Friday, June 26, 2015

Despite the situation with Bertram, I had a great night with Benny, Luke, and Skylar. We all bonded a lot, and Benny and I were more flirty towards each other. Luke and Skylar noticed, but they kept their mouths shut about it.

Skylar left right before Benny, and when Luke and I were the only ones left, he talked to me about Benny. To my surprise, he approved. He knew how much I liked him, and he trusted Benny.

Today, Skylar planned to join us at the sandlot. After showering and taking care of all of my personal hygiene necessities, I dressed in a fitted black and white striped top with quarter sleeves tucked into ripped high-waisted shorts, black Vans, and my black Yankees cap backwards over my straightened hair.

When I exited my room, Luke stopped at the staircase for me. He took one look at me and raised his eyebrows.

"You're really trying today, aren't you?"

I frowned. "What are you talking about? I would wear this at any time."

Luke shook his head, cracking up. "Okay, let's just go."

---

The day seemed to end quickly. We played baseball for a while, but something felt weird. Bertram just made me feel uncomfortable. He seemed like a completely different person, and every time I would stand at second base by him, he would compliment me on my body or something.

We all went to the dugout. As usual, I grabbed a water bottle out of the mini fridge, chugging it down.

"Have you still not found your money yet?" Timmy asked me, his brother surprisingly not copying him.

I shook my head, sighing. "Nope. But that was pretty much all I had, so that kind of sucks."

"We can look for it again if you want," Squints suggested.

I shook my head again. "No, that's okay. It's gone. If it were around here, we would've found it."

"True," Squints mumbled.

I took a seat beside Benny, and he looked over at me, sending me a sweet smile.

"I could give you fifteen dollars to make up for it," Benny suggested.

"No," I responded, shaking my head with a small frown. "It isn't that big of a deal, Benny. But thank you."

"Anything for you." He cast me a smile, causing my cheeks to begin burning more than they already were from the heat and my activity.

"You guys, we should have a camp out tonight," Ham suggested loudly.

"Yeah, yeah, we haven't had one in a long time," Yeah-Yeah agreed.

"What do you say, Timmy? Tommy?" Ham asked Timmy, considering the treehouse belonged to them.

Timmy nodded his head. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. My dad will be on a date with my mom tonight anyway, so it's a good time to do it."

"Yeah, that would be fun," Tommy added.

Benny looked at me. "Do you wanna go?"

"Sure."

"Okay, we'll get ready, and I'll walk you over there," Benny stated. "You know, because I don't think you actually know where it is."

I chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, I know what you meant. Uh, we should get going, though. I need a shower before I do anything."

The boys, Skylar, and I all walked home together. Finally, in no time, the only people remaining were Benny, Skylar, Luke, and me. Benny walks in between Luke and me, and Skylar walked on the other side of Luke, their fingers interlocked.

Benny and Luke engaged in a conversation. All I could think about was how perfect Benny was. I can't believe he actually likes me!

"You gonna come to church with us next Sunday?" Luke asked Benny.

"If I can," Benny answered. "I mean, my mom encourages me to go, so I know she'd say yes, but I don't know if your parents want to drag an extra kid along every Sunday."

Luke waved him off. "No, they like you, and they'd always be willing to bring someone to church, especially you."

Benny smiled at the ground. "Okay, good. But just make sure to ask them beforehand, just in case."

"I got you," Luke replied.

We walked slowly, silence engulfing us. The silence was comfortable, though.

"You like my sister?" Luke bluntly asked, causing me to slap my forehead. He was so embarrassing sometimes.

"Nah, man. I don't have time for girls, you know? Baseball is my life, that's really all that matters to me at the moment," Benny replied, causing my heart to drop to my stomach.

I literally just completely convinced myself that he finally liked me, and once again, my heart shattered. This time, the pain was more intense. I let my hopes up. Every time I did that, I got hurt. I should have known. I guess I better get used to disappointment, as if I'm not already the queen of being disappointed. 

