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I didn't fall asleep. Not at all. Daryl wasn't with me and Addie wanted to sleep downstairs with Carl. She apologies, but in honesty...I lost my teddy bear too, quiet literally. Along with Snowball.

Instead, I took over taking care of Judith, reading to her softly with a little light. Something I found a while ago, just a long list of children fairytales. Nothing too big, but Lori was always open to new stories to tell Carl. Even Addie, we both lived on each others kids.

Although she wanted me to sign Addie up for dance, it was relatively easier to sign both our children up for baseball and the entirety of us could come and watch the game. I held onto one of Daryl's shirts, not until I wore it did I realize I am more than pissed at him for leaving.


I realized he broke his god damn promise.
 

If Merle got into the car and we drove off, we could've settled this here instead of having them right outside the red zone. But every time I closed my eyes, I saw the two of them fighting. I heard Addie's screams, and as much as I wanted to take a smoke outside. Baby Judith needed my attention, even if she was soundly asleep now.

Wasting the flashlight on reading a bit more was on my own agenda, I kept thinking. Lost in my own thoughts.

If Daryl were here, he'd—
He's not. That's the reminder I'm giving myself.

Didn't think I'd be this heartbroken over a break up during this god damn apocalypse.

The second the sun came shining through, I found myself bringing the baby outside my room and starting on breakfast. I didn't get that far, both Carol and Beth took control right away. From both cooking and taking care of the baby, so it was my change to go outside, taking the lawful fresh air on top of the catwalk as I breathed in the toxic fumes.

Daryl did this to me too now. Got me addicted so much so that Rick was standing off, completely in shock. "Hmm, come here to tell me I'll get cancer if I kept smoking?" I joked, just lighting another one. But with that, did he take the general seat beside me. His back to the metal fence as he shook his head and stumped his elbow to his risen knee.

"Thought he was kidding...Back when he said you—" I didn't allow him to finish my sentence, instead I huffed as I inhaled and exhaled right away. Puffing loudly as I was more than angry.
There was a song just stuck in my head, and the background music was just screaming in my head as I didn't want to have the constant reminder of that. 

"I—I'm sorry...For not letting Merle say, he—" I shook my head, getting rid of the ash to the floor beside my boot. "Don't be...It's better that I didn't tell. Makes it easier on her." He nodded.

But we soon sat in silence once more.
 It felt odd. Odd as in how close he was sitting to me, and after yesterday. I think we need to talk about how—My thoughts completely betrayed me as Rick stood straight up, quickly at that. And completely dismissed me to run downstairs.

Seeing him take leave towards the graves did I question whether or not he found her body. There were one too many graves to be just T's and...And I think Carol has a plot as well. He just kept walking with a machine gun over his shoulder towards said graves.

My fingers interlocked to the metal wires surrounding me as I was careful to examine it. But the man turned back, twirling around and around as he lost what he was looking for. Until he found it once again, just staring directly in it's wake.

Him opening the first fence to get through the second had me worry as well. Making Michonne responsibly for closing the given few.

The women looked to me now, and I did the simple 'watch him,' motion with my two fingers going from my eyes to his as I gestured for one single minute. I needed to get Hershel, he needs to see this...He's just completely loosing it to the point of seeing someone.

"Goodmorning Blake, have you seen—" Hershel started talking once I ran on in, and I nodded as I was quick to go to his side. 

"We have a problem." I simply put, and Maggie traded seats to get another look. But with the kids just staying before me, a smile off from Addie had me smile as well. "Carl, can you show me your comics again?"

She's too damn smart.

He took that as the opportunity to do something, and they both ran off to their shared room. Leaving me with Hershel to discuss what happened. As we spoke, everyone tried to burry themselves into doing another task. But they were listening, even Addie and Carl probably were.

This was a medical diagnosis and there wasn't anything more lethal than that.

