Author's note: Hey, everyone! I'm extremely thankful to everybody who's still reading, voting and commenting. I hope you all like the aesthetic I created for this chapter. I have some important news: we're very close to the end of Another Life! For the reading of this chapter, I recommend the songs "Home" by Daughtry and "Far Away" by Nickelback. PLEASE vote and comment! Enjoy and have a great day/evening/night!

Chapter 23:  Completely lost

Two weeks went by since Jane declared her love for Loki. She was still devastated and tried to forget her feelings, but that was not being an easy task. For her, every day without the god of mischief seemed empty and lifeless. She missed their conversations, his smile, the kisses... even dealing with his flaws. Loki would not admit it easily, but he was feeling even sadder than the Midgardian. He was destroyed on the inside because of everything terrible that happened. The kidnapping, the betrayal, the horrible goodbye... all the events were driving him crazy in an unimaginable way. Loki was very talkative and barely talked with anyone since the day he left Midgard. He would not open his mouth, not even to provoke or trick someone. The god of mischief was trying to convince himself that being betrayed was what bothered him the most; however, that was not the truth. The three simple words that Jane said were what left him a real mess.

Valkyrie had gotten back to her duties as queen and stopped bothering Thor and Jane. Thor was pleased about that and Loki was as well, but not even that fact was enough to cheer the latter up. All that he did was walk all day on the Bifrost, then around New Asgard, adrift. Some inhabitants even wondered if Loki was drunk. Thor was looking for his brother, wondering if he had gotten himself into trouble. It did not take much for Loki to get involved with what he should not. The god of thunder had never met broken-hearted Loki and was not sure of what he was capable of. Thor had walked for almost one hour around New Asgard and no sign of his brother. He looked from one side to another and whispered:

- Loki, please show up! – the Asgardian was getting very worried about his adopted brother. As if Thor's words had a supernatural power, he heard Loki's voice coming from a distance and started following it. He looked around and could not see the god of mischief, but soon found him on an empty alley sat and leaning against a wall. Loki had a mysterious glass bottle on his right and Thor sighed, worried. He had never seen the trickster like that before, not even when the Avengers defeated him in 2012.

Thor sat by Loki's right, unsure of what to do with that bottle. The god of mischief looked at his brother and then turned his gaze to a different direction. "If you are not saying anything, then I will, Loki. Please say something.", the Asgardian thought, clearing his throat. Loki took a deep breath, rolled his eyes, and said:

- I want to be alone. – He knew that his adopted brother did not want the company, but the former wished to do something to help. "I have never seen him so... broken.", Thor thought, upset. Despite all of Loki's wrongdoings, Thor cared for him a lot... although not as much as Jane did. No one in the Nine Realms cared for Loki like her.

- I know, but I don't want to leave you like this. I haven't heard a single word from you in a week! I think you should try to talk about what is going on... talking really helps to make things better. – the god of thunder suggested. Loki sighed, wishing he could use his powers to send Thor away. The last thing he wanted to do was to discuss his heartbreak and much less speak about the "I love you." "When I talk, you tell me to shut up, now you want me to speak? Go to Helheim, Thor!", the god of mischief thought, angry.

- Thank you for your concern, but there is literally nothing you can say that will help me. – Loki said, drinking more from the mysterious bottle. Thor frowned, staring at the bottle and trying to guess what was inside it.

- What are you drinking? – Thor asked, a little bit confused.

- Tequila. I stole from a Midgardian bar a few days ago. It has no effect... it's just like water to me. I will need some more later. – Loki said, upset with the fact that he could not get drunk easily. At that moment, the Asgardian got truly scared. The god of mischief rarely consumed alcoholic beverages and much less to get drunk.

- The so-called emotionless Loki is drinking his sorrows away? I did not see that coming... - Thor said, genuinely worried. Loki got even angrier and threw the bottle against the wall in front of him. The bottle broke in a thousand pieces and some tequila started running down the sidewalk. "Why can't he just leave me alone? Isn't having feelings horrible enough?" the trickster thought, furious and devastated at the same time.

- Do you want to judge me? Then talk to yourself! – Loki yelled, standing up and ready to walk away. Thor followed his brother, surprised with that extreme reaction:

- Easy, Loki! I am not judging you! I was just making an observation. I just need you to tell me what is afflicting you so I can help. – the god of mischief took a deep breath and walked from one side to another. Loki was feeling extremely sad, angry, afraid... many things at the same time. He hated emotions and was feeling way too many. The trickster would rip all of that sentiment off him if he could.

