Chapter Four: Pay attention to me

(Warning: Sexual content: masturbation.{It might suck...}Also I use the term 'mix-match' but I'm not completely sure that's how you say it, sorry for my poor English!)

It was peaceful, laying in the warmth of my bed sheets and having the warmth of the sun in my back, sleeping shirtless was probably the best thing in the world. My limbs stretched out comfortably along the foam-King Size mattress, tangled in the duvet cover, my chest buried in the bedsheets. I enjoyed the silence of the mornings in my neighbourhood, it was peaceful and calming on the weekends, during the weekdays it'll make you feel energised from the activities of others. I don't know how to properly explain it other than mornings here are always good, the night being just the same, there wasn't as many lights in this town, so the stars shone brighter. With my window being right next to my bed, which was pressed up against my nightstand, I had a clear view of the stars. You can even make out a few constellations, but only the simple ones for my dumb mind, I enjoyed everything about my room. Expect for the fact that it was located right next to Mikasa's, who was currently banging at my door to wake me up. The only downside to mornings at my house was that you had a person-like-alarm clock that wouldn't shut the fuck up. Let me tell you, how utterly annoying that is, especially being that she's still pissed with me and refuses to show even the smallest amount of hospitality.

I rolled over on my side and groaned loudly, burying my face into the duvet cover and brought a throw pillow atop my head and tried to cover my ears. I didn't want to get up, Saturday is supposed to be the day I am allowed to lay back down and rest my feet, but since I'm so fucking stupid, Saturday is now the day of studying. Rereading the exact same equations over and reviewing books for English class, if I didn't get it then why would I get it now? I know for a fact that I'm probably going to get distracted or bored, and then afterwards I have to go with Mikasa to get my pills to help control my anger outbursts, and it's all just-ugh! I groaned loudly to catch Mikasa's attention, thankfully it works but she only bangs harder, I felt like the slapping the shit outta her; but that's just my anger talking. In reality I want to hastily shove her body out of the window and resume sleepy as though it was another Wednesday morning and and I tried to sleep through it as if school didn't exist to bother my soul. Not that that's any better but in my opinion I'm not hitting her so it's not as bad, but at the rate of her banging on the door, I might just go to jail today. "What is it?!" I say loudly, throwing my pillow at the door as if it were her, my body sighing in defeat as sleep seemed too distant to try to catch up on. 

"Get your hormonal ass out of bed, you have to be at the library by twelve o'clock." Oh dear, you see that's not going to work, that's too early.

"Excuse me," I start and glare at the door as if she could see the angered expression I wore as a result of her actions, somewhere in my dense conscious I know Mika just wants the best for me, but disruptions in my mornings are like killing a puppy; that's a poor and over used comparison but none the less it's true. "I need sleep to focus." I argue back lazily and move into sitting position on my warm bed, I yawn and scratch the back of my head slightly hunched over, I reached for the ceiling to stretch out my body. I could feel my muscles roll beneath my skin as I stood up and moved my shoulder, I padded over to the door and unlocked it, quickly it swung open hitting the side of my face. I heard a gasp and quick foots steps before I felt a tight hold on my shoulder, I held my cheek and complained to Mikasa as she tried to exam my face.

"You need to be more careful! What's if you broke your nose?...or lost a tooth!" She shouted at me, at me...she was blaming me for her forcefulness, just beautiful. She sighed when I glared at her, pulling myself on my feet and moving my jaw around to make sure it was hurt too badly besides the huge bruise that's going to surface tomorrow. "Next time just get up when you're supposed to and maybe you wouldn't have gotten a hurt..." She sighed, I let her exam the skin once more before she smacked me on the back of the head and sighed, she took me by my shoulders and faced me. "I forgive you, you egotistical boy." I smiled for two reasons, 1: no more harsh and rough mornings or treatment and 2: I won't have to feel bad anymore, at least I know she doesn't hold it against me.

"Really?" I asked like a little kid, I hated getting her upset, for my personal health reasons and for my stupid state of mind.

"Yes, don't make me regret it--"

"I won't! You can kiss her all you want! Just don't have sex in front of me." I say cringing at the thought. "I'd prefer not to see my si-"

"Understood." She interjected, a small blush dusted over her face making us both laugh, I didn't think she was the kind of person who blushed but look, here she is flustered and all. I looked over at the clock that read '9:25' I have at least two hours and thirty something minutes until I have to sit down and listen to the same old lectures I ignore in class. The only upside is probably the fact that I'll get to see Marco, for the simple reason that I genuinely wonder how he's doing and all, he should be out of the hospital today according to Ms. Zoë and it's actually pretty reassuring to know I helped someone other than myself. "I'm going to go and make breakfast, so please Eren, take a shower." She said patting my shoulders making me cackle from her words, I nod my head and pick a fresh set of clothing and undergarments and make my way into the bathroom. Quickly I strip myself of the clothes and step into the shower, hissing at first from the cold temperature before reaching over and turning the nozzle towards the direction labelled 'H' to represent Hot. I sighed remembering the events from a few days ago such as my time in school, the bad grades, the weed, the poor boy named Marco, the cops, Mikasa...and that person that was merely a silhouette. Quite possibly just an imaginary person my mind made up, I was in some shock, not enough to need to go to the hospital though. However, the thought of their figure drove me mad, their hips and thighs look perfect from the distance, just imagining them on their knees before me. The fucking thought made my heart race and my little friend stand tall, I couldn't handle it, just the thought of me thrusting into them or having their hopefully soft and easy to squeeze thighs spread open and the lewd expression on their face.

