The songs for this chapter are:

Something Great- One Direction (this is my favorite song from the album)

Assassin- John Mayer

Can't love you back- Easton Corbin

Tessa's POV.

I can't help the anxiety that fills me as I drive through the campus. The Seattle campus is not as small as Ken had made it out to be.

 I try my best to prepare for this day to ensure everything goes as planned. I left two hours early to be sure I could make it to my first class on time. Half of that time is spent sitting in traffic listening to talk radio. I never understood the fad until this morning when a distraught woman called in and told the story of her best friend betraying her by sleeping with her husband. Through her tears, she held a certain amount of dignity, as much as one calling into a radio station to spill her secrets possibly could. She found humor half through the discussion and I found myself sucked right into her dramatic story.

By the time I stop by the Administration Building and retrieve my new student identification card and parking pass, I have only thirty minutes to spare. My nerves are stretched to the brim and I can't shake the anxiety of being late to my first class at this new campus. Luckily, I make it in time, with fifteen minutes to spare. As I take my seat in the front row, I can't help but feel a sense of loneliness, there was no meeting Landon at the coffee shop before class, and he doesn't hold the seat next to me now as I sit here remembering my first half year of college. 

 The classroom fills with students and I begin regret my decision to fill this semester's schedule with the least desirable courses on my degree plan. It sounded like a good plan, to take them now and get them over with, but as the classroom fills with all males except me and one other female, I wish I wouldn't have taken political science this semester.

A handsome boy with light brown skin sits down in the empty chair next to me and I try not to stare at him. His white button up shirt is crisp and perfectly ironed at the seams and he's wearing a tie. He looks like a politician, bright white smile and all.

"Can I help you with something?" He grins, his voice is full of authority yet charming at once. Yeah, he's certainly going to be a politician one day.

"No, sorry." I stammer, not meeting his eyes. I avoid looking at him and focus on taking notes,  reading over the syllabus repeatedly, and staring at the clock until class is dismissed.

My next class, Art History, is much better. I feel more comfortable surrounded by the casual crowd of art students. A boy with blue stained hair sits next to me and introduces himself as Michael. I am the only English major in the room but everyone is friendly and Michael has quite the sense of humor, he makes jokes during the class to keep everyone entertained, including our instructor.

Creative writing is last, and most certainly most enjoyable. It feels as if only ten minutes has passed before my professor releases us. The rest of my week comes and goes in this fashion. I feel as if I'm constantly waiting for something that never comes.

..

By the time Friday evening arrives I am exhausted and my entire body is tense. This week has been challenging, both positively and negatively. I miss the familiarity of the old campus and Landon being there with me. I miss Hardin meeting me between classes and I even miss Zed and the glowing flowers that fill the science building.

Zed.

I haven't spoken to him once since he stopped Steph and Dan at the party and drove me all the way to my mother's house. He saved me from further violation and humiliation and I haven't even thanked him. I put down my Political Science textbook and reach for my phone.

"Hello?" His voice sounds so foreign, despite the fact that it's been less than a week since I have heard it.

"Zed? Hi, it's Tessa." I chew on the inside of my cheek and wait for his response.

"Uhm, hey."

"I'm so sorry for not calling you to thank you sooner, I have been so busy this week, not that that's a good excuse. I'm a jerk, I'm sorry." The words rush out of my mouth and he interrupts me before I continue.

"It's alright, I know you had a lot going on."

"I still should have called you, especially after what you did. I'm so glad you were there." I tell him.

"Me too. Don't worry about it, you don't have to thank me."

"Yes I do! If you wouldn't have shown up, God only knows what they would have done to me." I shiver at the recollection of Dan's fingertips trailing up my thigh.

"Hey," he silences me. "I stopped them before anything could happen, try not to think about it."

"I know, it just really hurt me that Steph would do that. I never did anything to her, or any of you."

"Please don't include me with them."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean you were involved, I meant your group of friends." I apologize for my mouth moving before my mind has approved the words.

