You're welcome, Chewing gum

Saina's

"YOUR mom smells so good! She smells like coffee!"

I smiled right after hearing what Joshua just said. We ended up having a late meryenda inside the school cafeteria – kasama si Joshua, of course at ang tatay niyang mukhang chewing gum na nakaupo lang doon at nakatingin kung saan. I really wanted to go home, gusto ko kasing masigurong maayos si Haniel kahit na natingnan na siya ng school doctor. I wanted to bring him to the hospital and get him checked again, but then my precious boy suddenly said that he's hungry, so I decided to eat with him, iyon nga lang dahil na rin best friend niya talaga si Joshua ay inaya niya rin itong kumain.

"Mommy smells like rainbows and butterflies!" Haniel giggled and then he faced me. I was trying to feed him, nang tingnan ko ang anak ko ay nakangisi siya sa akin.

"Really, baby love? I smell like that?" He nodded.

"Yes! I love you, Mommy!" Affection comes easy to my son. He's touchy, and feely, palagi siyang nangyayakap, kundi man ay bigla na lang siyang uupo sa tabi ko at hihiga siya sa mga binti ko, he would request me to caress his hair or he'll just sit on my lap while he rest his head on my chest. Those were my favorite moments with Haniel, with that, I feel like I have my whole world on my hands – Haniel is my whole world and I love him so much. I kissed the top of his head.

"I love you too, Love, come and eat." I put the fork in front of him. I ordered the cheesy baked mac and toasted garlic bread for my son, si Joshua naman ay hotdog sandwich. I looked at Joshua, his smile suddenly faltered and then he looked at his father. Birada sighed and gave his son a small smile.

"Kain na, Joshua, hindi ka ba napagod?" Tanong niya sa anak niya. It's obvious that the child is missing his mother, I wonder what happened – well that's all I could do, wonder, hindi naman kami close ni Birada para magtanong ako sa kanya kung anong nangyari sa kanila noong nanay ng bata, I don't see any wedding ring in his fingers, it could be the classing nagka-anak pero naghiwalay sa huli or maybe he's annulled, maybe they didn't find the happy ending they both wanted for each other.

Ganoon naman ang panahon ngayon. People say that the olde days were so much better for relationships, but then in my opinion, kaya lang naman nagtatagal ang relasyon noon – well hindi ko naman nilalahat – ay dahil takot ang mga tao na harapin ang katotohanan ng isang failed relationship, hindi kasi maganda sa paningin ng lahat ang isang relasyong hindi naging successful, it's like a red tag on a woman, yes, mula noon ang mga babae ang napupulaan kapag hindi nagtagumpay ang isang relasyon and that's just bullshit.

Nowadays, both men and women are braver to free themselves than to suffer the consequences of a failed relationship. Tama naman, sa panahon ngayon tayo bilang tao ang hahanap ng sarili nating happiness. No one should depend on someone to be happy – I was once like that – I made Uriel the center of my universe so when we failed, I was so lost and so angry that I even vented this anger towards him. Nagkamali ako noon, and from that mistake, I learned and I made sure to become a better person for my son. Para rin naman sa kanya ang ginawa ko, he's now able to enjoy his time with his father.

"Joshua, are you okay?" I asked the little boy. His eyes sparkled when I acknowledged him. Poor boy, maybe he is missing his mom so much.

"Yes po." Yumuko siya, I reached for his hand and squeezed it a bit. "Don't worry, baby love..." I said in a light tone. "Hanhan will be okay, his arm is going to heal up real good because I am going to make sure of that, saka hindi naman ako galit, so you need not to worry, alright, baby love?" I gave him my sweetest smile, noong makita kong nakangiti na siya ay kinindatan ko pa siya. He suddenly had the appetite to eat.

Kung gaano ako ka-sweet kay Joshua, nang tumingin ako sa tatay niyang chewing gum ay tinapunan ko ito ng napakasamang tingin. I mouthed "asshole" and then I smiled at the kids again. Hindi kailangan malaman ng mga bata na nag-aaway kami ni chewing gum boy. Wala naman talaga akong inis sa kanya noon kahit na siya ang lead attorney ni Papa, pero noong nakipag – usap siya sa akin para lang sabihin na do I like what I see, bobo siya, galit na galit ako sa mga taong feeling God's gift to women. Isa na si Birada roon.

Matapos kumain ay nagdesisyon na kaming umuwi. I was holding Haniel's right hand. Magkakasunod kaming naglalakad, si Joshua ay nakikipag – usap sa anak ko, ako naman ay nakikinig lang sa kanilang dalawa. Malapit na kami sa kotse ko nang magsalita si Birada.

"Saina, thank you." I looked at him, it was the first time that I am seeing him like this. Iyong hindi mayabang, I really think that this time he is talking with his genuine personality, hindi iyong pinakikita niya lang kapag nasa office kami. "Thanks for everything that you said to my son, doon sa guidance kanina, thank you... You don't..."

