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Aurora Blake Spector Holden's POV

The words still repeated in my head ever since it left my mouth, and even now as I held onto my daughter as we sat around a dead fireplace. Awaiting our leader, and as Shane rolled around behind the given man. I smirked loudly, just inside. Oh how much he loved that position, bossing people around.

All this and that.

They just returned from a perimeter check, and it was Shane who was the first to speak up. And although I've been working on the apology to Lori, it seemed to need another given few minutes until after.

"I've been...Uh— I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no—There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that..." Shane started, but the way Lori's eyes averted each and every way as he spoke meant there was another fight breaking loose. 

Part of me wants to tell Rick, to consult him on how much has happened since he's been in a coma. Make sure he knows it only happened recently, but more importantly it's not fair to Carl.

"...I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts...I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together. So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?"

Nobody responded to Shane, not after he spoke for Rick and everyone was looking to the man across instead of the lecturing one. And even after his question rang through the air, the only thing that was echoing was the small snores that Andrea created. 

She was up all night like most of us, and instead of fumbling any further. With waiting around, did I quickly go off to Lori right before she was checking on Jim. 
"I...I wanted to say sorry for my outburst...I—"
"Rick told me...What happened in Atlanta." My eyes immediately shot out of my sockets as I stared at her, blinking the given few times to try and repicture what she had just stated. "He told you?"
"He said there was a close call, he didn't say anything more...Blake, please tell me what happened." Her hand offered on my shoulder, and my smile erupted for a given second as I tapped it.

Her affection was unneeded and unwanted, I'm only apologizing because I know it was wrong of me to say, verbally.

Doesn't mean I was wrong in general.

"Maybe another time," I mumbled, trying to act entirely stressed about the situation. But in fairness, I was more angry at the fact that Addie was left to defend herself last night, and it still roared in my mind with that.


Night soon came, quicker than expected. Daryl had hunted a bit and returned with a few squirrels, and the leftover fish from last night was enough to be past around again. But it was the odd silence of what to say, or how to speak that came along with it.

But the second I saw Carl whisper to Addie, I closed my eyes in contact with Rick. Knowing what was about to come, and he chuckled at the given insight that we both figured it out. 
"Mommy...Can you sing the song?" I chuckled, fixing my position against the log as she too followed in pursuit. The fire was burning loudly, but the shared blanket over our shoulders was enough to keep us completely warm. 

Although Daryl's eyes have been staring dead directly into the heart of the fire, I saw them take a steady beat this way.

I didn't want to sing.
I can't.

But the pleading eyes of all the kids had me sigh, rubbing my face downwards before I looked to my daughter and souled too her. 

"There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away, too..." 

The instant the moon was mentioned, did my daughter's and my arms connect as we pointed to the full moon rising over our heads. And I smiled and laughed out the lyric as it felt that only me and her were all that was left.

My daughter sang the full thing, while I heard little Carl humming and singing the chorus. But even Sofia pipped up a bit. When I glanced up to Rick, he silently let out a small clap. Followed by my friends.

But Daryl didn't do anything. His position was the same, his knees risen and arched. And his arms overlaying them. But still, no reaction. Not at all. Not until he rose to his feet and went straight to the woods.

I tried not to act hurt, to act normal, like him being here wasn't any different than before. But he made that fucking difficult, over a song. He knew that song, and it burned my heart, even more, knowing that he knows that as well.

He was right before, he knows me.

Who am I fucking kidding?

 *

Laying in bed was a given, that and because the sun was yet to rise. But sooner or later was it going to occur, and by the lack of snoring my tent. I think myself, Addie, Glenn, Sofia, and Carol will all feel much better taking a move on from this tent.

It is big, but the feeling of everyone breathing on top of one another is horrifying. I just trust Glenn not wanting to sleep alone in his own tent, and I am completely fine with him here.

We're leaving today, leaving the quarry.

And although we've stationed here for little over a month, it might be better to keep a move on. To see what parts of the area might be safer than this. If we can fortify something, anything...It'd be better and my conscious won't be hurt for the fact that I didn't make it to D.C.