"S'okay." He mumbles. "Anyway, we aren't much of a group anymore. Tristan is leaving for New Orleans early, in a few days actually, and I haven't seen Steph on campus once all week."

"Oh," I breath. "I'm also sorry for accusing you of texting me from Hardin's phone, Steph admitted that it was her."

"I have to admit, I appeared to be the most likely to do that." He sweetly replies. "How is everything?"

 "Seattle is.. different." I tell him.

"You're there? I thought maybe since Hardin was at your mom's house.."

"No, I'm here." I interrupt him before he can tell me how, he too expected me to stay for Hardin.

"Have you made any friends?"

"What do you think?" I smile and reach across the bed to grab my half full glass of water.

"You will soon." He laughs and I join in.

"I doubt it." I think of the two women from the break room at Vance. Each time I see them, they seem to be laughing to themselves and I can't help but think they are laughing at me. "I really am sorry it took so long to call,"

"It's okay, stop apologizing. You do that too much."

"Sorry," I lightly smack my palm against my forehead. Robert and Zed both agree that I apologize too much, maybe they are right.

"Do you think you'll come visit anytime soon? Or are we still.. not able to be friends?" He softly questions.

"We can be friends." I remark, "but I have no clue when I will come visit." Truthfully, I wanted to go back home this weekend, I miss Hardin and the traffic-less streets of Pullman. Why did I just call it home? I only lived there six months.

It's because of Hardin, wherever he is will always feel like home to me.

"Well that's too bad. Maybe I will make a trip to Seattle soon, I have some friends there. " Zed tells me.  "Would that be okay?" He asks after a few seconds.

"Oh, yeah! Of course."

"Okay," he laughs. "I'm flying down to Florida to see my parents this weekend, I'm running late for my flight actually, but maybe I could make a trip to Seattle next weekend or something?"

"Yeah, sure. Just let me know. Have fun in Florida." I say just before I hang up the phone.

Mere seconds after the call with Zed has ended, my phone vibrates on my stack of notes. Hardin's name appears on the screen and I take a deep breath, ignoring the flutter in my chest, I answer.

"What are you doing?" He asks immeditaly.

"Uhm, nothing."

"Where are you?"

"Kimberly's house, where are you?" I saracastically respond.

"Home. Where else would I be?"

"I don't know, the gym?" Hardin has consistantly been going to the gym, every day, all week.

"I just left there, now I'm home."

"How was it?"

"Same." He curtly remarks.

"Is something wrong?" I ask him.

"No. I'm fine. How was your day?" He is quick to change the subject but I don't want to push him, not with the phone call with Zed weighing on my chest already.

"It was okay. Long, I guess. I still don't like my political science class." I groan.

"I told you to drop it already, you can take another class for your history elective." He reminds me.

"I know, I'll be okay." I assure him.

"Are you staying in tonight?" He asks me, caution clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm already in my pajamas."

"Good." He says. I roll my eyes.

"I called Zed, just a few minutes ago." I blurt, I might as well get it over with.

Silence looms on the line and I wait patiently for Hardin's breathing to slow.

"You what?"

"I called him to thank him for.. last weekend."

"Why though? I thought we were.." his anger is barely controlled as he breathes heavily into the receiver, "Tessa, I thought we were working on our problems."

"We are but I owed it to him. If he wouldn't have shown up when he did,"

"I know." He snaps.

"He said he was thinking about visiting." I don't want to argue with Hardin but I can't expect anything to change if I keep things from him.

"He's not coming there. End of discussion."

"Hardin.."

"Tessa, no. He isn't. I'm doing my best here, okay? I'm trying really fucking hard not to lose my shit right now so the least you can do is agree with me."

"Okay." I sigh in defeat. Spending time with Zed cannot possibly end well for anyone, Zed included. I can't lead him on again. It's not fair to him and I don't think Zed and I will ever be able to have a strictly platonic relationship, not in Hardin's eyes, or Zed's.

