Edmund

December 31, 2025

"My. My. That was quite a night, Milord." Magna's swollen lips, a soft, bruised rose color, curved in a lazy, almost cat-like smile as she stretched next to me luxuriantly, akin to a giant black she-panther, all languid grace and coiled energy. 

The sunlight, faint and grey from the overcast morning, filtered through the skylight, bathing her in a soft, ethereal glow.

The little sucker for praise inside me, a small, vain part of me I'd discovered in this new era, danced a jig at her words. Good to know that my love-making skills also transcend time and space.

No matter how wrong what we did was.

We are not betrothed, let alone wed, and we still gave into our passions, abandoning all pretense of propriety. A forbidden joy, a momentary madness that had consumed us both.

And she is to leave now. To leave to some other future, a future without me. Where what transpired between us yesterday will soon mean nothing to her, a fleeting memory lost to the relentless march of time.

A flush, hot and familiar, creeps up my neck and across my cheeks as I recall everything that transpired between us. I sit on the edge of the bed, now fully dressed. A plate of blueberry pancakes, which I was preparing for her as she was sound asleep, is ready on the nightstand, their sweet, inviting aroma filling the space.

Magna's nostrils widen appreciatively at the beckoning smell, and she straightens up to sit beside me, now seemingly full awake. Her long, nude arms wrap across her knees, and I close my eyes, recalling the astonishing flexibility and sinuous elasticity of her body from the night past.

I cannot help but drink in every little detail on her body, wanting to etch it in my memory for all times. For when she is not here anymore. The smooth curve of her shoulder, the pale, delicate skin of her inner arm, the rise and fall of her chest with each breath.

Her nose nuzzles mine at first, a soft, intimate gesture, and then she buried her face in my neck, almost as if hiding from the outer world, hiding from the decision I know she will make, from the moment of separation I know will come all too soon to step between us. Her hair, still smelling faintly of the club and something uniquely her own, ticklesmy chin.

I have no right to these touches. To these kisses. She is not to be mine. Not now. Not later. Not ever. No matter how much the thought of it rips across my soul, I know Magna Reign was not mine to touch, and is not mine to keep.

A song comes to haunt my thoughts for the thousandth time, one I have listened for the first time at this day and age on the Question and Answer Machine and which had immediately captured my heart and mind. The lyrics, so simple, yet so agonizingly apt for my situation, echoed in the silent chambers of my heart.

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast

Well, you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much, and you dived too deep

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

I gently place her uncovered body back under the covers as droplets of rain, fat and mournful, begin to pepper the skylight of our attic apartment.

On the day of her departure, even the skies are crying, taking pity on us both.

"It's pouring, and the cold seeps in. You'll catch your death." I mutter my flimsy excuse, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue. The real reason why I am covering her nudity is because her exposed form is even more tempting for me now, under the weak light of the day, and I fear I might lose myself in her body again, lose myself in her presence, and forget the painful, rational conclusion I had reached.

"Aww, is that a hint of worry I detect in your voice, lord Worry-ington?" Her dimples flicker, and she stifles a giggle, blissfully happy in her obliviousness to my decision. "I don't know about you, Mister, but me, I sure am not in the mood to pay attention to the weather just now. I'd rather pay attention to... something else." Magna reaches out and traces my spine with her fingernails, a feathery touch that sent a jolt of electricity through me.

I shudder at the goosebumps those fingernails produce.

Her bare, voluminous breasts sway under the covers, and the movement brings memories from the night past, a vivid and unwelcome replaying of our intimate hours.

I usually prefer my women petite and thin, yet Magna was so pliable, so warm in my arms, so responsive to my touch last night. It felt as if my thoughts flowed into actions and her actions in turn, mimicked mine. We mirrored each other's hungers and our fires, simultaneously setting them and putting them out.

In the same measure as I liked her lush hips and rounded thighs, I liked her softness and the way she filled my hands, a perfect, comforting weight.

No. No, you fool. It can never happen again. Stay away from her. Let her go back to her time and find her own happiness, just as you must somehow find yours.

