34

HOPE WELLINGTON

I tried to forget whatever happened, but it was next to impossible. I had guilt, for sure, because after all, I did lie. I was upset because all the mental preparation I had done for finally confession went to garbage. And then I had anger because for that one lie, he called me a betrayer. And if that was any less, he felt suffocation in my presence. Or so he implied. Who's going to tell him how suffocating it is to live with a full heart, ready to burst but holding tight because it is aware that once it bursts open, there's nobody who'd collect all the mess. I have experienced it once. I don't want a repeat. My childhood adolescent self loved enough to experience the worst time of my life, and I was a fool then. I am no more a fool now. I know my prime concern is myself. Should be myself.

I looked out of the window. It was still dark outside. The sun was not going to be up for another hour. Like always, i completely lost my sleep.

When he came back, he pestered me alot about dinner but my appetite was gone. I only slept for the time that I was sleeping in the balcony- out cold and numb. When I was in the comfort of the bed, the thoughts started creeping onto me, and so after hours of just lying there, i realised there's no way I can just lie and sulk. I changed into my gym clothes and decided it is high time I make the time productive.

Coffee was the best way to start a day. But as soon as it entered my stomach, it made a growling sound. Like it hadn't eaten in days. Just when I was wondering, I heard a sound behind me, and turned to find him coming down.

Has he lost it to wake up at this hour?

"Good morning Hopeless!", he came to me and then kissed my head, a habit he has developed over the days. I didn't reply anything and instead remind myself that we are not happy with this man.

But I didn't have to talk, because he wouldn't shut his mouth the moment it opened.

"I told you not to leave the bed before I wake up. But you got this strange habit to play hide and seek. And why the hell are you in these gym clothes? It's five in the morning."

I am all sunshine and rainbows during the day. But I hate it when someone chats endlessly in the morning. He didn't seem to care though.

"You know if you are planning to go to gym, let me make you a sandwich, and ofcourse for myself. I am also very hungry. We are never going to sleep empty stomach now. Imagine my stomach feelings pangs of penury when I am a perfectly rich billionaire. Shame on myself. And ofcourse you!"

He got to work immediately, lighting up the burner, and keeping a pan on it. I saw him break four eggs on it and then sprinkle spices over it. As the eggs were getting cooked, he chopped a plethora of vegetables. I had baked a whole grain bread yesterday and he put it into full use as he fetched four big loafs. Soon enough, by the time I finished the coffee, two sandwiches were kept before me.

"Eat now!", I looked at the sandwich and picked up the plate.

"Thank you.", with that I moved to the balcony.

"Wha...where are you going?"

I turned to look at him, "To the balcony. So it doesn't get suffocating."

That shut him up. His mouth open and closed a few times but he had nothing to say. And so, I headed to the balcony. I wouldn't eat this early in the morning, but I'd break that rule because I am extremely hungry now.

I settled on the couch and started munching on the sandwich.
There was no salt. I shook my head at his overconfidence. And I am called 'Hopeless'.

I continued eating when I felt his presence behind me.

His enthusiasm was a little down, but the sandwich was in his hands. He had the salt shaker in his hand.

"Salt."

I took it from him and sprinkled it on my sandwich. He settled across me and began eating, his eyes trained solely on me. I ignored his gaze, and focussed on the food in my hands. It tastes good because I hadn't eaten anything since the breakfast yesterday.

Once I was done, I stood up, picking up my plate?

"Where are you going now?"

I looked at him briefly, "To the gym. Don't leave for office unless Eric comes to drop off Oliver."

I know he had an important meeting today. But what I had to do was more important. I can live in extreme agony but I can't live with accusations.

I was in the gym when Rebecca called. We discussed the long schedule for this week and then she told me about some prevailing matters.

"Hope? Jacob? That new manager in the sports criteria? He wanted to meet you."

I contemplated over it, "Didn't you tell him that you coordinate my business with the managers?"

"I did. And I refused him also. But he wants to meet you badly. Been begging me for a week now. I don't know what new strategy he has that he can't wait to show you. I guess he's looking for a raise."

