I don't think anything can be more awkward than dinner that night, and I am not overreacting.

First of all, my mom decides to spend the whole time asking us embarrassing questions like, how long we've been 'boyfriends', when our first kiss was, what was it like, and worse yet, 'Ryan, when did you realize you like boys?'.

Kill me right now.

Then, there's my dad, who spends the whole time staring at me and Ryan like we've both grown a second head or something equally astonishing, and you can so tell the only thing that's going through his head is, Oh my god, my son is fucking the Pastor's son. Oh my god, I'm going to hell now too. Then, after every few minutes, it's like he realizes he's staring because he'll look down at his plate, burn holes into his food with his eyes, pick at it a little then go back to staring at me and Ryan like we've grown another head. Repeat cycle.

After dinner's finally over, Ryan and I don't waste a second before we're dashing up the stairs and into my bedroom.

Then, we end up putting in Juno, but of course, we only get past like, the beginning credits (they're long I tell you) before we're making out, and miss like, the entire thing.

You know, not that I'm complaining or anything.

- - -

The next morning I conveniently wake up to a morning wood, hot breath running down my neck, long legs intertwined messily with mine and Ryan's scrawny body pressed up against me... along with his own little problem he acquired throughout the night poking into my upper right thigh.

Oh, I can't even dream of a better way to wake up than to this.

Then without even thinking, I do the creeper thing, you know, staring down at him creepily while he sleeps with this awkward, huge grin on my face that I can't even contain. I'm sorry, but he's just freaking... ugh, just so gorgeous that I don't even have any words. Plus, I know there is no way I'd be able to get away with this if he was awake. Like, ever.

To be honest, I'm not really sure how long I lay there (and I don't think I really want to know either) before he's stirring beside me, and slowly, those amazing eyes of his reveal themselves.

He yawns, blinks a few times, then looks around with this confused look on his face for about a total of 1.2 seconds. Then, I guess once he realizes he is in fact at my house, both of us complete with a boner, he smiles, blushes and rubs his face into my shoulder.

And ugh, he even knows how to wake up beautifully.

"You were staring at me, weren't you?" he asks, voice muffled in the material of my shirt.

"Mhm..."

"Brendon! Oh my gosh," he cries, then pulls away from my shoulder only to cover his face with the palms of his hands seconds later. "I probably look like shit right now!"

I curl my finger around his, and slowly begin to try and pry his hands off his face. "Uh uh. That's impossible."

He finally lets me pull his hands off completely, and he stares up at me with this adorable, little pout on his face, his cheeks still a soft shade of pink.

I intertwine my fingers into his, lean forward and as my lips are just barely grazing his, he immediately snaps his head away. "Brendon!" He squeals, and tugs at his hands to most likely cover his face again, but I hold on tight. "I have morning breath!"

I laugh because, oh god, he has so much to learn (and okay, I've never seen something more adorable. This tells you something too, because I never think anything is adorable in the morning, ever). "So what? I do too. And anyways, morning breath kisses happen to be my very favorite, especially Ryan morning breath kisses." I press my face into the crook of his neck, and hum, "Mmmm..." into it.

He giggles, and manages to pull one hand away from my death grip to shove at my shoulder. "Bren-dooon," he whines, but I so know he loves it.

"Ryan," I whine back, and then just for the fun of it, I take one, big wet lick along his neck and over his Adam's apple.

Naturally, this only makes him squeal louder, and plants his face back into my shoulder. "Stop!" he cries, but with the giggling and the presence of his erection still pressing up against my thigh, he really doesn't sound too convincing.

"Yummy, now your neck smells like Brendon morning breath," I murmur into his hair. "Lucky you!"

He giggles once again, pulls his face from my shoulder, then gives me a short, amused eye roll before going, "Okay, you asked for it!" Then he just kind of grabs onto the back of my neck and mashes his mouth into mine with such great force it almost sort of hurts. It's wet, and lazy, and sloppy but ugh, it's Ryan so who the fuck cares? I certainly don't. Plus, he still manages to make it nothing less than amazing. Of course, it's Ryan fucking Ross after all, the undercover sex god.

It really doesn't take too long before we're making out furiously, and there's just constant teeth and nose bumping, but we don't even care. It's too freaking hot to care, honestly. I'm also pretty sure I've never had my tongue so far down someone's throat before (I mean, I can almost taste his stomach acids) or vice versa. I mean, normally, Ryan's kisses aren't so... whoa (sorry for my lack for a better word, but really, I think you get the idea). Not like, Ethan's were, with him, they were always, sex kisses, you know? Sloppy, and full of lust, and almost... meaningless? Ryan almost puts meaning into his. However, it is nice to know, Ryan is still capable of giving having some very hot, lustful kisses.

Anyway, moving on from thinking about kissing my ex-boyfriend while having a hot, hot, hot make out session with new, current boyfriend.

Ryan starts grinding his hips against mine (and I totally didn't even initiate it!) and yeah, thoughts about Ethan, totally gone. He slides his hands up my shirt, running his boney fingers along my skin and the butterflies in my stomach are going absolutely crazy under his touch. He lets out a small moan from deep inside his throat, and I'm pretty sure I even heard my name hidden in there somewhere, and just, holy shit. This is almost too much to take.

