Lizzie

"You're going to be so hot, girl," Tammy says as she takes a drink of her rum and Coke. I wish she wouldn't drink in the day. I know Brandon and Denver are, but that's only a couple of beers. With Tammy, you never know if she's just going to carry on drinking somewhere, maybe end up in a dive bar. I feel responsible for her in so many ways, as does Lilly.

"That's the idea," I say, keeping an eye on Brandon as I speak. He is trying to pretend he isn't listening, but he is. I am also questioning how this happened. How did I go from being the girl that hung out with Brandon, climbing trees, playing knock on the door and running when we were five and six? The girl who held him as he cried when he lost his pet dog, Boo-Boo, when he was eight and the girl who used to play on the swings in the playground with him, to this girl-woman who wants to feel him inside her?

There is no guidebook on growing up; there is no guidebook on this kind of emotion. I wish there fucking was. I wish there was someone I could talk to about what I'm going through and how I'm feeling.

I can't exactly talk to Lilly and Tammy; they'd just take the piss, and what would be hyper embarrassing is the fact that Brandon doesn't feel the same way about me.

Especially not as I can see him now turning behind him to watch some leggy brunette walking past our box. He swivels to get a better look at her. Fuck, that makes me feel sick and jealous, like a knife through my heart. She's tall like a model and slim; her hair hangs down to her butt, and she is walking with swaying hips. I bet she's doing it on purpose. What the fuck is she doing up here anyway unless her daddy has a box or she could be one of the event people?

In any case, Brandon is now getting up out of his chair.

My heart constricts; I know he's going after her to ask for her number or to set a date up. I want to vomit. I've come over all hot; my heart feels as if it is being squeezed so hard.

"You okay?" Lilly asks, concerned. I'm not okay, no; he hasn't even waited for the game to end. Denver is still on tenterhooks, just in case the out-of-towners score another point; they got a sneaky one in, and he almost wept.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I say. Who am I trying to kid as I watch Brandon's back as he goes through the door? I hear him call out.

"Hey, cutie." Okay, now I feel like I'm going to vomit. I want that to be me. I want him to call me cutie.

"You don't look okay." Says Tammy after she's knocked her drink back. I hope she won't continue to drink today. I'll suggest she comes back to mine with Lilly and me. In fact, we haven't even done the bookshop yet. Never mind, we'll go next week. It's already hitting four in the afternoon, and Nina will have our dinner ready by six.

"I'm good. Just a bit queasy. Perhaps it was the burgers earlier."

"Yeah," Lilly nods her head. "You did eat two." She smiles.

"Probably. Look, as soon as the game is over, I'd like to go back home. Why don't you both come over? I can check with Nina and ask her to cater for two more. Mom and dad won't mind." As distracted as I am with Brandon now leaning against the glass in our private box, chatting to leggy-brunette, I still want to make sure that Tammy doesn't do anything reckless.

"Can't. My folks are back; they flew in late last night. Apparently, they're staying for a week or two. Willow is excited as hell and though I don't really give a flying fuck about seeing those two, I ought to stay at home and make the effort. I mean, they did come after all." Her voice is resigned. It'll do her good to try, and I hope her parents will make more of an effort too. At least they're staying for a couple of weeks. Usually, they fly in and back out to another exotic destination within a few days.

"That's really good, Tammy." Bless Lilly, she's just so sweet and always the hopeful one. I give her a little hug just for being so damn cute.

Brandon is now resting his left hand on the girl's right hip. I almost choke; I hate it when I see him in action. She's twirling her hair around her finger. Yep, he's baited her, hook, line and fucking sinker. That means he won't be over tonight to watch movies with me. I feel like crying; the lump in my throat is so big it's literally killing me.

He kisses the side of her face. Tammy and Lilly follow my gaze. "You ought to tell him how you feel." Lilly's voice is soft and gentle; it makes me choke up even more.

"Don't be so stupid; he's a grown man, and besides, what do you mean by how I feel? There isn't anything I feel other than pissed off; he's such a guy-whore. Why can't he just find a girl and stick with her for a while? He's going to end up with some nasty disease one day." Lilly's mouth drops open. Tammy giggles.

"You so do fancy him. Admit it. You're crushing on your best friend."

Denver screams, hollers, and yee-haws at our team winning. He stands up, grabs Lilly and plants a big kiss on her lips, picks her up and twirls her around. Brandon comes dashing back in and slaps Denver on the back.

"Way to go." He says and finishes the beer he left on the table.

"We fucking stomped the ground, man." Denver puts Lilly down, who looks bewildered at his sudden actions, and the man hugs Brandon.

"We fucking did," he says.

"We're going," I say, standing up. Brandon raises his eyebrows. "What? We've watched the game with you; it was a blast, and now the girls and I are going back to mine." I gather my purse as does Tammy and Lilly theirs. He squints his eyes at me. I want to slap him. Why? Because I just do.

"I'm guessing you're not coming over tonight since you've lined up your next lay. See you around."

"Hey, Lizzie." He reaches out to touch my arm; I shrug him off.

"Leave it, Brandon. Go be a guy-whore-slut." He whistles. Denver looks shocked; I don't usually talk like this, but I'm fueled with hurt, rage and jealousy that it's creating some kind of animal-monster inside me.

"C'mon, girls." Tammy clicks her fingers.

"You gotta control that. Don't lose him as your best friend. You hear me?" She whispers in my ear as she guides me out of the box. Leggy-brunette is hanging around outside, scrolling on her phone. Tammy brushes past her on purpose, knocking the phone out of her hand and onto the floor.

"Oops." She says. Lilly rolls her eyes.

This pain inside me is fucking bad.

So. Fucking. Bad.