Natigilan kami sa pag – uusap nang marinig naming nagsalita si Joshua.

"Hanhan may boyfriend na ba ang Mommy?"

"Mom has a lot of friends that are boys. I call them my uncles!" Napangisi ako lalo nang makita ko kung gaano kalaki ang mata ni Birada. Bigla niyang hinawakan ang kamay ni Joshua but being a kid, tuloy – tuloy lang ang bunganga nito.

"Hindi, iyong boyfriend na nagkikiss sila!"

"Oh, Mom, do you kiss Papa?"

"What?"

"Joshua, please..." Parang nagmamakaawa na si Birada. And speaking of Papa, paglingon ko ay nakita kong pababa na si Uriel sa kotse niya. Kunot na kunot ang noo ng tatay ni Haniel, malamang natanaw na niya kami kanina. He half run and walked towards us, nang makalapit siya nang tuluyan ay kitang – kita ko ang sama ng mukha niya. Wala man lang hi, o kumusta, sinimulan agad niya ng:

"What the hell happened to my son, Saina?" He had a soft voice, soft enough for Haniel not to worry but I know that tone. He, then looked at Birada. "Who the hell are you?" Hinawakan ko siya sa braso.

"Kumalma ka, Uriel, utang na loob." Nakangiti ako sa kanya pero mariin ang mga salitang binibitiwan ko. "This is Atty. Jose Gerardo Birada, and his son, Joshua – Haniel's best friend." Binigyang diin ko ang salitang best friend for him to get the message. Jusko, buti hindi bobo si Uriel, kumalma naman siya. Nakipagkamay pa nga siya kay Birada.

"Ay, may Daddy ka?" Tanong bigla ni Joshua.

"Yes! Daddy! Look, I have a cast!"

"I see it, kiddo." Uriel leveled with our son. "But we need to get it checked again, alright, to make sure that you're gonna be fine."

"Mommy said that Hanhan will be fine."

It's really cute how Joshua calls me Mommy.

"Oh, he will be alright, baby love. Now we have to leave but we'll see you again tomorrow, okay?"

Kumapit si Joshua sa tatay niya. I smiled at him and then when I looked at Birada I nodded at him, nauna na silang umalis. Naiwanan pa kami nila Uriel sa may parking lot. Iniinspeksyon pa ni Uriel ang kamay ng anak namin.

"What happened?" He looked at me. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I texted Avery." Simpleng wika ko.

"Ave—" Napapikit si Uriel na para bang yamot na yamot na. "Saina, let's get this straight, I am Haniel's father, Avery is my wife, ang lahat ng tungkol kay Haniel ay concern ako."

"Avery is your wife, of course she'll tell it to you."

"She's with her father and the twins. I was in our company all day, I will drop everything when it comes to the kids. What happened to my son?"

"Well, he fell from the tree but I plan to take him to the hospital to make sure that he'll be just fine. I'll take Haniel with me, ha? Convoy na lang tayo papuntang Varess Med." Wika ko sa kanya. Kinuha ko ang kamay ni Haniel, he even waved at his father.

"Saina, text me when it comes to Haniel. Palagi na lang si Avery ang kausap mo, you always talk to her, what the hell is happening?"

I looked at Uriel.

"Calm your tits, Uriel. It's just me." He shook his head. "But then, thinking about it." Inilapat ko ang dalawang kamay ko sa tainga ni Haniel para hindi niya marinig ang sasabihin ko.

"What?!" He hissed.

"If I think about it, I'd do your wife. She's hot. Wanna hit that too."

"Fuck, Saina!" Pulampula ang mukha ni Uriel – hanggang leeg pa nga. Tawang tawa naman ako habang papasok ng kotse si Haniel. Pikon na pikon si Uriel.

xxxx

THE doctors told assure Uriel and I that my precious boy is gonna be alright. Hindi naman daw malala ang pagkakabali ng kamay ng anak ko. He just needs to be in cast for three weeks, tapos ibabalik namin siya rito pagkatapos noon for a follow – up check-up. Buong pagkakataong nasa ospital kaming dalawa ay hindi ako masyadong kinikibo ni Uriel, inis na inis siya sa akin talaga, ako naman ay tatawa – tawa lang. Bahala siya sa buhay niya, mula noong high school hanggang ngayon, pikon pa rin si Uriel.

Kahit na noong nagpaalam na kaming uuwi, ni hindi niya ako tiningnan, he hugged and kissed Haniel, siya pa nga ang naglagay ng seatbelt noong bata pero talagang dedma lang ako. Okay lang naman sa akin, Uriel will get over his ego, saka isa pa, I will never do that to him, he's the father of my child and we're in so much better relationship now, I will never ruin it. I had my fair share of experiences with men and women, I was a lost soul, nagwala talaga ako noong pinilit ako ni Papa kay Miguel, bago ako sumuko, nagwala muna ako – but then I didn't like the person I became so I gave up and came home, agreed to marry Miguel but at the end, Uriel got me pero hindi rin naman kami naging end game.

