Song: Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved

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I stared at Ratchet with large eyes when he explained to me what the situation was after he had pushed me and Ironhide to his med-bay to make it more private. This was unbelievable.

"I'm sorry... but... What?" I spat out with disbelief, making the three bots look at me.

"Were you even listening to me?" Ratchet demanded with a loud vent, throwing his metal servo in the air with frustration. It was clear the medic was just as stressed, this was obviously a first.

"I-I..." I stumbled on my sentence, holding my chest with much shock as I still felt the tingles within my body. It felt so supernatural. "We... So... this is what you meant by marriage?..." I dragged out my words, unable to think or form a proper sentence. This is too much to handle right know.

"Yes, You are bonded, spark bonded infact." Ratchet confirmed my question, optics zooming in one my form when he noticed my inner panic."Now calm down, you are very close to having a panic attack and I do not wish to deal with that right now."

I looked at Ironhide when I felt a wash of ease run over my body, but it wasn't mine. So this is what Ratchet meant about emotional connection?

Speaking of Ironhide, he was surprisingly quiet during this whole conversation. Which was annoying because he made this choice for both of us and even though I was grateful that it saved my life... I wasn't this commited to our slowly forming relationship just yet. Heck we haven't even talked about what we are!

"What were you thinking?" I demanded Ironhide wanting answeres, anger rushed through my veins at the very thought he did this out of impulse and didn't think it through. "I'm not even human anymore!"

Ironhide slowly looked at me with hard optics, but I could tell he was just as uncertain as I was. "I saved your life, I think you should be more appreciative." The mech said coldly, optic ridges narrowing down on me. Clearly trying to act like he was all tough and strong.

My heart dropped at his facade, jaw wobbling at the very thought he could be so stubborn at this moment. "-and risked yours! Are you crazy?" I ran my hand threw my messy brown hair. "What if it didn't work? And I ended up dying- technically I did! That meant You would have too!" I looked at the bot with sad eyes, that very thought rocked me to the core.

Ironhide shook his helm at this, not wanting the pity. "I am your Guardian. It's my job to look after you as you are my charge." Ironhide answered bluntly and sharply, crossing his arms below his chassis. Obviously not wanting to talk about the fact that we both had stopped living for a moment.

Such words hurt a lot more than it should and for a moment I felt the mechs inner turmoil. The uncertainty, the nerves, the fear- Suddenly the bond was blocked off from me, shutting me out in an instant. It made me jerk from the sudden wave of... emptiness

It made me feel incomplete. How is that even possible?

"Is that all you see me as?" I asked, soft. Sadness pretty much leaking my aura and flooding the room before us. "Just a charge." My eyes displayed much hurt and disappointment, voice faint.

Optimus looked between us two awkwardly, his optics shifting from Ironhide and me multiple times. Feeling the intensity in the air, Optimus went to speak up reluctantly to stop a fight from happening, but Ironhide beat him to it.

"Yes." Ironhide deadpanned, earning a look of shock from Ratchet which was followed by a harsh, deadly glare. Ironhide huffed at this, not happy he was being cornered.

"I don't wish to talk about this right now." Ironhide instantly glared back towards the medic. "Not infront of an audience."

Ratchet rolled his eyes dramatically at this and ranted under his breath. "You were pretty fine to declare a sparkbond in front of me beforehand, but not declaring your emotions?"

Ironhide ignored the medic, before leaning down to me and looking me in the eyes with a steady stern look. "We will talk later, Hazel."

My eyes stung at this, I was so so angry, but I closed them to stop the frustrated tears. "Talk later?" I muttered this out, inhaling deeply to try and calm myself down. "It's always later with you. You never want to talk about this, about us." The bond between us went numb on both sides and oh god, it hurt. I didn't understand why he is so stubborn, so prideful.

"For the love of Primus, why do you always need me to talk to you?" Ironhide was clearly just as frustrated, tired of my insecurities. "Haven't I talked enough? Isn't it clear enough?"

"Well I'm sorry for not being a mind reader Hide!" I snapped out. "You're not exactly clear at how you feel! It's either you don't care or you fully care! You're so... so... frustrating!"

Ironhide growled at this, his anger clearly getting the better of him. "Right now, I don't care."

Such harsh words felt like a slap to my face and I closed my eyes at this. Even though I knew those words were from the anger Ironhide felt at this moment... Well, It sure as hell felt like he fully meant it.

At this, I spotted the regret in Ironhides optics, anger vanishing in seconds. "Hazel... I-"

"Save it Ironhide." I forced out his name with much displeasure. "I'm just sorry for mistaking you as someone that gave a damn about me." I raised my eyebrows while frowning and shrugged slowly.

I opened my brown eyes to stare into his electric blue ones. I witnessed a flash of hurt appear through them, but at this moment I wasn't feeling sorry for what I said. It felt good to know he felt the pain he made me feel moments ago. Petty I know, but at this moment I didn't care.

Ironhide simply looked away at this and silence filled the room. No one said anything, my sigh broke said silence. "I guess...We should get back to our everyday lives then." I suggested slowly while getting to my feet on the large berth, in an instant I headed to the staircase that could get me to the floor.