"He thought he came through here..." My head looked up from my cold bowl of oatmeal, eating it through the given sips of water to get it down. Addie was holding Judith once again, and Beth right beside her. Tying a bracelet around her wrist, and if I didn't notice any differently, it seemed that Beth had redone the braid in my daughter's hair as well.

The chalk scribbles on the floor indicated what tombs we cleared I suppose, guess a lot of work was done when we went out on a run the other day.

"...Means there's another breach...Okay. The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn stated, but the hesitation on Beth's behalf had her speak on up from beside my daughter. "Why are we even so sure he's going to attack?... Maybe you scared him off." Addie froze in the second, looking to me as if she was allowed to speak.

So I nodded.

"...He had fish tanks full of heads. Geeks and humans...He attacked Michonne. I think he's coming." She finished, but the way she spoke, even she felt afraid. Afraid of the fact that the man she trusted was suddenly coming her way, and the only protection she used to feel came from Merle. 

And he's gone.

"...We should hit him now." 

"What?" My daughter questioned Glenn in the instant. And he claimed that he 'wouldn't be expecting it.' My hand already dived into my palm as I looked around the room for any given sense as to why he was making this plan already.

"...We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head." Keeping myself hidden did Carol just make a joke, 'we're not assassins,' and I knew without looking up that eyes were on me yet again.


"Blake...You know where his apartment is. You and I could end this tonight." He spoke, his body leaning over the metal table where I was just trying to calmly eat my food in peace. I was supposed to get Hershel, and Michonne is out there this very moment trying to watch our leader fall apart.

A job I don't think anyone is capable of.

"...I'll do it myself..." I didn't know what to say, so when Hershel spoke up. I smiled that it turned Glenn away from this revengeful status. I thought his beef was with Merle, not the governor?

"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened. You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. These two were threatened. And you and Maggie were almost executed." I wanted to cover my daughter's ears from what Hershel was saying, but she looked to me. Her eyes completely threatening to tear up. 


"...Is...Is that why he left?" I closed my eyes and gave her a silent nod. And when I opened them, she was already in the product of moving right along back towards her room with tears flowing down and her fist attached to her eyes. Maggie tried to comfort her, but didn't react well.

"...Rick will never allow this." Hershel stated. "You really think he's in any position to make that choice?" I rolled my eyes, and that put Glenn at the head of our crashing bus? I don't think so, I might've lost Daryl but I haven't lost my mind.

"We can't rush into anything. We need to have a plan." He nodded, but even then Hershel took the lead on this. Glenn was...Scaring me a little bit, it seems like all the men were loosing their alpha and didn't know how to respond to that.


"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori too. The men that were here. It isn't worth any more killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now." The doctor stated, but one look to his eldest daughter and even she disagreed.

So I verbally stated that as well. "No." 

"And go where?" Glenn spit, but Doc only took it as a quick retatlitation of power. "We lived on the road all winter." 

"Yeah...That was when we didn't have a baby and you had your leg...The governor isn't after this place, he's after us, a group." That's what I was getting after, the prison isn't offering anything more except a shelter. The man doesn't want it to move his people, he has a nice town.

"We can't stay here." 

"We can't run." Soon Maggie took her leave, saying she was going to check on Addie. Thanking her and nodding to Glenn continue to claim we're 'making a stand,'

"You'll need some help." I offered, not knowing exactly the plan. Was more interested in Maggie being allowed into the cell room at my daughter's behalf, glad Greene forgives her so quickly.

"No, in case anything happens. I need you out here...Who's on watch?!" Just as I was about to respond, he stormed out. Swearing enough that I made it to Carl's ears to cover them.

I spent the next damn hour loading and going over our ammo. I check the administrative buildings and found a few loose pistols, nothing to brag about completely. What I'm more interested in is the safes, that is my next project...If we live through this.

At the Quarry, we started with the entire king's county weapons rack, and now we're barely considered a small section in Walmart as it turns out. I'd buy this much ammo in a sitting.

However, the quick breath of Glenn had me rise from my station. Michonne was still outside, watching Rick as Hershel claimed he needed to be alone for a little bit. My idea was to coddle and I understand why that doesn't work. Anymore atleast.