"Sh-shit..." I say from behind clenched teeth, moving my hand at an agonisingly slow pace and biting my lips, using my thumb to give attention to the tip made me let out a chocked moan. "Oh...fuck~" I tighten my grip and started to speed up my strokes as a cold-fire spread throughout my lower region, I press the slit with my thumb and relish in the feeling of pins and needles, the muscles of my thigh at tightening as I made harder strokes. My breathing coming out in choppy pants and free hands gripping to the railing Mikasa had installed, I threw my head back as the blissful feeling of release washed over me. You that feeling right? When you hold you pee for way too long and when you finally do it's like the best thing in the world. That's what this feels like, except eight times better, I lean against the hot shower wall and sigh. The steam raising to my face as the hot water beat against the cold shower walls.

"Eren?" A distant voice calls out. "Breakfast is ready, hurry up." I curse under my breath realising I spent most of my time on touching myself, with no regrets, without cleaning myself. I reach for the nearby bottle of soap, which happens to be a bottle of Old Spice Connie bought me for an early Christmas present, and washed my body quickly yet thoroughly. I wash my hair with the product, to lazy to reach for the shampoo Mikasa insists I use and wash my hair. I turn off the shower and rush to dry myself.

"Alright," I start with a shout back, "I just need to dress myself." I hear silence as I quickly throw on my cloths, a deep navy blue short sleeves tee-shirt with black cargo pants and a black beanie, my shoes were down stairs so I slipped on my mix-matched socks and made my way down the stairs after shoving my dirty clothes into the wash bin and my towel along with it. I sat down at the table and reached for the fork as Mikasa sat before me, sliding me the glass of milk and rice omelette, I began to eat my food as she gasped. "Wha--?" I question through a mouthful, picking up the glass of milk to wash down what's left over in my mouth, she shoves her phone dramatically into my face stands up.

"It's Annie!" I roll my eyes and chuckle, at her behaviour, I guess I'll have to endure my homo sister since I love her. I set my fork down and clasp my hands together, a dramatic sigh leaving my lips.

"Oh isn't she just lovely, Mikasa?" I coo making her lips crack into a smile, it's small but to be able to get Mikasa to smile means something. Plus, I love Annie when she gives me the weed, oh yes the good stuff. As Mikasa types away and place my dish into the sink and quickly clean it before gulping down what's left of my milk and rinsed that out, being to lazy to clean it thoroughly.  Quickly I race up the stairs and swing the bathroom door open and proceed to brush my teeth, upon finishing Mikasa calls out to me, warning me about our time limit. I dry my mouth and race back down the stairs, nearly slipping from my socks on the hard and polished wood surface, however I do manage to make it down without breaking my face and quickly tie my military boots and pulled the bottom of my pants over them. I walk towards the car and go to yank open the door when it doesn't budge, I peer into the window and notice that the short blonde hair girl in the drivers seat isn't Mikasa. And the feisty freckled female next to her doesn't seem to happy about what I did, I rush away from the car and walk over to where Mikasa stood laughing next to the similar car. I wanted to brutally beat the freckles bitch for glaring and slap my sister for laughing, but they'll both probably kick my ass, so that's a no go.

"I've lost all faith in you my dearest little brother." She cackles and steps into the side of the drivers seat, I followed suit and sat in the passenger seat and groan, shoving my hands into my face. I groan loudly making her roar with laughter at my ability to be stupid.

When the car halts to a stop before the library at 11:52, I prayed Mikasa would go mom mode and refuse to leave me here, but the exact opposite as she forced me out of the car and towards the building. "Go." She orders.

"What if I end up lost." I say, bringing up a possibility that'll make her flip out if it ever happened.

"No, go inside." She pushed my shoulders softly and began to drag me.

I gasp for breath dramatically and face her. "What if I fall, and worse what if I get hit by a car when I'm leaving." She rolls her eyes, and groans.

"Remember dummy, I'm picking you up after school, so we could get your meds." I glare at her for remembering such information, I look at the library doors and stop waking Right before the step. They're just three of them, but that's all I need to fall and break a bone, not really but I could at least twist my ankle; plus I'm not about that life.

"Look at all these fucking stairs, Mika." I whine. "Too much work to climb and walk, I don't have the time fore this." I say and throw up my hands in defeat, I attempt to walk back towards the car when I hand grabs the side of my face and pulls me back, the strong wrench over shoving me on my ass but I manage to stay on my feet. "Mikasaa..." I whine as she shakes her head no and hands my my rucksack, I furrow my brows and grab it, I don't remember picking it up.

