I didn't stretch this story because I love writing one shots these days. But it turned out long enough, so read only when you have got time in hand. Also I suggest, do listen to this song. this is almost the theme song of this story.

______

Vembaned Lake. Alleppey.

After eighteen long years.
Eighteen? Or nineteen?
Not sure.

Because I, Rohitha Varier, had left this place with my Amma under circumstances... not very pleasant.

However, the backwaters of Kerala, had never actually gotten over my head, heart, or soul..

Standing amidst the palm trees, I breathed in deep.

A dark man in local attire walked towards me with a huge smile.

" Madam, the boat is ready.
It's the fourth one in the row. You have to cross three boats. Our men will help you. Tell us when you wish to board. "

I nodded. And walked a bit aside, clicking pictures of the palm trees that surrounded me.

Not a travel frenzy individual, I was out on a tour itself, after like, three long years. Last time, I had travelled, was to Dehradun. That too, for a business meet. But I had stayed longer.

My boss almost forced me to take a break this time, not because I was underperforming, but because he thought I had worked just way too much, and it was unhealthy.

I did not hate my job.
I loved being a corporate, I loved spending life in closed cabins, indulging in client meets and business deals, growth scales and profits. In fact, work was my only passion..

I did not understand the concept of being in love with humans
How at all, someone could need someone else to live a balanced life, literally went over my head.

Mostly because, I had seen my parents fall out of love. And love itself stopped making sense to me that very day.

I was a precisely unromantic person.  I did not like the idea of emotionally tying myself to someone else.
I hated being responsible for their mental, and physical needs.

I had no respect for the one who had developed this bloody concept, of two people living together throughout life, for the sake of some emotional burden called 'love'.
I had vowed never to fall in a well called so, from which I could not revive.

Zipping my bag, I gestured the localite to finally take me to the assigned boat.

It was a two nights'- three days' package, down the Vembaned Lake.
The boats would halt at several tiny villages on the banks, in the nights...

With theit help, I crossed the first boat. There were planks that connected two boats, they swayed and I screamed. I didn't know how to swim and the immense fear of falling into the water in between brought out such embarrassing expressions. The men laughed but guided me well. The second boat had already been boarded by an Australian couple, who even helped me cross their boat.

Finally after a lot of blood and sweat, I jumped into my boat.
And stretched my arms.

The men carried my bag insides, two women who were probably their wives and would accompany us in the journey, welcomed me with huge smiles.

' Us ' , because I wasn't alone on the boat. I knew that as well. It had two rooms, and the other was informed to be booked by someone else. And I had caught glimpse of that 'someone' ever since I landed into the boat.

He was sitting on the deck, conversing with the boatman who would sail the boat for us.

Men typically didn't interest me. Neither was I a misandrist, nor did I find them objects to be typically inclined to. Rather, I found most of them dumb and untrustworthy. And not materials capable of demanding  special attentions. Don't judge my sexual orientation. I'm perfectly straight.

The man before me was hot, sexy, dusky, and everything else that would make my colleagues and friends who were hopelessly romantic try hitting on him, and this was such an ideal opportunity, but all I did was sit at a distance with my glass of cranberry juice, typically uninterested.

The boat would start soon. The boatman walked over to the back of the boat, where their rooms were. And he turned to me.

" Hey fellow passenger! " , he smiled.

I returned a toothy smile.

Though, he didn't look like one who would stop the conversation henceforth.

" Loner by choice? Or loner by circumstances? " , he settled comfortably on the wooden settee that was fixed on the deck.

" By choice. " , I declared boastfully.
" And you? "

" I like travelling in groups. This one's for a change, so, yeah, by choice too. " , he kept smiling.
" Amar, by the way, my name. "

" Rohitha Varier. " , I nodded.

" Why is, such a beautiful woman, a loner by choice? "

I was typically startled. My stony image in the office hardly let men talk to me this freely I suppose, and hence it hit hard. I frowned big time.