Hershel knew what was going on, or what happened. He didn't question or judge, but he knew. And gave that away so easily. But didn't present the issue of telling anyone.
"The tombs outside the boiler room are overrun again." I rose from my seat once again. 

"That whole section had been cleared out," I argued back, thinking Rick did so before we left on our run.

We need Daryl. Addie's right, we're weak without him. Without them both. "It's a steady stream of walkers." My daughter went up to Carl, checking to make sure he was alright as she offered his sister to her.

Lori would be so happy to see his son talking, conversing, being a child again. And with Addie at that, she'd be astatic.

"We're wasting time. The governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers." I used up all my actions to make anything new to make it seem that the situation is getting worse. Every time I hear something, I shake my head, I groan, I hold my face in my hands.

This time, I was just completely out of reactions to even give anything to go off of.
"For the last time, running is not an option." "If the tombs have filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push in here." I pointed my finger up, to claim that I have an idea. Beth stated that a fence could way but that won't happen.

"There are some fences in the workshop, they manufactured them here..." They nodded, but as the conversation drowned out. I just left myself thinking that maybe going with the Dixon brother's would've been the better choice.

But leaving my family here would've made me a hell of lot more guilty. If we run, it'd be the same out there that Merle and Daryl are facing. Except we're lacking our own Dixon support.

When Glenn stormed out, Hershel asked me to follow. And that I did, however the poor man in the crutch, the one who was trying to keep everyone together was having difficulty in walking towards the run away.

Not until he stopped walking to return back.

"...You're not going back to Woodbury, are you?" The hesitation after the Doc's just screamed 'yes,' but what came out of Glenn was a lie. If we came outside just a few minutes too late, I think we would've met a different approach.

"I'm just looking for those fences Blake talked about...I got it." 

"By yourself? How can you possibly think that's a good idea." My hands were strapped around my waist, just waiting for a more simple approach to lead us through this shitty mess.

Carol and Axel were setting up a catwalk to defend, we're not powerful enough to fend against the teeth this man possess. Not even close, the best we have is a fortress, and even that is working against us.


"I can't just sit on my hands." Glenn stated, but Hershel huffed. "You went on a simple formula run and got the crap beat out of you. Maggie was attacked. Blake was—" 

"Are you saying this is my fault?!" I held out my hand between the both of them as Hershel couldn't, I even answered for the poor man.
"I did what I could." 

"And Maggie knows this, but Glenn. This...This warpath is going to get you killed. This rage. I felt it before." Glenn began to bite the inside of his cheek, something I followed in pursuit of copying because I needed something to get the edge off. 
And picking at my nails weren't cutting it anymore. "With Daryl gone and Rick wandering Crazytown, I'm the next in charge..." He stated, walking away. So I let out my whistle as I saw where this is going in both our minds.

But the thoughts were rolling in my head so quickly. As Doc was about to following again. I held out my hand for him to stop. "What are you trying to prove?... Going the wrong way! Fences are that way!" I rolled my eyes as I saw Glenn maneuver the damn truck back towards the other way.

"He's worried about you too...About Dary—" "I'm fine." I stopped him, the heartache was enough. So why was everyone trying to get me to keep talking about it?


"And Addie? She's a sweet girl...Takes after her mother a lot...You want her to stay here?" 

"She's with me. That's what matters." I spoke, pointing off towards Rick as I was about to use the tactics we talked about.


"I'd walk there, but I can barely get to Glenn...We gotta keep this group together Blake, it's falling apart and I'm worried." I smiled, going off toward Michonne as she gave me the slight nod.
"Everything alright inside?" 

"Prison is overrun in a few sections, low on members. Some of us think we should leave...Everything alright here?" Her stare soon drifted over towards Rick as he was just hovering around the same spot once more. I remember a bridge being there, some of the patrol men liked to walk that at times.

"I want to say thank you, for everything that you did for my daughter." 