"You were going to forget it because you're as stupid as everyone says." I glare at her as she wore her every so inventive stoic expression and walked up the steps.

"I hate you." I call out as she shakes her head.

"I love you also." She calls back out making me laugh as I push past the heavy wooden door that lead into the library building. As the door swung closed gently a gust of wind blew towards the entrance and a heavy scent filled my lungs, it was a comforting scent, the scent of fresh books and cold crisp air brushed over me as I walked further into the library. I craned my neck to peer over people so I could try and spot Marco out, there wasn't many people here, barely any actually but the titan like bookshelves blocked the people who were here. When you walked in you see the dark green carpet and to the left is a large desk where the librarian sat, and before you where two separate bookshelves and expended to their sides by other book cases and went at least another five bookshelf's deep. However, the first two bookshelf's you see was separated greatly to allow walking space, and that's what I did. I sped down the walkway and towards the valley of tables, upon reaching them, I stood still and scratched around until my eyes landed on a freckled and bruised face with an arm wrapped in cast resting in a sling. Marco. Quickly I walked in him direction, my shadow must have scared him considering he flinched when I loomed over him, when he turned to me he gasped with bright eyes and a pained smile. "H-Hi!" He tries to say and wobbles towards me, his eyes slightly glossy as he opens his arms to enclose me in a hug, of course I hug him back. I'm glad to see he's doing better considering the last state I saw him in was bloody, broken, and scared of everyone but Jean, Connie, and I.

"Hey...," I start as he winces slightly because his broken arm is in between us, "I'm glad to see you're a little better now." He wobbled back and I saw the Synthetic cast on his leg, he wiped his eyes with his hand before clearing his throat. He wiped his eyes again as more tears dripped out of the corners of his eyes, and now I am feeling even worse for him so I push forward and wrap him in another hug. "Hey," I press, seeing him cry a little brings back that day events and I don't want to think about that and catch an attitude for nothing, "you're okay now, I promise." I said as he smiled once again, he head nods against my chest and he pulls away. "You remember Jean, right?"

A small blush spread across his checks as he speaks. "Y-yes--." He cringed and held his throat and I panic.

"Hey, don't strain yourself, okay?" He nods his head as a response as we pull away again. "He wants to know if you're okay, are you?" He nodded his head with a blush and he looked down so his face was out of view, and as much as I wanted to cringe and scowl I couldn't bring myself to do it, he was like a little puppy, so how could I? His slightly smaller hand covered his mouth making me chuckle, I saw another hand touch the boys shoulder making him flinch and seek shelter from me, which I gladly provided.

"Marco?" Asked the soft voice, the boy uncurled himself and sighed in relief before nodding his head.

"So-sor--"

"Marco," the smaller male started, his body hidden behind the taller build of Marco, "don't stress yourself to speak." A small, and might I say feminine, hand stroked the side of his arm. The smaller figures eyes suddenly peered over Marco's shoulder with his eye brows raised with curiosity. "Marco, do you know this boy?" Marco nodded his head vigorously and pointed at me.

"H-he...save m-e, Ar--" Said Macro. As the person, whom I assume to be Armin since he was here was Marco and the injured boy almost said his name, spoke the the injured lad; I was too focused on the smaller figure who was now in view since Marco was forced to sit. His chin length silky blonde hair that made his big cerulean dough-eyes brighten, his very fair skin dusted over by light pink around his cheeks and extremely adorable button nose. His was skinny, but he had the curves of a women, his hips rounded and his waist slim. Holy hell this kid was so fucking attractive, to the point it made my stomach hurt, I wanted to get up hastily and slap him just for batting those thick long lashes as he asked me a question. 'I wonder what his skin feels--'

"Eren? You're Eren Jäger?" He asked, I cleared my throat and nodded my head, apparently during some point in my fantasy he had brought up a thank you for saving Marco so I spit out 'Y-you're welcome' like a douche. "Let's get started then." He adds with a bright smile, stretching those long and pale pink lips, his slender fingers reached out to shake my hand when Marco slipped so he quickly went to aid the freckled boy. Should I have been disappointed I never got to feel his hand? Probably not, that's gay so I quickly pushed the thought aside, but I couldn't help but let the agonising thought pull at me from the back of my mind. I wanted to feel his skin, but I'm not gay. 'So start fucking acting like it Jäger...' I sat down at the table and pulled out my books, as the tutoring went on and as the disgustingly beautiful boy tried I get me to listen I realised he made it hard to focus. His voice and scent, that's right scent, when I complained about not getting something he'd lean over the table or stand by me to personally point out what he was talking about. And I just couldn't get over the fact that a horrible feeling settled over me when Marco leans on Armin or when Armin spoke soothingly to Marck when someone stares at him for too long. I, myself, had to step in quite a few times to stop the people. When we parted ways I felt, almost disappointed yet relief washed over me, happy that I won't see him yet sad that I can be near him.

"How was tutoring?" Mikasa questions as I approach the car parked directly outside of the library, my expression effete and my limbs falling suit.

"Just fucking beautiful."