Tessa's POV.

The morning light sweeps over the room as the sun rises in the distance. My eyes move from the uncovered balcony doors to my stomach where Hardin's arm is draped over my body. His full lips are parted, soft purrs sound from between them. I don't know whether I should shove him off of the bed or brush his brown hair back from his forehead and press my lips against the reddened skin.

I'm angry, so damn angry at Hardin for everything that happened last night. He had the audacity to return to the cabin at one in the morning and just like I expected his breath was laced with liquor. Yet another string in this tangled web. Then there is a girl, a girl like me he claims, that he spent hours upon hours with. He said they were talking, it's not that I don't believe that they were only talking, it's the fact that Hardin refuses to discuss Seattle or anything remotely related to Seattle with me but he seems to be able to talk to her.

I don't know what to think and I'm sick of thinking all the damn time. There is always some problem to fix, some argument to have, and I'm tired. Tired of all of it. I love Hardin more than I can comprehend but I don't know how much longer I can do this. I can't worry about him coming home drunk every time we have a problem. I wanted to scream at him, throw a pillow at his face, and tell him how big of a jerk he is, but I'm finally beginning to realize that you can only fight with someone over the same thing so many times before you are burnt out.

I don't know what to do about him not coming to Seattle but I do know that lying here in this bed isn't of any help to me. I lift Hardin's arm from around my waist and wriggle out from under his weight then gently lay his arm across the pillow next to him. He groans in his slumber but thankfully he only stirs and doesn't wake.

I grab my phone from the bedside table and quietly pad to the balcony doors, they open with minimal noise and I let out a relieved sigh before closing them behind me. The air is much cooler than yesterday, granted it's only seven in the morning.

With my cell phone in hand I begin to ponder my living situation in Seattle, which at this point is non-existent. My transfer to Seattle is becoming more of a hassle than I ever anticipated and honestly at times, like right now for example, it seems more of a hassle than it's worth. I scold myself for entertaining the thought. That's exactly what Hardin is trying to do, he's trying to make it as difficult for me to move as he possibly can, hoping that I will give up and stay with him.

Well that's just not going to happen.

I open the browser on my phone and wait impatiently for Google to open. I stare at the small screen waiting for the annoying circle to stop going round and round. Frustrated at the slow response of my ancient phone, I tread back into the bedroom and grab Hardin's phone off of the chair and go back to the balcony without waking him.

I know he's going to be angry with me if he wakes up and finds me on his phone but he has no reason to be. I'm not going through his calls or text messages; I'm only using his internet.

"Yeah, she's okay," his words play through my mind as I try to search for apartments in Seattle.

I shake my head, disposing of the memory and admire the luxury apartment on the screen that I wish I could afford. I scroll to the next, a smaller one bedroom apartment in a duplex. I don't feel comfortable in a duplex, I like the idea of someone having to go through the lobby to come to my door, especially since it appears that I'll be alone in Seattle. I swipe my finger across the screen a few more times before finally finding a one bedroom in a mid-size high-rise. It's over my budget but not by much. If I have to go without groceries until I get settled in I will.

I save the phone number into my phone and continue to browse through the listings. Impossible thoughts of searching for an apartment with Hardin haunt me. The two of us would be sitting on the bed, me cross-legged, Hardin with his long legs stretched out in front of him and his back against the headboard. I would show him apartment after apartment and he would roll his eyes and complain about the process but I would catch him smiling with his eyes focused on my lips. He would tell me how cute I am when I'm flustered before taking the laptop from me and assuring he will find the place for us.

That would be too simple though, too easy. Everything in my life was simple and easy up until six months ago. My mother helped me with my dorm and I had everything sorted and in order before I even arrived at Washington State. My mother.. I can't help but miss her. She has no idea that I have reunited with my father. She would be so angry, I know she would. Before I can talk myself out of it I'm dialing her number.

"Hello?" She answers smoothly.

"Mother?"

"Who else would it be?" I'm already regretting this phone call.

"How are you?" I ask quietly.