" Why does every beautiful woman on earth have to commit? I hate being in love, and also I'm not a loner. I'm strong enough to handle my emotions. " , I blurted out altogether.

He kept staring at me, his smile intact.
I looked away.

The boat had started its journey.

We were six people on the boat altogether, we both, the boatman, his wife, the cook cum helper, and his wife.

Amar walked over to one side of the deck. I followed his movements, without a possible explanation though. He watched the waters, bending a bit. He was unusually tall.

I gaped at the palm groves.
Walking over and standing by his side.
He turned to me, and tilted his head.
" You said, you hate being in love.
Any reason for such adversaries? "

" Adversary? Why even? It's my personal opinion. And just as I said, I am not weak enough to need someone to share my..... "

" Look there...!  " , he suddenly clapped his hands in excitement, and I looked in the direction he pointed.

Though I gathered nothing at first, soon I realised, two palm trees stood together, in a way, as if one of them held the other by the waist.

I stared for sometime, and a smile unknowingly crossed my lips.

" The couple palms, they're called. " , the boatman raised his voice.
Amar clicked a picture. I forgot to, as I kept staring.

" Didn't that feel beautiful? " , he suddenly asked.

I looked at him.
" Nature's wonders, always feel beautiful. "

" Love is the best wonder. And... you purposefully deprive yourself from that? Why even? " , he walked away.

I stood speechless for sometime, and then, a disgust gripped me. Why was this man after my personal opinion? Did I even show any interest as to what he thought regarding life as a whole? 

I turned to him.
" You sound like a brand ambassador of love. Yours and my ideals might not match. Doesn't mean you've to provoke me. "

" Am I provoking? I'm just stating facts. And I would love to be the brand ambassador of love anyday. So many people would start living, if I could actually influence them to love.
Most of them are merely existing.
For example, you. "

Amar walked over to the back of the boat. And I kept standing.

Why couldn't I reply back even?

I had convinced both my cousins to never fall in love, and they had been happily following my advice, shunning the opposite gender. I strongly preached what I practiced, then why couldn't I answer him back? 

However, instead of staying away from him, I walked over to the backyard.

There, the helper and the wives were catching fish from the lake, and Amar was sitting next, blabbering something.

" Madam, sit. " , the wives called me beside them. Amar too beckoned me. I went and sat amidst them. They were catching tiny fish and putting them in jars.

" You have got such a beautiful life! Travelling through the lakes, feeling the breeze on your face, each and everyday... " , Amar looked at the wives.

They blushed.

The man said,
" Yes sir, you are very right. I can cook well, and I had asked them to stay at homes. But they'll always accompany us. I too think that their presence will make boarders, like madam, comfortable. Our wives love the lakes as much as we do. "

" It's evident on their faces. Their eyes glow. When you love what you're doing, your eyes won't have that dead fish stares. " , Amar threw the statement towards me. And I frowned again.

Without much of a reason.

Afternoon fell on Vembaned Lake.

I sat on the settee, with my cup of tea. Amar stood on the deck. The boat moved at a very slow pace.

" You look in your mid thirties. If you are so into love, why are you moving around lonely? " , I threw the question. Somehow, I was not at peace with all the needles this stranger had suddenly pricked into me.

He stared at me.

" Before I answer, you tell me something. Do you really feel, love is for the weak hearts?
Or do you know it well, that you aren't strong enough to carry someone else's emotional burdens, and hence try shunning love as a whole? "

I began scratching my leg..

I hardly knew the answer. Maybe, it was both the reasons combined together.

" I had seen my parents fall out of love when I was in my puberty. That had a deep impact upon me. I do not want my life to be ruined by love and unlove. " , I said after a long moment.

" So, that's it.
You have a sad past, and hence you don't allow feelings to take over you. You're afraid, and thus your senses prevent you from acknowledging the obvious.
But for yourself, have you never met someone who has rended your heart? "

" No. " , I got up, and went inside my room. I hated the discussion.