- You know that it's the way Jane betrayed me that is driving me crazy! You know finding out about her stupid mission to drag me to prison is the reason for my sorrow, so stop asking! – Loki shouted, feeling too nervous. Thor just stood still, looking at his brother, with his mouth open and unsure of what to say or do. The god of mischief looked at the floor for a brief instant, then at the shattered bottle.

- I apologize for my rudeness, but I can't talk about this. I don't want to ever see or talk about Jane Foster again! – the trickster affirmed, turning his back on Thor and quickly walking in the opposite direction. Loki walked many blocks until he found a much emptier place. It had a lot of grass on the floor. It was located at a high altitude and provided a nice view of the sea. Sometimes looking at beautiful landscapes calmed Loki down.

When he was looking at the ocean, drowning in his own thoughts and emotions, a familiar female voice came from behind:

- You didn't tell Thor the truth. – that sound even gave Loki shivers. It was Frigga's voice... his mother's voice. He gaped for a brief instant, then turned to her with his eyes widened. His mom was standing there in a spectral form. Frigga's curly and long blond hair was partially pulled back, she was wearing an elegant long-sleeved blue dress and gold sandals. Her calm and bright blue eyes were fixed on Loki's and she peacefully smiled at him.

- Mother? Is that really you? Thor told me you were dead... I can't believe it! – Loki said, shocked and getting closer to his mother. She laughed a little and answered:

- But I am, my dear. I'm a ghost. I just came because I have been watching you and... well, I felt that you need me. – He looked down at an instant and sighed, about to cry. Although she was right in front of him, Frigga was really gone. That could be the last time he would see her.

Realizing her son's sadness, Frigga approached him, took his hands and said:

- It's fine. I'm ok where I am. First of all, I would like to apologize to you. – Loki frowned, a little bit confused. He had never heard Frigga say that before and wondered what was in her mind.

- Apologize for what? – Loki asked, curious, crossing his arms. She took a deep breath and answered:

- For being accomplice while your father treated you like an inferior. I knew that he was wrong and instead of telling him to stop, I supported him. That was horrible and I know that I left a massive scar in your heart because of the way Thor was glorified. – the god of mischief sighed, thinking about what would be the right thing would be to say. "I can't believe that after ruining my life she decided to say that.", Loki thought. At the same time, he wished to forgive her; it was not easy to forgive something that let him broken for years. Growing in Thor's shadow was a nightmare for Loki and his parents cooperated for that to happen.

- You and father destroyed me by doing what you did, but there is no way to undo the past. I moved on. – Loki said, looking down and biting his lower lip. Frigga noticed that her son had not said if he forgave her or not; however, she preferred not to insist on that matter. Before the goddess could say anything, to change the subject, Loki said:

- You said that I didn't tell my brother the truth. What have I told him that is not the truth? – he turned his gaze back to her, curious. Frigga smiled briefly, nodded, and remained silent for a moment. She knew that what she was about to say could backfire, although she was sure it was no mistake. The goddess knew Loki too well to not see what he was hiding.

- That the main reason for your emotional mess is not Jane's betrayal. Also, it's a lie that you never want to see her again. – Loki sighed, rolled his eyes and took one step away from his mom. He could not take that conversation anymore. If he heard the name Jane again, he would freak out. "I hate this feeling! I hate the way I feel about that Midgardian! I hate what happened between us!", he thought, wishing to yell all that out loud.

- Not you too, mom! Just Thor talking about her was enough. – Loki said, getting angry. Frigga got a little closer to him so that he could hear what she had to say. One thing Loki had in common with his adoptive mother was determination. Both did not give up easily on what they wished to accomplish.

- You love her, don't you? – the goddess asked, with a mysterious expression on her face. Loki opened his mouth to protest, he even considered saying something impolite, but nothing came out. Those words hit him like a cannonball. He looked at the horizon and had no idea what to answer.

- That is the real reason for how you are feeling right now. Jane said she loves you and that made you realize you love her back. Since loving her was too scary, you decided to run away from the truth instead of facing it. You think that by avoiding her, the feeling will vanish, and you are going to be the cold-hearted Loki that you want to be. – Frigga explained, getting closer to her son and trying to make him look at her in the eyes. She was a wise woman and was observing Loki in the shadows before he returned home, so she saw Jane's confession of love. That was not a surprise for the goddess.

