Chapter 39
Zari

"Are you sure that your parents are okay with you being here instead at your house?"

He laughed because I already asked him this numerous times. Pagkabalik nya kasi rito sa Pilipinas ay kaagad syang dumiresto rito sa condo ko. Hindi man lang sya pumunta sa bahay nila ng parents nya.

He's cooking for our dinner. He's wearing my apron and it makes him cuter than ever. Si Milo naman ay ginugulo sya habang nagluluto. Matagal na kasi silang nagkita kaya na-miss sya ni Milo. Malaki na rin si Milo kaya nagulat sya kanina nang makita ito.

He looks at me while holding a turning spatula. "I already texted them. They are excited instead because you and I are okay now."

"Are we?" I raised a brow, teasing him.

He smirks at me. "You cried earlier while hugging me," namula ang pisngi ko dahil sa sinabi at mas namula ito nang kumindat sya sa akin para asarin ako. "You missed me so much, do you?"

"Shut up!" nahihiyang sabi ko sa kanya na kaagad nya lang namang tinawanan.

What he said is true. I cried for almost an hour while hugging him. I just missed him so much. During those times when he's in Florida...I keep on stopping myself from going there also just to see him.

I just missed him so bad.

But...my fear of taking risks is still here. I keep on picturing myself crying again like how I did before. I keep on picturing myself going through that phase again...and it made me so scared.

But...I can't afford to push him away also.

"How have you been while I'm still in Florida?" he asked while we were eating dinner.

Uminom muna ako ng tubig bago sumagot. "I've been busier so I wasn't that kinda sad like what you thought I would be," inaasar nya kasi ako na palagi akong umiiyak kada gabi kasi miss ko na sya.

Mahina syang natawa dahil sa sinabi ko. "Good for you," he smiled softly at me before reaching my hand on the top of the table so he could hold it. "Do you want to be with me again?"

Natahimik ako sa tanong nya. I love him...but I'm scared. Hindi ko magawa na sagutin sya. My love for him is too deep but love isn't the only thing that is important when it comes to relationships. Trust is also needed as sincere forgiveness.

He may have a reason for hurting me before...but my heart still keeps on disregarding it. Because what they did still gave me wounds and scars. I keep on telling myself that my reasons are nonsense but at the end of the day, I always understand that I had the right to act like this.

Because I was wounded by them.

"Akala ko okay na kayo! Pumunta si Gin kaagad sayo, diba? Bakit parang wala namang nangyari sa inyo? Akala ko magiging kayo na ulit!"

Napairap ako sa mga sinasabi ni Suji ngayon sa opisina ko. It's been weeks already since Gin went to their home. I just told him the truth...that I still love him, but I still need time to heal. Naintindihan nya naman iyon kaya sinabi nya kaagad na hihintayin nya lang ako hanggang maging okay na ako.

"I want to take things slow," sabi ko kay Suji.

She looks at me like I was spitting nonsense. "For what?"

"Basta," sabi ko, malapit nang mainis sa kanya.

Umupo sya sa upuan na nasa tapat ng desk ko. Tinignan nya ako nang mariin kaya napailing ako. "Just tell me the reason so I could help you."

"I can handle this myself," sabi ko nang hindi sya tinitignan.

Tumayo sya para makaupo sa desk ko. She's already in front of me. She's staring at me intensely. "Why are you being like this? I told you not to be like that. Ayokong kimkimin mo lahat."

Napasapo ako sa noo ko. "Don't worry, I'm already close to being healed."

I've been trying to heal already since Gin left. Hindi ko na rin masyadong iniisip kung ano ang nangyari noon. Nakatulong din iyong balita ni Reign sa akin na engaged na sila Syrine at Silver.

It's good to know that they are already happy with each other. Gusto ko na rin na magaya kami sa kanila. Iyong masaya na rin sa isa't isa. Hindi iniisip kung ano ang nangyari noon.

"May bisita ka," biglaang sabi ni Suji nang may kumatok sa pintuan ko.

"Edi, umalis ka na," sabi ko naman sa kanya kaya napanguso sya.

She immediately stood up so she could leave the office. Nang bumukas ang pintuan, pareho kaming dalawa ni Suji na nagulat. My lips parted when I saw my visitor. Si Suji naman ay napatikhim kaagad at nilingon ako, gustong malaman kung ayos lang ba sa akin na maiwan kami rito o sasamahan nya ako.

I scoffed to calm myself. "Umalis ka na," sabi ko sa kanya na kaagad nya namang sinunod.

