“You should be begging for her forgiveness, not mine.” I gestured toward my mother.

“I know, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last few hours,” he explained.  I looked to my mother.  Her expression no longer was filled with the seething anger I was now experiencing. 

Instead, she looked tired, resigned.  My heart sank a little further as I realized what that meant.

“You’ve already forgiven him?  Already?” I repeated incredulously.  How could she get over it so easily?

“Joey, there’s a lot you don’t know…” she started.  I raised my eyebrow, urging her to continue.  “Honey, we’d been fighting for the past… year or so now.  We weren’t on good terms, not at all.  We were hardly even together.”

I felt like I had been punched square in the chest.  All of this was new information to me; neither of them had ever so much as hinted that things hadn’t been okay between them, much less that they had practically been separated. 

What else had they neglected to tell me?  What else was I going to discover on this nightmare of a night?

“That’s why you’re never home, isn’t it?  Too busy hanging out with someone else?” I shot at my father.  He just nodded, eyes to the ground, ashamed.  Good.  My entire body felt stiff. 

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.  “Now what?”

“I’m gonna be home for a while,” he said.  “Try to work things out with your mother and see if we can fix everything that’s happened between us.”

I stared at him, processing, before nodding slowly.  As mad as I was at both of them for leaving me out of the loop and at my dad for cheating, I couldn’t help but feel relieved at his words.  I loved both of my parents, and didn’t want them to get divorced. 

I was a firm believer in doing everything you could to make it work with the person you were with, and would have been even more upset if I had found out they were just going to call it quits without really trying.

A small part of me was also happy that this meant my dad would be around more now, which irritated me.  I wanted to hate him.  However, despite his shameful behavior lately, he had always been a good father to me, and I missed him when he was gone.  I still had a lot of processing to do, but for now, I supposed this was as good as it was going to get.

“Okay,” I said simply, my hard stare softening slightly.

“Okay?” my dad repeated, hoping I really meant it.

“I said okay,” I said irritably.  Obviously this was going to take me a while to get over.  He stepped forward and reached out his arms, attempting to hug me.  I allowed him to wrap his arms around my shoulders, but didn’t respond to his touch. 

I stood there, unyielding, arms crossed firmly over my chest until he released me and gave me a sad look.  Looking at my mother, I saw that she had a similar expression on her face.

With that, they both exited my room, leaving me standing planted to the floor, still trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened.  Now that they were gone, my brave, strong attitude seemed to be crumbling. 

How could my dad do that to my mom?  To me?  It was so unlike him, so unexpected, that I still didn’t believe it was real. 

I needed Harry.

Without a second thought, I darted out of my room and ran down the stairs, and out the front door, not even bothering to tell my parents where I was going.  They had just dropped a bomb on me; I at least deserved to be able to get some space from them without questions. 

I practically sprinted down the sidewalk, the dark street illuminated by the street lamps that were spread along the road. 

The ground seemed to swim beneath me, cement heaving beneath my feet, threatening to bring me down.  I focused on my feet hitting the pavement, trying to keep them at a steady rhythm as I hurried to the only place I could think of to comfort me. 

Within seconds, I was in front of Harry’s house, pleased to discover that he was sitting stiffly on his front porch, clearly expecting me to show up.  While everything in my sight continued to shift unsteadily, Harry came in clear and focused, like a beacon.  His knees were bouncing up and down anxiously before he saw me, standing up immediately and rushing toward me when he did. 

Running to him, I crashed into his chest, flinging my arms around his neck and burying my face against his soft skin.  His arms held onto me tightly.  He didn’t speak as I started crying again, merely stroked his hand through my hair, repeating the soothing gesture from earlier.

“Shh, shhhh,” he cooed in my ear.  “It’s okay, babe.”

I don’t know what I did to deserve such an amazing boy in my life, but I was so thankful for it right now.  Him holding me tightly and whispering comforting things in my ear were the only thing keeping me sane right now.  He slowly rocked me back and forth, never loosening his grip on me as my tears fell onto his shirt, wetting the fabric.