"Wasn't enough. Wish I got her out of there." I hummed, smiling to her. And for the first time in the history of meeting this woman, did I receive the smallest bit of a smile.

"Get something to eat, rest up. Doc says you might have a concussion." She hummed, taking grip of her sword on her back as I chuckled. "Addie likes that. A lot." 

"She's good with a bow. She still have it?" I nodded, and the conversation ended there as she wanted her meal and I wanted to talk to Grimes.
He was peering at the edge of the woods now, and as I trailed closer towards the fence. I started to call for him, but his reaction to not hearing the correct location of the sound worried me. What else was he hearing.


"Rick!...Rick!" I shouted, I didn't want to bring the walkers closer, but as he was moving across the bridge did he finally see me. He was sweaty as all hell, cautious at best towards me as he felt confused. 
"You know I wouldn't have missed lunch to come all the way down here if it wasn't important...Are you coming back soon?" I simply put, but the dramatic response Rick had wasn't going to be brought by my hesitation. Instead I listed the things he needs to fix. And now. 

"...Glenn's on a warpath. Smart as he is, he can't fill your boots. He's reckless, and we're afraid. We need you now more than ever." I pleaded, the brink of tears coming closer towards me. This was the man I was sleeping with just the day before, and now look what happened.

"Well, if you're so worried about him why don't you lead." 

"...What are you doing out here?" I changed the topic and that had him stumble and crumble to bits. He completely charged his aura as he couldn't even begin to form a straight sentence.


"I've—I've been—...I've got...Stuff out here. Stuff." I wanted him to elaborate on said 'stuff,' but I need him back. Not just for myself, but the kids and the people looking to him for guidance.

"How much longer do you need?" 

"I...I don't know. I don't—" A tear escaped without permission and I just blinked the rest away. Maybe if he saw me crying then he'd come back. He'd realize or wake up to what's really going on around here.


"Is there anything I can help you with?" He looked up now, his eyes just blank and nothing as they were before. But if he wasn't going to talk, then I don't need to be here.

Hershel's right, we should leave. Grab one of the buses and drive far and long away from this shitty hell hole.

"...I'm sorry...I'm sorry for yesterday. But...I-I just lost Daryl...I can't lose you too." I said, holding onto the fence. But when his expression stated neutral to what it was, I just shook my head and continued through back towards the main building. "I saw something..." He started, making me return to see he was up against the fence as well. My heart clenched when I heard the name.

For we held the same level of regret.
"I saw Lor—I'm seeing Lori...Look, I know it's not really her. But there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something, you know?" I nodded, thanking the heavens that he knows he's chasing a figment of his imagination. But my eyes widened at, was the sheer idea that this is my fault. That this Lori is angry because of what we did.
"When did you start seeing her?" 

"When she...She died...I...I-I-I got a call on the phone. It was her...Shane too. And the town." There was a phone call? But most importantly, he mentioned Shane.
 Something we haven't discussed since that night we ran from the farm. My breath felt trapped as I tried not to say the wrong thing, it hurt me to see this man before me, my best friend just fall completely down in a spiral motion.

And partly due to my actions.

"...Rick. You're looking for them..." 

"I'm waiting." 

"For what?" It was a back and forth response, not even an ounce of thought as I went with instincts. We barely took the accountability into talking about what happened yesterday that I can't fathom losing him again if we talk.

So my feelings have to wait.

"I don't know. Something. There's an answer. I know it doesn't make sense. Well, it does. It can make sense. I mean, I think in time it will make sense." He continued to ramble on and on until I whispered his name. 
His head was peering off in a different direction, so when I did speak. His head shot back towards me in an effort to listen. 

"Rick...? Come on in. You need rest...To hold Judith. It's not safe out here..." He didn't say anything other than two words on a complete repeat. 'I can't,' and it was the feeling of losing him too that had me breathe right against my blocking hand.
I failed Lori and I failed Judith. 
Not to mention the rest of the group.