I thought after the whole thing with his father catching us talking dirty and making out, we'd be going right back downhill, back to where we started, him all, oh my god, I can't be gay! However, apparently not so much.

But then, to my complete and utter disappointment Ryan pries our lips apart (and I think I even see like, a string of spit between our mouths, which is like, yeah, ew, but remember, I don't care) and I'm thinking, oh god, if he stops us again, I swear I'll... I'll do something bad once I finally start breathing again. "Bren..." he starts, and I swear he sounds like he's about to pass out and die, he's breathing so hard (we still haven't exactly mastered this breathing while kissing thing), "are your parents home?"

"I-I don't know."

"Can they - " deep breath, "can they hear us if they are?"

"I-I don't know," I tremble out, because I really don't fucking know, and once again, at the moment I honestly really don't fucking care if the whole world and universe and whatever else there is can hear us.

Ryan studies my face, licking his lips and he's still panting like crazy, and shit, it's such a turn-on, and I am so freaking hard right now it almost hurts. I am so terrified Ryan will stop us, and I am literally crossing my fingers under the covers, praying he won't. Cause, fuck, that'd definitely be the way to kill me.

It seems like hours pass before he mutters, "Oh, screw it," under his breath, and he's pulling me back into his lips, then we're right back to where we were.

I run my hands up the back of his shirt, dancing my fingers up his smooth skin before tugging on it a little. Of course, Ryan doesn't get the hint, so I murmur against his lips, "Shirt... off?" because that's really all I can get out between heavy breaths, and that's really all I want to get out.

He stops kissing me, looks at me, unsure, but it's not very long before he's nodding and hastily pulling off his shirt, throwing it to the ground, then doing the same to mine.

He kind of falls back down on top of me, latching his lips onto my Adam's apple, and his skin is like, right there on mine, and he's still rocking his hips against mine. Just, oh god, I think I am going to die. I repeat, I think I'm going to die.

"Brendon," he gasps, then he's grabbing onto my hand and guiding it down his stomach, and stops just before the elastic of (my) his boxers.

I just kind of stop everything, and stare at him like, huh?!

"I want you to - " he starts, and I don't know if he's blushing really hard or it's just from the lack of the oxygen. I assume both. "I want you to... you know... touch... me," he stumbles out awkwardly.

Um, what? Am I hearing correctly? Did he actually just say that? Please, please don't say I'm still asleep and dreaming. Please. "Are you - are you sure?" I ask.

He bites onto his bottom lip, and nods.

Obviously, I really don't need much more convincing after that because I'm attach my lips back to his, and slowly slide my hand down the rest of his flat stomach, and down into the elastic of his boxers.

And, oh man, I'm actually doing this. This is actually happening.

Oh, and hello there, Ryan Ross' penis.

I've barely even begun to move my hand before Ryan's pulling his lips from mine, and diving his face into the crook of my neck. Then, not even a few seconds pass before he's totally biting down onto my shoulder for bloody murder.

I am so totally giving Ryan Ross a hand job in my bed, early Saturday morning, and my parents may or may not be hearing this go on right at this very moment.

Soon, Ryan's gripping onto my arm, so not only is he biting down onto my shoulder so hard that I will probably have marks later to prove it, he's also cutting off my circulation at my arm while he's at it. And I'm thinking, it's only a hand job, for goodness sakes, I cant even imagine what he'll be like for other things...

But, it is his first hand job, or first sexual like, anything, so I have to give him that.

So, noting all of this, Ryan doesn't last very long at all. I am almost kind of, sort of thankful for this because we're in a really awkward angle, and my wrist is really starting to hurt.

Thankfully, Ryan manages to rip his mouth off my shoulder long enough to moan my name out loud and clear as he comes into my hand. And oh god, I swear I have never heard anything so hot in my life.

He collapses onto my chest, and his hot breath soaks into my skin, which somehow manages to make me even more hard, and I didn't even think that was possible.

Not that I'm really complaining or anything, I mean, I just got Ryan Ross off with my own hand (and okay, I guess I'm just a good, selfless human being). That should keep me off complaining for a few good, solid days, I think. However, I still do need to get off before I explode, so I slide my hands down my own boxers and start on myself, with Ryan still pressed against my chest.

He looks up at me, then down to my hands disappearing into my boxers, then back up to me, face flushed. "Do you want me to... uh..."

I bite my lip and shake my head, even though, yeah, I really, really do. "No," I struggle out, "Lets just take it one step at a time."

He smiles, almost grateful presses a soft kiss to my lips, and rests his hand back down onto the hand that was at work just like he had before.

We lay there, after, trying to get our breathing back on track as Ryan runs his hand up and down my arm. Then he leans close into my ear, his hot breath tickling, and goes, "Thanks, Bren," he starts, "for you know, not... pressuring me or rushing me or anything. I know it's not easy for you, but it really means a lot to me."

I smile, and nod because really what am I suppose to say to that? You're welcome?

"And I want you to know that whatever happens with my dad, I still want to be with you," he continues, voice soft in my ear. "And, we will be. Even if my dad forbids me to see you, I'll do everything I can to sneak away or whatever." He pauses, presses a soft kiss to my ear, then whispers, "You mean too much to let go."