I quietly sighed, and without a word, I quickened my pace, walking past everyone, making my way to and inside my house as fast as possible. When I got inside, I ran up into my room, went to my bathroom and hopped into the shower.

After my shower, I got out, dried off, and went into my room with a red towel wrapped around my body. All I wanted to do was cry, scream, punch a wall, or all three, but instead, I did what I did best in Tennessee about a boy after getting hurt by Jacob. I numbed my feelings, ignoring them altogether.

I dressed in a red tank top, high-waisted jeans, gray Vans, and an over-sized, dark gray Smith County Owls Baseball hoodie. It used to be Zach's, but he gave me all of his hoodies, and I never could force myself to give them back.

I straightened my hair to perfection, took care of my hygiene necessities, grabbed my black leather backpack, which held my phone, ear buds, charger, black sweatpants, a maroon tank top, and a few other items I'd need.

With a sigh, I walked downstairs to meet Luke, Skylar, and Benny standing by the door.

"I asked Mom, and she said we could come," Luke informed me.

I nodded, not really wanting to hear anyone's voice or talk myself, so I walked out first. As I followed the others, I remained silent, just staring down at my phone. Zach messaged me a few times a couple hours earlier.

Zachary Howard: hey
Zachary Howard: I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to talk to you and make things right. You left before I got a chance to talk to you in person and I feel horrible. I just want you to know I'm sorry for everything
Zachary Howard: is that guy in the pictures your boyfriend?
Zachary Howard: anyways just message me when you see this ok I miss you

I messaged him back saying:

Aye, sorry I've been really busy lately. My life basically revolves around baseball out here. But no, he isn't my boyfriend. I miss you too, man...

When I sent the message, I glanced up for a split second. When I noticed Benny looking back at me, I immediately looked back down.

"Luke, guess who messaged me," I piped up.

"Who?"

"Zach," I answered, a small smile forming on my lips. "He said he misses me."

Luke chuckled. "Tell him I said what's up."

"I will later," I replied, hoping Benny was listening and having second thoughts. I doubted it though. If he really didn't like me, which he clearly stated so, it wouldn't matter to him.

I scrolled through my news feed, trying to listen to the boys' and Skylar's quiet conversation. The only thing I really caught was Luke whispering, "She's probably just in a bad mood. I don't know why."

I rolled my eyes, but I didn't speak up. Luke knew exactly why I was in a bad mood, and I was sure Skylar did too. How was Benny the only oblivious one?

The entire walk, I didn't say a word to anyone, and fortunately, they didn't try to talk to me either. Luke probably informed them that it was the best thing to do. I just felt so aggravated. When we finally reached the tree house, we climbed the steps, and Benny led us inside.

The boys were scattered around the tree house, and my eyes trailed over to Ham, who was making s'mores. I immediately made my way over to him, taking a seat across from him.

Ham's eyes rose to meet mine. "Want one?"

I nodded in reply. I didn't feel like making any effort to talk. I was probably about to start my period or something, because I usually stay in a bad mood under those circumstances. Benny just heightened that feeling. I couln't believe he made me think he liked me, but once again, he confirmed he didn't. I might as well give up hope and try to stop liking him, because it's clear I won't get anywhere.

I got so lost in my thoughts, Ham had to snap in my face to bring me out of my trance.

"Hello. Earth to Makayla," Ham said, holding a new s'more in his other hand. "Here's your s'more."

"Oh, thanks," I responded, taking it from his hand.

"No problem."

I remained in my seat, taking a bite out of the s'more. The snack didn't last long; it tasted really good, and I felt as though I hadn't eaten one in months, although it had been days.

"Hey, Kayla," Benny called out to me. I rolled my eyes, then turned my head in the direction of his voice. I found him sitting at a corner with his back against the wall, his eyes locked on me.

"What?"

Benny patted the ground next to him, signaling for me to sit with him. I sighed, but after a few moments of hesitance, I stood up, made my way to him, and sat down on the wooden floor beside him.

"What's wrong?" he asked knowingly.

I stared at the view in front of me, refusing to return his gaze. "Nothing."

