Night fall comes quickly.

Their routine is the same as before, quiet polite conversation flows between them. Josh doesn't stop asking him if he's okay, if he needs something. Tyler's okay. He doesn't need anything. They eat on opposite ends of the fire and Josh's face gets hit with the smoke more than once but he doesn't move. Tyler assumes it's his pride.

He's tired, his body aches, he's mentally exhausted.

When they both start yawning and sleepily trying to stay awake, Josh decides to put out the fire. It's small at this point so he ends up using a bucket of water to put it out. Tyler stays and watches this time so they can go in the tent together.

Josh is shutting it closed once they're safely inside. There's an unspoken tension about who's sleeping where tonight but Tyler is already gravitating towards the mattress and sitting down. "I'm so tired." He yawns. "Considering we barely even did anything."

Josh nods and starts going through his things, back to Tyler. "By next week you'll probably be full of energy. You just need to get more adjusted."

"You're right." And then he relaxes completely, shutting his eyes, curling in on himself for a moment. Taking what time he needs to recollect. When he looks up Josh is pulling off his clothes, layer after layer, he doesn't notice Tyler's eyes on him, his mind is far away somewhere else, clear in the way his eyes focus on nothing.

Tyler watches, fingers twirling around a piece of his hair.

Watching Josh change isn't something he means to do but once he's looking, he can't look away.

His pants disappear first, they don't reveal skin, but a pair of tight long johns instead, Tyler stares at his crotch for a moment, he gulps. Josh throws his jeans to the side and is quick about the next 30 seconds. For Tyler it feels like 30 minutes, it's all happening in slow motion.

Josh's muscles tense when he pulls his sweater up and over his head, lean hard milky pale skin exposed to the barely there lighting of the flashlight they have pointing towards the sky. Tyler stares, watches as his abdomen contracts, stares at scar on his stomach, watches when he turns around, watches his back muscles flex and stretch. He hasn't been in such close proximity to anyone in too long, it's getting to him.

It's like a show that's only for him, except he hasn't actually been invited. He looks away when Josh turns back around with a thin long-sleeve on, it clings to him like a second skin. "Are you going to change?" He asks, an eyebrow raised, his voice raspy after a long day of talking. "You do have your own clothes now."

Tyler blinks and quickly looks away, fuckfuckfuck. "Oh, yeah. Right, right, clothes.........." He awkwardly trails off and crawls over to the end of the mattress and grabs his bag of clothes. Josh's body is engraved into his mind. His v-line, the thin line of hair trailing down from his belly button. He can only imagine what follows.

Shyly, he turns away from Josh when he changes. Turn-about is only fair but his scars, his fucking scars. even though Josh has seen them, he never wants him to see them again. It's embarrassing, weak. He doesn't want to be weak. So he hides. The fabric of his pyjamas is rough beneath his hands as he pulls them on as fast as possible. He kicks his boots off first, slides his pants down and slides his new sweatpants on.

Eventually he takes off Josh's hoodie for the second time that day and folds it, sitting on his thighs and laying it across them. Just like everything else it smells like camp fire but underneath all of that there's that clear smell of Josh.

Josh coughs from behind him. "You can keep it." He murmurs.

"Huh?" Tyler turns.

"The hoodie." Josh is sitting on the ground already, legs crossed, he's leaning back on the palms of his hands. He's been watching Tyler. Tyler blushes and picks at the fabric. "I have more." Josh murmurs.

Tyler smiles. "Thanks."

The shuffling of them getting ready for bed is the only noise for the next 5 minutes, Josh turns the flashlight off, Tyler finishes getting changed and they both try and get comfortable. Tyler can't pretend to be asleep again. So he doesn't, he keeps moving and shifting to make noise, to let Josh know he's awake.

Josh eventually huffs. "Sleep."

And Tyler stares at the top of the tent, one leg bent, the other shaking, it's a tick.

Talking, he needs to say something.

"Is the floor really that comfortable?" He asks quietly, there's no reason to whisper but he does anyways. The question hangs in the air like a weight, it's practically an invitation for Josh to get in bed with him

It's silent, except for the rustling of tree branches until Josh sniffs out a even quieter. "Yeah, it's fine. I'm used to it."

