By eight o'clock Saturday morning, all twenty-five members of only my close family (I know, I know, but my family is mostly Mormon, so really, what do you expect from us?) are at my house, banging around and making a racket, waking both me and Ryan up.

Ryan yawns, stretching his arms over his head, and then kind of just falls down onto my chest, looking up at me through his thick eyelashes. "Don't worry," he mumbles, pecking me a quick kiss. "I'm sure we'll get through it."

I shrug, because yeah, I really kind of doubt it to be honest.

"You're mom said she talked to them," he points out, rubbing my arm.

"Yeah, I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior," I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

He smiles, but rolls his eyes back at me as he climbs overtop of me (kneeing my in the thigh in the process) and out of bed - giving me a perfect view to his amazing, and very naked ass.

I almost grow hard from the sight.

"Mmph, come back here," I whine, making grabby hands at him, but unfortunately, he's just too far away.

He shakes his head, a smirk on his lips as he pulls a pair of clean boxers from the top drawer, and slides them up his slender legs. "Brendon, like, all of your family members are just downstairs. You are not suggesting we have sex."

Gah... But... but... Ryan Ross's penis. I can't look and not have, it hurts too much.

I stick out my lower lip into a pout, and he shakes his head, boxers now completely on. "That's not going to work," he says. "Just get up. You're mom's going to come up here any second waking us up, anyway."

I groan, and reluctantly pull myself out of bed, throwing the covers off of my own naked form, and then just sit there for a few seconds, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

Something soft and light lands on my head, and Ryan goes, "Put those on. That's not fair."

I look up, confused, and his eyes slide down to my uncovered, unclothed lower half. I smirk, but I do as he says, and stand up, sliding them on. Ryan turns his back to me, as he searches through another drawer for shirts for us to wear. It's kind of funny actually, because at this point, I don't even know whose clothes are whose anymore. We share everything from t-shirts and hoodies, to underwear and socks - we just don't share jeans because Ryan's legs are 875835 times longer than mine, and 38458437 times thinner too.

We are just, so a married couple.

I sneak up behind him, and wrap both my arms around his waist, pulling him flush into my chest as I press my nose just behind his ear and nibble on the sensitive skin of his neck. "You are just so hot, you know that?" I growl. "I just want to eat you all up."

He laughs, and tilts his head to the side to look me in the eye. "Maybe later," he smirks.

Then, I just dive at his lips, and turn him all the way around, practically shoving his back against the dresser as I attack him with my mouth. He kisses me back willingly, and moans as our naked chests brushing together and my tongue rubs against his.

He slips his leg in between mine, and his hands grip at my neck, as he slowly starts grinding his hips up against mine.

Haha! I knew he couldn't resist the seduction powers of Brendon Urie!

"Ugh, Brendon," he groans against my lips as I roll my hips against his, hard and steady, "I - oh my - fuck." He lets his head fall back; smacking it against the wooden dresser behind him, but it doesn't seem to affect him much though.

I hook my fingers into the elastic of his boxers (or mine, ours, whatever) and make a dive for his neck. I don't even care if I make a mark for all of my family members to see.

I dip my hand into his boxers, and my fingers are brushing against the wiry, thick hair, just inches above my destination, when there's a knock at the door. "Boys! It's time to get up!" My mom yells, and then continues to bang on the door, so loud it makes me flinch, until I finally yell back, "Okay! We're up!" voice cracking.

Then, she leaves.

Ryan grabs onto my wrist, and pulls my hand out of his boxers. He gives me a pointed look, and I know he's totally thinking, I told you so.

I groan in frustration, as he goes back to searching for a t-shirt. I smirk as I see bright red, imprints of the drawer handles on his back.

He finally finds a t-shirt, throws it over his head, then grabs a random pair of jeans from the floor, checks if they're his, and slides them on. Before he zips up the fly, he just sticks his hand into his boxers to readjust himself so his semi-erection isn't noticeable. I let out another groan in frustration, because just, ugh. Why does my stupid family have to ruin everything?!

He leans forward to press a quick kiss to my lips once he's fully dressed, and smirks. "Now, you can go relieve yourself or whatever, but I'm going downstairs now, so..." He gives my hips a quick squeeze before sauntering out of my room, with a sway to his hips.

And that's exactly what I do.