I sighed, "His salary is more than fine for a new person. But schedule a meeting sometime this week. I'll tell you later on if I'll take in the office or online."

Discussing some more business, I focused on breathing normally.

I ignored the text from Erica that said, "How did it go?"

What do I tell her?

Some people are extremely unlucky in love, and I will have to accept it now. I can't go on hoping for things that are never going to find me.

When I was extremely tired, I yawned and then I realised the lack of sleep is finally taking over. I took a shower and wore my comfiest clothes and as soon as I hit bed, I slept like a baby.

When I woke up a few hours later, I was in the middle of the bed, properly covered with the duvet. The lights were off and the curtains were drawn. But I could tell it was the later part of the morning. Or even afternoon. The silence around me, a bit unusual, but I could hear commotion from downstairs.

Washing my face, I went there, to see Eric Erica and David sitting on the couch, a palpable tension between the two men, while Erica seemingly unaware of it all. Oliver was sitting on the floor among his toys and Eve.

I went to them, and placed a kiss on both their heads. If it wasn't for these kids, the environment of this room was not very cool.

I acknowledged Erica who smiled at me. Her eyes were curious but she didn't ask me anything.

"Are you okay Hope? You look tired."

I nodded, "I am good. Just needed a good sleep."

"Let me make a coffee for you? You want it."

I wanted the coffee, but not more than I wanted the opportunity to get these two men alone.

I nodded, "Please make one for me."

"Anyone else? Eric? David? Stop glaring at each other and tell me if you want coffee?"

Eric looked at her and nodded, while David shook his head after sparing me a glance. He had to keep his caffeine intake minimum.

When Erica left, it was us three only.

I looked at Eric, and then began the conversation that would decide the dynamic of mine and David's relationship now.

"Eric?"

"Yeah?"

I looked at David, who was curiously looking at me, "David now knows that you were the one who rushed him to the hospital on the birthday after he collapsed from immense pain. He also knows you took care of it all. And he also knows we hid it from him, intentionally. I want you to tell him the reason why we did it."

Eric looked taken aback, caught off-guard to be exact. He kept quiet and stared at the two of us, I guess realising what the tension is about.

He stayed quiet for a while and then focussed on David. His voice surprisingly calm.

"David, i found you collapsed on the terrace and we panicked. Hope told me how you have been vomiting now and then that time. And so me, her and Stephan took you to the hospital. I asked Hope not to tell you I was there because I know you were thinking the worst of me, and i didn't want you to worry I'll use that illness against you."

David laughed at that.

"You were dragging me to the court for my own son's custody and protecting me from worrying about matters like this. You are contradicting yourself Eric!"

Eric sat back comfortably, "Give me one reason to make me believe you would have fought for Oliver if I didn't push this issue on your bloody ego! I know you David! You only saw Oliver when he became a matter of contest between us."

That seemed to enrage David a lot more than expected.

"You both are escalating the matter. David! Now do you believe we didn't betray you? We care for you. I care for you."

His eyes softened at my words, "You didn't have to bring him here to give statements to prove you care. I know you do. I am just pissed that I didn't know he already knew."

Eric chuckled, unamused, "I know a lot more than you do David. Your doctor, i threatened him to make sure he treats you good. I even threatened the Car...."

"Eric!", Erica came in with a tray in her hand, "Just when I leave the scene for a second you start fighting. What are you? Two? Look at the kids! They are more peaceful than you both."

David looked at me and then Eric. An understanding passed between us. If we tell her about David's liver treatment, she'll probably have a breakdown. These past years, she has come manifolds closer to David. Her mother may be in the picture, but whenever it is about family, she always looks upto David.

When all of them got busy with the kids, Erica turned to me.

"How did it go? David was sulking since we came. Please tell me, I am feeling very anxious about you two."

I nodded and took her hand, "Let's go somewhere else."

We went to the kitchen, with an aim to cook lunch.

"It didn't work Erica. I couldn't say anything to him. The dinner got cancelled. We even argued. I am feeling more awful than before.", and just like that the chopper loosened from my hands, and a few tears escaped.