"Okay." Tyler says, folding his arms over his chest. "We can switch spots though." Or we can share. He wants to share, he wants to be the big spoon. "Or if you want, I can sleep there."

Josh is quiet again, gentle breaths. "No."
Tyler wants to apologize for no reason at all, Josh says. "Good night." And Tyler watches as he rolls over onto his side and cuddles into his pillow.

*

He sleeps restlessly, rolling around the bed, waking up at odd hours of the night before shutting his eyes again. When he actually wakes up he lets out a quiet groan followed by a yawn and then grabs the blankets around him. He pulls them up around him, tucking himself under them as he adjusts and tries to get comfortable again.

He can feel how early it is, he can see how early it is because when he cracks open his eyes for a short moment they fall on Josh. Josh who's still sleeping on the ground, body facing the opposite direction of him. He looks comfortable, all wrapped up in his own blankets, his feet sticking out at the bottom, his body curled.

Tyler rubs at his forehead with the palm of his hand and takes a deep breath before shifting around to lay on his stomach. As he twists his body around, the movement knocks the breath out of his lungs. Perhaps out of shock, maybe surprise.

"Oh," He breathes out, sharply, involuntarily. Shit. He tenses up for a second, daring himself to stay still, paralyzing his entire being for just a moment as he lets himself breathe. In, out, in, out, Tyler exhales and shifts his hips just in the slightest, pressing them forward into the mattress, just to see, just to feel. It feels good. "Fuck," He breathes out, slapping his hand over his mouth. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He hides his face in his pillow for a moment before making a decision.

Gently he turns himself back onto his back, using his hands to manoeuvre himself around. He tries to not make too much noise as he does it, and eventually he's on his back again, layers of heavy covers pressing down on his body. he pushes them down, tries to be quiet about it just in case but he makes a small noise when the blankets brush against his cock. He kicks the blankets the rest of the way down with his feet, shuffling them to rest at the end of the mattress.

Tyler hasn't touched himself in nearly half a year, he hasn't been able to get it up in months. He blames Dema, his countless failed escapes, the amount of discomfort he felt whenever he had the opportunity to masturbate. There was nothing arousing about living there, nothing safe, nothing good. A wave of relief seems to flood through him as he stares at his erection straining against his long johns.

He leans back against the pillow under him, tilting his head back with a sigh, he lets his hands rest on his stomach. His fingers twitch. His cock twitches.

Tyler looks at Josh as he slowly pushes his hand into his long johns. His breath hitches, his eyes flutter closed, Tyler lets his hand just rest there, fingers moving gently, slowly, up and down his dick, barely providing pressure. Barely providing anything. His eyes stare at the back of Josh's head.

It's a bad idea, it's a good idea, Tyler pulls his hand out of his pants with a quiet noise and sits up properly pulls to the blankets back over him, to provide safety. If Josh wakes up, Tyler can hide.

Safely hidden under blankets, Tyler is pushing down his pants to his ankles and spitting into the palm of his hand. "Okay," Tyler is wrapping a hand around his dick, wet with saliva and giving himself a gentle squeeze and a gentle pump.

Slowly, so slowly, he moves his hand up and down his cock. Like he used to, except he can't watch, he keeps his eyes on the ceiling. And he breathes into the crook of his left arm at first, willing himself to be as quiet as possible as his right hand gets faster, as pleasure melts him into the mattress, as his thumb swipes at the top of his dick to collect pre-cum. Tyler trembles.

He lifts one of his legs, bends it at the knee while the other lays there numb, toes curling. His hips twitch and will him to push his cock into his hand harder, he does, his whole body moves with the moment and shit, Tyler whines and slaps his hand over his mouth. The concept of sound is hard to understand, he has no idea how loud he's being and he doesn't want to care but he's looking at Josh as he jerks off now and he has to care about wether or not he wakes him up because of this.

wet, slick, hot, Tyler speeds up his hand and does all the things he knows he likes. He stays quiet but he's panting, inevitably. Still, he shakes and wants to cry a little bit as his orgasm builds up slow, slowly, slowly and his toes are curling and his eyes are locked on the back of Josh's head.