I jerk away at her touch as if she'd burned me, then spring to my feet, following my inner command.

I clear my throat before I speak, my voice coming out hoarse and strained.

"I simply did not wish to wake you... Miss Reign." I say, reverting to a formality that felt like a flimsy shield between us. "Try to get some more rest if you can. I think that would be prudent. And then, you may have your breakfast. You should eat. Before your... trip. As to me, I believe I should help Mr. Addison with the inventory downstairs. I can hear him tossing the boxes around already and his sight is not as it used to be."

"Oh, is it Miss Reign again? A pity. I kind of liked it when you screamed Magna all night long, Milord. As to your suggestion: my answer is no. There's just no way I can sleep any more! I'm too bloody excited!" Magna struggles to get up, and her tousled hair is quite a cute mess.

Ignoring the dress I laid out for her on the adjacent chair, she reaches straight for my crumpled shirt, and wraps herself into it. I gulp at the sight, as her feminine body in my masculine garment throws me into a whole new predicament. The garment, oversized on her, only served to highlight her curves and the delicate skin of her bare legs.

"Regardless of how fecking cold it is outside, or inside, for that matter, this should warm me right up, don't you think?" She giggles like a little girl and inhales deeply, almost worshipfully, my scent from the fabric. "Oh, Edmund. It smells just like you." She hops on her feet. "Now. Let me come with you. Let us both help that old codger. I want to feel useful, plus, that'll give me the excuse to ogle your ass as you bend down to grab a box."

"No." I repeat, this time harsher. "You stay here, Magna." Every additional moment next to her would be a torture for us both. Does she not realize that?

"Edmuuund!" Magna meows in protest, a sound of pure exasperation. "You can't leave me. I won't let you. Did you hear me? I command you: Do not leave."

I have not failed to notice how she lit up at my use of her given name, and I curse myself inwardly. Whenever I am around her, I try my darnedest to fashion a plan, and act according to it, but my feelings always end up getting the best of me in the end. Always betraying me.

She barricades the door with a playful pout, and I sense the muscles on my face stretch into an involuntary smile. It's impossible. Impossible not to give in to her. To her sweetness and childlike playfulness. I best be honest with her. I can not play any more games.

"You are the one who I am letting leave." I blurt out and swallow hard, as my eyes close, waiting for her reaction after my strike.

"What are you saying... Edmund? You can't tell me last night meant nothing to you, Milord." She frowns and then waves my own shirt lapels at me like an adorable scarecrow, the gesture full of bewildered pain.

"Meant nothing to me?" I repeat her words, incredulously, with astonishment. "It meant everything to me. To be sure, I have never spent a more meaningful, complete, beautiful and loving evening in a female company. Ever." I reiterate, and gently grab her hand to bring it to my mouth with a fervor I could not suppress.

Her forefinger traces the line of my lips. "I feel the same. Then what's wrong, silly? You are acting so strange." Magna seeks out my embrace, seeks out reassurance that nothing will change.

I will not give that promise, but I still cannot help myself but to hug her and hold her close. I lower my mouth on her forehead, touching it devotedly, repeatedly with my feverish lips. Perhaps for the last time.

Yes, just this one more time, and then, never again.

As she stands on the tips of her toes and I lower my head, our noses find each other. They nuzzle one against the another in a devoted, cuddly motion, and we let out a simultaneous sigh. A sigh somewhere between deep sorrow and content.

"What is wrong is that I am painfully aware we must say goodbye to each other." The words pour out of me like water from a dam that has burst, water that drowns everything before it, water that is no longer possible to contain. "Last night when I had you in my arms, in this very bed... I felt like I didn't need anything else, anyone else in the whole world. And yet now I know, I cannot have you by my side. Our time together is ending."

"Edmund, I... I feel the same. I am not sure how, and when yet, from being just a mere co time-traveller, I began fantasising about your hands, your mouth, your smile, your eyes, your words, your laugh, your presence. About being with you in body, and not just in mind and spirit as we usually were. And it's the strangest thing but... Often, the things you were saying.... They made me feel like I my soul has known yours since, since the beginning of time."

