I quickly stand and take the other ladder up to the surface. Immediately, a swarm of people surround me. Congratulating words and praise flit around my head. I ignore them all and search for the one person I desperately need to talk to. A cry of relief is followed by Kaya's arms wrapped tightly around me. I hold to her, just for a moment, before the Announcer takes his turn in the cycle of those waiting their turn to speak with me.

"That was quite the show, eh?" His twirls his ridiculous mustache. "Didn't expect your own mate to turn on you, eh?" He nods in Darren's direction, where Wes speaks with him in a hushed tone, a dangerous look on his face. "It was pretty exciting. Lotta coin came in, eh?" If I here one more eh, I swear I'm going to scream.

"Get out with it," I snap. The Announcer doesn't seem to notice my aggravation. "I've got you winnings for the night. Pretty good, considering it's your first fight in weeks, eh?" I grind my teeth as he shakes the sack in his hand, the coins jingling inside.

I turn away from it. With the way the match went, I have to force myself not to shudder. Kaya takes it from him instead. "And it's her only fight, as well. We're leaving for the night."

"Come now, you could bring in a lot more, eh?" The Announcer greedily eyes the bag in Kaya's hand and the expression reminds me too much of the Ms. Elodie's.

Kaya points behind me. "You'll see. After what just happened, Wes is going to call the rest of the night off."

A minute later, Wes does exactly that. Everyone shuffles out, going one by one through the door up to the public tavern. Kaya accompanies me from the back entrance. She already has my cloak, but I don't know when she grabbed it. I take it from her and fasten it, drawing the hood up. Without another look back at the tavern, we walk into the night.

* * *

Despite the arguments of nearly half the crew, I refuse to sleep in my own bed. Instead, I take up my nightly spot beside Nona, after Kaya stitches up my arm. She's done it more than a few times, but I still can't watch, flinching every time the needle pierces my skin.

Normally I bring a book with me, reading while occasionally looking to Nona for any movement. Tonight, I just watch her, the rise and fall of her chest allowing me a semblance of comfort, knowing she's still alive. She's still here.

My fingers mindlessly run along the bandage around my arm. So many thoughts race through my head and I don't know how to sort them out, how to deal with it all. Kaya is a blessing, always easy to talk to no matter what. But I wish to have a chance to speak with Nona, too. Somehow, she's able to bring in a peck of light in the darkest of moments. Nona is the one who brought me up from the streets, who took me in when all others looked down on me. And there are some things, some uncertainties and dark worries, that I need her for.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but the soft sound of my name draws me out of sleep. Something warm rests against my cheek and I lean into it. I open my eyes and my heart skips a beat. Nona's eyes are open and alert, the muddy glaze that usually covers them gone. I realize the warmth on my face is her palm cupping my cheek.

"Nona?" I whisper. Please don't let this be a dream, please, please don't let this be a cruel trick played by my mind.

"Ah, my dear Caralynn." She smiles, and a gasp of surprise and joy escapes me. The relief of hearing my full name from her lips encompasses me. Nona's eyes drift down to my wrapped arm and a frown creases her brows. "Caralynn, not another night at that wretched place."

A small laugh is my only response. She's never liked the idea of gaining money through brawling and always tries to convince me otherwise. "Oh, Nona, I've missed you so much," I say softly. "Please don't go back to sleep." I can't stop the tear that falls.

Nona raises her pale arm and brushes it away. "I'm not going anywhere, Caralynn. Save your tears for when that time truly comes."

I reel. She's never blatantly talked about the end of her life. "No," I shake my head frantically. "No, don't talk like that. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

Her eyes harden. "None of that. You're stronger than this. You aren't one to depend on others."

"But I do depend on others." I plead. "I depend on you."

Silence reigns between us for a bit before Nona speaks again. "Do you remember when we met?"

I nod. It's been a common thought for weeks.

"You were all on your own with a broken arm, left for nothing. I could have simply walked past you that day, I'm sorry to say you weren't the first child I'd seen on the streets. But do you know what drew me to you?" I slowly shake my head. We never talked much about the day I came home with her, it was a moment of the past and we had the future to look to. "Despite everything that you'd been through, there was a fire in your eyes. An ember that refused to be smothered in the dark world we face. You deserved more than what that orphanage left you with and you prove it every day." Nona's eyes look into mine, encouraging me more than her words. "Caralynn, you are a force to be reckoned with. Don't ever believe otherwise."

I nod again, and the hardness fades away, replaced by the familiar warmth and kindness. I debate telling her about everything that happened today, all the turmoil and chaos, but it's been so long since she's been this lucid that I decide to leave it for tomorrow. I don't want to burden her with all the recent trouble. Instead, we simply talk. About nothing and everything and all the things in between.

Eventually, my eyes begin to feel heavy. I try to hide it from Nona, but I fail. "Go to bed," she urges.

I shake my head. "No, I'll sleep here. I always do."

She narrows her eyes. "Do you mean to tell me that you have been spending every single night in that chair?"

"Well I wasn't just going to leave you."

"Go to sleep. In you own bed. That's not a suggestion." Nona manages to look authoritative while lying in bed sick. I let out an exaggerated sigh and grumble about being old enough to make my own decisions, but a smile stays firm on my lips. She's back. Maybe this is just the first step to her finally getting better. The mere possibility of Nona's recovery washes away all the awful events of the day.

