CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: MISSING

She sees it as love. But it's not. It's addiction. And shes' relapsing.
-Peter Callaway

There was an awful silence around me that I didn't know how to break.

When I woke up, I instantly wished I was still dreaming.

Broken ribs.

I knew that I had them, I've only had a broken rib once before in my life and it was after I landed on the ground after a third story fall. I hunch over myself, not moving often but when I do I can't help but to gasp.

My skin, from what I can tell, is rather pale and I know I'm covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

I try to push the pain to the back of my mind, because if I try to focus on something other than my ribs I focus on my ankle. I've never had a broken ankle so I can't say if now my ankle is broken or not, but if someone were to ask me if it was I would say yes.

Roughly an hour ago, I got to the point where I managed to ignore the pain just enough so it's not overwhelming me. This was because I was able to pull the blindfold from my eyes, letting it fall around my neck.

Broken, wrecked and bruised, I still looked for Micah first.

And I found him, on the other side of the small room we were in. Where my wrists were chained up, he only has a chain around his ankle. The broken boy also has a weird brace thing on his right arm, the one he put around me.

Hopefully it's not broken but if it is it's my fault.

If I had just noticed we were in danger faster, if I had protected myself instead of having him do it for me than I'd have the broken arm, not him.

His black sweatshirt is missing.

With my chains, I can almost reach the middle of the room. My wrists are already bleeding from how hard I tried to pull my arms free. I'm not quite sure how long it's been, there's no windows in this room to see outside, just a little flickering light next to the door.

Micah hasn't woken up and I haven't tried to wake him up.

In my mind, being asleep is better than knowing you're trapped in here. I'm not too excited for my Demon to find out what happened.

Or what we can tell happened.

Got crashed into.

Taken.

Chained.

By her.

Once she told me to pick up a bottle because the only love I'll ever feel is the burn at the back of my throat. I drank it. At one point I started crying but just drank more, as if the unholy liquid could wash away any sins that made me feel so bad. It gave me a lump in my throat that I couldn't speak past and soon the ability to think right went too, then my legs became too weak to carry me and eventually I blacked out.

She told me that is exactly what love feels like.

So I started to think that love isn't a good thing, that I didn't want it now and I would never need it in the future.

If love felt like that, no wonder there were so many stories about heartbreak.

But then too, that burning in my throat went away the more I drank and blacking out came before my legs went. Soon I didn't cry. Soon I was able to sing at the top of my lungs and giggle past the bubble in my throat.

Soon that 'love' felt like emptiness.

I didn't like it then either.

Then love changed when she started handing me pills and needles and it changed into something that made me throw up and shake like I was having a seizure. Love was bitter, it made my tongue feel like paper and made me shiver. Love didn't ask questions, love helped me stay empty, love helped me behave for her. But she was right, sometimes love did feel good. Sometimes even, love was nice enough to make me forget.

There were days I forgot exactly what my name really was, but I never forgot what my name meant.

Unlovable. Monster. Disgrace.

Eventually, like every human, I discovered that I needed love.

But then also, like every addict, I discovered that love's real name was Death.

And as it turns out, Death didn't want me nearly as much as I wanted it. Not now and not then.

I can tell when Micah is waking up, as he stirs himself before groaning and clutching his stomach. Instantly I'm on my feet- -well one foot, since my walking is more like a hop- -my arms pulled awkwardly along my front and behind me as I get as close to him as I can. "Don't panic Micah, it's okay."

"AJ?" His voice is startled, hands instantly coming up to rip off his blindfold as he scrambles to sit up. "What the fuck?"

"Careful!" I tell him, clutching at my side since both breathing and talking hurts. "If you go to far you'll trip. We're chained up."

I'm sure I sound oddly calm, but I'm at the point of complete mental exhaustion and panic where I have so much of both that it turned me kind of numb to everything.

