"S-scars."

He looks at me in shock. Or fear. Or confusion. I'm not too sure

"I didn't want to tell you but I struggle with some things..." I said, looking down at my hands.

"So you fucking cut yourself?!" He yells loud enough for everyone to hear.

I was in terrified. I thought he loved me. I thought he said I was beautiful.

"D-damien I don't do it anymore I promise I-"

"No! You're a fucking psychopath, the hell is wrong with you?" His voice is full of disgust. He looked at me like I was a monster. I could feel everyone staring at me and my scars.

I walk closer to him trying to calm him down.

"Baby no I'm not ple-" I tried to hold his hands but he smacked mine away.

"No, don't you 'baby' me, you're disgusting. I can't and won't date a freak." He walks away and I stand there, trembling.

I zone out until I barely hear anything. Just ringing and the echoes of people swimming. I didn't move, I just froze.

I turned around to see Tyler and Josh, beet red, walking towards Damien, and Jenna running up to me.
I could feel everyone's eyes staring at me more intensely.

"Are you okay honey?" Jenna said, running by my side.

"I-i just w-wanna go h-home." I said between sobs. She nods her head, so we pack up, and head to the car. Tyler and Josh finally join us and Josh drove us home while Tyler and Jenna stayed in the back with me.

Tyler and Josh spoke to Damien and his parents. Apparently his parents weren't all that different from damien. In fact, they agreed with him.

So Jenna brushed my hair back behind my ears and they both hugged me. Tyler tried to reassure me that I wasn't unlovable, and that I was beautiful. But it didn't work.
I stayed quiet the entire time.

Ugly. Unlovable. Disgusting. Freak. Cutter. Just kill yourself. No one could ever love such a monster.

We went inside and I ran to my room immediately, changing into sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I shouldn't have trusted him. I shouldn't have showed my scars. It was a mistake.

The urges surged through my blood, pumping through my veins. I needed it like you need water after walking through a desert.
I sat there, knowing what would come next.

"I can't do this. I need it. I need it now."

I frantically looked in old hiding spots. Nothing. I began to panic. I needed to cut. I can't go without it, not this time. So I grab my earbuds and walked out of my room.

"Mom, dad, going on a walk, okay?" I yelled on my way out.

"Okay be safe, call us if you need anything and don't be out too late! We love you!" Tyler yelled back.

I began my walk, blasting music on my phone.

No one will ever love you.

I kept walking, knowing what was coming next.
After about fifteen minutes, I arrived at a small drugstore. I walked in and their bell rang as I got a kind 'hello' from the store owner.
I went over to the hardware section and grabbed a packet of utility blades.

You're so gullable to actually think anyone would like you.

Who knew five blades of self destruction would only cost 1.75$?

You're a pathetic, useless skeleton. You're already covered in ugly scars, so there's no hurt in getting a few more.

I bought it akwardly and went back home. I hid them in my pockets and ran straight to my room, closing my door and hiding the blades- except for one. The bathroom called my name but I refused to look in the mirror. It would only show disappointment.

Then the sweet sting of release was felt across my right arm as I let out a shaky breath of relief. I looked at the rosy liquid on my arm, dripping onto the sink. I rested my arms on the counter and looked at my reflection.

"Mars! Dinner is ready!" I heard Jenna yell.

I evened out my breathing, took one last look at myself, and then began to wash my arm. I also washed my face to hide the fact that I was crying, and bandaged up my arm before rushing downstairs.

I poked at the pasta, pushing it around my plate, taking a bite every now and then. It smelled good, but I wasn't really hungry. It was quiet at dinner. We barely spoke. After we finished and put away our plates, Tyler and Jenna stopped me before I could retreat to my room.

"Hey honey," Jenna started

"So we know you've been through a lot but you've stayed strong and clean through it for the past month." She says with a smile.

I get a bad feeling in my stomach. I start to shake my leg and nervously wring my hands together.

Then Tyler joins in.

"So, we decided that at the end of this week we're going to take you out to eat or do something fun for being one month clean!"

Oh fuck.