Day 3:

School, work, practice and the cycle went on. Ryan didn't ask me anything yet but he'd look at me sometimes with that calculating look of his, trying to figure out the shit out of me.

As I was in the middle of eating dinner, Ryan placed his fork and knife down and stared at me. 'Stop staring at me like that. I'm starting to have creeps.'

'Then start speaking.'

I huffed. I couldn't delay this matter anymore. He had told me everything and though it was my darkest secret, hiding it from him would only make things worse. 'It's just Logan.'

'Logan?'

'My ex.'

He stiffened slightly but didn't give me any obvious reaction and I was pleased. 'He's not just Logan is he?'

'No.' I replied instantly. I peered at him. What will he think? How coward I was to not defend myself? Or how stupid I was to not lock the doors? What would he do after that? Would he stop talking to me? Or would he understand me? I didn't know. My heart raced at the thoughts of losing him.

'What's going on inside your head?' He placed his hand on mine as he tilted his head.

'Promise me Ryan you won't leave me after hearing it.' This came unexpected to him. 'Promise me you won't step back and assume something wrong about me,' I saw the fire of the candle swooshing as wind made it to dance on its music. 'I was helpless at that time and ... and broken. I had my dad died ten months ago.'

'Hey, stop thinking like this okay? Trust me.'

I blowed a puff of air as I shook my head. 'Logan and I were childhood friends and he was the king of our school and the crush of my best friend ... Abigail.'

Ryan's eyes widened but he simply nodded me to go on and so I did. Told him about him falling silently for me and I having no idea. About Mom's distant behaviour, about Ian's ruthlessness and the beginning of cyber bullying. And about the night, how it happened. He kept on listening. He didn't interrupt, didn't give me weird reactions or pretending to listen. He had my hand in his all the time and the soothing circles were the only thing keeping me going. I had drank two glasses of water during my story because of the constant stupid lumps as I held my tears back. I won't cry. I kept on telling myself. Don't cry.

Everything was silent as I ended the story. I lowered my eyes on the table, afraid of what Ryan would do as I watched the candle melting one by one like I felt at that moment. My hands became sweaty as I had them balled in fists for so long.

'Why didn't you tell me this before?' He said after a long pause.

'I was just scared.'

'Of what?'

'Of losing you. I didn't know what to expect Ryan.'

'Seriously?' Was all he said as he stood up from the chair and pulled me up in the tightest hug and kept on kissing me on the forehead, on the head, on my cheeks. He put strand of hair behind my ear, 'I'm not going anywhere Jane. Of all the things, you won't be losing me neither am I. I can't.'

'Promise me.' I hid my face in his chest as tears rolled down. I remembered how the first time I was broken, he hugged me just like this.

'I promise, Âme.'

Day 4:

'Ryan you are coming right?' I asked Ryan on the phone as I handed a customer he's money back.

'I'm on my way. It's just so much traffic here.'

'I heard some celebrity's visiting this town so that's why people are gathered around.' Sarah answered my unspoken question.

'Visiting here? Why?'

'I don't know. Heard she likes the coffee from this town.'

'Excuse me?'

'Yes sir,' I went back to business as I waited for Ryan to pick me up, apparently working over shift.

Meanwhile the manager of this branch visited and I got a praise for working over time and for working so hard only he didn't knew how hard I was working.

Ryan was taking too long and I was worried if we will be able to practice more cause tomorrow was when Ryan will be performing. His one day was wasted in shooting an introduction to be played before his performance. 'Hey,' I called him again.

'I'm outside. I can't get in. There are too many people here. Can you—wait, is she pointing at me? She's calling me?' I didn't understand what Ryan was saying but he cut the call and texted me to come outside so I picked up my bag pack, bid Sarah farewell and rushed out.

Pushing people aside I finally saw Ryan's flushed red face, he was apparently walking without looking. 'Hey!' I shouted as I waved my hand over my head for him to hear or see me. 'Ryan!' Someone pushed me and I almost tripped but I made it to Ryan and almost fell on him.

'Oh, you're here. Thank God, let's go home.' He held my hand and pushed me out of the crowd that only extended with the covering distance. Seriously man, at least warn before coming somewhere not to disturb the people around.

We made it to his car that was parked really far away and by the time we reached his home, it was already nine. Took us three freaky hours!

Ryan was silent the whole ride. Strangely silent.

'You good? How was your first day at job?'

'Exhausting.' I totally get that.

We ate the dinner and went to practice but we both were really tired. Ryan kept on dozing off and we still needed to practice the final time.

I opened my eyes and looked at Ryan who yawned, placed his guitar on his side and laid down on my thigh. 'Ryan, one last time.'

'I'm tired Âme.'

'I know but ... ' I ran my hand through his hair and he closed his eyes.

'Let me take a nap and we'll practice again.' He didn't wait for my reply as he rolled to the side and wrapped his arms around my thigh like he'd do with his pillow whenever he'd be sleeping. It tickled, sent electricity through out my body but still, I loved Ryan sleeping on my lap so peacefully.

It was not a nap. Rather we both fell asleep in the dead night.

Day 5:

I was half asleep but guitar's notes woke me up. I looked at the source and saw Ryan sitting on his study table and practicing. I rolled over on the bed to see the time and it was 5 am. We had to leave by 9am and the show would start at twelve o'clock. I calculated it all in my head but dozed off knowing I still had so much time.

One kiss. Another one. Another. 'Stop kissing me while I'm sleeping.' I groaned at Ryan as I rubbed my eyes.

'Then wake up and kiss me back.'

'My morning breath will suffocate you to death.' I said.

He chuckled. 'You can give me mouth-to-mouth if it does.'

'Jerk.' I sat up with half close eyes. He finally kissed me on my forehead. 'Good morning Âme.'

'Morning.' I replied and he kissed me on lips finally but I didn't, knowing what I said about my breath was true.

'You're making me so addicted to you.' If I could blush, I would've been tomato red with the blush but I can't so I smiled shyly. 'Okay so,' he pulled up two shirts. 'Which one? Black hoodie or white?'

'Black.' He looked so sexy in it. He nodded and instantly took it off the hanger and wore it. His hair were brushed back simply because his makeover was to be done at the studio.

He wore a watch and packed his guitar in the case. 'The guys would be here to pick you up. You don't need to come so soon you know. Mia will be bringing you the clothes. The breakfast's ready and don't try to cook anything. Stay at my place as long as you want to. Actually, don't leave.'

'It seems like you're going on  "Eighty days around the World" tour.'

'Huh?' He was searching for his phone under the bed but peeked up.

'Chill, you're gonna do great.' He gave me a tight smile and nodded ever so slightly. 'Ryan, you're gonna do great.' I was expecting that warm smile on his face but he didn't give me any rather he nodded again and stood up after finding his phone from under his pillow.

'I'm going now. Gotta practice some shit there.'

'Yeah okay.'

'Bye then.' And he left.

oOo

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