"I'm good, I've been a little busy with everything going on," she sighs. I hear pots and pans clanking in the background.

"What's going on?" Does she know about my father? I quickly decide that if she doesn't, now isn't the time to tell her.

"Nothing specific really, I've been working a lot of overtime and we got a new pastor, oh and Ruth passed away,"

"Ruth Porter?"

"Yes, I was going to call you," her cold voice warms slightly.

Noah's grandmother Ruth was one of the sweetest women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. She was always so kind and next to Karen, she made the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet.

"How is Noah doing?" I dare to ask. He was very close with his grandmother and I know this has to be hard for him. I've never had the chance to get close to any of my grandparents, my father's parents passed away before I was old enough to remember and my mother's parents were not the type of people to allow anyone to get close to them.

"He's taking it pretty hard. You should call him Tessa,"

"I.." I begin to tell her that I can't call him but I stop myself. Why can't I call him? I can and I will. "I will, I'll call him now,"

"Really?" The surprise is evident in her voice, "Well at least wait until after nine," she reminds me and I can't help but smile at her tone. I know she's smiling on the other end of the line. "How is school going?"

"I'm leaving Monday for Seattle," I confess and I hear something clutter to the ground.

"What?"

"I told you remember?" I did, didn't I?

"No, you didn’t. You mentioned that your job was moving there but you never told me you were leaving for certain,"

"I'm sorry, I have just been so busy with Seattle and Hardin,"

"He's going with you?" Her voice is incredibly controlled.

"I'm..I don't know," I sigh.

"Are you okay? You sound upset."

"I'm okay," I lie.

"I know we haven't been on the best of terms lately but I'm still your mother Tessa. You can talk to me if something is going on in your life,"

"I'm fine really; I'm just stressed over this move and transferring to a new campus,"

"You will do great there, you would excel at any campus,"

"I know but I'm already so used to this campus and I got to know a few of the professors and I have friends..a few friends," I don't really have friends that I will miss terribly except Landon and Steph but mostly only Landon.

"This is what we have been working toward for years and look at you now, in such a short period of time you've accomplished it. You should be proud of yourself." I'm surprised by her words and my mind rushes to process them.

"Thank you," I mutter.

"Tell me as soon as you move into your place in Seattle so I can come visit since you obviously won't be visiting home any time soon," she says.

"I will," I ignore her harsh tone.

"I'll have to call you back, I have to get ready for work. Make sure you don't forget to call him,"

"I know, I'm going to call him in a few hours,"

A movement on the balcony catches my attention and I look up to see Hardin. He's dressed now, in his normal black t-shirt and black jeans. His feet are bare and his eyes are focused on me.

"Who was that?" He asks the moment I end the call.

"My mother," I respond and pull my knees up to my chest in the chair.

"Why did she call?" he grabs the back of the empty chair and it squeaks as he pulls it closer to me before sitting down.

"I called her," I answer dryly.

“Why is my phone out here?” He grabs it from my lap and scans over it.

“I was using the internet,”

“Oh,” he says as if he doesn’t believe me. If he doesn’t have anything to hide why would he care? "Who were you talking about when you said you were going to call him?" he asks.

"Noah," I respond without looking at him.

"Like hell you are," he says, his eyes narrowing.

"I am," I challenge.

"Why do you need to talk to him?" He places his hands on his knees, "You don't."

"So you can spend hours with someone else and come back drunk but.."

"He's your ex-boyfriend," he interrupts.

"And how do I know she isn't one of yours?"

"Because I don't have any ex-girlfriends, remember?"

I huff in frustration, my earlier resolve has now faded and I'm getting angry again.

"You don't get to tell me who I am allowed to call. Ex-boyfriend or not." I warn, my voice low and clear.

"I thought you weren't mad at me?"

"I'm not, I'm really not. You did exactly what I expected you to do," I sigh, staring out onto the water and away from his piercing green eyes.

"And what was it that you expected?"

"For you to run off and be gone for hours then return with liquor on your breath,"

"You told me to leave."

