Warning: talk of abuse, suicide, and shooting

"Hey, Jack." Eli knocks on my bedroom door and watches as I sit up and rub my eyes. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, what's up?" I swing my legs over the edge of the air mattress and stand, stretching my arms towards my legs before straightening up.

"It's about before." He leans against my door frame and starts twisting his fingers around each other. "When I was in the hospital."

"Why don't we go sit down?" I walk towards him and usher him into the other room, flipping on the back light to avoid waking anyone up.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" He doesn't sit down even when I do. "If I did you can go back to sleep, this can wait-"

"Elijah." I reach out and take his hands in mine. "I was already awake. Sit down before you start pacing."

"It helps me think," he says, sitting down a seat away from me anyways. I frown at the gap between us but don't say anything or move closer to him. "The first thing I wanted to say is that I'm sorry for doing it. It was selfish and you wasted your time on me."

"It wasn't-"

"Please let me finish before you say anything." He holds a hand up, looking down at the ground. "I don't know what was going through your mind or how you reacted when you first heard the news, but hearing your voice tell my mom that she didn't show up to the hospital when I had- when I was unconscious hit something. I could hear the tears in your voice, even if you weren't actually crying."

I reach out and grab one of his hands, squeezing it gently. He exhales and nods, squeezing it back.

"I could hear the pain in your voice when you said those last two words." He draws his hand out of mind and folds his hands together. "I tried to take my own life because I came out to my mom that night over dinner, and- well, you saw how she reacted. Called it a delusion. When it was that night, it was worse. She yelled at me for hours and then stormed upstairs, spitting out how she wanted to choke me. I thought she would accept me, Jack. She had never hinted that she was homophobic or transphobic so I thought I was safe, but she wanted to kill me.

"She and my dad own guns and I can't tell you how terrified I was that I'd wake up with a gun pointed at me. I thought that if I was going to die, I'd do it on my terms. In that moment, I was telling myself that no one loved me, no one would care if I died right then and there, so I took the pills and the razor- I woke up in the hospital. I was so upset that I had failed to do this one simple thing. I've been thinking over and over and over again since I woke up in the hospital how I could finish what I started."

Eli's name falls from my lips with a strangled breath. He glances up at me, then jumps to his feet and starts pacing back and forth in front of the couch.

"And then you guys confronted my mom and I realized that you really did care- all of you care. Those thoughts have been coming in less and I've been able to really think these last few days and I've come to the conclusion that I- I don't want to die, I want to start living. I wanted to talk to you about this because you deserve to know. I heard from a nurse that you barely left my side, so I figured I should tell you about it."

"Can I hug you now?" I stand up and open my arms, wiggling my fingers. He stops pacing and walks up to me, letting his head drop onto my shoulder. "I just want you to know that I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you told me all of this and I'm proud that you're going to fight the battle in your head."

"I really don't deserve you," he mumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rest my head on top of his and smile softly.

"Do you think I can sleep with you tonight?" He looks up at me, a soft expression on his face. I nod and take a step back. "Thanks."

"Of course." I reach out and take one of his hands in my own, bringing him back to his room. He climbs onto his bed and throws the covers back, patting the space next to him.

"Thank you, Jack." He reaches out and rests a hand on my cheek once I'm lying beside him. I smile and copy his movement, tracing his nose with my thumb.

"Goodnight, Elijah." I move my arm to rest over his waist. He smiles and closes his eyes, falling asleep within minutes. I fall asleep soon after, barely conscious long enough to register pulling Eli closer to me.

"Wake up, lovebirds!" The door hits the wall and I look over at the doorway, where a certain obnoxious menace is located.

"Fuck off," Eli calls, throwing a pillow over his face. I glare at Jaxon before moving the pillow off of Eli's head.

"No suffocating, Lij."

"What did you just call me?" Eli's eyes snap open. Our eyes meet and I laugh as he blushes and glares at me.