- - -

When I get downstairs, my house is packed with Urie's, from my little cousins running around screaming, to my grandparents, and great aunts and uncles discussing like, knitting or whatever it is old people talk about.

Somehow, I manage to make it all the way to my kitchen with only a couple "Oh my gosh, Brendon! You are getting so big!" or "Give your Aunt Sophie a big hug!", however usually all of them end with them giving me a dirty look out of nowhere, and mumbling some excuse of going to talk to someone else about this thing or another. I figure they just all of a sudden realized, "Oh right, this is the gay one!" and make the quickest escape that they can. They better not have said anything to Ryan, or they're all going down (even my Uncle Richard, who's like three gazillion pounds. I'll find a way), I swear it.

I see Ryan, standing by my patio door, cup in hand as he talks to my cousin, Danielle who's about a year or two younger than us - she's about one of the only decent ones. However, I don't quite make it over to Ryan before I'm practically getting mulled over from my other cousin, Alicia, who's twenty-four and already has like, five kids or something stupid like that (but with her husband, of course). "Brendon! It's been a long time!" she gushes. "You're getting so much older!"

"Erm, yeah." I cough, because I'm honestly kind of really paranoid here, I mean, I just wacked off and pretty much rushed down here before my mom came up again and started yelling at me again. So I'm still out of breath a little, and who knows, I probably still have some cum on my stomach.

She looks down at my clothes, and frowns. "You picked an interesting choice in attire."

I'm about to say, oh my god, it's just boxers, and I just woke up, get over it, but then I look down and see it's not the boxers she's talking about. My face goes red as I see what shirt I'm wearing. Lap dance tester.

Oh my god, no wonder I was getting dirty looks.

Then, all of a sudden Ryan's at my side, and he's frowning down at my shirt (that he bought for me on Tuesday at the mall, because he thought it was just too funny. Even though, I wasn't complaining at the time, because once we got home he decided to try it out, if you know what I mean), but I so know he's trying to hide a big, fat smirk. "Brendon." He sighs, shaking his head. "What are you wearing?"

Oh, you cruel, cruel boy.

I scowl. "Shut up," I hiss. "I didn't realize I had grabbed this shirt."

"Why do you even have that shirt in the first place, Brendon?" Alicia asks, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

I shoot daggers at Ryan with my eyes, face still burning red, and he takes a sip of his drink while sending an innocent look back. "Yeah, why, Brendon?"

I resist the urge of tackling him to the ground, and settle with just sticking my tongue out at him (yes, even more mature) and push my way back through the kitchen, arms crossed over my chest in an attempt to cover the writing.

I pretend I don't hear my family members call my name as I duck through. And I'm almost safely at the stairs when my mom steps in front of me, blocking my path. "Brendon!" she cries. "There are no words for how dense you are sometimes, is there? Why in Gods name would you even think to wear that shirt?! If you think it's funny, it's not, at all."

"Mom," I whine, stomping my feet against the ground like a child, my arms still crossed over my chest. "I just grabbed a t-shirt out of my dresser without looking. If I had known, I obviously wouldn't have put it on. I thought it was my Blink shirt. Now can you please let me go change? This is humiliating."

I mean, it's bad enough I'm looked down on for being a big, fat homosexual in my family, but I don't want them to think I'm a pervert too.

My mom twitches her lips together, like she's actually thinking this over. I groan, cover my burning face with my hands for a second before I realize that Lap dance Tester is open for the public to see, and quickly move my hands back down to cover it.

"I should say no, and be mean by making you wear it until your sister gets here for being such an idiot but... yeah, it's also embarrassing for me too, you know, being your mother and all, so..." she jokes (at least, I think she is) as she steps out of my way.

I don't have time to say anything back, before I'm running up the stairs.

- - -

I don't hear the end of my shirt for the whole day. However, there is some time when my sister gets home, that I am given some peace and quiet, but that's not for long before they're back at it again.

The not-so uptight part of my family members joke about it, and tease me, and laugh, however, the uptight side turns up their noses, and scowls, acting like I'm practicing witchcraft or something as equally horrifying. I mean, for goodness sakes, it's just a t-shirt that says lapdance on it, get over it. You obviously need one, or maybe just to get laid all together.