As soon as Erica noticed that she pulled me in a hug. Something I really needed.

"Hey! Don't! Crying for men is the most pathetic thing a women can do.", this was our girl motivation. I said this to her when she had a huge fight with Eric two years back over her concert schedule. And now she's using the same on me.

I looked at her, "Erica! In love? I am probably the unluckiest woman on earth."

She vigorously shook her head, "You are feeling unlucky because you are making your love all about him. Your love? It is yours. Yours to keep and yours to cherish. He will be lucky if he gets to be physically present in your love world. Else, he has a world of misery waiting for him. He's my brother Hope, but you? You are a wonderful woman! This is all about you. You are the main character of your story."

Her words did have their desired effect on me. Because wiping my tears I began contemplating over them.

She patted my head, "Let's cook for them, and then we will have a day to ourselves."

I was miserable to some extent, but for now, her presence comforted me. A lot.

She didn't say anything then, but we focussed on cooking. We cooked for all of us and prepared the food for kids.

When we came out, David and Eric were already arguing about something. And the kids, they were looking at them like they were jokers, entertaining them. I ignored and served the food while Erica called them to the dining table.

"We are feeding the kids. And then we'll leave for a day out."

I didn't look up from my plate to know that all eyes were on us.

"I have a meeting Erica...Anthony called in the morning but since Hope..."

"And me too. I have to attend the same meeting."

"Reschedule it! Or cancel it! You both were very eagerly fighting for a kid's custody in court. Now take care of them. Me and Hope were not fighting in court."

Both of them groaned and tried putting forward their arguments but it was of no use. Erica has passed a final judgement and i didn't want to intervene.

*

DAVID WELLINGTON

"Anthony! Reschedule the meeting.... I can't help it man! I cannot come with Olive and Eve there? They'd do nothing and blabber all the while. They are hyperactive right now. Both of them."

I sighed as I heard him get the meeting rescheduled. It was a meeting with the shareholders and they weren't really kind. But Erica was relentless today, and Hope didn't even try to talk reason.

"What happened between you and Hope? Only because you got to know about me knowing your ailments, you spoiled your date? She looked particularly upset today."

I shifted in a corner. He was the last man I wanted to talk to right now. But unfortunately, he was the only one available.

"We didn't go on the date."

I saw him and come and sit before me. He observed me like I was some organism under microscope.

"You see David. I have known you are dumb since a very long time. Can't even tell exactly from when. But are you fucking blind also?? Don't you see Hope??"

I narrowed my eyes and looked at him, "What about Hope?"

He pinched his forehead and mumbled something under his breath.

"You know...we always cheated in exams because your name was D and mine was E, so we almost always sat together? I want to cheat now too. Tell you something which you are too blind to see. But this is not about some school question paper. It is about someone's feelings."

"Whose feelings exactly are you talking about?"

At my question, he looked at me, but this thoughts were somewhere else. Most probably, contemplating if he should say something or not.

For once, even I was waiting for him to say something.

A silence spread between us, before he broke it, by standing up from his place and came to sit beside me.

"I know, right now, you hate me. I said right now, because I know this is temporary. But believe me, whatever I have done since the day you came back, it was all with your interest in my mind. And because I had to keep a promise. You'll know my reasons soon because now that one truth has left the box, it will all come tumbling down. But just know one thing, or this is the only thing that I can say right now, Hope didn't marry you only because you were her friend and she wanted to help you. Things are denser than they seem to you. Just think over it, peacefully. And do not hurt her, because you are only going to regret later."

*

His words made sense to me, so much that I was now sitting with her letter in my hands. This is the third time I was reading this. And again, it gives me a strong feeling. Do i confront her with this? Should I straight away ask her if I am the one?

Me being the one, it makes sense. Because she was not as close to anybody as she was to me. Not even Eric. Infact, Eric didn't even approve of our friendship much, only because I was a playboy and he thought I am pursuing her.

What promise was he talking about?!? And what about her marrying me for something other than her friendship?

