After the two finish crying in each other's arms, they both grow awkward, their eyes red and their noses still sniffling. Neither of them knows what to do next except lie there on Takemichi's bed, staring up at the ceiling. The lights are still on. They just lie there like that for a while before Takemichi finally speaks.

"If Baji and Chifuyu find out we hugged each other and cried like that, they'd laugh their asses off at us."

"Probably. Chifuyu would be the one laughing the loudest right in my face."

Kazutora chuckles as he replies.

In truth, both of them know the opposite would happen - they would worry about them instead.

"You actually came to see me because of something, didn't you?"

Kazutora stiffens slightly when he hears that. But in the end, the reason he comes here is because he wants to ask Takemichi directly. Their relationship should be built on honesty. And if the other person doesn't want to talk, then he should respect that too.

"Takemichi... you, Baji, and Chifuyu are hiding something from me, aren't you?"

The room falls silent. Kazutora doesn't look at Takemichi, and he knows Takemichi isn't turning to look at him either.

Kazutora hesitates before continuing.

"If you don't want to say it, that's fine. Sorry... I just... when I see you three sharing a secret and I... I'm the only one who doesn't know... I..."

He can't finish his sentence. Because he's afraid that if he says it out loud, it will sound like he's blaming them. And what right does he have to blame them? He's the one who hurts them the most. For a moment, Kazutora wants to back down. His emotions are getting the better of him, and it feels like he's only putting pressure on Takemichi.

"There is a secret. If I tell you, can you promise you won't tell anyone else?"

Takemichi answers in an unexpectedly light tone. He turns to look at Kazutora just as Kazutora turns toward him in surprise. Takemichi raises his pinky finger in a silent promise.

"Promise me."

Their little fingers hook together, sealing the pact. Only then does Takemichi smile faintly and turn slightly toward him.

"I come from the future, Kazutora. From twelve years ahead."

Kazutora's eyes widen in shock. Then Takemichi continues, explaining everything the same way he once told Chifuyu. And as Kazutora listens, each word feels like something out of a dream, so unreal it almost doesn't feel real at all.

But no matter how unbelievable it sounds, if Takemichi says it, then it must be true. And everything lines up perfectly with the questions Kazutora has been carrying.

"I've seen so many terrible futures. I've gone back so many times. I... honestly don't even know how to explain it. I never want to become who I am right now, but I can't escape it either. All I want is to live happily with everyone. I never once imagined I'd turn into this kind of person on this journey. Sometimes when I look at myself... it feels like I've lost who I am."

These are the thoughts Takemichi keeps buried deep in his heart. Even he doesn't know why he's telling Kazutora now. Maybe it's simply because the weight has become too much for him to carry alone.

Kazutora grabs Takemichi's hand and pulls him into a tight embrace. His already reddened eyes begin to fill with tears again.

His hatred really does bring misfortune to the people he loves. His hatred really does make him lose everything. And he almost repeats that same mistake again.

Sin piling upon sin. Pain piling upon pain.

Kazutora holds Takemichi's hand not just because he feels sorry for this strong, resilient boy... but because he feels guilty. Guilty toward Takemichi, toward Baji, toward Mikey, and toward Toman.

He holds on because he wants proof that he himself has been saved too. Saved from that personal hell.

Takemichi shifts closer and gently rubs his back, comforting him.

"It's already in the past, Kazutora. I don't tell you because I'm afraid you'd blame yourself for those things. I never want you to feel left out like that. Honestly, I didn't even plan to let Baji know either. But back when you tried to sacrifice me... Baji almost follows you. Luckily Chifuyu tells him about my time travel, and that's the only thing that stops him."

"I'm sorry, Takemichi... I..."

Kazutora's voice breaks into sobs.

"Idiot. It's already over. Besides, you already pay for what you do. In the future, you're actually really cool, you know? You even saved my life once. When I'm at my lowest, you remind me of Toman's spirit, and that helps me stand back up again. And Kazutora... you love Toman so much. You care about Mikey a lot too. You're the one who helps me find him when he falls into darkness."

"At that time, nobody wants me to go looking for him... but you're the only one who refuses to give up on Mikey. You're the one who tells me Mikey hasn't changed at all. He just doesn't want everyone to see his weakness, so he tries to carry everything by himself. That's not the life Mikey chooses."

"And because of that... I get another chance to start over again."

Takemichi wants, at least a little, to ease Kazutora's pain. The Kazutora of that future truly inherits Baji's will—never abandoning his friends no matter what. The more Takemichi gets to know him later on, the more he comes to cherish him.

Kazutora's heartbeat has always moved in rhythm with everyone in Toman.

He has always been one of the people who built Toman from the very beginning.