Also, I hated his deep brown orbs. I stood before the tiny mirror set in my room.

Did my eyes lack lustre? Did they look like dead fish? 

I was hating this journey. More, with a man's presence, who was hell bent on making me realize, how beautiful love was.

At around seven, the boat halted.

I came out of my room.

Amar stood in the middle of the deck, with hands in pocket, talking to the men on the boat.
He sensed my presence and turned to me.

" All the boats will remain tied next to this village."

I went over to the railings to see three more boats, and a lot of people around.

" We have a local dance program, arranged for you all, in the village. Lock your rooms and get down, if you wish. Otherwise you can stay on the boat. " , the helper man said.

" I'll stay. " , I said.

My eyes fell on Amar, who shrugged.
" Why even? "

" My choice. And you don't dare trynna influence me upon everything. I don't even know you. " , I reacted rudely.

The man had walked away. But Amar kept standing, crossing his arms across the chest.
" You look like an IT professional, who sits in closed cabins throughout life, with controlled temperatures, controlled tempers, and controlled wish fulfillments. For once in life, if you have stepped out, try breaking the norms. "

He walked away. And I felt a lump in my throat. No doubt, I hated this man. No one in my thirty two years of life, had dared challenge me upon every step.

However, half an hour later, I found myself sitting next to him, and with almost twenty more travellers around us.

The villagers, danced around a bonfire, while some of them sang along...

" I've come so far
From where I've began
It's the sound of the waves
The breeze on my skin
Wish that
I could be back
Back in my homeland singing
Thi thi thara thi thi thai
Thi thai thaka thai thai thom

Show me the road
And I'll be right there
I'll do, anything to feel
The wind in my hair
I'll go, far as it takes
And I won't even care
I'll sing thi thi thara thi thi thai
Thi thai thaka thai thai thom

Kuttanadan punchayile, thi thai thaka thei thei thom
Kochupenne kuyilale, thi ti thara thei thei
Kottuvenam kuzhal venam, kurava venam
Kottuvenam kuzhal venam, kurava venam.... "

My heart sinked, to depths unknown. The words hit me so hard, I couldn't even breathe. Until, Amar pulled me up, and unknowingly, I joined the troop, matching steps with them.

Something, I had never even imagined, I would love doing, in my life.... 

My eyes glittered, as he looked at me and smiled.
I could feel a sudden transformation.
I knew, he wasn't wrong when he said, I had a dead fish inside me. Which now, had suddenly started gasping for breath, and was being slowly put back into water.

Morning happened in the Vembaned Lake. I was an early riser, but Amar woke even earlier. When I tucked my shawl and walked out of the room, the boat had already taken off its anchor, and was on its way to the next stop.

Amar was sitting on the deck sofa, I went and sat beside him.
Awkwardly, I did not hate him anymore, because he had gifted me a time last night that was way out of syllabus for a girl like me.

He looked at me and smiled. His smile was infectious. My cousins said I had one of the best smiles on earth. They're yet to see his.

" Do you have hairclips? " , he asked out of the box.

" Yes, I do. Why? "

" Go and bring some. "

I followed his instruction, without complaining much.
I brought a few clips.

And then I realised, what he asked them for.

A few fragranced white flowers lay on his side, he picked them up, and slowly tucked them to my hair.
I sat motionless.
Because in the process, he had moved unusually close. My breath fastened, and I was awestruck at the development.
I never felt this way in men's presence, mostly because none of them ever had gotten this close to me.

But, did I hate it, when his breath touched my neck as he pinned the flowers? I gulped.

He moved away when the job was done. It didn't even feel he had done something not desirable on his part.
" I collected them from the village. I thought they'd look beautiful on you. "

I suddenly moved apart.
" There was literally no need. Thank you but I don't like flowers. "

I sounded as rude as possible. But it hardly had any impact on him.
He walked over to the railings, staring at the rising sun.