I slowly open the door to the room, not wanting to wake Kaya or Brynn. I don't need to worry about disturbing Kaya, though. She's seated on the edge of her bed, grey eyes vivid against the dark room. She watches as I light a lantern and sit on top of my own covers.

"Nona woke up," I say. Her eyes light up and I can see her smile in the flame's faint glow.

"Is she asleep now?" She asks.

"I think so, she still needs to recover."

"This is good." She clasps her hands together. "Maybe in a couple weeks, we can see about getting her to a healer."

The thought of our inability to bring a doctor to Nona due to our hidden location leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. We can't be found, but I can't help thinking that Nona might've gotten better sooner if she had medical aid.

I stare at my arm, the memory of Darren's blade slicing through my skin fresh. I've been cut before in a weapons match, but Darren's demeanor changed the air of the entire event.

"What happened down there?" Kaya ventures. "Even from above I could see that something wasn't right."

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "Something seemed to have snapped in him. There was this look in his eyes, so feral and...deadly." I meet Kaya's eyes. "He wanted to kill me." My voice is barely audible in the silent room.

"I don't know what exactly went down," Kaya begins. "But I know that Wes sent some people ahead and...dealt with him."

I don't move, simply staring at the wall behind Kaya. This is the first time we've had someone expelled from the crew. No doubt it'll leave turmoil in its wake.

I'm not sure which of us falls asleep first. All I know is that once my eyes finally close, it's not the first time that my sleep is plagued with horrors of the past.

I watch from above, an omniscient presence that is helpless, useless, unable to prevent the unfolding of the events that would plague me years to come. It's the same thing. The same thing every time. The Lord crossing through the threshold with the intent to steal everything I cared for. His daughter aloof in the corner as children unknowingly competed for their lives. The little boy that held so much of my heart setting off the trigger of my nightmares. And me, observing from the darkness beneath the stairs as the world slowly began to crumble before me. I know it's in vain, that nothing I do will change the outcome, but I can't help it.

I shout at the young me to move out of her hiding place and grab Jax and race out of the orphanage before anyone can claim his life. I beg the Lord to leave the little boy alone, to take some other child's future and leave me with the single soul I care. I reach out with invisible arms connected to a body that doesn't exist to the men fighting to restrain two children. I scream for some sort of being with a heart to save my own. I cry as the only person that bothered to love me was carried to a fate worse than death.

Then comes the shrieks and words of madness from a woman who only cared for the jingle of coin in her pockets and sold children to her conquerors in an attempt to sate her ever-growing greed. The threats of a man whose only purpose in the world seemed to be stealing the lives of the innocent in all manners possible. The banishment of a child left to die in the rain. And the echoing of death and despair.

I jolt awake in bed, a hand pressed to my mouth to keep from screaming. I haven't had the dream for months now. Pulling my hand away, I feel the wet tears coursing down my face. I try and stifle the sobs that have been contained for the entire day. One glance outside tells me it's still the dead of night. Looking away from the window, it's then I notice Kaya sitting upright in her bed, head cocked in concern. My hands cover my face in an attempt to hide the tears, though I've never hidden them from Kaya. I hear footsteps crossing the room to my side and the dip of the mattress as Kaya wraps her arms around me.

"The same one?" she asks softly. I nod, clinging to her. She doesn't question further, the nightmares not an uncommon occurrence. She stays with me until I fall asleep again, and I know she won't leave me. She never does.

For the third time this night, my eyes snap open. It's barely dawn, and the birds have yet to begin chirping. Something woke me, but I don't know what exactly. Some urgency stirs inside me, restless in my soul. I can't shake the terrible feeling grasping me, like something is desperately wrong. It's too strong to ignore and for some reason, I find myself walking to Nona's room.

I push open the door, peering inside. Nona shifts in her bed, but something tells me that it's off, her movements a bit irregular. I inch closer. "Nona?" My hand reaches out to her arm, but it jerks away from me. What must've begun as small tremors turn into wild convulsions. "Nona!" I try to hold her shoulders in place, but her spasms are too aggressive.

"Nona, what's wrong. Oh, god, what's going on?" I don't know what to do. I've never seen anything like this. Her body continually seizes, and she falls off the bed. "Kaya!" I scream, falling to the ground beside Nona. "Kaya, it's Nona. Come quick." My hands remain useless by my sides, so I try to keep her head from slamming into the floor.

I hear running and then Kaya's gasp. "Oh, no. Cara, stay with her, I've got to grab my bag." She races away and all I can do is watch Nona convulse on the floor. What happened, she was fine earlier. Oh, god, what's going to happen to her?

Kaya is back a moment later and crouches beside me.

"What the hell is going on?" Wes's voice sounds from the door.

"I don't know," I reply as Kaya sorts through her bag of medicinal supplies. "I just found her like this."

Then I hear a little voice. "Kaya? What's going on?"

I turn my head momentarily to Brynn, the bear still in her hand. Wes takes one look down and steps in front of her, blocking the sight of Nona's state. "It's nothing, Brynn. Your sister just needs to do a few things. Come on, I'll take you back." The receding footsteps are the only sign of their departure.

Nona's body begins to slow, her tremors finally ceasing. Wes comes back and helps us lift her back into bed. Kaya and I share a look and the message is clear.

We need to find a cure. Now.