CHAPTER SIXTY: FOREMAN

Stay away from addictions in life or addictions will take you away from life. 
-Amit Kalantri

Although I could never quite eat as much as others at lunch, today I felt like it was especially difficult to eat well, anything.

It would be today that I was told if I could continue working, continue living, at Grey Estate, if the lives of my employee's would get better or worse, if I had risked it all for nothing. In fact, it would be in less than an hour that I heard the verdict.

My lawyer is more than certain they'll make the right decision, said the way my parent's lawyers presented himself made not only him but my parents look bad. It felt good to hear.

Even her husband says he's certain we'll win and he usually doesn't pull his punches.

People like to kill others slowly, over time and they like to do it without ending their lives. One of the most common ways I hear is, "Be realistic. Not stupid."

At least, it makes my heart skip a beat almost every time.

I feel as though I've been hearing that so much lately that it's taken a year off my life and I'm so sick of it. I want this to be over but I'm actually terrified of it to end.

"Ugly?" Jeremiah calls me, making me flick my eyes over to him as I realize how deeply I was frowning. "Are you okay?"

"Anxious, really really anxious." Not hesitating to tell the truth, I hold tightly onto Micah's hand -knowing he's worried about me and the pregnancy like I'm worried about Greg Estate. "I never thought it would come to this. And I'm worried about my parents, my father, retaliating if I do win the case. Now...now I can't afford to have anything happening to me."

My best friend and boyfriend have the same look of protectiveness and understanding.

When I'll really start to show if it's a normal pregnancy, is when my ribs will heal. If it's twins and I get bigger faster, I'll still be broken when they press against my ribs and add pressure to my ankle.

I already stopped talking all my meds.

Jem doesn't like it, I'm scared and the broken boy is terrified.

"I've done this countless times and I know a winning case when I see it, this is it." Emmeline reassure me, looking between us as though she knows I'm hiding something. "In your mind, what's the worse outcome of winning?"

That's a strange thing to ask.

Good thing I'm stranger.

"My parents -will they get charged with child abuse or endangerment? The evidence we brought in, the unclear outcomes and the courts prejudice against males...they could really be charged criminally, can't they? And I can't not press charges or erase that without giving up Grey Estate, even if I do win. Can I?"

"Would you..." Slowly speaking, Wolf raises an eyebrow at me. "Want them to be charged?"

"I...I want them to get help," My answer sounds like a lie but it feels like the truth. "Not a punishment. The American justice system is flawed, incarceration here is about punishment and not rehabilitation."

Looking at me with an ounce of surprise in her grey eyes, the lawyer says "That's very noble." while maintaining intimidating eye contact.

Glancing at Jem once makes him chuckle, "AJ is always adorably noble, it's infuriating because it makes you realize how much of an asshole you really are. Also, I'm annoying."

The demon just nods like it's true, which is probably due to the last part of Jeremiah's sentence instead of everything else.

As a reply, I pout before slyly perking up and sending him a smug look. "You're right. You are annoying."

Now, my boyfriend nods even more, making me giggle.

Even if this doesn't work out like I hope it does, I'll still have them and our relationships and that is enough for me.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am now going to read to you the law that you must follow in deciding this case." The judge says, hand holding her gavel though she doesn't bang it. "To prove the crimes charges against and rights transferred from the defendants to the plaintiff, the prosecution must prove three things to you." 

Was I told these three things or am I just forgetful when it comes to court etiquette? 

Wait is court etiquette a real thing or are people just constantly trying to impress a judge?

I know I want to impress that judge. 

But I also know I want to throw up.

So I'm not sure if I'm going to actually do either of those things.

"First, that the defendants engaged in or was complicit in the crime of child abuse. Second, that the defendants are not giving proper care to those under the protection acts their business has promised to give the families of the patients along with the government, as it is a state recognized treatment center. Third, that the defendants never intended to give those citizens proper treatment as well as mistreating the staff, either permanently or temporarily."