Josh who's rolling around to lay on his back, Josh who's moving and might be waking up. Tyler flicks his wrist and moves his hand faster, his hips twitching, his body pressing for more, it doesn't take very long until he's turning his head to the side and hiding his face into his pillow as he comes all over himself with a gasp.

He pants into his pillow as he listens to Josh move around and shift a few feet away from him.

*

If Josh had heard anything, he doesn't mention it during the day and instead brings him on a hike through the mountains. There are other banditos and Tyler distances himself from Josh in favour of talking to someone else, it's nerve racking and Josh frowns at him for a moment but Tyler just shrugs and starts walking beside someone else. Tyler frowns when a girl runs up to take the spot beside Josh he had previously been occupying.

"Hi," He's walking beside a girl, blonde, sparkling blue eyes. "I'm Tyler."

She smiles at him and steps over a rock. "I know, Josh told me about you. I'm Jenna."

Tyler raises an eyebrow. "Josh talks about me?"

"Sometimes yeah, he's mentioned you a few times." She tells him, when Tyler slows down for a second, she touches his shoulder. "Nothing bad." Jenna smiles sweetly. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay." He shrugs, letting it go. "Where are we?"

"Right now we're in the forest but we're going to the cliff drop, it's nice up there I promise." Jenna says,' she looks at him with a tilt of her head. "Are you scared of heights?"

Tyler meets her eyes. "Not really."

"Then you should like it, it's a nice view."

"Is it dangerous?"

"It is if you stand near the edge, but we stay away from that. We've had a few accidents."

"Oh."

Jenna smiles. "We'll keep you safe."

Tyler smiles back, weakly.

*

By the time they've made it to the cliff, Tyler's panting and red in the face. Jenna is breathing a little heavier but otherwise looks fine.

Everyone scatters once they hit the top though and Tyler finds himself searching for Josh. He's not hard to spot considering he's the only person he recognizes.

He finds him sitting by one of the few trees up here, the woman he had been walking with directly in front of him as they speak.

Tyler thinks he might've been jealous had Josh not looked so bored and uninterested as he spoke to her.

*

A week passes by quickly. Tyler wakes up at noon and goes to bed at midnight. His days feel short but at the same time, so long.

He doesn't sleep well either, his nightmares are still consistent. So, he's restless and if Josh notices the bags under his eyes, he stays quiet. He's learnt that Josh doesn't ask a lot of questions, wether if it's because he doesn't care or is too polite, Tyler doesn't know but either way he appreciates it. He's never had so much privacy.

Tyler realizes he has a small staring problem halfway through the week, he constantly finds himself watching Josh. It's hard not to look at him though, he's the only person he's talked to so far and the only friend he has and he's cute, which is a bonus. At first he thinks he's only doing it because he's lonely and Josh is attractive and nice and touchy with him.

But it goes deeper then that when he starts noticing all the little things, the way he uses his entire face to smile, the way he fidgets, shakes, plans. Everything he does is so careful and calculated and Tyler only comes to realize it when Josh has to make leader related decisions. Josh thinks over every thing he does, every touch, every word. He gives off an intimidating exterior purely because he doesn't want to let himself be taken by surprise.

After that he notices it all the time. He notices everything Josh does to hold his ground and Tyler's sure he's never met anyone as interesting as him.

Despite spending all of their time together, they don't talk very much. Their conversations are civil and there's something's missing.

Tonight, he's tired, which isn't something new. Josh is sitting beside him instead of his usual spot: far away. It's comforting for Tyler and Josh knows it, especially because it's late. it's at least 1am, and they'd both realized after a few days of sitting around the fire and sleeping in the same tent that neither of them really fall asleep until around 2am, so without talking about it, they'd silently started staying outside until they couldn't bare it anymore.

The fires crackling tonight, they've had one every night since he arrived, it's not necessary but Tyler's grown accustomed to it and Josh seems more than happy to put one together for him. They could join the other banditos at the main bonfire but Josh never does and Tyler doesn't want to go alone.

