The talk 

Saina's

IT'S not awkward at all, no it isn't – well it kind of is, lalo na kung titigan ako noong isang kapatid ni Birada ay ganoon na lang. Andres ang pangalan niya at siya iyong nakakakilala kay Avery. Hindi ko naman maitanong kung bakit kilala niya ang asawa ni Uriel, but maybe magkalaro sila sa computer games, ganoon naman kasi iyong network ni Avery.

Si Birada naman ay kanina pa hindi makatingin sa akin. He was sitting in front of me. Katabi niya ang isa sa mga kapatid niya, while I was sitting beside his mom and of course, si Joshua. Joshua is a dear. He's attentive to me as he was clingy. Lagi siyang nakahawak sa ends ng blouse ko and that's okay. I like him. He's warm like my precious boy.

"So, what do you do for a living, hija?" Tanong ng Mommy nila. I looked at her, in my perception, she looked like a strong woman, maybe it's my impression, he raised four boys, wala akong balita sa Daddy nila, hindi naman rin ako magtatanong, that's not my place, but their mom looks like someone that can withstand a storm.

"I work in the business field, Ma'am."

"Her family owns the company." Biglang sabi ni Jose Gerardo. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam ang magiging reaksyon ko, it's the first time he spoke today. "She's my boss."

"Actually, my father is his boss. We're on different teams. He's the lead attorney of my father. His main job is trying to make my father look innocent kahit na totoo naman na kinuha ng tatay ang ang pera ng sarili niyang kompanya."

I hit the right button. Biglang sumama ang hitsura ni Birada. I needed that reaction, kanina pa kasi ako hindi mapakali. I felt like dinamdam niya ang halik na iyon noong nakaraang linggo. Like why is he acting like a virgin, magkasing – edad nga iyong mga anak namin.

"No one is proven guilty until stated by the court."

"He's my father, I know he is guilty. The financial reports back it up, hindi ko nga maintidihan kung paano mo ilulusot ito. How much is my father paying you ba? What did he promise to you when all these are over?" Tumaas ang kilay ko. Napansin ko namang nagpapabalik – balik ang tingin ng mga kapatid niya sa aming dalawa. Nakakuyom na ang palad ni Birada, namumula na rin ang leeg niya, nanlalaki pa ang butas ng ilong.

"Again, no one is guilty until proven otherwise!" He hissed.

"I—"

"Papa, natatakot po ako." Sabi bigla ni Joshua. We all looked at him. Nakatayo na siya sa tabi ng lola niya, nakayakap at nakatingin sa Papa niya habang nakakagat labi. My mouth parted. Gusto kong pagalitan ang sarili ko, hindi ko dapat ginalit si Birada. Nakalimutan kong nandito ang anak niya, and because of that, everything in that dinner became awkward afterwards, wala nang gustong magsalita, lahat ay tahimik na kumakain and it's all my fault. Hindi na tuloy ako nagtaka nang magpaalam ako sa kanila ay hindi na nila ako pinigilan.

I went home that night restless, napahiya ako sa pamilya niya. They must think that I am a bitch – well I am, I was, or still am. Pilit ko pa ring inaalis iyon sa sarili ko. I am trying to change for the better, gusto kong maging isang taong maipagmamalaki ng anak ko kaya nga lahat ng issues ko sa buhay ay dahil kay Haniel. I don't want him to look at me with embarrassment in his eyes. Gusto ko na kahit sa ganito kami nauwi ni Uriel ay pwede pa rin siyang maging proud sa akin - sa aming dalawa ng Daddy niya, but what I did earlier, it's not something to be proud of. Hindi ko na kasi napigilan talaga ang sarili ko.

"Hay, Saina!" I hissed at myself in front of the mirror. I was doing my night routine, sinusubukan kong kalimutan ang mga bagay na nangyari kanina pero kahit nakahiga na ako ay naaalala ko iyong nakita kong disappointment sa mukha ni Joshua, kasabay noon ay hindi ko maiwasang maalala iyong boses ng bata nang sabihin niyang natatakot siya. He's small, but he sounded smaller. Hindi ko talaga dapat ginawa iyon. Nawala ako sa sarili ko, nakalimutan ko iyong mga kasama ko, the only objective that I have that moment is to piss him off.

"Argh! Saina!" I took my phone from the bedside table and then I called Uriel. Hindi si Barang ang kailangan kong kausapin ngayon, kundi si Uriel. Kaibigan ko pa rin si Uriel kahit na anong nangyari sa aming dalawa.

"He's still asleep." Iyon agad ang bungad ni Uriel sa akin pagkatapos niyang sagutin ang phone. "I'll take him tomorrow. According to Haniel, 10 am ang start nila bukas and I confirmed it kay Ms. Mira." Sabi niya sa akin. Napabuntong – hininga ako.