"So... just like me... just like you... can we try to let go of the past?"

"From now on, we just live for the present. And we keep moving toward the future."

Takemichi smiles, a light, relieved smile. Just saying that much already feels like setting down part of the weight on his chest. Even if it's only a small piece of the chaos he carries... just that little bit is enough to make it feel easier for him to breathe.

Kazutora looks at the person smiling gently as he tries to comfort him. He feels soothed... but it also hurts—really hurts. The more he understands what Takemichi endures and the weight of the responsibilities he carries, the more his heart aches with a painful kind of tenderness.

Kazutora presses a soft kiss against the back of Takemichi's hand, careful and reverent, as if handling something precious. Takemichi flinches slightly in surprise, yet he finds himself drawn in when he sees his own reflection in Kazutora's sand-colored eyes. There is something bright there, something warm... and yet it also feels like an invisible hand is tightening around his heart.

"Takemichi..."

Kazutora says his name like he has something he wants to say, but the words never come out. It is the saddest tone he has ever used to call him.

"Hm?" Takemichi answers softly, quieter than his own breath.

"It's nothing... I just... wanna hold you while we sleep. Is that okay?"

Takemichi gives him a suspicious look before joking back.

"What's the fun in two guys cuddling to sleep? That's weird."

"So, you gonna let me or not?" Kazutora replies in his usual rough, delinquent tone.

"Get on the bed and turn off the lights, idiot." If he wants to act like a delinquent, Takemichi can play that game too.

Kazutora takes that as a yes. Someone looks very satisfied as he goes to switch off the main light, leaving only the night lamp on. Then he immediately wraps an arm around Takemichi from behind and falls asleep holding him.

On a cold night like this, having someone to warm your heart like this surely promises a good night's sleep. Maybe even a beautiful dream.

In that dream, he walks along a sunlit golden beach with the person he loves. They hold hands as they watch the sunrise... or maybe the sunset.

Either one is fine.

Because as long as that person is there, every scenery becomes the most beautiful scenery in the world.

Kazutora smiles faintly before silent tears begin to fall, dissolving into the darkness of the night, while the person in his arms slowly drifts into deep sleep - unable to feel the love he holds back.

But maybe that is for the best.

He will not let Takemichi know about his feelings.

Because from now on, he no longer allows himself to long for the day the person he loves might discover his heart. He no longer dares to dream of the day those feelings might be returned.

He already owes Takemichi so much...

How can he still be greedy enough to dream of that day?

Takemichi deserves his own happiness.

And that happiness is not with him.

But no matter what...

He will still love him.

He will do everything for him.

He will give him everything he has.

And yet Kazutora is truly in pain, because deep down he knows the one thing he is wishing for—

—is that tonight's dream will last forever.

A new day begins. Takemichi sleeps more soundly than usual, so he wakes up very early. He opens his eyes to find himself still wrapped in Kazutora's arms, the guy really holds him all night long. Doesn't he get sore at all?

Seeing Kazutora still fast asleep, Takemichi quietly slips out of bed and tiptoes to the bathroom to wash up. By the time he finishes and comes back out, Kazutora is already sitting on the bed in a half-awake daze. His hair - the one Chifuyu always teases him about, saying it looks like a bunch of bananas - is now completely messy and sticking out everywhere.

The sight almost makes Takemichi laugh. No matter how handsome someone is, mornings always make them look a little less perfect. Right now Kazutora just looks adorably clueless.

After a good night's sleep, both of them feel noticeably better. Kazutora doesn't stay for breakfast at Takemichi's place, he changes his clothes and leaves right away. Still, there is something about him that feels... off.

Before leaving, Kazutora asks him something strange. If Takemichi ever returns, then that "Takemichi" wouldn't really be him anymore, right?

Takemichi thinks about it for a moment. Not him, but still him... how is he even supposed to explain something like that?

"I haven't met the real fifteen-year-old Takemichi," Kazutora says. "So I don't know if he's anything like you."

"Honestly, I don't know either," Takemichi admits. "Sometimes my past self does things I can't even stand. Hmm... I think we'd probably be different in some ways. But our feelings? Those wouldn't change."

Takemichi assumes Kazutora is worried that if his fifteen-year-old self and his current self are different, then maybe their relationship would change too.

But when Kazutora hears that, he smiles - as if a heavy weight has finally been lifted from his chest.

He only loves the Takemichi standing here right now. If the fifteen-year-old Takemichi turns out to be different from this Takemichi, then maybe it will be easier for him to bury these feelings for good.

That would be for the best.

At least then, he won't have to fear losing control of his own heart again.

As Kazutora's figure fades further into the distance, Takemichi suddenly feels a tight ache in his chest. Why does it feel like, after revealing his secret, instead of bringing them closer like it did with Chifuyu, it creates an invisible wall between him and Kazutora?