"Aw, they cuddled-"

"Isaac if you value your life you will go away." I sit up and narrow my eyes at me brother. He shrugs then yelps as Felix wraps an arm around his waist and drags him away.

"Sorry!" Felix calls. "Go back to bed, I'll make sure my monkey doesn't bother you."

"And I'll make sure mine doesn't either." Hudson appears out of thin air and pulls Jaxon out of the doorway, flashing me an apologetic smile. "You two can resume cuddling now."

"Well, that was fun while it lasted." Eli tosses the blanket off of him and gets up, cracking an elbow and both of his wrists. "I'm so glad our friends are very calm in the morning."

"You and I are the only ones who aren't morning people." I stand and lean over, kissing his cheek. "Good morning, by the way."

"Morning."

"Would you like breakfast? Actually, don't answer that." I hold up a hand as Eli opens his mouth to respond. "You're eating breakfast."

"Fine, whatever."

"And take off your binder when you change, please?" I hover in the doorway, scratching my neck. "I know you're only supposed to wear it for a maximum of ten hours and I also know you've been wearing it much longer."

"I'm leaving it on."

"Leave it on and I'll take it away the next time you take it off."

"Fine!"

I duck out of the room mere milliseconds before a pencil hits the door right where I was standing.

"Love you!"

Eli's response is closing the door in my face. I shake my head and jog upstairs, knowing he's going to go right back to sleep the second he hits the pillow.

"Is Elijah up yet?" Mom glances up at me then back down at the waffle batter. "Does this look good to you?"

"I mean he got out of bed but I'm pretty sure he's asleep again at this point." I grab a cup from the cupboard and step over to the fridge. "Also, looks good."

I pour myself a cup of milk and sip it while watching my mother to make sure she doesn't screw something up.

"I did it, Jack!" She drops the waffle onto a plate, grinning triumphantly. "I didn't burn it!"

"Cheers, Mom." I raise my cup in a toast and nod at her. "Now just do that until you have enough waffles for-"

"Are you kidding me?" Mom's hands drift down to her hips. "Our deal is I cook until I get something right, then you cook the rest. Don't try to get out of this."

"Okay." I laugh and set my cup down, crossing the kitchen in two strides and taking up the waffle batter.

"Oh, you're done for the morning already?" Dad walks into the kitchen and grabs a coffee mug. I turn around after closing the waffle maker and watch them kiss each other in greeting.

"Get a room."

"We do," Dad chuckles, wrapping one arm around Mom's waist. "We have this one. And the living room. And yours. And the guest bedroom. This entire house is our room, actually. Is our son-in-law up yet?"

"Hm? Yeah, Felix and Isaac are getting dressed right now."

"No, not Felix," Mom jumps in. "Our other son-in-law. Eli."

"I- you- will- no!" I splutter, frowning as my parents burst out laughing.

"Morning." Eli nearly trips over the top step, adjusting his hoodie. I grin and gesture for him to come over. He obeys and lets his head drop onto my shoulder, yawning.

"Did you take it off?" I whisper. Eli sighs and nods.

"Wish I didn't." He pulls the hem of his hoodie down. "I feel uncomfortable."

"It's just for today, alright?" I kiss the top of his head. "You can put it back on tomorrow- and you will follow the guidelines. You don't and I'm taking it away."

"I know." Eli picks his head up off my chest and kisses my cheek. "Thanks for making breakfast."

"Oh yeah." I turn around and open the waffle maker, nodding in satisfaction at a perfectly done waffle. "Nearly forgot. That would've been bad, I could've turned into my mom!"

"Hey!" Mom exclaims as Dad laughs. "Are you laughing at me, mister?"

"No, not at all." Dad clears his throat as I refill the waffle maker and close it. "I love you."

"Maybe tomorrow we can go on a date?" I turn around and lean against the counter, looking at Eli. He smiles and nods, taking one of my hands in his own.

"I'd like that."

Question of the chapter: are you a morning person? I am not in the slightest.