"Remember my nakakainis na ugali?"

"There's a lot, be specific." Parang iniinis niya pa ako. I made a face. Sumandal ako sa headboard ng kama ko. I was sighing.

"You know, iyong kapag gusto kong mamikon—"

"Ah! The one where you want to make someone angry, you don't care who's around you, you just go for it, parang iyong ginagawa mo sa akin?" There's amusement in his voice, alam ko namang hindi niya dinaramdam ang mga bagay na sinasabi ko pero tama si Uriel. Iyon nga talaga ang sinasabi ko.

"Hindi ko dapat ginawa iyon." I pouted. "Nakakahiya. Birada was surrounded by his whole family. Plus, it's his birthday, natakot ko pa si Joshua. Nakakahiya talaga."

"Apologize." Agad na wika ni Uriel. "Saina, you are a brat but when you know that you're wrong, you apologize. I'll end the call. Avery just got out of the shower."

"Eww, Uriel. TMI!"

"You're just envious I get to get laid and you're in drought."

"Uriel!" Sinigawan ko siya pero hindi na niya narinig kasi tinapos na niya iyong tawag. I rolled my eyes at the phone. Kahit kailan hindi ko inasahan na magiging ganito iyong relasyon namin ni Uriel. Nakakatuwa rin na madalas magulat ang mga tao kapag nalalaman nilang mas kaibigan ko pa ang asawa ng ex ko kaysa sa kanya. I do not regret the day that I became friends with Avery, but I am nit thinking about that now, mas iniisip ko kung paano ako mag-a-apologize kay Birada, sa pamilya niya lalo na kay Joshua.

Hindi talaga ako makatulog. Paikot – ikot ako sa kama hanggang sa nag-decide ako na magpunta sa coffee shop sa ibaba. I need to buy something – heto na naman ang impulsive buyer side ko. I kept thinking that I needed some hibiscus tea, at kahit mayroon ako noon sa loob ng cupboards ko ay hindi ko iyon gagalawin kasi iniisip kong mas masarap ang blend sa coffee shop sa ibaba.

I was only wearing my silk night gown. Kinuha ko lang ang oversized coat ko, isinuot iyon at saka bumaba na. I made sure that I have my card wallet with me para naman sigurado akong may pambayad ako. I was on the elevator going down, ngayon ako nagkakaroon ng secondhand embarrassment sa ginawa ko kanina. Akala ko pa naman okay ang lahat, iniisip ko kung anong tingin sa akin ngayon ng mga kapatid ni Birada, lalo ng nanay niya.

"My god, Saina, you and your dirty mouth!" I hissed. I was shaking my head. The elevator opened and I emerged from it. Tuloy – tuloy lang ako sa labas hanggang sa makapasok sa loob ng coffee shop, I ordered a cup of hot hibiscus tea, and sat on the table near the glass wall. Ilang beses akong nagbuntong – hininga. I need to talk to him. Yes, I have his number, nagpalitan kami, two weeks ago noong huling nag-playdate ang mga bata. I should call him, no a call might be too soon but maybe I should just text him. Yes, a text could be a neutral sign, maybe he wouldn't be pissed off – well I did make him angry, pero sana medyo galit lang siya.

Napangalahati ko na iyong tsaa nang mapatingin ako sa may labas. Napakunot iyong noo ko nang mapansin kong naroon si Gerry. My mind ain't playing tricks on me. Napatayo ako agad. This is the moment, and also, I am acknowledging that Uriel is right.

I am a brat, a bitch as many would call me but when I know my faults, I apologize and I am going to do that now.

Lumabas ako, nakita kong maghihintay yata siya ng taxi o mukhang tatawid lang pero bago pa siya makalayo ay lumapit agada ko para hawakan siya sa braso. I was right, it's really him. Medyo nagulat rin yata siya nang mapalingon sa akin. I suddenly felt small because of the way he gazed at me. I bit my lower lip.

"What are you doing?" Hindi naman galit ang boses niya, pero masyadong seryoso, hindi ako sanay. He always talks in a cheerful tone.

"Can... we, can we talk?"

"What about?"

Hindi ko na siya nasagot, bigla na lang kasing bumuhos iyong ulan. Nabasa ang buong pagkatao naming dalawa. Ako naman, gumana agad ang isip ko, kinuha ko ang kamay niya at hinatak siya papasok ng building. Nagtuloy kami sa elevator. Nakaramdam ako ng lamig kasi manipis ang panloob ko. Wala kaming kibuan sa loob ng elevator hanggang sa makapasok kaming dalawa sa unit ko.

He stayed in the foyer for some time, looking at me. He sighed.

"What do you want, Saina? I'm tired. Hinatid ko lang iyong kapatid ko. He lives at tower B."