I just stood up to greet my visitor properly. She's wearing a color violet dress and white heels. Kaagad kaming umupo sa sofa pareho. My heart is beating faster because of nervousness.

I knew that the day would come that I would be talking to her again like I used to, but I didn't expect this to happen sooner.

"May I know why you came here..." huminga ako nang malalim. "...Syrine?"

Looking at her...I feel envy. She looks so happier than the last time I saw her at the reunion. She even bloomed more. She's looking at me like how she used to look at me before.

"I'm..." she sighed. "...I'm here for two things," she smiles.

I was taken aback because of what she said. "Two things?"

"Yes," kaagad na sagot nya. "I'm here to make you the engineer for our house," nakangiting sabi nya kaya natigilan ako. "And I want to..." she bit her lips. "...I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" natigilan ako.

"Yes," huminga sya nang malalim. Inabot nya ang kamay ko kaya mas lalo akong nagulat. "I know how much I caused a lot of pain to you and Gin. I want to sincerely apologize for the dumb decision that I made before."

Kaagad ko ring hinawakan ang kamay nya. "No, don't say that. Sinabi na sa akin ni Gin na ginawa mo iyon para kay Rean. If I was in your shoe, I would also do that just to save my child."

Napaawang ang labi ni Syrine dahil sa sinabi ko. May namumuo na ring mga luha sa mga mata nya kaya naiiyak na rin ako. Napakagat sya sa labi nya at tumulo na ang mga luha nya kaya naiyak na rin ako.

"I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did," naiiyak na sabi nya habang hawak ang kamay ko. "I'm so sorry for the pain that I caused. I'm really sorry."

Napakagat ako sa labi ko habang umiiyak. "I'm now okay with it," I smile while crying.

Syrine suddenly sobbed in front of me. Hinila ko sya para yakapin habang umiiyak kami. She's now crying...like a child. Na para bang kinimkim nya lahat ng sakit na ito at ngayon lang nailabas.

"Let's be friends again, please..." umiiyak na sabi nya. "I missed you."

Napangiti ako habang umiiyak. "I missed you too," sabi ko na mas lalong nagpaiyak sa aming dalawa.

She's not my cousin. She's also one of my close friends. Palagi syang nandyan para sa akin kapag may problema ako noon. Nasira lamang ang aming pagkaibigan nang nagpakasal sila ni Gin.

I regret not hearing her side and just leaving before. I regret not being with her before. I regret leaving her alone...feeling the pain alone. If only I wasn't blinded by my love for Gin before...I would have stayed at her side.

"Thank you for agreeing immediately for being the engineer of our house," sabi nya sa akin pagkatapos naming mag-iyakan. "Silver wanted to take Gin as our engineer but I immediately told him that I want you."

I chuckles. "Salamat sa pagpili sa akin."

Napangiti sya sa sinabi ko. We just talked about her plan for her house and the architect that she chose. Afterward, we immediately talked about Gin.

"You should try to overcome your fear," nakangiting sabi nya sa akin. "If you only knew how much that man loved you."

Napakagat ako sa labi ko. "I'm trying."

"You kept on trying. How about doing it?" biglaang sabi nya kaya natigilan ako. She stood up and wink at me. "I'll be having a date with Silver later so I'll get going already," hinawakan nya ang kamay ko bago ngumiti. "Thank you for forgiving me and agreeing to my proposal."

Tumayo na rin ako bago sya niyakap. "Let's see each other again next time,"

"Try to visit my restaurant," sabi nya sa akin.

"I will," sabi ko naman.

After she left, kinuha ko na ang mga gamit ko. I realized that Syrine was right. I kept on trying...but not on doing it. Kailan ako magiging maayos kung palagi akong nagrarason sa sarili ko?

I immediately drove to Gin's house. I was greeted by their maids and guards. Buti nalang at wala ang parents nya kaya diretso akong tumungo sa kwarto nya para kumatok doon. When he opened the door, I immediately hugged him.

Naramdaman kong nagulat sya sa ginawa ko pero kaagad din naman akong niyakap pabalik. He's asking me what happened but I remained silent while hugging him. Ako ang unang bumitaw sa yakap.

He immediately cupped my face. "What happened? Hmmm?" malambing na aniya.

At this moment, I pictured myself in a box with a little getaway door. I was sitting alone there for a while...and now trying to go outside of it. It was hard and scary...but I did my best...and when I finally succeeded...it was all bright now.

I smile at him. "I'm now ready."

"Ready?" napakunot ang noo nya.

I tiptoed to kiss him which stunned him for a minute. "Ready to take risks again," I said before tiptoeing to kiss him again.