See, I know I'd be a good person for the jury on this case because of what I've been through, I know that we have proven all that. 

The jury we have might not see it that way because the defense team struck any jurors who had been severely mistreated or mentally abused.

"If each of you believes that the prosecution proved all three of these things beyond a reasonable doubt, then you should find the defendants guilty and give legal ownership to the plaintiff." 

Sounds reasonable.

What will they do about the abuse -if anything?

"But if you believe the prosecution did not prove any one of these things beyond a reasonable doubt, then you must find the defendants innocent and bar the plaintiff from being a work associate of the defendants." 

What if they don't believe me? 

People have thought I was making it up before. And now, when I'm bringing up my abuse up in a court case without pressuring my parents before, it could easily seem like I am making it up. 

Turning in my seat, I look to Micah and Jem. 

My best friend holds up his thumbs, grinning like such a dork that I have to stop myself from giggling. 

The demon mouths 'I love you' to me, nodding in approval. He thinks we did a good job and that's good enough for me.

"Proof beyond a reasonable doubt does not mean beyond all possible doubt. It means you must consider all of the evidence and testaments and that you are very sure any charge and legal decision you make is true and just." Saying this, the judge stares hard at one of the jury -a nervous looking man in his early twenties. "Are you ready with the final arguments?" 

Both the lawyers say "Yes, Your Honor." without hesitation but I'm still stuck on looking at the jury. 

I've never considered that this court case could have stressful for the people on the jury. 

They're the ones that have to make the ultimate decision, and sure we can appeal and fight something but they're still the ones who hold mine and my parents- -and everyone at Grey Estate- -lives in their hands. 

They can't personally ask us questions. 

They can't talk about it outside of the jury-room. 

It must be the most annoyingly stressful yet honorable thing someone could do -and you doesn't matter who you are, you always have the potential to be able to do it.

Mr. Leta stands up first, turning to face the jury. "Your Honor, and ladies and gentlemen of the jury...Candance and Bradley Ferro, my clients, were unlucky enough to raise a child who didn't appreciate a thing that they do. She became an addict and got hurt because she never took responsibility, she didn't listen to her parents and she knew, as a functioning teenager, that what she was doing was wrong." 

No I didn't. I didn't. They approved of my best friend, of my first 'boyfriend' and didn't stop me from doing drugs as long as I didn't bother them. They would smash things into the ground and scream and sometimes they would hit me. I didn't know any better, It was all normal for me. 

I didn't know any better.

"My client's have been keeping Grey Estate a functioning business for hurt youth and a good, reasonably paying establishment to work at for the staff. You've heard many witness testimonies, many of which come from people who have never met the defendants but are great friends with their daughter. I suggest to you that they are biased." 

I'm friendly, I'm nice, but I only know their names. We don't eat lunch together. They've never been to my house despite me living on top of their workplace. 

Jamie is a different story, she's been my nurse from the start but that also makes her qualified to say just how much my parents have affected me. God, this lawyer is insufferable. 

...but it is his job to win this case. I can't blame him. 

"If AJ- -Artemis June- -was an honest person and only trying to help people, we wouldn't be here right now. If she doesn't want the money that comes out of Grey Estate, we wouldn't be here. Remember that under the law, my clients are presumed to be innocent." 

The mental scars in my mind tell a different story. 

"The prosecution must prove every part of its case beyond a reasonable doubt -that means that you must be very sure. One of the things they must prove is that Candance and Bradley intended to abuse their child. My clients would never do that, they are only simple people who try their best. They testified under oath that they weren't trying to harm their child, but was trying to help her the only way they knew how." 

Helping your child is by nearly giving her strokes by making her go cold turkey just so she can appear at a business dinner a week later so your family seems normal? It's slamming a glass so hard into a wall over a bad grade that the half-inch shards bury into someone's skin? 

It's screaming, it's taking advantage of, it's hurting, it's bruising, it's trapping, it's neglecting? 

How is that helping? It's not. 

It's not. 