He starts the night leaning on his knees and ends up on his back at some point, yawning, and bone tired. He had been ready to curl up on the ground and sleep by the open fire but then he'd looked up, squinted and: "Holy fuck." He can see the stars, milky colours painting across the sky and it's never been like this in Dema. So maybe this is why he's so amazed, in awe, eyes wide as they take in the sky above him. "Wow." He murmurs.

"What?"

"It's just,- the sky. It's never looked like this in Dema."

Josh smiles slightly and scoots closer beside him, Tyler tenses for a brief second before relaxing, he feels himself sink. "Oh yeah, the night sky is so clear over here. It's ridiculous."

"It's cool." Tyler yawns and stretches out, fingers touching dirt and grass and stones. He doesn't mind. "Do you ever sleep out here?" He asks quietly, keeping his voice just above a whisper.

"During summer," Josh tells him. He scratches the bridge of his nose, then his scruff. There's silence underneath the sound of the crackling fire. "Sometimes. It's good, it feels safe."

Tyler nods and stares into the darkness above them. He can hear Josh breathing beside him, hear him moving.

"Lie down." Tyler shuts his eyes, he can't look at him. Not right now. Dirt cakes under his finger nails, Tyler let's his legs relax, let's his limbs go as limp as they desire. This is what he needs right now and he caves.

He hears Josh go to answer, he expects the worst but then he hears shuffling and breathing and a body laying down beside him. He hears movement. He doesn't look but he knows, he feels him there, close, warm. Tyler is surprised but he doesn't mention it, there's no reason to.

"It's so quiet here." Tyler turns onto his side, just in the slightest. He twists towards Josh but his eyes stay closed, his eyelids are heavy and opening them feels like a greater feat than keeping them closed.

Josh makes a noise in response and Tyler breathes out, stretching his legs out. The flames of the fire lick at the bottom of his shoes and he's vaguely reminded of his childhood, or the parts he can actually remember. Which isn't much, he remembers having a fireplace though, he remembers it all being artificial. The ground suddenly feels cold. He opens his eyes, one at a time and looks at Josh.

His eyes are on the sky, arms folded behind his head like a pillow. He's completely stretched out, legs crossed, body lounged comfortably against dirt. Tyler takes a second to admire him, it's dark, it's really dark but the fire, despite being small, lights up his features. His eyes are soft, dark as they wander and his lips, Tyler can't stop looking at them as Josh breathes in and out. He's hard not to stare at.

Josh tilts his head then, moving to look at him and Tyler looks away with a small frown. Embarrassed. Josh is silent for a moment, Tyler watched him shuffle around and get comfortable through his peripheral vision all while he traces the shape of constellations with his eyes.

"Do you like it here?" Josh asks quietly. It's an easy question and the answer is so incredibly obvious he wonders why Josh is asking. Tyler can feel his eyes on him, he feels exposed.

"Yeah," Tyler shuts his eyes again, tiredly, his body wants to sleep. "It's good." It's safe.

"Good." Josh says. Tyler expects him to look away then, he expects him to roll back over on to his back and he expects them both to go back to silently star gazing. It's peaceful, comfortable, Tyler has never felt such a level of comfort in his life. Despite his expectations, Josh doesn't turn away. Tyler breathes in sharply when he feels Josh scoot himself closer, close enough that if Tyler rolled over to face him he could easily pull him into a hug.

"Did you want your own tent?" He asks, the words all come out in one go.

Tyler tenses for a moment, the answer falls off of his tongue before he can think of a better response. "No." He whispers.

"No?" Josh frowns for a moment, pushing himself up into a sitting position with palms of his hands to look at Tyler properly. It makes Tyler squirm, the way Josh looks at him, stares at him. He wants to hide. "No?"

"No." Tyler gulps, he throws an arm across his eyes, keeps it there and is vaguely reminded of his hand around his dick and his teeth biting st the crook of his arm.

"Okay." Josh is beside him, Tyler feels him touch his arm. Tyler tenses. "Why not?"

He takes a deep breath. "I'm not ready to be alone yet."

"Do you feel safe with me?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Tyler rolls onto his side, slowly, away from Josh and curls up, his eyes narrowing on the dark of the forest surrounding them. "Okay." He whispers, voice rasping. "Can we sleep out here?"

