It had been a week since I got home, and I was out for dinner with my dad to celebrate both my birthday and my exam results before I went off to uni in a few weeks. He had been unusually perky recently, and it had made all the difference in our relationship. I had started to trust him again.

Which is why, at this dinner, I had decided to tell him my biggest secret.

"Dad?" I started. "Can I tell you something?"

He nodded instantly, awaiting my words between a bite of pasta.

"I'm gay, Dad. Or, lesbian. You know, same thing I guess." I spoke quickly and quietly, not really believing it myself as I finally confessed this to him.

"Oh. Thank you for telling me." He was oddly chill about it. I was expecting a negative reaction, but instead, he took my hand in his, and reassured me that he would always love me.

"When you were born, I made a promise to you. I held you in my arms, and I swore to love you, as you are, for as long as you are mine. I would never go against that, May. Nothing could ever take my love away from you."

Emotion cast over my eyes, blurring my vision as I tried to wipe them. This had gone so well. I decided to just tell him the other part too. This was the scariest, and my hands both quivered as I mustered up the courage to finally whisper.

"I'm also non-binary. I use they/them pronouns and... I'd like to go by Mayson instead of just May."

I heard a quiet gasp, and I was expecting to look up to see rage. However, when I did look up, I saw nothing but love in his eyes.

"I love you, Mayson."

This broke me. I started to cry, tears falling onto my chips as I tried to catch them with my tongue.

"Now it's my turn." I looked up at his regretful expression, and started to tell him to stop. Tell him that he didn't have anything to admit. But he did. And he admitted it all.

"I have been really struggling since your mum passed. That isn't an excuse. It brought up an old side of me that I hoped you wouldn't remember or see again."

He started to cry himself, and I gently swiped the back of his hand with my thumb, urging him to continue.

"I hurt you. I can't ever take that back, and I am so, so sorry May... son." Then, the most shocking part of the entire evening. "I'm getting help. I started therapy a week before you came back. I know I have to be better."

After an emotional, but necessary, conversation with my dad, I almost regretted once again my decision to move away for uni. I sat on my bed with Aislynn, quietly conversing with her.

"It's not too far, you could just commute every day." She suggested. "Would be cheaper too."

I nodded along hesitantly. "True, but travel costs are insane. I think I just need to tough it out. He'll be fine alone right?"

She nodded, before reassuring me, "It isn't your responsibility to ensure that. He is an adult."

I half-smiled at her reply before getting up, zipping up the final suitcase that I had packed for Uni.

"I'm going."

My dad heaved the final bag upstairs into the second floor flat. I had a roommate, but I hadn't met them yet. I was hoping they'd show up when my dad was here and have a parent with them too to make things less awkward, but it was becoming less and less likely.

"You know, Mayson?" My dad said, making me look up at him. "Your mum would be so proud of you right now. I hope you know she'd have accepted you in a heartbeat."

I nodded appreciatively at his comment, not trusting myself to speak at the mention of mum. It was just shy of two and a half months since her passing, which already felt too long. Any time felt too long, obviously, but that was almost a quarter of a year without her already. This was a huge milestone, and I needed my mum. Or I thought I would have. But here was my dad, doing an excellent job of parenting.

I could tell it was tearing him apart to be leaving me here, and I knew why. Much like I didn't trust him alone, he didn't trust himself alone. He was terrified that he would relapse after hitting the month milestone. But I reminded him of before his first relapse. How strong he was back when I was a kid and how relapses are just little set backs.

It's similar to my self harm in that way.

I knew I shouldn't do it, but a relapse is a small set back and they happened sometimes. I always felt awful after, but then did it again. It created a cycle of addiction, and, as much as I hated to admit this, that addiction gave me a better understanding of my dad.

The flat we had could be used for four, but somehow the demand for this flat wasn't high enough so there was only two of us. This was a relief to me, I found it easier to get along with one other person rather than three. I guessed it was because it was still quite far from the Uni, but I didn't mind that. It was just one bus ride away. The flat had a communal area with a kitchen and living room, a shared bathroom, and two bedrooms that both had trundle beds. The beds meant that Aislynn could stay, even though she wasn't enrolled in this uni. Or any uni for that matter. The style was very plain; all light wood and cream walls and white bedding. Perfect for adding posters for a pop of colour.

"Are you gonna be fine? I can stay the night if you want." My dad offered, sticking his shoes back on.

"I think I'll be okay." I confirmed, kind of wanting him to leave so that Aislynn could come up and settle in with me.

"Alright. Goodbye, honey." He stood up, wrapping me in a tight hug before stepping out of the door. "Call me whenever. Call me lots! Love you, bye!"

I blew him a kiss and shut the door behind him, slumping down into the worn out couch and texting Aislynn to come up.

At the next knock on the door, I went and answered it expecting to find Aislynn. However, I opened it to see a gorgeous, dark-skinned person about my age with their hair in neat braids that had been pulled into a loose bun-type style. Their brown eyes widened with hope, and I stepped aside.

