The winter holidays passed, and Niles eventually took his motley crew of faeries back home. However, before he got too busy with the new university semester, Niles wanted to make sure Ashton could go out and do something that he would enjoy.

Luckily, he had just the idea. His friends always held a casual soccer tournament the first weekend in January, so their first Saturday morning back in town found them driving out to a park an hour away.

Ashton, of course, loved it, and he won each game for whichever team he was on, leading to slightly different tournament rules where everyone switched having Ashton for each game.

It was loud, and there was a lot of arguing about who got Ashton next, but everyone seemed to enjoy it. The sun slowly dipped in the sky, and Niles and Ashton took a break to walk around the park before the last game.

"They're switching up the teams again," Niles mentioned. "Are you playing on my team or Spencer's this time?"

Ashton didn't even bother looking at him. "Yours. You need all the help you can get."

Niles scoffed in disbelief. "Ok, just because I'm not a superhuman player like you doesn't mean I'm bad," he protested.

"Yeah, yeah," Ashton said dismissively, and Niles rolled his eyes.

"Well, let's head back," he suggested, pulling away from Ashton in protest. "The others are probably wondering where we are."

Niles heard Ashton chuckle behind him, and he smiled as he heard Ashton hurry to catch up to him. Ashton's footsteps suddenly stopped, however, and Niles paused as well, turning around in confusion.

Ashton had stopped in his tracks, his cheeks turning pale, and the smile quickly fading from his face.

"Ashton?" Niles asked, feeling alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Ashton didn't answer as he stared at Niles with wide eyes. Niles didn't think Ashton was seeing him at all. He looked around quickly, but all he saw were the trees rustling in the wind and two kids laughing and playing, their grandfather watching as he smoked a cigarette nearby.

"Ashton?" Niles said again. He walked back to Ashton and took his cold fingers in one hand, reaching up to touch his face with the other. "Can you hear me?"

Ashton's eyes suddenly snapped back into focus, and he looked at Niles. Niles' fingers almost slipped off Ashton's face in surprise.

He hadn't seen that kind of empty despair in Ashton's eyes since they had parted ways four years ago. In the months that they had been spending together, Niles almost believed he'd never see it again.

"I need to sit down," Ashton said faintly. Niles nodded and held his hand tighter as he led him to an old park bench farther up the path. The kids and their grandfather moved away, towards the playground, until Niles could no longer hear their happy shouts.

Ashton sat down on the weathered wood and propped his elbows on his knees, covering his face with his hands. Niles sat down next to him and hesitantly placed his hand on Ashton's torn back.

"Can you take me home?" Ashton whispered. His voice broke a little. "Please?"

"Of course," Niles quickly responded, trying to hide how worried he felt. He reached down to pull Ashton to his feet. "Let's go home."

It was dark by the time they got home. Ashton was still shivering, so after coaxing him into eating a few bites of dinner, Niles stuck him in the shower to warm up and calm down. He waited outside the bathroom door, chewing on his lip and thinking.

What was that? he wondered as he paced. What triggered such an extreme reaction? He has... moments, but it's been so long since I've seen him like that. 

The shower shut off, and Niles snapped his head up. Ashton slipped out of the bathroom a few minutes later, drying his hair with a towel and keeping his head bowed.

"Ah, here, let me," Niles said. He reached up to take the towel from Ashton, and the faerie let him, fingers limp. Niles walked over to the bed and sat down, gesturing for Ashton to sit in front of him. Ashton did so without a word.

They sat there in a heavy silence, Niles taking his time drying Ashton's hair, and Ashton staring at the wall. Eventually, Ashton's hair was mostly dry, and Niles leaned down to kiss him lightly on the head.

"Let's go to bed," he said softly. Ashton got up without hesitation and slipped under the covers, still silent.

Niles stood up from the edge of the bed and slowly walked over to the doorway to turn off the light. He stood there for a minute in the dark, gathering his thoughts and trying to figure out what to do next.

Since they had been sharing a room the last few months, Niles had discovered the hard way that Ashton still had nightmares. It wasn't every night, but every once in a while, Niles would wake up to find Ashton clutching him tightly, wide awake and trying to walk himself through all of the breathing exercises that Niles had taught him years ago.

Holding Ashton was usually enough to calm him down, so Niles would lay awake with him and stroke his hair until Ashton's grip loosened and he fell back asleep.