We arrived at our unit after twenty – minutes, mabuti na lang at malapit lang sa ospital ang residential building namin. I told Haniel to rest first, I'll help him clean later, ipaghahanda ko muna siya ng light dinner. While I was in the kitchen, naramdaman ko ang presence ng anak ko. I looked back at him, he was silently sitting at his chair in our dining table.

"What is it, honey?" I asked while chopping the ham.

"Mommy, can I still be friends with Joshua?"

"Of course. Why did something happen?" Iminuwestra niya ang kamay niya. "Oh, diba, sabi ko naman sa'yo, everything is okay? I'm not mad, you father isn't mad too. I think Joshua is a great kid, isn't he you best friend?"

"Yes. He's really kind." Napakamot ng ulo si Haniel. "But at times I don't understand half of what he's saying. He speaks Tagalog so fast, like earlier while we were crying, I didn't understand him."

"And that's okay, Bub. You'll learn to understand him, but now, try to speak and understand by heart."

"Okay, Mommy. Can I ask something again?"

"Sure, baby."

"Can I play with Joshua on the weekends? I promised him I'll invite him over." I wasn't really paying attention because at that moment, I was busy checking the bread I put inside the air fryer, so I just said: Yes, baby love ko."

And I only realized what happened right after I already said yes.

"Yes! I can tell him already! We'll ask his dad to take him here, Mommy! You can be friends with him too! Uncle Gerry is a kind fellow! He did a magic trick on me the first day of school!"

"What?! Wait! Love! Bub! Honey! Haniel Peter! Let's talk about this again! Haniel!"

I didn't have the heart to take back what I said. Ang saya – saya ng anak ko. He was giggling all night, kahit natutulog na kaming dalawa ay nakangiti siya, so maybe I just have to endure a day of seeing Jose Gerardo Birada outside of work. Hindi naman siguro siya nakakainis pag hindi kami sa work nagkikita.

Dala ko ang kaisipang iyon hanggang kinabukasan sa trabaho, Miraculously ay wala si Papa nang araw na iyon, hindi na rin ako nagtanong sa sa mga team niya, basta ako ginawa ko na lang ang trabaho ko. I was busy the whole morning until the afternoon that I have forgotten to eat lunch. Nang tumingin ako sa oras ay mag-a-alas dos na pala ng hapon.

I was thinking between eating and just drinking coffee when I was startled by a knock on my glass door. I looked and I saw the chewing gum guy – mukha na naman siyang nakakainis with his Gucci suit, Italian shoes and gelled hair. Tumaas ang dulo ng labi ko.

"I'm busy, what do you want?" Hindi siya nagsalita. Narinig ko na lang na may kung anong inilapag siya sa may table ko. Napilitan akong tingnan iyon.

I saw a lunch box, may kasamang orange juice na nasa pack at isang pack ng gummy worms.

"The juice and the gummy are from Joshua. There's a note in there. I'm sorry if he keeps on calling you Mommy. It might feel a little bit uncomfortable for you."

"N-no..." I am flustered. Hindi ko inaasahan ito. "It's okay. He's a kid. He's cute." I forced a smile. Nanginginig iyong kamay kong kinuha iyong note na nakalagay sa ilalim ng gummy worms.

Thank you so much for letting me play with Hanhan this weekend, Mommy. I love you.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. My heart melted. The kid is affectionate too – just like my Haniel and he keeps on calling my precious boy Hanhan and that's so cute too.

"Uhm, can I take your picture?"

"What?" Napatingin ulit ako kay Gerry. "Why?"

"Makulit si Josh, gusto niya ng proof. Hindi niya ako titigilan hangga't hindi siya nakakasiguro na nakuha mo ang bigay niya."

"I see. Well then, sure." I smiled while holding the juice and the gummy worms. Gerry took a picture and then showed it to me. I nodded as approval. I looked at the lunch box on my table.

"Is this for me too?"

"Y-yeah... I cooked that... this morning. Your EA said you haven't eaten. Don't worry, walang lason iyan. It's just a simple thanks for treating my son the way you did. I really appreciated it."

"You're welcome, Chewing gum." I flashed him my sweetest smile. Napapailinmg na lumabas siya ng office ko. I sighed. Pwede naman palang i-off niya iyong nakakainis niyang ugali.

Yes, maybe I can endure the coming Saturday. Basta naka-off ang bwisit niyang ugali.

I stared at my lunch box, I've decided to open it and was amazed upon seeing what's inside.

Akala ko simpleng kanin at ulam lang. It's a bento box.

The rice is shaped like a panda face, there are watermelon cats inside, the sausages are like rabbits and the meatballs are like pigs swimming in red sauce. There are also vegetables in different shapes.

Noon ko naramdaman na gutom na pala talaga ako. I started eating and while munching, I saw Birada standing near my door peeking, nang makita niya akong nakatingin ay umalis siya. Natawa naman tuloy ako.