"No."

"Okay." Tyler shuts his eyes. "Maybe another day?"

"Yeah." Josh coughs out. "Eventually."

It's quiet again, Josh stops asking questions, Tyler stops talking all together and they just lie there in the silence. It takes another hour before either of them speak, Tyler had been on the verge of actually falling asleep when he heard Josh get up and say they should go to bed. So Tyler gets up and gets in the tent while Josh properly puts out their fire that had been in mere embers when he'd gotten up.

He sits on his bed, head between his legs in exhaustion as he waits for Josh to come inside. When he hears movement at the front of the tent his eyes snap up to look at Josh. Josh who's cheeks are pink from the cold.

"You okay?" Josh asks, pulling his jacket off as he starts slipping off his shoes.

Tyler smiles weakly, his mouth is dry. "Yeah,"

Josh nods and crouches down to sift through his things, Tyler doesn't bother moving. Theres no reason to, he shuts his eyes for a moment and when he opens them Josh is standing up and starting to pull off his clothes, layer by layer, Tyler doesn't bother looking away. He stares at his neck, his back, lower, lower, lower. His eyes follow the line of his body.

His eyes focus on him, everything surrounding them is a blur. And when Josh turns around, Tyler doesn't look away. He feels himself stop breathing for a second when he's met with the sight of Josh's torso, nipples. He's hairless, smooth all over.

"Tyler?"

Tyler looks up then, slowly snapping out of it to meet Josh's eyes. Josh is frowning. Josh's cheeks are pink. "Sorry," Tyler sniffs and rubs at his eyes. "Just a bit out of it."

"It's fine," He shrugs and pulls a sweater on, zipping it up to cover his chest. "You're alright yeah?"

"Uh-huh." Tyler smiles grimly and then turns his back to him to pull at his hoodie and lift it over his head. He sheds his layers of clothing just like Josh had, except he doesn't fold them and just lets them fall to his mattress instead. He can hear Josh behind him, getting ready for bed and he wonders if Josh is looking at him. He doesn't check though, he rushes through the rest of his routine. He pulls his pants down and his long johns down in one go, leaving him in his briefs and he climbs into bed.

He starts getting comfortable and only pauses when he hears Josh.

"You're going to freeze." Josh murmurs from across the tent, now on the floor, rearranging his pillow.

Tyler huffs out a breath, groans. "Right."

*

Tyler wakes up in tears again, immediately sitting up, Nico is here, the bishops are back, they've found him. His hands are trembling and his anxiety attack hits him full force.

Tyler doesn't expect it but it's overwhelming, something he's never experienced before, his entire body reacts, tears streak his cheeks, his hands search for something to hold and he can't find any air. He doesn't even recognize Josh getting up, he barely registers the quiet Tyler? What's wrong? or the oh shit, fuck, uh. It's too loud and too quiet at the same time and even with his eyes open, he can't see anything.

The tent goes blurry and everything feels sharper, each sound so much louder. His breathing comes from his chest, sporadic, all over the place. He's only vaguely aware of Josh standing beside the mattress.

"Can I touch you?" Josh asks carefully, crouching down to Tyler's current height. Hand on the space beside Tyler's thigh.

Words don't exist anymore, Tyler nods between harsh breaths, he can't move or speak but he nods, his heart is beating out of his chest and his entire body is static. He doesn't know what he needs and neither does Josh which explains how tentative he is.

A hand is placed on his shoulder first, Tyler feels it, registers it and he breathes out. "Look at me," Josh says, Tyler looks at him, it's too dark but he can make out his eyes. "Good, that's good. Now breathe in." Josh breathes in, he uses his whole chest. Tyler copies him and copies him again when he breathes out.

That starts a new wave of tears, Tyler's entire body crumbles, his entire demeanour and he falls forward into Josh's arms. Brokenly sobbing and breathing against his chest. Josh allows it and pulls him closer, sitting up onto the mattress so he can hold him properly.

