Amberclaw sighed.

The battle had ended, with the Clan cats eventually overpowering Dark and his rogues, but for Amberclaw, the battle was still warring in her heart, a bloody battlefield of fallen cats, unwise decisions and stress.

She hated it.

She was done with it.

She was done with everything.

Guilt tore at her, ripping her apart from the inside, tearing at her spirit, leaving no purpose left for her. She had felt bored, once. She had felt unneeded and useless, she had wanted, craved, responsibility.

Now, she hated it. She despised it. It was agony, knowing she could've saved a whole cat but had cursed that cat to die with a single flick of her tail, with a single decision.

One decision.

She had cursed a cat to die, a cat to be severely injured, close to death, and saved one cat from the probability of death.

Was it worth it?

Amberclaw hadn't chosen to save her family, but her friend. Did that make her a good cat? She had to have saved someone, but in hindsight, was Echoflight the best choice?

I don't know anymore. I felt useless for so long, but upon having responsibility, I shied from it. Is responsibility good after all?

A minute's pause, while Amberclaw thought about everything.

I'm a horrible cat.

Amberclaw stood up from her resting place, heading into the medicine den. Luckystar was lying, still, several wounds still bleeding heavily.

I caused that to happen.

Upon reflecting on her actions, Amberclaw realized it had been possible to save another cat. Maybe not all three from wounds, but to save Luckystar from losing lives. Maybe she could've saved all of them, if she'd been stronger, smarter. Maybe if her instincts had been quicker, if she had reacted faster.

Amberclaw couldn't live with her frustration anymore.

Underneath all that though, some part of her understood. Some unconscious part of her knew that she had made a difficult decision, and no one was going to judge her for it. Only thing was, her brain didn't want to listen to it.

Help me, StarClan. Send guidance my way. Please.

But no help came, and grief nibbled away at her already shattered spirit, stealing the last traces of what made Amberclaw Amberclaw.

very short but ya

one more (epilogue) then this series is done