Kazutora's inferiority complex, his guilt, and his fear of hurting Takemichi again are just as big as the love he carries for him.

Before, he struggles between being content to stay by Takemichi's side as just a friend, and wanting to become selfish enough to have him all to himself. But after hearing Takemichi's story, he realizes something.

He has already taken too much.

Even if it belongs to the past, his sins are still his sins. The more he understands how deeply he can love something, the more he realizes how easily that love can make him lose control... and end up destroying the very thing he treasures.

He has made enough mistakes.

Love is a fierce and passionate emotion. But to cherish someone*... is the quiet resolve to sacrifice yourself for their sake.

Chifuyu is surprised when Kazutora shows up in front of his house early in the morning. But it isn't the visit itself that shocks him - it's the look on Kazutora's face. The moment he sees Chifuyu, Kazutora presses his lips together, trying to hold himself back. Eventually, he can't take it anymore and breaks down crying. After all, he is still just a sixteen-year-old boy carrying the fragile heart of someone trapped in unrequited love.

"Chifuyu... I love him so much... I... what am I supposed to do? I really love him. But I know... he'll never love me back... I'm going to let him go... I want him to be happy... I really do... but why does it hurt so much? My chest... it really hurts..."

Kazutora forces the words out between broken sobs.

He knows that whether tomorrow comes or the day after that, the person he loves will still be that same boy. But his feelings can never be spoken out loud. Even if the whole world comes to know about his love, the one person he loves can never know.

Chifuyu just stands there in a daze before realizing his own eyes feel warm. He really wants to curse this idiot out. What the hell is he doing, showing up at his place this early in the morning and losing his mind like this? Why is he crying like he's the only one stuck loving someone alone? Hey... there's someone right here who isn't doing any better. All this time, he forces himself to endure. He keeps telling himself he's fine. He tells himself he's already satisfied with what he has. He tells himself it doesn't hurt.

And yet...

And yet every word Kazutora says sounds exactly like the feelings buried inside his own heart - words he doesn't even dare to say to anyone.

"Why are you crying... I..."

Chifuyu's tears begin to fall in silent streams too.

Aren't I just the same as you?

Unrequited love is a kind of loss. For so long, you smile alone, hurt alone, torment yourself alone. Even if it somehow ends happily, it is still a loss. The sad thing is, when the heart starts racing, the mind stops thinking clearly. No matter how pitiful you become, you can't even see it yourself.

But right now, as they look at each other, the two of them both understand just how pitiful they truly are.

My dear author left a message for you guys~

I've got writer's block, not heartbreak, okay? Just saying that first before you guys start thinking I got dumped while writing this chapter.

This chapter is kinda short - just something to help me get back into the groove.

The next chapter is happy. Probably. Yeah, it should be sweet for real.

Anyway, the next few chapters are gonna be soft and fluffy first... then the drama comes later.

I miss Sanzu so much but I still haven't found the right moment to let him show up yet.

And here's my note:

*I'm not sure whether the word "cherish" can fully capture the meaning of "thương" in Vietnamese, so I still want to give a bit more explanation for anyone who wants to better understand the emotions behind this line.

Here, the author uses "yêu" (which means love) and "thương," which I translated as cherish. From my point of view, thương is a word that carries a much broader and deeper emotional weight. When you love someone, sometimes that love can be selfish—you might want that person to belong only to you, and things like that. But thương carries an incredibly warm feeling. It's more like seeing someone as family, someone deeply dear to your heart, someone truly important.

It's the kind of feeling where you willingly choose to be patient, to understand them, to care for them, to treat them gently, to treasure them. You can be happy simply because they are happy, and feel heartache when they are sad. And just like the author writes, it can even mean being willing to sacrifice yourself for that person...

Anyway, if you want to read the next chapter, feel free to donate so I can stay motivated!

Just kidding. Totally up to you. I still upload new chapters on this date every month anyway. Though... if there happens to be some donations, maybe I might try to make some extra time for faster updates... hehe. 👀

If you've got the means and you love me that much, you can buy me a cup of coffee so I can sip it while pulling all-nighters to grind out chapters for you guys~ everybody stay happy and blessed~ ✨

Here's the link: buymeacoffee.com/allytao

And again, totally optional, no pressure. Only donate if you can afford it and if you really want to. And if you're younger readers, then it's fine, just enjoy the story...

Ah... wait... hmm... hold on... this might be dangerous. I just remembered this story has some 18+ content...

Hey. Is there anyone under 18 sneaking in here?! Report yourselves immediately! I refuse to be responsible for corrupting the youth, please!!! 😭