"Maybe it has. Maybe you have. Some people say souls are ancient. Perhaps both our souls are, and they were entwined, have been entwined and are to be entwined over the millennia. A client and an attorney in one generation, a seller and a buyer in another. A challenger and a challengee, man and wife, hooker and punter, betrayer and betrayed, police officer and thief, sailor and mermaid, murderer and victim, saviour and saved. Each time different. Each time threaded. There is no denying there is something joining our hearts. A fine thread, an invisible one. The same stuff our dreams are made of." I swallow as her cell phone rings, a harsh, modern chirp that interrupts my heart's outflow.

"It's... It's Hollie." Magna glances down at the screen and whispers. "I didn't expect this to happen so soon. She is notifying me that my... I mean... I think my dad is about to arrive. And I... I should probably change clothes. Wow. I thought we would have more time."

"Of course." My heart misses a beat, a painful, hollow thud. "Of course." I nod. "Yes! This is good. This is what I have been saying just now. That you are to go to your time. This is what you have wanted from the beginning. What you have so desperately been trying to accomplish for months." I try to infuse my voice with a conviction I didn't feel.

"I have." She fists my shirt lapels, staring at the floor, a single tear tracing a path down her cheek.

"You will be better off with your father, in your time. With all that technology at your reach, you will finally be able to fulfil your full potential. Prove him what you are made of. I know how much you wish for him to be proud of you." I talk about something, anything that isn't us, and that might pose a new goal for her. I am determined to assure both her and myself of it. That we are better off apart. There are too many years and miles that separate us.

"And as... as we talked about it... As soon as the prototype is perfected. I will come and take you to your time. Edmund. It will have to be in a day, month or year after this one, after we have had this conversation, but I am not sure when, exactly." Magna's voice is hoarse, and a slash across my heart tells me she is battling tears, battling this uncertainty.

"There will be no need for that," I say, mouthing thoughts that have ripened over the past weeks. "I have decided to stay here. I mean, now. In 2025. When I first arrived to this day and age, I felt useless. I was disappointed that no one knew me, no one knew my family. Even I did not know what became of them, and did not care to look up till recently. I am still gathering the courage to do so, but I will do so when the right time presents itself. But then, as months passed, I realised something. In this time and place, I can be someone without my name, merely with my deeds and qualities. A name used to be all I was. A form without an essence. Now, I have found my essence."

"So you're not... Not going back to 1840? You do not want me to come here and take you... There? Where your home used to be?"

I can sense she is alarmed, and surprised.

"You do know what might happen to you if you don't go back, Edmund. Remember the deer, remember our prong theory? You might become someone else altogether, as you embark upon the... The road not taken."

I nod. I have accepted such a fate. I care not for retaining the old version of me, for going back to my old time. What on Earth for?

You will not be there, Magna. And I cannot make myself to live out the rest of my life where you are not. I would rather stay in 2025, surrounded by the memories of you.

I do not say it all exactly like that, at least not out loud, but I do not shy away from confessing how I feel, either.

"Why should I go back? There is nothing left for me there. I have made a decision. I want to forge my future here. You have shown me this new path, and I am intent on following it."

"If... If you are absolutely sure." She swallows, but I see it from the expression on her face, she will respect what I have decided.

"I am. I am positive this choice will bring me peace of mind, and freedom. And I have decided upon it inspired by you. Because of how free you are. How free you have always been. Your appearance in my life, it has been nothing but a blessing. You are quite something, Magna. You always have been this... exotic, free bird. I have admired your machines and your creativity. Your ability to go flying from century to century. So what I want for you is to keep flying. Be free. Just as my will is to remain, you should go. Go where you wish, out of your own volition. No one has the right to make that choice for you. Godspeed, Magna."

I flee through the door, half-running down the stairs as if pursued by a demon, unable to face her, well aware she still stands in the middle of our room, statue-still and numb.

Merely two whispered words accompany me in my descent, a final, heartbreaking echo.

"Goodbye, Edmund."