"Where do I go??? Who do I ask??", i questioned to none in particular but my son beside me stirred.

"Dadda!", he said in his sleepy voice and then kept his hand on my bisep, "Dadda!"

"Yes? Little shit? You want something?"

He shook his head but scooted closer to me.

"You want to hug dadda as you sleep? Where is that macho boy who hates kissing me? I wish you were a girl. You would have loved me more than your mumma.."

He made a face, although he didn't understand, and i chuckled.

When he was again asleep, I texted Hope.

"Are you not planning to come back tonight? I am waiting for you."

Two minutes later, her text came in.

"You can sleep. I am busy."

Erica came back home around seven but madam went to attend a meeting.

She has seriously taken by comment on wanting to have some fresh air. I didn't apologize because I didn't think I was that wrong. But I guess I was, if she's hurt. I bear the responsibility of her.

In evening, a woman came home with her preserved carnations, making me feel even more uneasy. They were preserved in resin, and yesterday's date was inscribed on it. She gently kept it in the dining room, asking me not to touch it because it still has to dry. But I am simply panicking, every time I look at them..

They seem like they are speaking a lot more than Hope. And I guess I'd have to read whatever it is. Because Hope is not going to open her mouth anytime soon.

Not now.

*

I felt a blanket being draped over me and Oliver, and that effectively woke me up, but I laid still because the familiar fragrance was enough for me to know who it was.

I heard her fidgeting my medicines that were kept beside me.

"5...5..hmm..", madam seems satisfied that I ate medicines without her having to eat my ears.

I felt her lean down a little and place a kiss on Oliver's head, and whispered, "Sleep tight! Baby boy!"

I kept her food on the table, hoping she'll eat. She takes her time and finally sits to eat her food, which must be definitely cold by now. When she was done, she changed her clothes and then came to lie on the other side of the bed.

"Hope?", my voice probably startled her though it was merely a whisper.

She looked at me, a little startled, "What?"

"Let's go on that dinner tomorrow. With Oliver this time. Whatever you wanted to...."

My words are interrupted, "No."

I opened my mouth to say something but the expression on her face, didn't let me say anything.

She picked up the other end of the duvet and laid down beside us, "Good night."

*
The next day, was hell for me. My wife wasn't talking to me, my son has changed sides the moment his mother was back. And Erica is also showing me attitude because I hurt her best friend. I was having a bad day, and even though Tobias delivered a coffee for me, i couldn't function.

And if everything was any less, these oldies, the shareholders, they were arguing over a useless topic.

"The profit margins, this year, wasn't satisfactory Mr.Ashton.", he said to James, "Since the last ten years, we are only seeing growth, with increasing percentage. We hoped for it to continue."

"Mr.Blaire we are aware you expected a higher percentage but  we have still maintained a streak. The graph has not gone down. Both my sons they have been juggling a lot between work and personal life. So yes, the work is impacted a bit. But yet, they have maintained the top position!"

"I agree with Mr.Ashton.", another oldies supported James, "The kids have been doing well. And we all men have this phase in our life when we have to prioritise family over work."

Eric was looking seemingly irritating at this conversation. I knew it I can count the number of seconds in my fingers before his patience snaps...and 1...2...3...4...here you go..

"Mr. Blaire! You are, on an annual basis, recieving a good share of return, which me, and David are working our asses off for. And, the amount of work you do for that is come here once in a six month and pass comments about our performance. I'll be gone. My baby most probably needs a diaper change, and my wife hates looking at potty."

He passed a sick smile at that, and then left the room.

Mr. Blaire sighed, "I have never liked your son's attitude."

"But?", James prompted.

"But he's the most efficient man in the country."

James shrugged, "I can't do anything about him. He's arrogant but efficient. You can deal here with David instead. He's a very good mannered boy."

The oldies turned to me, Mr. Blaire and his supporters.

I looked at them and smiled, "I can assure you we'll work better next time, Mr. Blaire. But right now, even I need to make a call to my wife. I am sorry."

I left the room immediately, sighing in relief. James need to pay us more for tolerating oldies like him.

*