So update I'm not dead. I'm back. As the title says it has been a while since I've been on here well more so taking a break. 

A lot has happened in the years I took a break. I was going through a rough patch and had to take time to heal. I am no longer in contact with my father. Won't go into why well can't even if I ever said why here.

When I had gotten to a better place last year back in July I didn't announce that I was wanting to come back and that I was doing a lot better. 

Then in August of last year tragedy struck. My dog had a medical emergency she collapsed in the yard. She was doing better after that ate a little. But a day later she refused to eat or drink I was able to get her to eat a little bit. However after that day she refused any food and water. My guardian got her stethoscope and listened to her heartbeat as her breathing was very shallow. She wouldn't move either. So she was taken to the emergency vet. Well the following day very early my guardian came home and broke the news to me. Her heart had gave in. She had a heart condition we didn't know of....one that couldn't be dealt with technology or medicine at least in making it better.

That devastated me greatly. She was only 6 years old when she passed would have been 7 in the next month or two after it. I won't lie to you guys. It almost put me into the hospital. I could hardly eat any food and what I did I was constantly gagging even at foods I loved. I almost went under 80 pounds those who known me long enough on here know I'm already underweight and that going under 80 pounds would mean drastic measures would be taken. I couldn't sleep well anymore. Every sound made me paranoid. And the sleep I did get wasn't all that refreshing and was nightmare filled.

Anyways back in June I got a puppy. When the anniversary of my dog's death came I didn't notice it at all until it passed about 2ish weeks later. The when I had to go to an ENT visit they had to weigh me and I gained about 7-8 pounds back again. I've been sleeping better.... Well at least when Raven (my puppy) isn't wanting to play at unholy hours or do the in and out game of going outside. But I'm genuinely happier and doing better. While I may not post a lot of poems I will be on here a lot more.