Lizzie

The rest of school was a drag only because I wanted to know what the hell Brandon was really up to. I bet it had something to do with Tammy. I've called her a couple of times, but it's gone to voicemail. She will call back when she is ready. My instinct is to go over to her house after dinner and sod the assignment and movies with Brandon. I know he's my bestie, but right now, Tammy needs Lilly and me more. We're her closest friends.

I wonder if her parents even bothered to get back to her and how little Willow is doing. She's such a beautiful and happy child, that it saddens me to think her parents will be too busy for her as she grows up. Right now, she seems unaffected, as she has many nursery school friends and a nanny who dotes on her. Then she does have Tammy, Lilly and me. We all love Willow; it would be difficult not to. However, we cannot replace her parents, although part of me reasons that what you've never had, you cannot really miss.

I'm just lying on my bed waiting for mom to call me down for dinner. I haven't even changed out of my school clothes into my baggies and a comfortable, favourite t-shirt. Literally, I am just lying on my bed with my arms behind my head and staring at the ceiling.

It's not dark enough for my fairy lights to come on, so there isn't much to really look at, other than the perfectly flat white ceiling where the lights are strewn across. I close my eyes and exhale. It's been a rough day, not as rough as it has been, no doubt, for Tammy. A tear trickles down my cheek. I love her like a sister; life is such an utter bitch sometimes. It can really suck.

My phone beeps; I slide it off my bedside table, which has five books on it I'm currently reading. I am a bit of a mood reader and can have at least five books on the go at one time, ranging from romance to thriller and the odd crime book thrown in. Brandon always takes the piss out of me and wonders how I don't easily get confused by the characters, places, or plots. I wonder this too, but as soon as I pick a book up, I'm instantly transported to the place, situation and characters; I get attached to them. I'm always so invested in my characters; it's crazy. When I've finished reading, I reckon I suffer with dissociation disorder because I feel almost gutted, like I've ditched my besties.

My screen shows it's a message from Brandon and I also have one from Lilly I didn't realize had come through. Reading Brandon's first, I prop myself up and fluff the two cushions behind my head so I can lean up more as opposed to lying almost flat.

Brandon: Running late, Lizzie. Be there around 9p.m.

Me: Sure np. What are u up2????

Brandon: Practice is running on a bit; we should be done in an hour, and then I'm meeting Denver real quick. We need to go and see someone about something.

Well, that sounds a bit ominous, and why isn't he telling me who, where and why? It's not like Brandon to hide anything from me. He tells me everything. There isn't anything that the two of us do not know about each other, including our thoughts.

Me: Well, tell me who and what's it about. You tell me everything usually.

Brandon: Not this time, Lizzie. It's business. We're taking care of some guy business. Catch you later.

There's no point in me messaging back because I already know from his tone that it would be pointless. He's not going to respond, and besides, he's back on the field if this was his break. At least he let me know he was going to be late. Maybe I should message him to say not tonight for meeting up at mine. My heart is with Tammy and more than anything, I want to be near her to comfort her.

"Lizzie, dinner." My mother calls up the stairs. I need to check my messages from Lilly first.

"Sure, be right down, Mom. Give me five." There is no response; she's probably already made her way back into the kitchen to take our dinner through to the dining room. Sometimes my mother dispenses with the help she has around the house and likes to do these sorts of things herself.

Lilly: We ought to go over and see Tammy. What do you reckon? Besides, apparently Denver and Brandon are going off to see someone.

Me: Yeah, Brandon messaged me to say he and Denv' are off to take care of business. I hope this doesn't mean what it sounds like. I'm worried about them.

Lilly: Me too, honey. So Tammy's??

Me: Absolutely. Let me eat first; Mom has just called me, then I can pick you up? I'll be about half an hour.

Lilly: Np xx I'll come and get you in thirty. I have to eat anyway xx see you soon, darlin' xx

I place the phone back on my bedside, swing my legs off the bed, open the bedroom door, and make my way downstairs, where the smell of something delicious hits my nostrils. My stomach churns. Lunch was hours ago and I forgot to eat anything during late afternoon recess. My stomach gnarls and physically hurts; I'm pretty sure some of this is nerves. I'm really concerned about what Brandon and Denver are up to.

"How is Tammy?" My mother asks. It's just the two of us for dinner; my father is travelling and won't be back until tomorrow night.

"Lilly and I are going over after dinner. She's coming to collect me."

"That'll be good to see, Tammy sweetheart. Take her some chocolates, flowers, or a teddy. You know, something to cheer her up a little bit. That poor girl, I can't even imagine what she has been through or how she feels." My mother's grey/blue eyes look so sad. I know she's thinking that it could easily have been me. Only I am not stupid. I wouldn't ever take a drink from anyone other than my best friends. Nor would I take pills or even touch alcohol. It's not on my radar. I can't even stand the smell of it, it makes me feel like puking my damn guts up. How people can do this to themselves is beyond me. I'd rather give it a miss.

I just don't get why some of my friends and the kids in senior year, drink themselves to oblivion, act like dicks then turn up in class the next day looking like utter shit, moaning they feel sick and have a really bad-ass headache. Insane!

"Good idea, Mom. We'll get her some chocolates on the way. We can pop into D'marts for something lovely for her."

"And how was school, or silly question?" She feigns a half-smile, but when one of your good friend's daughters has just been date raped, a smile is hard to bring to the fore.

"You know. It was okay. We didn't really feel like it much today. All I could think about was Tammy and wanting to be with her. It was lovely of Brandon's mom to go to the police with her and stay with her all day."

"She's a real good mother." My mom says just toying with her food. Like me, she doesn't really feel like eating much even though my stomach says otherwise.

"Just like you, Mom." I reach across and squeeze her hand. Mom does smile this time and her face is so beautiful when she smiles. She has high cheekbones and looks like a model. Dad always says that he's the luckiest man alive.

I do manage to eat some of my baked chicken dinner and a few vegetables, but honestly, I can't face it. Mom has only eaten half her dinner, then starts to get up and clear away.

"I'm going to get ready, Mom, for Lilly to pick me up. She'll be here soon." I help her carry plates into the kitchen as she takes in the condiments. As I said, she has given the staff the night off tonight. It's cozy just the two of us, only I wish it was not with a cloud over our heads that feels like it is going to engulf us.

How on earth must Tammy be feeling?