" Life tests us in all possible ways, Ms Varier. It's our duty to pass the tests with flying colours. Because, we've one life, and in all likelihood, even if we meet again in the next life, we won't remember what we missed in the last one.

God has gifted us with a huge lot of negative vibes - hatred, jealousy, anger, annoyance, guilt, apathy, fear. But he has gifted us with just one positive vibe. That's love.
Till you're alive, do anything but don't shun love. Don't be the unluckiest person on earth.

You're very beautiful Ms Varier! But you lack the glow that the boatmen's wives have got. Because they've accepted a loving partner, and a lovely life.
You do the best at your job, you might even consider your work the only passion you should be having...
But....

One day you'll realize, you were living in a box. And boxes aren't meant for the livings. It's for the deads.

Come out. Breathe. Love. Life is short. But love, lives on even after we die. "

I knew my heart was beating so fast, it felt as if, it would break open the chest wall, and fall out anytime soon. I didn't want to sit here anymore. I hated this strange man, so.....much!!!! 

At around 12 in the afternoon, the boats halted at a village that had a huge fish market.

Everyone got down, so did I.

My eyes unknowingly searched for Amar, and I found him soon.
He sat beside a very old lady who sold fish, and chatted with her. I went and stood at a distance, clicking pictures.. However my ears went over to their conversations.

" After my husband passed away... I have taken up this business. I don't like doing it much. But since we didn't have children, I have to do it for survival. Your uncle never blamed me for not giving him children. He loved me so much. Everyone should have a husband like him. My world was doomed when he passed away... "

" I understand amma..
And it's unfortunate that some people don't value the power of love, even when they're dying on the insides in its absence. ", Amar reciprocated.

I walked back towards the boat. I wasn't feeling well.

His presence, and his words were sickeningly overpowering. And I fought with myself, that I couldn't even fight his words and actions, that were so against my ideals.

Night fell on the Vembaned Lake.

We were returning. And the boat had halted against the same village, we had got down last night.

I slowly walked over to the deck after dinner. He stood holding the railing.

I breathed in deep. I knew I had fallen weak, in just two days of time. And though I still hated him, his ideals, his opinions that contradicted mine, I again and again walked over to him, to have my ideas badly bashed.

" Why do you speak of love so much? When you yourself.....  " , I realised, I knew nothing about him till now. Neither could I judge if he had some lucky girl he loved, in life.
Though, his features screamed, like... he was the most romantic human on earth.

He smiled.

" Just like you, I had seen my parents fall out of love. But I had soon realised, how, none of them remained happy for the rest of their lives. I grew up with my appa. He worked day and night, silently. But never forgot my amma. She was the one who had walked away from his life. From our lives. But when I met him at eighteen, I knew she had led a terribly loveless life till date.

Have you ever asked... either of your parents, if they missed each other, after falling out of love? "

I remained silent. I hadn't.
I was afraid mostly. I rather took the silence of my amma as a signal, as to how terrible love could be.

" Love is endless. And if it's chosen over anything else, like hatred, ego, anger, jealousy, life will be beautiful. Extremely beautiful. "

I stared at him for a long time after this.

I wondered, why, literally why, I had shunned the best emotion on earth till date. Indeed, the mere mention of love, several times over the past two days, had changed my outlook towards life as a whole. I felt fresher, taller... And stronger.

If, a girl, literally,  got a man in life, like the one standing before me, who had such a beautiful insight into life, would it be really difficult to bear the burden of his emotions? Was I really sufficient to shelter all of mine in my heart alone? If yes, why did his presence, feel so beautiful? 

The night passed by, as one of the most memorable nights of my life.

Most of the time, it was he  who talked, coherent, incoherent, and I listened.