Previously, I wasn't aware that I broke into tears over hearing all this. But as soon as Wolf slides me a cloth square to dry my eyes with I realize how I'm holding myself -actively trying not to sob aloud.

Why isn't hugging allowed in court rooms?

"The prosecution has presented no real evidence, just show-boated ignorance, to show that this is not true. That means that there is a reasonable doubt, and therefore, you must find them not guilty." As Mr. Leta finishes, he gives a reassuring fake nod to my parents as though to calm them.

"Your Honor, and ladies and gentlemen of the jury...the judge has told you that we must prove three things. There is absolutely no question about the first two things we must prove. First, that couple traumatized my client as a young child up until this year. Second, the many patients that have gone through Grey Estate, including my client, have given you testimonies showing both the lengths AJ will go to keep someone safe and the length her parents will go to get more money." 

Aren't I doing what any good person would in my position? 

Why does that make me special... 

"The way her parents raised her was harsh, brutal even. They manipulated and used her and taught her that it was okay for others to manipulate and use her." 

Her face flashes in my mind, making me wince. 

"Candance and Bradley Ferro think they are owed good things in life but my client understands that she needs to earn them." 

We all do. 

"Therefore, all we have to prove is that the defendants have had the opportunity and no intent to honestly help their patients and provide safety and a comfortable life for their staff. See, this is where it gets tricky, because none of us are experts in determining that. We all have different core values, the things we think are acceptable and the things we thing are wrong. None of us know what to really do, how much to take or give." 

Now I believe that if not a lawyer, I think Emmeline could be a therapist. 

Her husband could still be her secretary then too. 

"The professionals we did bring to the witness stand and my own client, who is an expert, have said that no, the Ferro's haven't been fair to their staff and helpful to their clients. It's only by sheer will of their good staff that they have saved lives. My client herself has saved many and that is fact. Undebatable."

My patients have all saved themself, I might have pushed them but they're the ones that stumbled until they ran or fall. It's my job to catch them, not to run for them. I'm overrated, they're the heroes in their own stories.

"According to what the judge just told you, that is all we have to prove." The hidden smirk in Emmeline's voice is only distinguishable because The defendants don't care and never have attempted to care for the mentally ill and their staff. Based on the evidence, you must find the defendants guilty and give my client the rights."

Before I know what's happening, the jury is let out to discuss the verdict and I'm left shaking in my seat.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Wolf tells me, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. "We have this in the bag. Lard over there doesn't know how to present a convincing case."

Behind me, Jem makes a 'pst' sound making me turn towards him. "Me and Micah have decided that when we win we're going to celebrate with Jamie and a few other nurses at Red Lobster."

"We're celebrating?" I ask, frowning.

Micah raises an eyebrow at me, "What did you think we'd do after?"

Smiling sheepishly, I shrug. "Sleep."

"Are we going there for the biscuits?" Leaning into the three of us, Wolf grins wide enough to show off his abnormally sharp teeth. "Because I can get down on those biscuits."

His wife narrows her eyes at us. "Zay, don't intrude on their after-party, you nosy dog."

"He's okay!" I chirp, thankful that the conversation has distracted me from my nerves. "It your guy's victory too...under the assumption I win. You're welcome to join, I know this is tiring."

"See!"  Pointing at me, Jem smirks. "She's exhaustingly nice."

Micah nods, agreeing. "It's disgusting."

Interrupting what was beginning to be a comfortable atmosphere, my parent's lawyer is flicking one of Emmeline's folders across the table where Wolf pins it down with his middle finger. "Juries don't like teenage drug addicts."

"Yeah," She nods, unfazed. "They also don't like abusive rich white parents who don't work for anything they have and let their children do whatever they want resulting in a traumatized, non-functioning teenage drug addict so..."

Looking as though fumes should be steaming out from his ears, Mr. Leta's jaw clenches. "I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done, giving me the win."

"No, no, Leta, thank you for that thrilling two month display of mediocrity."

God damn. My lawyer is cool.

And god, I hope I win.