"Heyheyhey, Tyler, stay with me." There's a hand on his cheek, holding along his jaw. Tyler shuts his eyes and follows Josh's breathing, he focuses on it again like he had before, Josh makes sure to do it loudly, dramatically.

The tears stop but there's not enough air and he's so light, so high. He needs something heavy, Josh seems to have the right idea when he pushes all of his weight onto him, arms wrapping around him in a tight hold. Tyler's entire body is buzzing, heavy but light. Josh gets completely on top of him, in his lap, fully sitting on his thighs, his legs crossed.

"Okay?" Josh whispers, his hold never faltering. He's in Tyler's lap, wrapping himself around him. Tyler feels grounded, Josh is like a weighted blanket and it's bringing him back down to where he needs to be, having him to his chest reminds him to control his breathing, reminds him his heart needs to slow down and so does the rest of him.

"We're gonna lay down now." Josh says, his words are clear. Tyler isn't very responsive, speaking doesn't come easily still but he lets Josh get him onto his back. And Josh rolls him onto his side and positions his legs so they're bent and the whole time, he's talking and explaining what he's doing. He's moving the blanket, he's touching his shoulder, his waist, Tyler i'm touching your hip, okay, and now your thigh, Tyler you're okay, good job, i'm moving your legs, he moves his legs. Tyler focuses on that.

Josh tucks him in, multiple blankets pile on top of Tyler. It's not enough, he's still floating. Josh goes to move.

"Don't." Tyler manages, Josh is still on the bed.

Tyler says. "Please." Josh says nothing.

Even with the lack of words and minimal indication of what he wants. Josh understands and gets into the bed without a second thought, Tyler's body is dead weight but he moulds to Josh's form and Josh moulds to his. He instinctively gets in behind him and wraps an arm around his middle, the other sliding underneath his pillow. The mattress makes noise with every adjustment and it helps, it helps, Josh helps more though.

They both pass out within minutes. Tyler is dead weight.

*

Tyler wakes up and Josh is still holding him, their ankles are hooked together, warmth radiates from Josh's body to his. He wakes up slowly, one thing at a time, he's drowsy and tired. There's a weight on his chest that's like no other and it's not from Josh's arm that's locked around him.

He panics and tries to sit up, he can't breathe. This wakes Josh up, he might've already been awake, Tyler doesn't know, but the moment he starts squirming Josh hushes him and holds him tighter until Tyler calms down.

He's tense in the arms around him, Josh's forehead is against his makes back, he's unbothered that they're cuddling, skin to clothes. "You're okay." He murmurs, and then. "Do you want me to let go of you?"

Silence eats the question and Josh starts to let go of him at his lack of consent, his hold loosening, his body pulling away. Tyler panics and pulls him back by his arm.

"No." Tyler feels safe like this, he is safe like this. He's never felt this grounded and close to the ground before. Josh is like an anchor that never stops sinking. "It's good."

Josh makes a little humming noise and says nothing else. Eventually, Tyler is eased back into his hold and his nerves slowly disappear and are replaced with a new type of anxious at the realization of how naked he really is. He lets go of the tense in his shoulders though, his back, his body. Limb by limb he falls back into the peaceful comfort he had been in before fully waking up.

He fully emerges himself into the cuddling, it makes him less anxious to be with Josh like this. Warm and comfortable under the covers. It's provides a level of safety and comfort he's never felt before. He doesn't remember much of last night, it's blurry, but he knows that Josh had taken care of him and eased him down from a panic attack without a second thought.

They don't fall back asleep, but they do shut their eyes and relax. At least until Tyler's stomach growls and Josh chuckles.

"You need to eat." Josh is soft.

He shakes his head. "Not hungry."

"How do you feel?"

"Anxious." Tyler mumbles and hides his face against a pillow.

Josh's hand moves up to his hand, just to be close, not to hold. He strokes up and down his arm. "You're still hungry even if you can't feel it." He whispers against the back of his neck, wether it be on purpose or just because he didn't feel like tilting his head away Tyler doesn't know, or care, what he does know is that it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "I'll grab you some water and something to eat."

He doesn't want him to leave him, he doesn't want Josh to stop holding him. Yet, Tyler says. "Okay." And then takes a deep breath.