However, I could not really ask him, if he had someone in life.
A fear, of a 'yes', gripped me, and startled me, even more.
I only stared at him, sometimes without blinking. Occasionally, the hormones inside me, rose to levels that almost provoked  me to grab his face, and plop a kiss on his lips. In vain though, I could never bring it into effect.

For the first time in thirty two years, I knew what 'love' felt like, even if, momentarily. And I wondered, if I was the same human, who had hated, or claimed to hate being in love. I realised, I was living under a facade, a lie. I desired something else, and chose something. I was a loner by circumstances, and not by choice.

Sun rose again, the first rays, after a sleepless night, hit the deck. And my heart basked in the morning light, as I time and again threw glances at him beside me.

The journey back to Alleppey, looked even more divine. It seemed as if my eyes have been replaced by a heavenly pair.... 

Finally, the boat anchored on the banks of Alleppey...
From where I had begun my journey...from a loveless woman, to a one who craved for love at the moment..

I looked at him..

He walked ahead of me, and helped me cross the boats, holding my hand.
His touch and, his smile sent ripples down my skin.

No, I couldn't contain this within myself anymore. I....couldn't..

We stood face to face, as we got down. We were supposed to walk over to the cars that respectively stood for us. He nodded.

" So, Ms Varier....
Fall in love, as soon as possible.
That's the parting advice on my side. "

I knew, he was not into me, as I was into him. That was evident. But, was I not strong enough to just speak out to him, for once...? 

" What if I say, I'm already in love?
What if I ask you to hold my hand? Will that sound, stupid? " , I spoke, in a gust.

The smile, on his face, blew off. Instantly.

_______

Two years later :

' Arnav and Sonakshi....

You know what? Today, whatever you are facing, might sound like the biggest problems two humans on earth can face.

But trust me, you are luckier than those, who don't even have the one they loved, beside them.
RJ Rohitha, advices you only one thing in life. Talk to each other, till there's time. Love can heal. Only, love can. "

I took off the headset.

And fell back on the chair.

Yes, I realised, I hated my corporate life more than anything else on earth. My life had been a lie, till I had set out on a boat ride, on the Vembaned Lake, in Alleppey, two years back.

I had resigned within a month after that.

I had earned enough till then, to sit down, and......write.

I began writing a novel.

Of a girl, who had denied the best emotions on earth, till he met a man, who had changed the purpose of her existence, at a go.

The novel went over to become a bestseller. Stamping my position as one of the best romantic authors in the county, with two more novels I wrote within a span of three months.

My inspiration, Mr Amar Bhasin, sat beside me, proof reading each and every line, till he could.

And when he couldn't, with the oxygen pipes fit to his nose, he would just listen, as I sat beside him, and read out every line.

When I met Amar, he was suffering from the end stage of Adenocarcinoma of the Pancreas..
It was his last trip, alone, introspecting... and in the process, influencing as many people in his lifetime, to love... till the last breath.
He had a huge number of people in his life, who loved him, as much, or even more than me. And he returned the love to all of them, till he lived...

The six more months he stayed in my life, I only grew into a better person.
I took in every positive vibe from him, so that they lived on in me, forever, even after his departure.

Amar left me, a year and a half back...

It would be a lie, if I say I wasn't devastated....

But I stood up, because that's what was the promise he had taken from me on his death bed.

He had taken one more promise, to love again, and to let people in my life, love.... 

The former wasn't possible for me. But, the later was.

I joined the biggest radio station in the country when they asked for RJs, thanks to my voice, and his words.

Millions of people have found love through my words, and my stories.

I don't know if I should be thankful to god, because he has given me the opportunity to make people smile, or I should complain to him for forever leaving me devoid of love.. myself.

But yes, I was free of the curse of being loveless.

My heart was filled with love, though my love wasn't with me, except for a huge wall to wall photograph that glowed before me, in my studio...

Amar, I miss you........

I forever, will, till I find you in my next life. I promise, I'll recognise you...

Such is the power of....

'Amore'.