Slowly, the broken boy takes in his surrounds and the chains before his eyes scan me over and a dark grumble passes his lips. "Where are you hurt?"

"Never mind me, is your arm broken?"

"I don't care about that, those fucker gave me a brace. So probably. Where are you hurt?"

"I'm-" I wasn't going to worry him or tell him about how broken I think I am but I can't get the words out. "My ribs are broken and, and I think my ankle is broken t-too. I don't...I don't know what's happening Micah."

"Artemis." He stands up, looking disgusted at the chain but comes straight to me. "I don't either, but you'll be okay. I promise."

My Demon sighs as he can get within a foot of me, his good hand coming up to rest my cheek. I can't touch him, not with my hands, so I just lean my forehead up against his and let a tear flow down. We stay like this for awhile, just catching our breath.

"We'll get out of here." Micah tells me, kissing my mouth then up my cheek. "We will."

"It was her, she did this."

Tensing, his hand on me tightens on my jaw before he shakes his head. "We'll still get out of here. She can go fuck herself."

I blink up at him, just a little surprised.

"June," A voice sings. It's not hers, but it's similar -just deeper. The door is kicked open, making Micah stand taller to block my body from sight. "Do you want out of those chains?"

At seeing who it is I can't help but to gasp out, "Sidney?"

Her brother.

Smirking, he faces my Micah and closes the door behind him. "Did she ever tell you I was her first?"

The green eyed boy's jaw clenches, lips pulling into a thin straight line. "I've never heard about you."

"I'll take that as a compliment, I don't think she wants to share me."

Panic stops my voice and makes me crash to the ground since my knee jerk reaction is to get away from him, but I stepped on my broken ankle.

Sidney looks small next to Micah, since he's a scrawny 5'9" man and Micah is a giant. I think that's the only reason he doesn't try to get pass Micah- -who he would have to get pass to reach me since the door opens in a space that the Demon can easily control and block- -to touch me.

I was fourteen. Fourteen. He was eighteen.

And I didn't like it.

But she supported his advances, wanted to be my sister, so I said yes.

"Get yourself out of those chains June," He throws the knees at me, making me flinch as they slap harshly into the wall right next to my head. "Savvy wouldn't like it much if all that beautiful skin of yours kept getting bruised."

I don't think he could have said anything more perfect to make me want to keep these chains on.

I'm scared of him.

Very, very scared.

Terrified, in fact.

So I hold my breath until he leaves and we hear the door locks behind him, yet even that doesn't make the panic leave me. My body feels different when my brain is trapped by fear.

"Look at me Artemis, look at me." I can't, I can't. "He's gone, he's gone. Okay, Baby? He's gone. You're okay now. Just look at me, can you do that for me? For me."

I can do that, for him.

My entire body either starts shaking when I meet Micah's green eyes, or I'm able to breathe enough that I just notice that I'd been shaking this entire time.

"Good girl, that's all you have to do. Just breathe," The Demon's entire body is straining against his chain, tense. But his voice is gentle, calming me down enough that I can actually breathe. "Don't hold yourself like that, you're going to hurt yourself. Breathe AJ, please."

Eventually I do just that and can function well enough to undo my chains. After struggling to get the first one, the second was a breeze.

But then I instantly feel guilty, because Micah is still chained up but this is my fault.

It's my fault because she's the one that did this to us.

If it wasn't my truck, if it wasn't me he was with last night, he wouldn't be here with me.

Ignoring my thoughts- -including the intrusive ones that tell me to put my cuffs back on- -I brace myself on the walk and go over to my Demon as fast as I can without falling. Even with only one good arm, he still manages to catch me when I stumble.

"I got you, Goddess." Micah says, not pressing our bodies together but holding me close enough that his body heat makes goosebumps rise along my skin. "We never finished that talk of yours, and I know this probably isn't the place for it but I look at you and I just...I love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you, how much I care about you."

The door swings open, making me flinch in his arms.

But this time, it's not Sidney.

It's her.