So I watched him walk on off, making it to the bridge as I wanted to push him in. Yell at him for walking from me. I had that enough in my life that I didn't accept that he did this. Letting my head hang down, did I just shiver at the feeling of being alone.

However, the crack of gunshot had me get down to the ground in the instant. 


"Rick..." I hissed, removing my pistol from right on under me. But the machine fire towards Rick and the bridge had him take a leap of a drive towards the grass. On my end did I try to stay hidden in the tall grass, trying to take the given peek upwards but there was no such luck.
They have ammo to waste, I don't.

I don't know who's outside, but the look of someone on the tower gave me a target, and that's exactly who I went towards while Rick was firing off towards the woods somewhere else.

The dust clouds that continued forward took a sudden stop. But the shout of Maggie and the given extra ammo allowed us final say. I finally got one sniper, from my shitty quick shot my instructor would've made me do ten laps for.

But I got him.

And it was the end once more, complete silence. However, the loud storming of a truck sounded off, not waiting for either fence to come through. It's ruining our defense, parking smack in the middle allowing the engine to run.

What the hell was the point in—
That's when the back fell flat, and the army of the undead ran through. The sound completely rushing past myself as I reloaded my gun, quickly I might add. But once I popped up, I needed to get down once more because the firing shots were still active.

They didn't leave.
The groan that escaped my lips was completely involuntarily, nothing prepared me for the piercing pain that barked through my vocal cords and out. Looking to my leg now did I realize what happened, it was just a graze. Happened before, I'm fine.

Taking off the bandana from my wrist, a thing both Beth and Maggie do and I subsequently just followed to be fashionable as well came in handy as I tied it tightly. But the groans were in response to the pain, while the others grew louder in conquest.

"Blake!" Rick yelled, and the gunfire was just now the loud echo. I was lacking bullets, and everyone around me had another target to mess with.
 

Act like there's barb wire above you. Act like there's a roof. 

And that's how I crawled out. But even more so, my hesitation took a final turn when dust covered my entire way. Walkers were cutting it close, and each time I crawled. It was a loud awakening to my nerves that began to flare up.

The sound of Rick's python never sounded better, but even that lasted for a few minutes. And when I realized the gunfire was lacking, I rose to my knee. Taking fire to the given few but even then that didn't help.

"MOM!" I heard Addie scream for me, and the zooming aim of an arrow took hold of one of the walkers closets to me. At first, I thought it was Daryl. But the given quick reload was my daughter's attempt, so with no bullets left did I rise to my feet. Only to fall at the brutal pain that wrecked my balance.

Michonne ran towards me, slicing and slashing her sword to get to me. But the rush of Glenn's truck took the final approach in getting to me. Asian hopped on out of the car, running towards me as I offered my arm in the quick pursuit of getting me to safety. Addie was a good distance away, that being Michonne's first greet words. And with her free arm around me now, did they hurry me into the truck.

The safety walls allowed me to groan and tighten the hold around my bleeding thigh. It hurt, hurt more than I thought possible. And once we were behind the given fence, Addie plowed her way through the crowd. As did Carl. 
They weren't tall enough to hold me up, so that is what Michonne took the lead in doing. Along with placing her arm against Addie and praising her for a job well done.

"Where's dad?" Carl pipped up, and that's when my eyes shot open from this given embrace. Removing myself from the women's hold did I look past the car to where I was originally located. Seeing Rick and two other figures beside him.

"Fucking Dixons..." I breathed, leaning against the car now for support as I sighed down. Closing my eyes and having Addie return so that her little child heart wouldn't burst on me now. "Mom...I thought...I thought you were—" 

"I'm fine. Sweetie it's alright...I'm fine." The look of concern grew, and I knew it was as Addie didn't see them just yet. 

Carl did, everyone else did.

But this was a reaction I was more than worried in seeing...

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Date Posted: 11-26-18

Time: 12:24

Word-Count: 4515

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I edited so many chapters get excited! Sunday's are back:)