I didn't know if I was still breathing. I definitely wasn't moving, otherwise they might notice me. Was I really seeing Brandon and Hiccup there? My brain didn't seem to process it fully, let alone understand it. What the hell do those two have to talk about? How do they even know each other? What was Brandon doing on school grounds? He had graduated long ago and even attended a different school. Did they meet back here often where no one could see them? I had so many questions and no logical answers. Had I suddenly landed in a bad movie? Was this the moment I found out Hiccup had a bet going with Brandon and was only using me because of it?

No, he would never do that. I didn't believe he was a bad person or that he had been pretending the entire time. He truly liked me, he wanted to be with me. If he was collecting his money now, he'd certainly look happier, not this grim and annoyed. So clearly, he didn't enjoy the conversation, then why was he talking to Brandon, my damn ex-boyfriend? Judging by Brandon's smug grin, everything was going just the way he wanted. He wanted to make Hiccup angry, but why? He said something that only made Hiccup angrier. Brandon's grin widened, revealing his ugly teeth.

I don't know how long I watched them, but eventually Brandon gave Hiccup a mocking pat on the shoulder and walked off. Hiccup remained standing there, staring after him with a fury I had never seen in him before, his hands clenched into fists. I stayed hidden by the side of the door, waiting to see what he would do. After a few minutes, he dropped his shoulders, opened his fists, and shook his bowed head. Was he giving up? What had Brandon said to make him look so defeated?

I didn't have much time to analyze his behavior, because suddenly he turned in the direction Brandon had gone. He disappeared around the corner, and I waited a few seconds before stepping through the door to follow him. He had lied to me, he hadn't needed to grab anything. Was he really going home like he'd told me, or was that another lie, a part of some plan whatever it might be? I had to find out.

He left the school grounds through the open gate and turned right. Normally, if he missed the school bus, he'd take a city bus at the stop just a few meters away, but today he walked past it. So he really wasn't going home. My stomach felt like someone had placed stones in it. A lump was stuck in my throat, but I wouldn't let myself cry now. Why are you lying to me?

He didn't seem to notice me, so I kept following him, always staying about a block behind. He walked through the neighborhood like he knew the way by heart, like he'd walked it hundreds of times before. Where are you going?

After twenty minutes, he turned right. At first, I thought it was just another street, but when I reached the intersection, I saw the cleared gravel path of the small park that belonged to the hospital. What was he doing here? I kept following, maybe it was just a shortcut, maybe he was feeding the ducks and swans here, but he didn't stop. In the end, I found myself standing in front of the hospital's main entrance. Hiccup had just walked through the automatic glass doors and didn't seem aware of my presence. I hurried to the entrance and saw him enter one of the elevators. After the doors closed, I stepped inside as well and went to the elevators. The one he had taken showed a five. Luckily, there were always floor plans here showing which department was on which floor.

5th Floor
Ward A-B: Anesthesiology and Intensive Care, Intensive Unit
Ward C: Angiology and Gastroenterology
Ward D: Internal Medicine

I furrowed my brows thoughtfully. What would he want here? Just to be sure, I took the stairs, he might still be standing near the elevators and talking to someone. Hopefully, I would soon find out where he'd gone.

Before I stepped through the glass doors of the fifth floor, I looked around to see if he was anywhere nearby. The benches were empty, no one was walking around here, only someone at the nurses' station focused on a computer screen. I went in and ... yeah, now what? I stood lost between the wards. Which one did he go to? The intensive care unit made the most sense, what else would he want here? A check-up? So I took a chance and headed toward Wards A and B. Things were busier here. Nurses moved back and forth, dinner and medications were being prepared, and a familiar face came walking toward me. His brown hair streaked with gray, his mask hanging under his chin. His dark blue uniform matched that of the other staff. A stethoscope hung around his neck and he was writing on a clipboard.

Dr. Miller.

When he looked up and saw me standing in the hallway, his eyes widened in surprise. "Astrid! I haven't seen you in forever." He stopped and smiled.

The encounter threw me off for a moment. I had completely forgotten that Brandon's father was a doctor and worked at a hospital. The very hospital where my mother had been treated, as I now realized. "Dr. Miller, hello. Yes, I, um, after my mother died, I didn't have to come back here."

His features immediately softened. "Of course, but you seem to be doing better than the last time I saw you." Which had been at my mother's funeral. I wasn't doing well that day, I hadn't even been able to speak. He had still offered his condolences. "And call me John, like I always told you."

I smiled at him. He was one of the kindest people I knew. Brandon hadn't inherited any of it. "Sorry, old habit."

His smile deepened, bringing out his laugh lines. "So, what brings you here today?"