"You're acting weird, like you're mad or something. Seriously, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Does this idiot seriously not understand that he's the reason?

"Nothing," I repeated, already getting annoyed, but I tried to hide it. "I'm fine. Just in a bad mood."

"Kayla," he pressed on, resting his hand over mine. I looked over at him, meeting his concerned gaze. "What is it?"

I stared hard into his eyes, gritting my teeth. If I told him he was the reason, I'd feel like an idiot for ever believing he liked me in the first place. So I half-lied. "I think I'm about to be on my period. There you go, since you wanted to know so bad."

I expected him to grimace or freak out at the mention of something natural for women but always seemed to make boys extremely uncomfortable or disgusted. Instead, he nodded, casting me a small smile.

"Oh, okay," he replied lightly. "So that puts you in a bad mood?"

I nodded, returning my gaze back to Ham, who was making s'mores for the boys. "Yup. Turns me into a bitch, honestly. I'll try to control it, though. But just be warned, the smallest things aggravate me. Like, if I tell you something and you have me repeat it more than once, I'll get mad. And if you just act annoying or anything, I'll get mad."

Benny chuckled. "Okay, I'm taking notes in my head. I heard chocolate helps with the cramps or something, though."

I nodded. "Yeah, dark chocolate, I think. But I only like milk chocolate, and I crave it every time."

He looked up at Ham, then stood up. "I'll be right back."

I watched as he made his way over to Ham. He came back with a full Hershey's bar. A small smile formed on my lips. Benny sat down next to me, then gave me the chocolate bar.

"Here you go," Benny muttered.

I sent him a smile. "Well, thank you."

"Any time."

---

After a little while, it started to get late. The boys decided that they wanted to pull an all-nighter, though they probably wouldn't make it very long.

Benny and I were still sitting in our previous spots, just talking.

"I like your hoodie, by the way," Benny remarked.

I smiled. "Thanks. It was Zach's."

Benny's facial expression suddenly went blank, and he murmured, "Oh." After a few moments of silence, he asked, "So he likes baseball too?"

I shrugged. "I mean, yeah, but he didn't play or anything. Football and hockey were his favorite sports. He, uh, kinda stole this hoodie from the school." I laughed, shaking my head. "Needless to say, I only seem to go for the bad boys."

"Oh," Benny muttered. "That's nice, I guess."

I laughed. "No, it isn't. I know it's bad. But I can't help it."

Benny nodded, and we sat in silence for a while. Then he questioned, "So he messaged you?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, nodding.

"What'd he say?"

"That he was sorry, he felt horrible for not being able to see me and make things right before I left, and that he misses me," I respond. "Why?"

With a shrug, he answered, "Just curious."

All of a sudden, my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my pocket, and I saw that Zach was calling me. My eyes grew wide, and I glanced over at Benny. He was staring at my phone screen with a frown.

I answered the phone with a, "Hello?"

"Hey," Zach greeted me from the other end, sounding kind of nervous. "Uh, you're not busy right now, are you?"

"Um, I mean, I'm at a little camp out thing with my friends, but I'm not really busy," I answered. "Why?"

"I was wanting to talk to you," he responded.

"Talk." I looked over at Benny, and he was staring at me intently, probably curious as to what was being said. Just so he could hear it and maybe some kind of romantic feelings for me would come up, I put Zach on speaker phone.

"First of all, will you be coming to Tennessee any time soon?" he asked.

"Uh, not for a while," I replied. "The first break we have from school, I think we'll be coming down there though. Why?"

"I was thinking that the next time I see you, I should do something sweet. Would you go on a date with me?"

I giggled, feeling myself grow nervous. "Yeah, I guess so. But where?"

"I don't know, but I have enough time to figure it out," he answered, chuckling. "But I miss you, Makayla. More than anything. I can't believe I messed everything up. If I could go back, I would in a heartbeat, and I would make everything right."

"Well, it probably wouldn't have mattered much," I replied. "I would've ended up moving anyway. But what's it like down there without me?"

