Months had passed since the drama surrounding my father and brother's deaths ended. The time that had passed had not healed the wounds entirely, but it was getting better. With every day, I found a gradual increase in my overall sense of peace. I was yet to find happiness, but that was a long way off. I wasn't sure when I'd finally be ready to move on and was in no rush to find out.

I'd gone through a lot of their possessions at the house, giving away a fair amount of things I could not use or was not interested in. Items like clothes, car magazines, and books. I was always careful and checked the items to ensure that there wasn't something hidden inside of them. It was not beyond my father or Stephen to do something that crazy.

The house seemed emptier, lonelier. I didn't say a word about it to anyone in the pack. If I did, it was guaranteed that they'd say that there was a simple solution. I was not ready for a mate, and I was still trying to figure out what, if anything, I wanted from Konrad.

His determination to win me over was admirable, I suppose. Some could see it as a huge red flag, but there was an odd kind of respect that Konrad gave. He was pushy in the beginning, but that was only because he had his own pack breathing down his neck about the coup and finding a mate of his own. Now that things had settled, he'd backed off. I hadn't heard from him since the day that Brian tried to kill me.

I didn't want to think about that part of my life. I also didn't want to think about Konrad or my love life. All I wanted was to clear out the last of the unwanted things in the house. I still had to deal with the pack house, which I was doing in the hours after a meeting, but it was a slow process. It also didn't help that this Alpha had several Betas, all of them being cranky old men that had strong opinions. The only thing that I could do to get peace and quiet from their constant nattering was to tell them to go away and have a Beta meeting. Then they'd leave to discuss their issues.

Of course, that led to them returning with one clear path for what they wanted or thought was suitable for the pack. If I complained that they were annoying, I'd be told that taking a mate would solve my problem. A mate of an Alpha would act as a Beta until their eldest child was old enough to take on the role. So that meant that to get a bit of tranquility from opinionated old men, I had to find a mate, mark him as mine, place him as Beta, and then get busy with him. The busy part sounded like fun, but the rest of it did not.

Flicking the fob on the car, I picked up the last of the boxes and trudged into the pack house. Alec looked at me with a curious smile as I dumped it on the bar.

"It feels weird, right?"

"I know, but understand that this is what dad and Stephen would want. This is the last of Stephen's clothes. If you want anything, you'd better get in before Joey arrives."

Alec rolled his eyes and opened the flaps of the box. He began pulling out clothes, remembering when he saw Stephen wearing them.

"The pain never leaves," he murmured softly.

"But it is the life that we lead as a pack."

"I don't think I could live as one of the lost wolves."

I nodded. A lost wolf was a term used for a shifter wolf that was not a member of a pack. There was always a choice in their world, and many chose not to be a part of this life. They lived, worked, chose mates as they pleased, and had children when they wanted. They were bound to the law of their leaders but not to pack law. Many saw membership in a pack to be essential and protective. To not be a part of a large family was to be lost in the eyes of many.

"Pray that you never have to find out," Gus said dramatically as he walked out of the restroom. "But it could be our future because our illustrious leader seems to think that she's an exception and that she doesn't have to listen to her Betas."

I rolled my eyes, amusing Alec.

"And before you ask, yes, we used to harass Stephen about it, just like we used to with Anders. It is the joy of being in a leadership role."

Gus leaned on the counter, giving me his best firm stare.

"How am I going to find a worthy mate when no male is interested in subservience to a female Alpha?"

I glanced at Alec, who was still grinning. He'd closed the box, leaning on it with a huge smirk. It was the same old argument between me and my Betas. At the end of the heated meeting, I'd spend hours at the bar, complaining while getting drunk.

"Oh shut up, you. You're supposed to be on my side."

Alec held up his hands as he backed away.

"If I could help you, I would, but you're just not my type. You know, female."

I sighed as I sat on the stool. There would be an answer out there. It dawned on me that there was one male who could give me what I wanted. The problem was that I didn't know if Konrad would accept a subservient role after being an Alpha of his pack. I was almost positive that he would not lower himself in any way, regardless of what he wanted from me.

Alec placed a drink on the counter in front of me.

"He's out there somewhere. All you need to do is open yourself up to the possibility that he actually exists and is willing to be subservient."

"You are delusional, and I'm not an idiot. I know what will happen. Someone will say yes to becoming my mate, then I'll turn my back, and surprise, surprise, there will be a new Alpha because, apparently, a female is not good enough for the job. Back to Omega, I go."

"Not a Beta?"

"Nooo," I said with a mocking grin. "See, the son that I have will become Beta. Any daughters will be nothing more than a means to create strong ties with another clan."

"Your father wanted the best for you, Megan, and to be fair, Konrad is gorgeous."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. My father didn't know whatmy taste in men was like, and he wasn't about to give me a choice either. Hemight have thought arranging our pairing would work out well, but that didn'tmean it would have. For all he knew, it could have been a complete nightmare.