I felt like I was about to meltdown and I knew I couldn't do it infront of them. No, they didn't deserve to see me cry my eyes out.

"Hazel... please be careful." Ratchet said softly, optics watching my every move. Worried for my wellbeing. Atleast someone was. "I also wish to see you tomorrow to check up on your health status." I nodded simply at this and slid down the staircase smoothly, quickly leaving the med-bay to the 3 Autobots.

I walked down the empty and quiet hall. It was late, so it didn't surprise me that no one was around. "I can't believe this..." I hugged myself slowly, my whisper echoed the empty hallway.

I bit the inside of my cheek gently, eyes watering as I recalled the argument that happened moments ago. I knew Ironhide was struggling with this too and I shouldn't take his outbursts so personally, but I... his words meant the world to me and to cope such harshness from him truly broke my heart.

I could hear the shouting come from the med-bay I had just left, obviously it was Ratchet and Ironhide arguing as I could suddenly feel the defensive emotions hit me. I jerked at the sudden bond opening, clearly Ironhide wasn't used to such bonds either since it snapped closed in an instant.

Sighing at this, I continued with my speed walking before Optimus's loud command of 'Enough!' boomed the area. Silencing the shouting. Now I was glad that I had left, Ironhide was scary enough when angry. Optimus was like hell itself when pissed.

I didn't understand why he was so hesitant to be with me, hadn't I put my all in too? Or was I too sensitive for him? Was it because I am human? Well technically I am a techno-organic now... but that wasn't the point.

I thought... I thought we had something special. I felt it... I swear I felt it. I guess that is the problem, I thought.

I stormed down the hall, trying my hardest not t burst into a absolute mess. I didn't understand why I felt so frigging empty for, all over the bond being closed? Is this how cybertronians felt whenever they got into a fight with their loved ones?

My hurt turned to anger just as fast, it bubbled within me, rage and confusion ready to burst from within my soul. I knew my emotions were open to Ironhide, as I had no idea how to control the bond myself.

Why was he so arrogant and... and such an asshole for! God damn, can someone just... "Can someone give me a sign." I whispered out with frustration, my feet scruffing against the flooring, my head fallen forward in defeat.

My legs felt like jelly and I felt like collapsing to just cry my eyes out. Why the hell am I even crying for? "Ugh. Hazel snap out of it, he's just a jerk!" I wiped at my bloodshot eyes furiously, cheeks moist and flushed.

A sob escaped my quivering lips. I never felt like this before, I don't know what I am doing anymore. I really don't. I soon looked up when I saw familiar nicely mowed dark green grass.

The Training Field.

My eyes scanned the scenery. Of course the shooting zones were still here, but the familiar stars that me and Ironhide would stare up at seemed to shine even brighter tonight.

Instead tonight, I stood here alone. When once the black armored Autobot would sit by me and we would talk our hearts out to one another.

The gentle breeze ran through my hair, making my brown hair whip around and rustled in the air gently. The cool air felt nice against my warm skin, while fresh tears ran down my cheeks and dripped off my jawline.

It felt like dream. Maybe I would one day wake up to find out that it all was just a dream. That Mission City did get attacked by Terrorists and I was just in a coma... dreaming up my own escape from reality, but this is reality. This is real. I know it is.

"I thought you said you would always be here for me." I whispered to no one. Only the soft breeze responded to me, as I was all alone...again.

"You left me like everyone else did, even when you promised me you would stay." I bit my bottom lip gently to stop it from wobbling, closing my eyes tightly, more tears escaped carelessly.

I tried to feel for Ironhides side of the bond to reach out to him, to see if we could just fix this. To stop this silly argument, all I found was nothing but coldness, the barrier still there.

"So stubborn. So prideful." I whispered as I knew he was hiding from me, pushing me away. I knew it, I felt it. I could see it. I wasn't stupid.

We both knew it is a dangerous game, especially if we went any further. Ironhide knew it, I knew it. Everyone knew it. It was too dangerous, a suicide mission. A mission I was willing to take... but I wasn't sure now if Ironhide was too.

Life is like a Warzone, some rise, some fall, but in the end, we all fight to survive for the ones we love most.

Today I rose to admit what I felt and Ironhide fell in denial. I knew deep down, he didn't want me to chase him down and pick him up. I could tell Ironhide was trying to teach me to survive without him... putting me to the test. We both knew I relied on him so much.

I inhaled sharply, looking up at the sky. I willed myself to stop crying, that I will not chase after him anymore, that I will stand on my own two feet from now on.

I will be strong for both of us, like he has for me all this time. It was my time to do so.

I wasn't afraid to cry anymore.
I wasn't afraid to kill anymore.
I wasn't afraid to fall anymore.
I wasn't afraid to be alone anymore.
I wasn't afraid to die anymore.
I wasn't afraid to lose you anymore.

- Because I know I already had you,
as you have me.

"... Hazel!"

I turned automatically to face the faint call of my name, when I realised it was Ironhides voice through the bond we shared.

I wasn't ready to see... Fire. "The Decepticon was still there for the shard... they were just hiding since we were searching for the bag." I whispered out in realisation.

Ironhides fear flooded through the bond in a flash.