"I'm so sorry." Humawak ako sa mga daliri ko sa kamay ko. Hindi naman ako madaling ma-intimidate, but because I am guilty of what happened earlier, nahihiya talaga ako sa kanya. "I have this bad habit of making someone angry and not caring about the people around me. I'm sorry. You must really think that I am a horrible person, siguro ganoon rin ang iniisip ng nanay mo at mga kapatid mo, and I am willing to apologize to them, but let me do this for you first. I'm so sorry, Gerry."

Hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita.

"Also, hindi ko naisip si Joshua. I swear, I never mean to scare him. I'm so sorry. I love Joshua, Gerry. Mahal na mahal siya ni Haniel, mabait na bata si Joshua kaya hindi mahirap para sa akin ang mahalin siya. I'm so sorry..." Sa pagkakataong iyon ay patulo na ang luha ko, pero napigilan ko iyon nang marinig ko ang paggalaw niya. He took his shoes off and he started to walk towards me. Hindi ko naman mabasa ang expression ng mukha niya.

"You talk too much." He said to me.

"Yes. Isa iyon sa mali sa akin. Nakakainis iyong ugali kong iyon. I am trying to change that. I am still in the middle of working on my flaws. I am—"

Napasinghap ako nang mapansin kong napakaliit na pala ng distansya naming dalawa. Napatitig ako sa mga mata ni Gerry. His pupils were of a darker shade. He looked as if he is going to swallow me alive, and then when I thought about stepping back away, he suddenly grabbed my by the waist and he pinned me to the wall.

"I know an effective way of shutting up a woman." He was taunting me – I've heard that tone.

One thing about me is that I am also competitive at sa nangyayari ngayon, he is taunting me, hindi ako papatalo, so instead of backing away, I looked at his eyes, I parted my lips a bit, and said:

"Oh yeah?" It was almost a whisper. "Then fucking show me."

And he did. His lips crushed on mine.

xxxx

THERE are warning bells in my brain but I am choosing to ignore them as Gerry and I kissed while stumbling on the furniture in the living room. Every piece of clothing was being shed away with so much urgency. I gasped hard when I felt him bite that specific soft part between my ear and my neck. I am melting. God, it's been so long – that long – that my knees were shaking as Gerry scatters kisses on my neck down to my collar bone.

"Ahhh..." I couldn't help but moan when he bit the strap of my bra and pulled it down using his teeth – wild – I thought of it.

We kept on walking and kissing, and touching, I don't care if I bump into the wall or the sofa, I'm not even thinking about the bruises I'll get tomorrow morning after this, I just want to feel his warmth around me.

"Fuck." I hissed when I felt his wet and hot mouth around my left nipple. God, why is this so good? Has it been really that long for me? Like what the fuck, Saina? I have this rule of not fucking a co-worker and he is my co-worker and yet his mouth is on my nipple while his blessed but sinful tongue was making erotic circles around my sensitive mounds.

"Wait..." I was panting. I heard him whimper. He looked at me with furrowed brows. "My knees are shaking. I need to lay down." Tumaas ang sulok ng bibig ni Gerry – and maybe it's because he made me so horny – I found that hot – so hot that I pulled him by his collar to give him and open – mouthed kiss. Oh this feels so good.

I found myself being laid down the bed. Unti – unti kong nararamdaman ang bigat niya sa katawan ko but it's not really a bother. He was in between my legs, my upper body was exposed to him and god bless his beautiful, sexy mouth for making me feel things that I thought that I have forgotten.

"Take it off." I tugged on his shirt. I wanted to see him too. The room was well lit and I am not going to let this opportunity pass. I want to see his whole body. I want to see him. Sumunod naman siya. He gave me a light peck on my lips before he straightened up and took his blue button down shirt off. He's teasing me, he's taking his fucking time. Ako na iyong nainip. I sat up and helped him unbutton that damn shirt.

"I hate buttons." Inip na wika ko. Finally, I was able to take off that damn thing and he is marvelous. He has a huge black ink tattoo on his left chest – oh that defined pectorals. I felt myself drooling. I didn't care kung mukhang horny na horny na ako, I duck my head and licked his nipple. He gasped. He grabbed a handful of my hair, made me face him and from that angle, we kissed again.

It was a hot, sloppy kind of kiss. I could feel the wetness around my mouth - don't care. I want this. When the need for air became a necessity, we were forced to end that kiss. I was only looking at him, I noticed that string of saliva – still connecting our mouths.

"Do you want this?" He asked me.

"What?"

"Consent is a must, Saina. Do you want this?"

I gasped again. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I am almost naked, Birada, and you're still asking about consent." I buried my head on the crook of his neck. "That's so sexy of you. Fuck me, Birada. Fuck me hard."