Loki's silence remained. He felt a massive relief that his mom said those words for him. Although he did not say anything, he felt like a weight was off his shoulders.

- I can't love. Jane said she loves me, which is impossible, and I can't say it back. Nobody loves me and I love no one, that's how things have always been. – Loki explained, looking at his mother with a hint of desperation in his eyes. Frigga nodded, processing the information. She walked around her son for a moment, then stopped at his right and asked:

- Are you impossible to be loved, or do you simply feel that you don't deserve love? Also, are you really unable to love, or can't you just accept that you aren't immune to loving someone? – those questions made Loki speechless once again. He bit his lower lip since Frigga knew the truth. The god of mischief had always been the best to hide his true concerns. He used lies, mischief, even evil to do so instead of discussing and facing them. "Why is my mother doing this to me? I don't want to feel any of this! It's not in my nature to love!", Loki thought, agonized.

- Your attitude highlights what your father always said: sometimes, silence is better than words to show that something is true. – "I know you better than you know yourself, Loki. I might not have been the best mother to you, but I can tell what you truly feel.", Frigga thought, waiting for her son's response.

- Mom, you don't understand. If I lay eyes on Jane again... I will say things I don't want to. I'm still upset with her betrayal. – Loki said. He was telling the truth, but not entirely. Frigga examined his face as if she was trying to read his mind.

- I know you are sad, but we both have to admit that you betrayed many people in your life. You can't really afford to judge her for what she has done. Also, have you forgotten that she changed her mind about you and saved you from prison? – the goddess said. Loki sighed and closed his eyes, angry with the fact that his mother was right. He hated it when he was wrong. Thor's brother was bothered by the fact that Frigga figured out the truth about how he felt that he wanted to run and hide from her.

- I remember that. It was... quite memorable. I feel like I didn't thank Jane enough for setting me free. – Loki confessed, regretting having focused so much on the betrayal. He did not even know that she was also in prison because she stepped out of the mission.

- Don't worry about it, I'm sure she understood. Jane is a great woman and if I were you, I would not let her go... You did not officially break up with her, so maybe she will still take you back. – Loki was very divided: he was not sure if he should completely forget Jane or go after her. He was trying to convince himself that it was a hard decision, but it was actually not. Deep in his heart, the god of mischief knew precisely what he wanted to do. Loki was sick of pretending, trying to convince himself that he did not love Jane. He felt that he had to stop denying his true feelings once and for all.

- You are right! I need to go after her. I can't take this any longer. I was trying to forget Jane, convince myself that I don't love her... but I'm just wasting my time. I love her. For the first time in my empty life, I love someone. – Loki admitted, in shock. Deep down, he knew about his love for Jane but was surprised to finally admit it. Frigga smiled, proud of her son's courage. Confessing that he felt love was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life and the goddess knew that. "I can't deny this anymore. I'm in love with Jane Foster.", Loki thought, surprised with how the barriers he built around his heart were broken.

- So, what are you waiting for? – Frigga asked, showing the direction of the Bifrost for Loki. When the trickster thought of running towards the rainbow bridge, he felt that he had to say one more thing to his mother. He took one step to the left, still looking into her eyes and asked:

- I will go, but first I need to ask you something: why are you trying to get me together with Jane? Why not Thor? He was her boyfriend, after all! – the woman laughed a little. "Loki might pretend to be confident, but he is so insecure. I wish I could have done something to change that in him... it makes him suffer so much!" she thought, feeling bad for her adoptive son.

- Because we both know you are the one who owns her heart, Loki. She dated your brother, but that was a long time ago and they were never truly in love. You are the one who is meant to be with Jane. – Frigga affirmed, caressing Loki's hands. After hearing that from his mother, he knew that he could not waste any more time away from Jane. He nodded, took a deep breath to calm his nerves and said:

- Thank you, mom. I will be forever grateful for how you convinced me to go back to Jane. – the goddess smiled again and hugged her son tight. It was one of the best hugs of Loki's life. His mother had never hugged him like that since he was a child.

After the hug, Frigga said:

- I will miss you, my son. Now go for your beloved! Go! – Loki smiled back, nodded and went running towards the Bifrost. Frigga was happy to have fulfilled her goal and disappeared after her son reached a certain distance. Loki was so anxious about seeing Jane again that he was sweating, but at the same time, excited that he would finally tell her how he truly felt. The god of mischief wished that it was not too late for him to have Jane back. He could not wait to knock on her door, kiss her lips and confess his love for her.