"That doesn't make it okay that you came back drunk,"

"And here it is!" he groans, "I knew you wouldn't stay quiet like you did last night,"

"Stay quiet? See that is your problem, you expect me to stay quiet. I'm over it,"

"Over what?" He leans over, his face too close to mine.

"This," I wave my hand dramatically and stand to my feet, "I'm just over all of it. You go ahead and do whatever the hell you want but you can find someone else to sit here and be quiet because I'm not doing it anymore," I turn away from him.  He jumps to his feet and hooks his fingers around my arm to pull me back.

“Stop,”  he orders. His large hand spreads across my waist while the other holds my arm in place. He pulls me to his chest and I push at him in protest.  “Stop fighting me, you’re not going anywhere.”

His lips press into a hard line as I pull my arm from his grasp. “Let me go and I’ll sit down,” I huff. I don’t want to give in but I also refuse to ruin anyone else’s time on this trip. If I go downstairs Hardin will surely follow and we will end up fighting in front of his family.

He swiftly lets go of me and I plop myself into the chair again. He sits down next to me and stares at me expectedly with his elbows on his thighs.

“What?” I snap.

“So you’re leaving me then?” he whispers and my harsh demeanor softens.

“If you mean leaving to Seattle,  yes.”

“Monday?”

“Yes, Monday. I’ve gone over this with you again and again. I know you thought that little stunt you pulled would discourage me,” I seethe, “But it didn’t and nothing you can do will.”

“Nothing?” he looks up from me through his thick lashes.

“I’ll marry you,” he told me while he was drunk. Does he mean it now? As much as I want to ask him right here, right now, I can’t. I don’t think I’m ready for his sober answer.

“What is it in Seattle that you’re so apt to avoid?” I ask. His eyes dart away from mine.

“Nothing important,”

“Hardin, I swear if there is something that you’ve kept from me I will never speak to you again.” I say and mean it.

“It’s nothing Tessa, I have some old friends there that I don’t particularly care for because they are part of my old life,”

“Old life?”

“My life before you, the drinking, the parties, fucking every girl that passes my way,” he says and I cringe, he notices.  “Sorry,” he mumbles and continues. “There is no big secret, just bad memories. That’s not why I don’t want to go anyway,”

“Then tell me because I don’t get it.”

“Why do you need an explanation? I don’t want to go and I don’t want you to go without me.” His face is devoid of any emotion as he looks into my eyes.

“Well that’s not enough of an explanation. I’m going and you know what? I don’t want you to come with me anymore,”

“What?” His eyes darken.

“I don’t want you to come,” I stay as calm as possible and stand up from the chair. I’m proud of myself for having this discussion without yelling. “You have tried to ruin this for me, this has been my dream since I can remember and you tried to ruin it for me. You’ve turned something that I should be looking forward to into something that I can barely stand. I should be excited and ready to go, instead you have made sure I have nowhere to live and no support system at all. So no, I don’t want you to go.”

His mouth opens and closes before he stands and paces across the wooden deck, “You..” he begins then stops before continuing, “you... you know what Tessa? No one gives a fuck about Seattle except, who the hell grows up planning on moving to Seattle fucking Washington, real ambitious,” he growls, “and in case you forgot I’m the only reason you have that opportunity to begin with. You think anyone else is getting a paid fucking internship as a freshman in college? Fuck no! Most people struggle to get a paid internship even after they graduate so you should be kissing my god damned feet for getting you that fucking job, you ungrateful little,”

I take a step toward him and my hand flies up between us without my mind’s permission. He is too quick and grabs me by the wrist, stopping me only inches from his cheek.

“Don’t,” he warns, his voice sends chills down my spine and I wish he wouldn’t have stopped me from slapping him. His minty breath fans across my cheeks as he tries to control his temper. Bring it on Hardin, my subconscious challenges him while searching for her boxing gloves.

Neither of us says a word as he lowers my hand and turns on his heel to walk away, leaving me absolutely fuming.

…

“Are you sure this looks okay?” I ask Landon as I stare into the long mirror.