Sometimes, Ashton didn't want to be touched at all, sitting up at the far side of the bed until he had calmed down. Niles always waited up with him, and after a few minutes, Ashton would want to be held again.

But this? This reaction was something different. And Niles didn't know what to do. 

Finally, he shook his head. Right now, Ashton just needs me to be there for him, he decided. If he wants to talk, he'll talk.

With that in mind, he got into bed and reached over to put his arm around Ashton, tangling his hand in Ashton's hair.

Ashton immediately scooted closer to him, pressing his forehead against Niles' chest and wrapping his arm around his waist. They lay like that for so long that Niles thought Ashton had fallen asleep. Then suddenly, Ashton spoke.

"I'm sorry about today."

His voice was so faint that Niles wasn't sure if he had imagined it at first. "Huh? What are you sorry for?" he asked.

Ashton shifted. "For ruining the day, I guess." Of all the things that had happened today, that was what Ashton was worried about? Disappointing him?

Niles shook his head in disbelief and ran his thumb along the edge of Ashton's pointed ear. "You didn't ruin the day at all," he replied. "Did I make it seem like you did?"

"Well... no," Ashton said reluctantly. "But still. I made it so that we couldn't keep our plans. I made us come home. You had to take care of me. Again."

"That doesn't sound like a ruined day to me," Niles said lightly. "It just sounds like a change of plans. Besides, I love taking care of you."

Ashton tapped his forehead against Niles' chest in frustration. "Niles."

"I'm not disappointed or mad about how the day turned out," Niles continued. "But it sounds like you are." Ashton didn't respond to that, so Niles took a deep breath and finally asked the question he had been wondering about since the park. "What exactly happened that made you freeze like that?"

Ashton still didn't say anything, so Niles waited. He moved his hand from Ashton's hair to the back of Ashton's neck and softly rubbed at its tense spots. "You can say as much or as little about it as you want to," he added.

"The... cigarette smoke," Ashton finally managed to get out. "It smelled like... like him."

Niles froze, and the image of the little family at the park flashed across his mind. The grandfather had been smoking, if he remembered correctly.

"His house always smelled like smoke," Ashton finished. His voice trailed off, and Niles stared into the dark, trying to will away images of a little Ashton shivering at the bottom of a glass jar and waiting, petrified, for his captor to remember that he was there.

He instinctively held Ashton closer to him, as if that would magically make those long, horrific months go away. "Oh, Ashton," he said heavily. "I'm so, so sorry." Ashton clutched the back of his shirt in response.

"I thought... I thought I had gotten better," Ashton whispered. "The dreams are one thing, but I thought... I was done suddenly remembering... him... during the day... like... that..." Niles' heart hurt at how broken he sounded.

Niles didn't know what to say. He wanted to refute Ashton's comment, tell him how he had gotten better, so much better, that Niles barely recognized him as the same person he had met four years ago.

But this was clearly bothering Ashton, and Niles didn't know where the line was between encouraging Ashton and dismissing his current feelings.

"I'm sorry, my love. I'm so sorry you had to relive that today," Niles said again.

He wrapped and unwrapped one of Ashton's loose curls around his finger, lost in thought. Finally, he sighed and nestled his chin on the top of Ashton's head. "I'm here," he murmured. "And I think you're doing amazing."

Ashton let out a shaky breath, and Niles felt him nod against his chest. "Please don't leave me," he heard Ashton say in a small voice.

Niles lifted Ashton's chin up and kissed him softly. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered against Ashton's lips.

Ashton's cheeks were wet, and Niles realized he had been crying silently this whole time. He leaned down to kiss the tears from Ashton's eyes before resting his forehead against Ashton's.

Ashton closed his eyes and sighed. Niles studied his face for a moment before reaching up to dry Ashton's tears with his sleeve. He hugged Ashton close again and held his head against his chest.

"I think... having bad days like today doesn't automatically undo all the progress you've already made," Niles said softly. "I'm really proud of how far you've come."

Ashton nodded again, slower this time. His breathing also slowed, and his grip on the back of Niles' shirt loosened. And then it was just Niles, awake and alone with his thoughts in the dark.

So, he lay there long after Ashton had fallen asleep, stroking Ashton's hair and letting his own tears fall until he fell asleep himself.

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A/N: Ashton really is doing much, much better, but he still remembers things from time to time. Poor guy. But Niles is there to take care of him, as usual.

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote and comment. We get a new character next chapter!