I swear, parang natigilan siya noon. Nakatingin ako sa kanya, nakapikit pa siya tapos ay huminga nang malalim, pero nang muli niya akong tingnan ay ganoon na lang ang ngisi niya. He kissed me again, but this time, it's rougher, harder and hotter. He laid his while weight on me and I loved it. I could feel his hands roaming around my body – I am getting hotter and wetter by the minute. I could feel his thick cock between our hot bodies.

Oh yes, I am sure that he' is thick. I could feel it.

He was now kissing my abdomen, he keeps going down and I am anticipating it. Fuck! I want him to eat me like there's no tomorrow. He spread my legs wide and I hitched my breathe when I felt his nose on my most sensitive part.

"Ahhhh!" I bit my lower lip when I felt him dipping his tongue in my clitoris. "Yah... that's... ahhh!" I don't know how to put it pero hinigop niya ang parteng iyon. I arched my back – beautifully I hope – I cannot believe that as early a tonight I am feeling this delicious but delirious feelings in my body.

He kept lashing his tongue back and forth. I was biting my lower lip so hard. I wanted to scream but I was worried that the neighbors will hear me. Now I am asking myself why I didn't get the penthouse in the top floor, kahit magsisigaw ako roon, walang makakarinig sa akin.

"Ahh god, your tongue!" My legs were now around his neck. I was clutching the sheets. Init na init na iyong pakiramdam ko. I could feel that familiar built of hotness in my core. I know that I am gonna explode any moment from now, I found the strength to cup his face, mukhang nagtataka pa siya dahil pinigil ko siya.

"What?" He asked. His lips were glistening with my essence. I am that wet.

"I am going to come and I want you to swallow all of it, alright?"

"Fuck, Saina, that's so hot."

"Yes, work on that. I want you to fuck me hard too." Halos idukdok ko siya sa gitna ng mga hita ko. I closed my eyes, napatingala ako. Why does this feel so good. Fuck. My whole body became rigid in a matter of minutes and then, I felt that something in me exploded and there he was in between my legs, licking, slurping all of it until I calmed down.

My whole body went limp but I still want more. I looked at him, he was taking his pants off. I swear mamamaga na ang labi ko sa kakakagat. I was eyeing him. Hindi nga ako nagkamali, I saw the bulge in his boxer briefs and then, he took that of too.

"Fuck me. Fuck me!" I demanded.

"I am working on it." Tumingin siya sa akin. "Condoms?" He asked me.

"You should be the one to have those." Wika ko sa kanya.

"Well I don't. Umalis ako ng bahay kanina kasama ang anak ko na ang iniisip ko lang ay mag-di-dinner kami ng pamilya ko."

I rolled my eyes. "Well you have a point there. Bottom drawer, beside the pink box." Bumaba siya ng kama, hindi naman nagtagal ay bumalik na siya sa kama. He pumped his erection a few times – and while he's doing that, I was watching. I really want a taste of his thick cock. I wondered how that would taste inside my mouth, or how it would feel when he comes in my throat.

"I wanna swallow you." I said. He looked at me.

"Some other time, dear." He winked at me. "I want to fuck you so much now."

"Ah, so there would be a next time?" He positioned himself in me. Moments later, I gasped when I felt the tip of his thick cock entering my core. "Ah yeah... that's good, you're big." I moaned.

"And you're so tight. Legs around me, dear." He said, yumuko siya para kagatin ako sa leeg. I titled my head to give him access.

"Move now." I told him, he did. "Yes, that's good. Faster, deeper..."

He moved in that way, faster, deeper, hotter and rougher, and all I could do is moan his name.

"Sarap..." I moaned again. He licked my cleavage and then his mouth found my right nipple. He played with it with his sinful tongue, taunting it, sucking it, while his free hand was on my other nipple, twitching it, it's giving me more. I am wanting more.

"Wait... pull out!" I pushed him.

"What?" Nagtatakang tanong niya.

"Nothing. I just want to ride you." Natulala yata siya tapos ay humiga siya. He spread his leg a bit and waited for me. I sat on his and positioned his cock between my legs, seconds later, his inside me again and I am moving with so much urgency. He was moaning too. Nakakapit ang dalawang kamay niya sa baywang ko. He was meeting my thrust, it's so good. I couldn't help but clutch on his defined chest. Bumaon na nga yata ang mga kuko ko.

"Fuck me, yes! Fuck me more! I'm coming! Ohhhh..."

He flipped us without disconnecting our bodies, he kept on thrusting in me, and then finally he stopped. He kissed me, tongue to tongue – and then he ducked his head in the crook of my neck.

"That feels so good." I said to him. He looked at me.

"Indeed. It feels heavenly."

We smiled at each other.