“Yes, it’s fine. Can we try to remember that I am a guy,” he smiles and I sigh.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s not my fault you’re my only friend.”

The black sparkling dress feels odd against my skin, the material is hard and the small beads scratch against my skin as I move. The small clothing boutique in town didn’t have much to choose from and I surely wasn’t going to pick the hot pink dress made entirely of tulle.  I need something to wear to this dreaded dinner tonight and Hardin’s suggestion that I wear jeans isn’t going to work.

“Do you think he will even come back before it’s time to leave?” I ask Landon.

Hardin took off, as always, after our fight and hasn’t been back since. He hasn’t called or text either. He’s probably with the mystery girl who he loves to discuss our problems with.  In his anger, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did something with her to spite me.

No, he wouldn’t.

“I don’t know honestly. I hope he does, my mum will be disappointed if he doesn’t.”

“Yeah,” I push another pin into my bun and grab my mascara off of the counter.

“He’ll come around, he’s just stubborn,”

“I don’t know if we will,” I sigh, sweeping the brush across my lashes. “I’m reaching my breaking point, I can feel it. You know what I felt last night when he told me he was with another girl?”

“What?”

“A little anger, that’s it. It’s like I am numb to it now, to all of it. I just don’t have it in me to keep doing this over and over. I’m beginning to think he’s a lost cause and that breaks my heart,” I say, forbidding myself from crying.

“He’s not a lost cause, he just thinks he is so he doesn’t even bother to try sometimes. “

“Are you guys ready?” Karen’s voice calls from the living room and Landon assures her that we will be down any minute. I slide on my new pair of black heels with straps at the ankles, unfortunately they are as uncomfortable as they look. It’s times like this when I miss wearing toms every day.

Hardin still hasn’t returned by the time we pile into the car. “We can’t wait any longer,” Ken’s jaw is set in a disappointed frown.

“It’s fine, we can bring him something back,” Karen sweetly offers, knowing that’s not the solution but she’s trying her best to resolve her husband’s irritation.

Landon looks over at me and I offer a smile to assure him that I’m fine with Hardin’s absence.

The restaurant is exquisite. The building is a massive log cabin, big enough to be a lodge, and the inside contradicts the woodsy feel out the outside appearance. It’s modern and sleek, black and white everywhere with gray accents along the walls and floor. The lighting is right on the verge of being too dark but it adds to the appeal.  My dress is the brightest thing in the room, when the light hits the glittering beads they shine like diamonds in the dark and everyone seems to notice.

“Scott,” I hear Ken tell the beautiful woman behind the podium.

“Your party is already here,” she smiles, her white teeth nearly blinding in the darkness of the place.

“Party?” I turn to Landon and he shrugs.

We follow the woman to the table in the corner of the room. I hate the way everyone seems to be staring at me because of this dress. I should have gone with the hot pink monstrosity, it would have attracted less attention. A middle aged man knocks over his drink as we walk by and Landon pulls me closer to his side as we pass the creep. The dress isn’t inappropriate; it rests just above my knees. The problem is that the dress was made for someone with a much smaller bust than me, making the built in bra work as a push-up bra, giving me maximum cleavage.

“It’s about time you join us,” An unfamiliar male voice says and I peer around Karen to look for the source.

The man who I assume is Ken’s friend stands to shake his hand. My eyes move to his right, his wife is smiling, greeting Karen. Next to her is a young girl, the girl, and my stomach drops. She’s beautiful, extremely beautiful and she’s wearing the exact same dress as I am. Of course.  I can see the bright blue hue of her eyes from here and when she smiles at me, she’s even more beautiful. I’m almost too distracted by my growing jealousy to notice that Hardin is sitting right next to her, dressed in a white button down shirt.

(You guys are hilarious, I loved all the responses I got to my question about Zed hah. The spacing on this chapter may be a little weird, it looks odd on my screen and I tried to fix it but it still looks off so if so I'm sorry for that! Let me know what you think and all your theories, some of them are insane hah in a good way lol! I love you all!  and don't forget to vote! xo)