"Mayson, I assume?" They spoke, their voice cracking as they raised their pitch at the end of the question, and I could only nod. Their presence made me uneasy, flushed, but not uncomfortable. "Hi! I'm Althea."

"Hi. Are you my flatmate?" I asked, forcing out the words in an almost robotic way.

"Think so." They smiled softly, walking in with just one suitcase.

Aislynn came in just behind them, and instantly slid into our new room without directions. I cursed her internally for not coming out to make conversation, but I understood it.

We sat on opposite ends of the couch, staring at the same mark on the wall in silence.

"So..." They started. "Pronouns?"

I glanced up, mildly impressed that this was the first question they asked.

"They/them, thank you for asking." I froze unsure of what to do next before remembering what is polite. "And you?"

"Just she/her is fine. I don't mine a wee they/them now and again, though. And most people call me Thea, no Al."

"Alright Thea no Al." I spoke, accidentally joking about her name before I could judge her character properly. Luckily she appreciated my dry dad humour, and chuckled quietly.

"You seem chill already." They spoke, looking me up and down with a hint in their eyes that lit me on fire.

"Thank you. Oh, that reminds me, is it okay if my girlfriend comes over sometimes?" I asked her, casually inserting that information to help me gauge her tone.

She looked slightly taken aback, but was instant with her response. "Yep! I'd like to meet her at some point, maybe make some easy friends."

"Yeah sure! That sounds amazing. I'll check with her when works." She nodded at that, pulling out her phone and ending the conversation.

I found out later that she was majoring in the same thing as me: maths. It had to be maths. I just couldn't survive without my numbers and my formulae. This commonality meant that we'd have a friend in our main class, which was a huge bonus.

"Ready for Freshers Week?" She asked me the next day as we walked through one of the courtyards to where we could get our matriculation photos done. She had carefully applied flicks of shimmery teal eyeliner, which really popped against her dark eyes and made them stand out. Her braids were in their usual pulled back style, with one down on either side to frame her face.

"No." I replied, kicking a stone along the path as I prepared to deal with unorganised queues of newly adult men. Ugh. Just thinking about it was a nightmare.

"You okay?" Thea asked, slowing her pace so that she could glance up at me properly. Concern filled her expression, and that surprised me. We were newly friends, and for her to already care about me that much was almost stranger than the fact I had a friend in the first place. I wasn't one to put myself out there, so I wasn't at all popular. I was mostly okay with that, but I was grateful for Aislynn on the days I felt lonely.

I nodded, blinking away my surprise. She didn't seem to believe me, her gaze lingering slightly linger before dropping back onto the path.

"I'm going drinking tonight. Coming? My other pals are going." Thea asked me as we got into the back of one of two queues.

Perhaps it was the noise, or the warmth, or the mention of drinking that did it, but my decline was harsh. Too harsh for a kind offer like the one she gave me. She looked hurt, and only nodded. Nice one, Mayson. I mentally face-palmed, but didn't have a chance to apologise as I was called forward to take my picture.

I waited up for her coming home, partially so I could apologise, but selfishly also for my own peace of mind that she made it home safely.

"What's going on, Mayson?" Aislynn asked, waking me up. I sat up from the couch with a groan and checked the clock that hung above the small television, reading that it was 5 am. Fuck.

"Is Thea back?" Her face contorted with surprise at my panicked tone, before she quickly nodded and gestured to the blanket that was over me. Thea had given me it. This surprised me, how was she so gentle when she was presumably drunk? A warm, fuzzy feeling filled my stomach, but I forced it down and focused on the similar sensations that the blanket offered my skin. With a stretch, I got onto my feet, and followed Aislynn to our bed.

Later that morning a groggy Thea stumbled out of her bedroom as I poured myself a glass of chocolate milk. "Want some?" I asked, chuckling to myself as she nodded, shielding her eyes from the light. Hungover much. "Good night?"

She nodded again, wiping away the chocolate mustache that she was left with after sipping her drink. "Some guy tried shit with me but I handled it." She brushed over her bruised knuckles, my eyes widening as I saw how swolen they were.

"Shit, Thea." I grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer and wrapped a fresh towel around it, tensing up at the feeling of the towel before powering through and handing it to her.

"Thanks." I noticed the way she avoided touching my hands as I passed her it, and I appreciated the concern. I just assumed she'd figured out my aversion to physical contact or something.

I still felt awful about my tone from yesterday, and the realisation that I could have been there to stop any men making her uncomfortable amplified my concern. "I want to apologise."

She almost laughed, a confused expression on her face. "For what?"

I shrugged. "My tone when you asked if I wanted to join."

"That's perfectly, dude. A no is a no no matter the tone." She spoke, smirking at her own words. "Check out my rhyming. I'm a bloody poet."

"And you know it." I confirmed with a little salute.

I was definitely glad I had decided to move here after all.