*woop woop Ana's pov*

That night, I decided to go to bed early. It was only 8:00 pm, but I was tired. I didn't want to sit on that chair any longer, plus the awkwardness of those three sneaking glances at me and exchanging whispers was getting annoying. So I hiked myself up the stairs after mumbling a "good night" and locked myself in the guest bedroom.

Upon entering my temporary sleeping quarters I found another fresh pair of clothes (a long-sleeved t shirt and fuzzy pants) that Jenna left for me. I realized that I probably needed a shower, desperately, but I couldn't bring myself to take one for lack of energy, motivation, and care. I paced back and forth in that room for a while. Finally I couldn't stand the boredom anymore, so I decided to be sanitary and clean up. Better than walking around helplessly.

After discovering that there wasn't a shampoo bottle to be found in that damned bathroom, I chose to look in the bag that Jenna gave me to see if there was some in there. As I was sifting through it, I found a shaver.

Now, I don't like going into detail about this, but I think it's necessary to at least include this fact in here in order for some to better understand. I had dealt with self harm ever since I was ten years old, after my dad died. What I was about to do with that shaver was nothing new.

I grabbed it and took it apart, taking the razors it left and the shampoo I was looking for and bringing them into the shower with me.

I wasn't sure how the idea had first occurred to me all those years ago. However, I did know that I was in pain emotionally and mentally, and somehow the physical pain of dragging that razor across my skin and the sensation of the warm blood trickling from the wound made it better, like it was giving my emotional pain a voice. I had always known it was a horrible coping mechanism, but it at least worked for a while, so I stuck with it.

Nothing was different that night as I sobbed in the shower, hating my life, hating myself, and wanting it all to end.

About an hour had passed before I got out, dried myself, and threw on the fresh pair of clothes that Jenna gave me. I hid the razors, one at the bottom of a tissue box, one under the mattress, one under a lamp, and one in between the pages of an old, worn out bible that was tucked in the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed.

I unlocked the bedroom door, dragged myself over to the bed, and collapsed. Although I was tired, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Sounds and images replayed in my head over and over and over. The slam I had heard from upstairs, followed by my mother's screams. The overwhelming heat of the fire as it surrounded me. Josh's firm grasp as he dragged me out of the burning building. He should have left me in there to die.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a knock on the door. I told the person to come in and Josh pushed open the door, turning on the light, blinding me. I covered my eyes with my freshly cut but covered arm.

"Sorry, I should've known that would've blinded you." He said this rather cheerfully as he came over and sat on the edge of the bed by my feet.

I exposed my face and squinted at him, feigning a smile. "It's alright."

When he saw my countenance, his eyebrows furrowed and his cheery smile was gone. "Hey, you alright?"

"Huh?" I sat up, rubbing my face. It was moist with tears and my eyes felt puffy. I hadn't noticed I was crying. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Listen." He took a sudden interest in the floor. "You don't have to lie to me, you know? It's okay to not be okay. Hiding your emotions is going to harm you more than help you."

I wrapped my arms around myself. He knew how to get under one's skin.

"You haven't eaten today."

"I tried," I whispered.

"I know. I know. Today's been worse than yesterday, hasn't it?"

I concurred.

"Well... okay. Let's change that." He looked back up at me and turned, sitting Indian-style so that he was facing me. "Let's get to know each other better. Not like we tried to do yesterday. That sound good?"

"I guess so," I replied.

"Alright. Well, to start, my name is Joshua William Dun."

I just gazed at him.

"Come on, don't just stare! What's your full name?"

"Oh. Uhh, it's Anastasia Ruby Halloway."

He froze. The smile on his face turned into a sad one. "Ruby, huh?"

"Yeah. That was my dad's mom's name."

"It's a wonderful name. I used to know someone named Ruby." He sighed, placing his chin in one hand. "Anyway. What's your favorite color?"

"Blue. Maybe purple."

"I like black and blue."

"Like a bruise?"

He laughed. "Sure."

The night went on like this for a while. Finally I was so exhausted that I could barely keep my eyes open, so he bid me a "goodnight" and left me alone to be tortured by my nightmares once more.