"Oh, um ..." I knew he wouldn't be able to give me any patient information due to confidentiality. But maybe he could at least point in the right direction. What did I have to lose? He was pretty much my only chance of finding Hiccup quickly without checking every room. "I'm looking for Mr. Haddock."

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean Mrs. Haddock?"

My heart pounded in my chest. "Yes, well no, I mean ... sorry, I meant her son. He told me he was here."

"Ah, Hiccup," he said, and I realized he had known that name for a long time. "He came to see me a few minutes ago because I messaged him. Something about his mother, which I can't tell you, as I'm sure you understand."

I nodded. "Of course."

His expression turned sad as he sighed. "Yes, poor kid. He's been coming here regularly for six years now, only to be disappointed again and again." He paused briefly, staring at the wall. Then his eyes returned to mine. "He's in room 525 if you want to see him. I have to get going, the work doesn't do itself. It was nice seeing you again." He gave my shoulder a squeeze before walking past me. My heart was pounding against my ribs.

For six years
For six years
For six years

His mother had been in the ICU for six years. Nothing had happened in the past six months, no, it had happened six years ago. Who had he meant when he said his mom kept him awake on the way to Florida? Who had cooked on Christmas Day? Was he in foster care? What about his father? What did any of this have to do with Brandon? Who was this boy I had fallen in love with?

The world spun. It felt like I was about to faint. I was shaking, slowly stepped back, and leaned against the wall. It gave me déjà vu. Back when we got my mother's diagnosis, I had also leaned against a wall. I had trembled, a ringing in my ears drowned everything else, I had stared straight ahead and couldn't think of anything else. Like someone had wiped my brain except for two words. Lung cancer, lung cancer, lung cancer. Only now, it was something else. Who are you, who are you, who are you.

Someone handed me a cup. A face appeared in front of mine, a hand waved back and forth. I saw her mouth move, but I couldn't hear her words. Then she shook me, and the world slowly came back. I blinked.

"Hey, sweetie," she said. "Drink this, it'll help."

I did, though my hand was still shaking. The cold water helped me wake up more. It let me think of something other than those three words. Who are you?

The nurse was still looking at me. "Better?" I nodded. "Good. Want me to take you somewhere?"

I shook my head and pushed away from the wall. "Just ... just a little shock. I'm okay. Thank you." I held out the cup, and she took it.

She gave me an encouraging smile. "It'll be okay." Then she walked off.

I took a few deep breaths before leaving the ward and heading to the elevators. On the way, I pulled out my phone to message Jack.

4:29pm
Can you please send
me Hiccup's address?

He came online as I stepped out of the elevator and walked toward the exit. He didn't start typing, so I sent another message.

4:30pm
I know it, Jack

My heart was still pounding against my ribs. If he didn't give it to me, I didn't know what I would do. I didn't want to go upstairs to room 525 and see Hiccup's mother on her deathbed. Because that's what it was. Someone who had been in the hospital for six years wasn't going to leave it alive. I had already seen one mother lying there, I couldn't see another ...

He replied with an address, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I opened Google Maps, entered the address, and started walking.

❁

I stood in front of a small two-story brick house, which had a wide garage on the left, in front of which a green pickup truck was parked. Google Maps had led me here, so this must be the house where Hiccup lived. Whether with his father or a foster family, I would soon find out. I walked along the cleared, paved path to the front door, climbed the two steps onto the porch, and rang the doorbell. My heart was in my throat, and I was about to run away, but then I heard heavy footsteps behind the door and froze on the spot.

The broad-shouldered, blond man I had seen with Hiccup at the pizzeria last year opened the door. His hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, and above the collar of his shirt, I could again see the top part of a tattoo. He looked at me with furrowed brows, as if he couldn't quite place me.

"Uh," I said awkwardly. "Hello, I'm Astrid, Hiccup's ..."

"Girlfriend?" he finished with an accent.

I nodded. "You know about me?"

He laughed in response, deep and loud, which confused me. "Of course I know about you. He's been talking about no one else for months. Come on in, he's still out. You're welcome to wait for him here."

"Oh, uh, thank you," I said, still confused, but I stepped inside.

He closed the door behind me and walked past. "You can place your shoes with the others, just hang your jacket on a free hook. Would you like a hot cocoa? My partner makes the best."

I just stood blinking in the hallway. Was this really happening? He was so friendly to me, as if I were part of the family. As if he hadn't just seen me for the first time. He called down the stairs that I was here, probably to let his partner know. Then he turned to me with a smile and seemed to notice my surprise. His smile faded, and his eyes darkened. "He didn't tell you, did he?" I shook my head. He sighed, and at that moment, his partner appeared. It was a man with long black hair braided into a ponytail, the biggest smile ever on his beautiful face. He wore a loose T-shirt with a photo of Harry Styles on it and baggy lounge pants.