Josh slowly lets go of him.

The rest of the day is spent in a foggy haze, Tyler helps Josh organize his tent after they eat breakfast together. He may not have felt the hunger but by the time he'd eaten everything Josh had given him he already felt a little bit better, stronger.

*

At night, with the sun set and the moon out they sit by the fire.

"Should I be scared?" Tyler whispers, poking at the embers with his stick, the fire crackles. The fear of being out is never ending for him.

Josh shifts beside him, their knees touch. "No, but-" He pauses, Tyler knows he's looking at him but he keeps his eyes on the fire, flames dancing in his eyes. "It's okay if you are, not everything has to be perfect."

"I dont want to go back." Tyler mumbles, resting his chin on his folded forearms.

"You're not going back." Josh reaches for his hand and grabs it, Tyler heats up. "As long as you want, i'll keep you safe and so will the rest of us. You're family now, you're apart of this and family takes care of each other."

Josh's touch is unexpected, Tyler expects him to pull away but he doesn't, not even when Tyler tangles their fingers together. "Thank you." Tyler mumbles, tiredly watching the fire. "Can you tell me a story?"

He can see Josh nod in his peripheral. "About what?" His voice is a mere whisper.

"Your time in Dema." Tyler blurts out, he squeezes his hand. "But i mean, only if you want to. i don't wanna force you."

Josh squeezes his hand back. "It's not a sore subject for me."

"And y'know; really It's not awful in there." He starts, slightly hesitant. Tyler turns to give him his full attention and Josh avoids the eye contact in favour of the open fire. "We're just all so used to it. Like, when you don't know anything outside of Dema and everything and everyone you know is there, leaving isn't even something you think of. It's not one of those questions."

"But what was outside of Dema was my biggest question. I grew up asking my parents about what was outside of Dema and at first they would just say nothing, Josh there's nothing outside of here, don't fret. Josh don't worry about it." Josh pauses and Tyler strokes his thumb across his knuckles. "I wasn't worried though, I wasn't scared. I was just curious, I wanted answers. And no one would give me them. When I reached 12 years old, I didn't stop asking. My parents decided to set up a meeting with Keons, to set me straight and mostly shut me up."

Tyler's eyes widened. "Holy shit."

Josh's laugh is humourless. "Once a week i'd go talk to him, it scared the shit out of me but instead of getting scared of what was outside, it was more like a wake up call. Why are they enforcing this so much y'know? I got smart after that, my family started getting aggressive when i came back more interested in leaving then ever. I figured out i needed to pretend that I wanted to stay there forever after my dad slapped me. So I did, then 5 years of me being the perfect child passed by. And I left on my own."

"How long have you been out here then? If you left when you were 17?"

Josh smiles. "Is this an indirect way of asking me how old I am?"

"Sorta." Tyler links their pinkies and squeezes. Josh does it right back.

"I'm 26, I think. I stopped keeping track of my birthday a while ago."

"I don't even know what month it is anymore." Tyler leans back on his palms. "Escaping over and over again and feeling dead as you get dragged back kind of messes with your mind."

"You put up a good fight though." Josh looks at him, a soft, gentle look.

Tyler returns it, he scoots closer to him, feeling too far away. The gesture is almost unnoticed. Josh presses their thighs together. "It's so nice out here."

"Does it ever get boring for you?"

"Not really," He pauses. "it's always an adventure. Im always meeting new people, everyday feels different for me. It's kind of indescribable? It's probably just because of how I grew up but I try and live everyday looking through a different lens."

"You're an interesting guy."

"And, uh thank you for last night. That hasn't happened in a while and i'm glad you were there to help me through it I guess."

"I'm glad I could help."

*

No questions asked, at night fall Josh joins him in bed. Tyler's already under the covers when it happens, his eyelids twitch and he can barely stay awake but Josh slides into bed with him. Quiet, Josh is so quiet, careful of him. Tyler sighs and Josh wraps his arms around him, it's like he knows, he knows what he needs, he knows how this feels and he gives it to him.

He gives it to him and Tyler reaches to grasp the arm around his torso, just to hold.

He sleeps. Josh breathes against the back of his neck.

*