"Terrible. We all miss you. My parents and Jackson miss you too. It's not the same without you here. Now I have all these hoes trying to mess with me, and I can't even imagine myself with anyone other than you."

"Yeah, right," I muttered. "But hey, I feel you. It's hard to imagine myself with anyone other than you."

"What about that Benny guy?"

I glanced over at Benny, and I could have been wrong, but I thought his lips formed into a tiny smirk.

"He's just my best friend," I finally responded.

"Doesn't look like that," Zach muttered.

"Do you need his confirmation or something? I mean, he's right next to me," I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Benny smiling.

"Really?"

"Yup. Benny, say hi."

"Hey," Benny said with a smirk, and I laughed.

"Oh my God, I have so many videos of me telling you to say hi, and you'd say hey instead," I said to Zach, causing Benny's smile to slowly fade.

"Yeah, I remember that," Zach chuckled. "But what's up, man?"

"Nothing much, just hanging with the most amazing girl I know," Benny responded, causing my heart to jump. If he doesn't quit playing with me, man. . . .

Zach went silent for a few moments before replying, "Yeah, she's amazing. You're lucky you get to be around her."

"I am," Benny agreed.

I giggled. "Wow, y'all are sweet. But I think I'm the lucky one. I get to know you both, and you guys are some of the greatest boys I've ever met."

Zach sighed. "I just wish I could be with you right now. I'm sorry, Makayla. I never should've hurt you like I did."

"No, you shouldn't have, but it's okay," I replied. "It's in the past. I learned from it. But I have Jacob to thank, because he hurt me to the point that I never let myself get too attached, and I learned to numb my emotions. Believe it or not, I still have to do that."

Benny sent me a small frown and beat Zach to the question. "Why?"

"Not saying," I answered, chuckling. "But yeah, I miss you all too. Tell your family I said that, and tell Jackson I love him."

"Okay," Zach replied, his voice brightened a bit. "Anyways, how's California?"

"Hot," I answered, laughing. "Like, really hot. I almost passed out playing baseball once. But on the bright side, I've been getting a good tan."

Zach chuckled. "Yeah, I saw that. You look really good, dough girl."

I laughed loudly at his old nickname for me because I was so pale. "Oh, shut up. You can't call me that anymore. Believe it or not, I spend basically all of my time outside now."

"Baseball?"

"Yup."

"That's good," Zach remarked. "You'll get fit."

"Yeah, and I can lose weight that way," I added.

"Oh my God!" Zach groaned. "You're still calling yourself fat? Makayla, have you not taken a look at your body lately? You're skinny!"

"She does still call herself fat," Benny spoke up, rolling his eyes. "I think she's blind or something."

Zach laughed. "Exactly."

All of a sudden, Benny poked my stomach repeatedly, earning a few giggles from me. "See this? It's almost completely flat."

"Stop, that tickles," I giggled.

Benny smirked. "Oh, you wanna play that game again?"

"No!" I exclaimed, scooting away from him. "Please. I'm not ticklish anymore!"

"Is that right?"

Zach laughed. "Oh, yeah, you're not ticklish, it just scares your nervous system."

I smirked. "I can't believe you remember that."

Benny chuckled, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back to my previous spot beside him. My heart skipped a beat.

"And if you were fat, I might not have been able to do that," Benny said.

"Do what?" Zach asked.

"Pull her back beside me," Benny replied before I could say anything, causing my mouth to drop open.

"Oh," Zach muttered. "Just friends, right?"

"Best friends, yeah," I confirmed, stifling a laugh at Benny's mischievous smirk.

"Mm," he grumbled in response. "Well, I have to go. I have to be up early."

"Okay," I replied, nodding, though he couldn't see that.

"Goodnight," he said to me. "I love you."

"Goodnight, uh, love you too," I replied before hanging up.

When I looked over at Benny, he looked a bit uneasy. I shook my head, chuckling.

"You probably just made him really jealous," I spoke up.

"Yeah, I was trying," Benny replied.

"Why?"