I mean, even the first thing my sister says to me after seeing me for the first time in months is, "So, I heard about your t-shirt." Not how are you doing? Or, you look older. Or, I don't know, nice to see you!

"Don't," I warn.

She doesn't.

She introduces me to 'the most amazing man ever', Michael. I figure she wouldn't really appreciate something along the lines of 'the man I love who is also, the most amazing man in bed ever, which makes up for when he's being a total asshole and is ditching me to hang out with some skank' for Ryan, so I just decide to stick with 'my boyfriend'.

She gives him a long, judging look, face completely expressionless, and I can hear Ryan gulp beside me.

Oh, did I mention my sister also looks pretty fricken scary?

Her eyes stop on the gold cross hanging around his neck, and the tiniest smile in the history of the world appears on her lips, and she holds her hand up for Ryan to shake. "Nice to meet you, Ryan," she says curtly.

I feel him relax beside me as he takes her hand and shakes it, a wide smile on his face. I breathe a sigh of relief. I mean, it's not much, but it's something, especially when it comes to my sister.

She squints at him, a thoughtful look on her face, before she opens her eyes in realization and goes, "Aren't you the pastors son?"

Ryan's face glows red, and he lets out an awkward cough. "Uh, yeah," he mutters, and I'm surprised my mom hasn't told her this before. Has she not told her anything?

"You didn't know that?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "No. Why would I?"

"I don't know, I thought mom would have told you," I reply. "Since you know, it's kind of a big deal."

"Obviously," she snorts. "Hmm, the pastor's son. Gay. Interesting. How is that?"

Ryan goes even brighter, and see what I mean about my sister? "Uh..."

"Amanda," I start, letting Ryan off the hook, "what do you think? He lives here for a reason."

She shrugs, and then turns back to Ryan. "So, are you still religious?"

"Yeah," he answers, more firm and sure of himself this time.

She nods, approvingly. "Good. Good." She twists her lips together. "I'm guessing you haven't rubbed off on Brendon then, have you?"

Ryan looks up at me, biting his lip. "Uh..."

I smirk. "Not yet, Mandy. Maybe one day."

"Shame," she says, shaking her head.

I roll my eyes.

"Anyways, I'm going to visit... I'll talk to you later," she says. "Nice meeting you, Ryan," she gives us a nod, along with another from her boyfriend, who I had forgotten was there in the first place.

I breathe a sigh of relief when she's gone, and Ryan looks up at me, a bit scared. "Hm," he says, and that's it.

"Yeah... pretty much," I reply. "Amanda's always been a great ball of joy," I smirk, sarcastically.

"She hates me."

"She does not," I say, grabbing onto his wrist, and rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand. "That's just how she is. You're religious, that's really all she cares about."

He bites onto his bottom lip, and nods slowly, still unsure.

I press a kiss to his lips, not too innocent, the whole fact of my family members standing around me completely slipping my mind, because when I pull apart, Ryan's blushing, and about five different family members are standing around us, mouths open in shock.

I just laugh.

- - -

That night, I wake up to two fingers poking at my ass, and a warm mouth nibbling at my ear. It only takes a few seconds in my half-asleep state to realize that it's Ryan with his RMNAA.

"I want you so fucking bad right now, Bren," Ryan breathes into my ear all hot and husky, and it literally makes every hair on my body stand up straight (along with a very important member of mine) and my reply is something along the lines of, "Grphmf."

I guess he takes that as a yes (however, by the looks of it, I doubt he'd listen to me if I said no) because he viciously starts tugging my boxers down my hips, lapping the back of my neck with his tongue.

The pressing of his dick against my bare ass wakes me up a little more, and I moan, throwing my head back against his shoulder. "Condom," I mumble, staring ahead at my bedside that's just soo far away.

"I already have it," Ryan murmurs, and he's back to nibbling at my ear, while slinking a hand around my waist and down my belly to grip onto my hardening cock. He strokes my length, slowly and just enough to get me completely hard before letting go, and reaching behind him to grab onto what I assume is the lube. Seconds later he's back to poking two fingers at my entrance, but this time he pushes them both in all the way at the same time.

I let out a moan that's somewhere in the middle of pain and pleasure.

"Sh," he hisses, using his other hand to cover my mouth, slowly working his fingers into me. "Your like, whole family is in this house."

Oh, yeah. Right.