How long we stood there, holding each other in the dark, I don’t know.  It could have been days or it could have only been seconds, but all I wanted to think about was Harry.  Not my mom, not my dad, not his affair, not their secrets.  Only Harry.  The only person I trusted.

Finally, I pulled back from him, wiping my eyes lazily, surely smearing whatever was left of my make up across my face.  I didn’t care.  Sniffling, I smiled sadly up at Harry.  His green eyes were laden with concern as he raised his hands to my face, thumbs wiping away whatever I hadn’t managed to clear from my skin.

“Thank you, Harry,” I said quietly.  He nodded instantly.

“Of course, Joey, I’m always here for you,” he said.  God he was perfect. 

“Can we go inside?” I asked, not ready to go home yet.

I nodded, sliding his hands down my arms from my face, linking one of his hands in mine to lead me into his house.  Once we entered the front door, he pressed his index finger to his lips, indicating I should be quiet. 

My eyebrows knit together in confusion, but I nodded all the same, not speaking.  He then led me up the stairs to his room, where he shut the door and gave me a small smile.

“I figured you didn’t want to deal with my mom right now,” he explained.  Gratitude rushed through me.  As wonderful as his mom was, I was in no condition to have a casual conversation with her. 

“Thanks.”

He stepped closer to me, pushing my hair back from my face with both hands.  “Are you okay?” he asked gently. 

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.  I paused.  “My dad had an affair.”

His jaw slacked before he wiped the surprise from his face.  “I’m sorry, Joey,” he said, searching for the right words to say.  “I can’t imagine how… hard this must be for you.”

I raised my hands to grip his forearms, tracing my thumbs along his skin.  “I don’t know what to do, really.  They’re gonna try and work things out but… how do I just forget about that?”

“You don’t,” he said simply.  “That’s not something you forget, but maybe, eventually, you can forgive him.”  He wasn’t judging or trying to convince me of anything, merely stating what he would try to do.  I nodded slowly, agreeing with him.

“It’s gonna take a long time,” I said.  He leaned forward to kiss my forehead softly before pulling back again.

“I know, babe, I’m so sorry.”  The sincerity was clear in his voice, and just as obvious in his gaze that met mine. 

“I’m just so happy I have you,” I told him.  One corner of his mouth quirked up in a sad smile.

“You’ll always have me,” he said.  I pulled my lips into my mouth before releasing them slowly.  Leaning forward, I gave him a small kiss before burying my head in his chest again, hugging him to me.  His arms cradled around me once more, running soothing patterns up and down my back. 

At some point, we moved to Harry’s bed.  I lay on my side, arm tucked up under my head as Harry lay behind me, chest pressed to my back with his arm looped around my waist, holding me to him.  Every few minutes he would press a soft kiss to the back of my neck, whispering reassuring things in my ear and telling me he loved me, it would be okay, it would work out. 

I didn’t say anything; I was stuck in my own head, turbulent thoughts crashing into each other more and more violently the more I thought about it.  Only Harry was able to pull me back, his soothing words and touches silencing the demons in my head and bringing me back to him. 

I couldn’t have asked for anything better, and I had never felt so loved or cared for.  He was the perfect boyfriend, there for me in every way imaginable and more.  The warmth from his body was comforting, and what couldn’t be reached by his body heat was warmed by his words and actions.  He was slowly melting the ice that had formed over my heart, bit by bit until it felt like it was radiating from his attention and care. 

Love wasn’t a strong enough word for what I felt for him.  He was my only source of comfort, my only light on this dark day that had started out so perfectly, only to be tainted by my parents.  The moments we had shared, however, couldn’t be touched by even that.  Even now, desperately dejected from what had happened, I felt happy being with Harry. 

It was like he had the other half of my soul, connecting securely to mine and completing me in every way possible, putting me back together piece by piece.  There was nothing I could say to express this to him, no matter how desperately I tried, and I would be so eternally grateful to him for these moments for the rest of my life.