I began to tire myself out from all the crying. It was like I was empty of tears but still felt the same emotions.

I arrived home and grabbed the key from under our welcome mat to unlock the door. I had checked the clock, knowing Tyler or Jenna wouldn't be there for at least four more hours. My feet carried me to my room slowly. I grabbed my notebook and ripped out an empty page. I wrote a note saying my goodbyes and apologizing. I left the crumpled up poster next to the note so that they can have evidence as to one of the reasons why I did what I'm about to do.

I locked my bedroom door then walked to the bathroom and locked myself in with the bag I was given. I had also grabbed a glass of water, and some old clothing. I ran myself a hot bath and got settled in.

If these are going to be my last moments, they might as well be as comfortable as possible I guess.

When the bath was full, I changed into my old clothes. Sweatpants, and a t-shirt. Then I lowered myself into the comforting bath as I glanced at the label on the bag by the edge of the tub.

"Kill yourself!"
The label made me think of everything that has gone wrong it my life. The bullies. The orphanage. The fire. Every mistake I have ever made.

Dying at this point seems less painful than living. I'm ready.

I grabbed the pill bottle from inside the bag and opened it up.
I took one.

Then two.

Then five.

Then ten.

Before I could get the rest, I decided to do the other option before I got too dazed to do it. I grasped onto the new razor blade from the bag and looked at the special spot I saved on my right arm for this moment.
A vertical gash was engraved into my flesh and veins. It wash huge. I've never seen so much blood come from one part of the human body. I could see my tendons and fat clearly until blood covered it up. It was almost impossible to not vomit, but I knew I had to keep the pills down to die.

My breathing became uneven and I was shaking.

I can do this.
I thought.

I can finish the job.
I downed the rest of the pills, observing the last few moments of my life. Everything was dizzy and I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't move. I didn't want to be awake to feel my own death. It scared me, but I wasn't conscious for long.

Finally.

I can rest easy.