He shrugged, sitting back so his back rested against the wall. "Because he hurt you, and that was really dumb of him. He needs to know what he's missing out on."

I smiled, my heart skipping a beat. "Well, thank you."

"Any time."

I glanced around the room, and for the first time, I realized how much quieter it was now. Most of the boys were sleeping, and if they weren't, they were talking to each other about random stuff.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"I just realized that I forgot a sleeping bag," I murmured, gritting my teeth.

"Oh, yeah . . . that could be a problem," Benny responded.

I let out a deep sigh, starting to get mad. "I guess I'll just go home, then."

Before I could stand up, Benny grabbed my hand lightly. "Hey, no, you can sleep with me."

Hearing those words caused my heart to stop altogether. Benny was suggesting that I sleep with him. . . . What?

"Are you sure?" I asked slowly, frowning slightly. "I mean, you think we'd both fit?"

Benny nodded. "Sure. I got a big one, and the boys brought in extra pillows and blankets for us."

The thought of sleeping beside Benny sent chills all throughout my body. "But you don't think it'd be weird? I mean, you know. . . ." I trailed off.

"Nope, it's just sleeping," he replied. "Not like we'll be all up on each other or anything."

"Well, okay," I agreed, nodding. "Thank you."

Benny shrugged, a small smile forming on his lips. "Any time."

"You always say that," I laughed.

"I know," he replied, laughing with me.

---

Benny and I stayed up for a few more hours until we were the only ones left awake, and I felt my eyes growing heavier.

"Tired yet?" Benny questioned. We were now sitting on his sleeping bag, a thick blanket substituting as a cushion. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes were a bit red.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, chuckling lightly. "And I know you are."

Benny shrugged. "What can I say? I like to keep a sleeping schedule. I haven't stayed up this long in a long time."

"I used to be able to stay up all night and day," I responded. "But I would sleep through the day and stay awake only at night, and it would depress me, so I got out of that habit."

"I can honestly say I've never stayed up that long in my life," Benny replied, lying down and letting his head hit the long pillow we were sharing.

"Well, it ain't nothing special." I laid down as well, leaving a small space in between us. "I wouldn't suggest doing it, unless you don't care to only be awake for the night."

Benny shook his head vigorously. "I couldn't do it."

I chuckled, but didn't respond. Instead, I pulled out my phone, going to Snapchat. I held the phone out so the camera was on me, and Benny scooted in so close to me, even our heads were pressed together. I snapped the picture, and after putting the time on it, which was 3:47 am, I put the caption "Tired selfie with the Jet" on it. Before finally posting it to my story, I saved the photo to my phone.

Benny moved away from me, but not by much. He pulled a blanket over himself, throwing it out over my body as well.

"Goodnight, Kayla," Benny whispered.

I sent him a tired smile, and replied in a light voice, "Goodnight, Benny."

With that, I turned on my side so my back was facing him, and I closed my eyes, drifting off into a sleep not long afterward.

---

I know I'm repeating myself, but I just want you guys to know that I love all of your comments so much. I may not always reply, but I see them all, & they make my day. Keep them coming, babes. That's 50% of my motivation, if not more. The other thing that motivates me is my love for baseball, The Sandlot, Benny, & the ideas I have for this story. ❤

The reads, votes, & comments on this story are climbing everyday, & it makes me so happy. Soon enough, ATM will hit 4k reads. That isn't a lot, but it's an accomplishment. So thank you if you're reading this. & if you actually vote & comment, I just love you. ❤

Anyways, vote & comment. Let me know what you think of this story. If there's anything you dislike/hate, let me know. Anything you like/love? Let me know. I want to know what I can do to make this story the best I can.

Aye, by the way, my birthday's in 2 days (January 20th, & it's currently 12:50 am where I am). Ya girl's gonna be 15. (; Literally all I've asked for is my own baseball bat, glove, a few baseballs (bc the one I use is my dad's, & the stuff is ripping off bc I hit it so hard so many times), & more baseball jerseys, lmao. Don't judge.

Anyways, sorry this note is so long. xD

Stay gold.