I nod, and swallow down my moans and whimpers, pressing my head back against his boney shoulder while thrusting back into his long fingers. "Hurry up," I whine, because yeah, no I'm definitely awake and very, very horny.

He curls his fingers inside of me, brushing against my prostate. I let out a curse, muffled by his hand, and press back into him, practically fucking myself on his fingers as much as I can. And just, god, those fingers. I could seriously get off from nothing but his fingers, they're that fucking amazing.

Then, there gone, and I let out another whimper in discontent over the loss of contact. "Ryannn. Hurry before I explode."

I hear him tear open a condom, and I close my eyes and count to twenty before Ryan's grabbing onto my hip, spreading my cheeks open and sliding his thick cock into me, not really holding much back.

I thrash back against his bare chest, biting onto his fingers that are now in my mouth to keep me quiet, and this is just so not even cool... except, well, okay no, what am I even talking about? Sex with Ryan is always beyond cool (okay or just sex period)... just have to keep quiet with Ryan's penis up my ass because about a quarter of my family is situated in a room somewhere in my house isn't so much.

His other hand is splayed over my stomach with his thumb pressing against my hip and teeth biting onto my shoulder to keep back his own moans, both so hard that I'll probably be marked for days. And, well... so maybe having to keep quiet is also a little (okay, really) hot in another way.

Ryan moves his mouth from my shoulder, and nudges his nose against the back of my ear. "Fuck, Bren. You feel so good," he grunts.

I respond by nibbling onto his fingertip still located in my mouth, and drop my head back, knocking it against his chin.

He thrusts back into me, hard and rough, and I close my eyes, concentrating on the feeling of him sliding out, and then back in, just lightly pressing against my prostate and filling me to the very core. I gasp into his fingers as he thrusts back into me, this time, hitting it more directly sending shocks and tingles all the way through my body, up to my brain, making me a little light-headed.

I hate this whole not facing each other thing, so I crank my neck around, yanking his fingers from my mouth and lick at his lips. It's a bit of an awkward angle, but we kiss anyway - or more like, lick at each others tongues, and he moves his hand back down my stomach, grabbing onto my already leaking cock.

Then, all of a sudden he's thrusting even harder, and deeper, and faster, and I don't think there's any way he can get closer than he already is, and god, this is so, so, so, so good. So good that I just cant help it as my mouth slips from his, and I let out a loud moan, that probably echoes from the crack under the door and down the hallway.

And shit, really, Ryan is just so good at this sex thing, which was honestly, more than I ever thought at first. I mean, Ethan was pretty fucking amazingly fantastic, but I'm really starting to think that maybe Ryan's giving him a run for his money in the whole fucking department.

"Shut up!" he hisses and totally just bites down hard onto my bottom lip for like, punishment.

This only makes me moan more because really, I like it rough.

He smiles, and slides his thumb against my tip, and we haven't been going for very long at all, but I'm so close already. "Ry," I mumble between hoarse, panting breaths.

"I know," he replies back, pressing his nose into my damp shoulder and takes a deep breath. "Me too."

I come a few minutes later, toes curling and mind momentarily turning off, but somehow, I manage to keep somewhat quiet. Ryan's thrusts become sloppy and less steady, until he's coming to, letting go deep inside of me - or well, at least in the condom inside of me - digging his fingernails into my hips.

He takes a moment to catch his breath, and maybe stop seeing stars like I currently am, before he holds the base of the condom and pulls out. I whimper, because I always hate that part.

He ties it up, then just tosses it somewhere onto the floor. "We'll get it in the morning," he mumbles into my sweat-slicked shoulder, rough voice sending vibrations all the way down to my knees.

"Yeah," I breathe, barely listening because just holy fuck.

He leans over me, just enough to press a soft kiss to the side of my mouth. "I love you," he whispers, dancing his fingers along my bicep.

"Mmm, you too." I smile contently, eyes slipping shut. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, who tops, what position or just anything, I'm always completely wiped out and just dead after our sex.

He kisses up my cheek, and up to the corner of my eye." Goodnight, Brenny," he mumbles, and I can feel the smile on his lips as he grabs onto my hand resting on side, and laces our fingers together.

"Mm, g'night, Ry," I murmur, and I vaguely wish that it could be exactly like this all the time.