"Ohh, you must be Astrid," he said and came over to wrap me in a hug. He didn't give me time to respond, he was already holding me at arm's length. "I'm so happy to finally meet you."

"Javier," said the other man, whose name I still didn't know. But Javier didn't seem to hear him.

"Hiccup has told us so much about you. About tutoring and the parties and Christmas. You're really as pretty as he said, I can't believe it."

"Javier," the other said again. He now stood next to him, which caught Javier's attention.

"Yes, mi amor?"

"She doesn't know."

Javier's joyful face collapsed, and it made me feel endlessly sorry. "¿Qué dices?" Is Javier the reason Hiccup speaks Spanish so well?

The other man sighed again. "He didn't tell her."

Javier looked back at me, this time so sadly it hurt my heart, and took my hands in his. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I must have completely overwhelmed you. I thought, since you know where we live ..." He didn't finish the sentence.

"I asked Jack to give me the address," I said, trying to explain somehow. I just didn't know how to move forward from there.

Javier seemed to sense that. "Where are our manners? Take off your shoes and jacket, then let's get cozy and you can tell us everything. Give me your backpack, I'll put it aside."

Ten minutes later, I was sitting on the wide couch with a cup of hot cocoa, explaining my day. How I had seen him with my ex and followed him to the hospital, where I found out about his mother. I explained how I had never understood why he didn't talk about his parents, that he never mentioned them. But they seemed used to that.

"We don't know why he hides it, he's never explained it to us," said Gobber, the tall, blond man with the tattoo, who had introduced himself once he realized I didn't know his name. He was sitting next to me in an armchair, Javier perched on its armrest.

"Are you his foster parents?" I asked, since their relationship still wasn't clear to me.

"Something like that," said Javier.

Gobber placed a hand on Javier's leg. "I'm Hiccup's godfather, Javier is my husband, or wife, depending on the day."

The question must have been written all over my face, because Javier laughed and then said, "I'm non-binary. I don't feel fully male or fully female. Some days I feel more feminine, others more masculine. Gobber likes to joke about the husband-and-wife thing." That explained the moments when Hiccup had spoken about his mother.

"Oh," I said. "May I ask which pronouns you prefer?"

He smiled at me. "He or she, I don't mind. Both are fine." I nodded and took a sip of my cocoa.

"Jack and Elsa know, right?" They nodded.

"The thing with him is ..." Javier began, looking at Gobber and then back at me. "He and Hiccup go way back, they have a bit of a history. But that's not for me to tell."

"Of course."

We were silent for a moment. I tried to process all the new information. Hiccup lived with his godfather and his partner, who had taken him in six years ago when his mother was hospitalized and his father ... Since they didn't talk about him, I assumed he was no longer alive. And Hiccup also had a bit of a past with Jack, of which I only knew that they had been best friends for over five years.

Javier got up. "Hiccup should be home any minute. I'll show you to his room, where you can tear into him for lying to you." I'd only just met Javier, but I already loved him.

Gobber stayed in the armchair as I followed Javier up the stairs. He opened one of the white doors for me and let me in. "Here it is. Good luck." And with that, I was alone.

Hiccup had two tall, full bookshelves, a neatly made bed, and a desk full of folders. A large window with a windowsill held an orchid, a cactus, and a bonsai tree, overlooking a snow-covered garden. Above the desk were two shelves stacked with more books. Pride & Prejudice, Little Women, Wuthering Heights, The Great Gatsby, 1984, and more. Of course he loved the classics, he probably had the whole Jane Austen collection. His bookshelf held books from the twenty-first century. The Hunger Games, Divergent, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Maze Runner, and more I didn't recognize by name. He seemed to have a thing for dystopias and fantasy since those dominated the shelf. In the middle, Twilight glinted at me, reminding me of that one conversation we'd had. Which mother had he meant when he told me she loved Twilight?

I sat on his bed, still holding the mug in my hands, and looked at the photos and drawings scattered across the walls. Jack was in many of them, some of the more recent ones also showed Elsa. Stacy was in none. One photo on his nightstand showed a red-haired man with a beard, his arms around a woman with long brown hair. Both smiled into the camera. Their resemblance made it clear they were his parents.

This was Hiccup's life, his personality, and he had wanted to hide it all from me. I finally wanted to know why, so I would stay here until he came and answered everything.

It didn't take long before I heard footsteps in the hallway coming this way. When he opened the door and saw me sitting on his bed, he froze. His face went pale, his eyes widened. I don't think he even breathed. Javier and Gobber seemed to not have warned him, Jack hadn't written him.

His shock slowly melted because he was able to say one word: "Blyat."

———

Did you expect this? What happened to Hiccup's parents? And what does it have to do with Brandon? Let me know your theories ☺️
Here the translations:
¿Qué dices?: What are you saying?
Blyat: Shit