ask. It's hard imagining Knottedstar as a younger cat. Many of her characteristics (her biting wit, sharp claws, and powerful voice) clearly come from continuous sharpening over the ages. Without that, who could she have been before? I can't imagine her as a gossip like Hazelwhisker or Rubyshine, nor have I seen her with any sort of group resembling what my kin have.

"Really." As if she was reading my mind, she continues, "I didn't have many friends as an apprentice. I was born in a time of many kits, much like you were, but many of them were very weak. Few made it to adulthood. As an often sickly or quiet kit, I learned that there were better ways of fighting than with my claws. The leader at the time, Crabstar, did not appreciate my sense of humor..." The edges of her mouth twist upwards fondly. "... but he respected it. We had a strange relationship, him and I."

"Really? You talked back to the leader as a kit?" I say, shocked.

"Didn't you?" she responds.

My ears flatten with embarassment. "No, Lunarshine talked back to the leader. If she wasn't so impulsive, I never would have done anything like it."

"Lunarshine is part of you." Knottedstar says firmly. "This doesn't mean you share her crimes, but it does mean you're prone to some of her characteristics. Her determination. Her ambition. Her passion."

"Those don't all sound that bad." I mew, perplexed.

"No trait is truly good or evil. Even things mundane as kindness can be twisted and perverted, and even a blazing ambition like hers can be used properly." Her eyes narrow. "I never told you why I wanted to mentor you, did I?"

I shake my head. "You never mentioned it. Is it something I should know?" When I don't get her answer, I ask, "Wait, why did you ask me here exactly? I think we got a little carried away."

"This was why." she answers simply. "I only wanted to speak with you. As for why I made you my apprentice... Lunarshine and Ashleap, originally. I looked up to them both. I revered them. I imagined that they (or some of the other StarClan cats I had heard of) would come and give me some great prophecy. I gave up eventually and learned to work on my own, but some part of me always hoped that I would speak with the greats someday. As soon as I knew that you were them, I thought that this was my chance. I would finally meet my idols. Repay them for the hope they gave me, perhaps. Yet... I didn't end up learning to love either of them. Like the leader who once raised me, I was floored by the pure might of a single kit, although she was a child of actions and words instead of only the latter. That kit wasn't Ashleap nor Lunarshine. That kit was you, Rushcall."

I grow warm from the compliment. "Thank you."

She nods respectfully. "These old bones are going to give out if I don't get my rest." she says almost bitterly. "Head on a border patrol without me. They haven't quite left yet."

"Are you sure? Do you want to come, too?"

"No. I have some things to think over. Decisions to make."

I turn to go, hastily padding after a small cluster of cats that includes my brother, Sparrowsong.

"I'm sorry." Knottedstar mutters, as if she had held in the words for a long time. "I never should have sent you apprentices into the tunnels. I had no idea they'd grown so dangerous."

"Weren't they always like that?" I ask.

"No." Knottedstar says. "Now that we have no tunnelkeeper, they're only going to get worse."