"Thank you, now if it were always that easy for you to comply,"

"I will never just comply Hardin, that's,"

"I'm teasing, no need to get all pissy." He remarks. "Anything else I should know about while you're at it?"

"No."

"Good, now tell me what happened on that shitty radio station you've become obsessed with." I can hear his smile through the phone as I go into detail about a woman looking for her long lost love from high school, while pregnant with her neighbor's child. Hardin laughs along and I close my eyes and pretend that he's next to me.

Hardin's POV.

"I'm sorry." Richard breathes. A layer of sweat has taken over his entire body as he wipes his vomit from his chin. I lean against the doorframe and debate whether or not to walk away, leaving him in his own filth.

He's been doing this all day, vomiting, shaking, sweating, whining.

"It will be out of my system soon,": he leans back over the toilet and expels more vomit. Fucking great. At least he made it into the toilet this time.

"Hope so." I turn around and leave the bathroom. I open the window in the kitchen, allowing the cold breeze to snake in, and grab a clean glass from the cabinet. The sink creaks as I turn the faucet to fill the glass and I shake my head at myself. 

What the hell am I supposed to do with him? He's detoxing all over my god damned bathroom.

With one last sigh, I take the glass of water and a sleeve of crackers into the bathroom and place them on the rim of the sink.

"Eat these." I tap his shoulder and he nods. His skin is pale and clammy, it reminds me of clay.

I don't actually think eating crackers will help him but the possibility is there. "Thanks." He finally groans and I leave him alone to vomit all over my bathroom.

This bedroom, my bedroom isn't the same without her. The bed is never made correctly when I climb into it at night. I've tried time and time again to tuck the corners of the sheet into the bed frame the  way Tessa does but it's just not possible. My clothes, clean and dirty, are scattered across the floor, empty water bottles and soda cans clutter the end tables, and it's cold. The heat is on but the room is just.. cold.

I send her one last text message to wish her goodnight and close my eyes, praying for a dreamless sleep, for once.

"Tessa?" I call from the hallway, announcing that I'm home. The apartment is quiet, only soft sounds fill the air. Is Tessa on the phone with someone?

"Tessa!" I call again and turn the doorknob. The sight in front of me stops me dead in my tracks.

Tessa is sprawled out on the white duvet, her blonde hair is matted to her forehead from sweat and her fingers are gripping the bed with one hand and raven hair fills her other fist. As she rocks her hips, ice replaces the hot blood pumping through my veins.

Zed's head is buried between her  creamy thighs, his hands roam her body.

I try to move toward them to grab him by his throat and throw him against the wall but my feet will not move. I try to scream at them but my mouth will not open.

"Oh Zed," Tessa moans and I cover my ears with my hands. It doesn't work, her voice travels straight into my head, there is no escaping it.

"You're so beautiful," he coos and she moans again. One of his hands travels up to her chest and he runs his fingertips over her while his mouth is pressed against her.

I'm frozen.

They don't see me, they haven't even noticed that I'm here. She calls out his name once more and when his head lifts from between her thighs, he finally sees me. He keeps eye contact with me while his lips run up her body, to her jaw, nipping along the way. My eyes won't leave their naked bodies and my insides have been ripped from my body and tossed onto the cold concrete. I can't bear to watch this but I'm forced to do so anyway.

"I love you," he says to her while smirking at me.

"I love you too." She whimpers. Tessa rakes her nails down his tattooed back as he thrusts into her. Finally, my voice comes as I scream, silencing their moans.

"Fuck!" I scream out and grab the glass from the nightstand. With a crash, the glass shatters against the wall.  

(Hey guys! I hope everyone had a great weekend! For those of you who watched 1d day, I hope you loved it! I didn't get to see all of it but I watched it on and off. I also saw Catching Fire last night and it was amazing! Have you seen it? Anyway, please vote, (if you do I'll double update :) xo