Rising to pull my tank top over my body, seeing as how I only slept in a sports bra. And before I knew it, I was pulling my jeans up and my boots to match. With my hostler in hand did I make it out of the tent. "We leaving yet?" Glenn mumbled, half asleep and half awake. So I shushed him, claiming to give him a few more minutes as he nodded off once again.

Shaking my head in the moment did I wrap my belt around, seeing Rick coming from a different section of the hill before making his way down. But the second he saw me, was his attention changed. "Mornin'."
"Goodmorning officer." I joked, seeing as how he was in full uniform instead of the dirty shirt from yesterday. 

"We need to have a talk about—"
"I already apologized to Lori, I'm sorry for yesterday...I—" He shook his head, his hands went up in protest so I stopped talking to let him speak. 

Instead, he hesitated multiple times. "I know a lot has happened, both here and...And when I was in a coma..." He started once again, but like the last sentence. He seemed to have trouble with placing the correct words over and over again.

"Guess we can start with what happened between you and Shane...?" He questioned, or tried to make it a question. But it formed in my mind as a demand, and so I stumbled with the outcome, so full of rage and anger.

But for Carl, I kept my mouth shut.

"It was hard...When you went down, we took care of Carl and Lori..."
"And I'm forever grateful for that, but that ain't Blake."
"I don't know, it's just a falling out." Shrugging along did I know for a fact that this was going to continue. And by the huff from his noise, I crossed my arms around my stomach.

"A-a-and Merle? Daryl?...Shane and I never heard of them before."
"I was different, but when I knew them."
"He called you Rory." His hands went up in defense at my sudden reaction, my mouth fumbled as I lipped my lips trying to pull myself together.

"Like I said, I was different...Before Toby." Adding the lie to equation settled the score, no one liked talking about Toby.

He nodded at the mention, offering another hug and I took it. But moved away quickly once I realized everyone was waking up for the day.

Barely ten minutes later, did Addie come running through. Claiming her backpack is all packed and she's ready, but reminding her that we have to take the tent down did she sigh. Almost frowning to the point of no return, and I couldn't place why.

So as she gripped onto my leg once more, did we look to Shane as he explained the layout of this trip. "... Alright everybody listen up. Those of you with C.B's we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay? Now you got a problem, don't have a C.B, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan." 
His sudden directives had me nod, but the way Daryl continuously bitting hit lip, his nails. Even the inside of his cheeks. I didn't realize how stressed he is about this, then again...He's alone.

"We're, uh...We're not going..."
"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people." Morale's explained, and his wife finished it off. Shane tried to argue with them, but I can see that they've talked about it, like they too began to argue.

The given gesture of either of them as they went straight for the bag, they were offering him a pistol. Enough ammo for the trip at least, but that wasn't what caught my eye, or ears. It was the scoff from Daryl.

As the wife said her 'thank you's, I followed Lori's approach as well as Addie. As the two girls ran to hug one another, rocking back and forth as they couldn't identify their strength.

Going to the kids did I offer them hugs as well, and that was it. They were gone, in the car and off. 
Now with my daughter back in my arms, upset once more. I began to rub her shoulder, but the only comfort that seemed to be working, is when she hugs the bunny. And it was packed away in the bag, somewhere in the tent.


"What makes you think our odds are any better?" Shane challenged, and I glared at him before going off. Telling Addie to go and get her backpack and put it in the jeep.

As she ran forward I stopped in front of Dixon, who still was biting onto his nail.
The sudden appearance of my boots probably caught his eye, as he was staring at the ground trying to juggle his nerves. "You okay?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I shook my head, closing my eyes as I mockingly pointed out. 

"You still do that...When you're nervous." I said, rolling my eyes at his second scoff this round. 

Taking apart the tent was simply, it was getting everything into the truck that was the hard part. And while Shane was managing elsewhere, Daryl wondered off towards me once more. I saw him coming a mile away, and that was partly due to the fact that I was glancing at Merle's bike.

Over and over again.

The memories of that fucking thing, same with the truck...

"This a good time?" He asked, honestly. No longer mean or coughed out as a scoff, so I laughed. Pushing through the given duffle bag as I returned back to what used to be the tent and pushed it through. "It's the end of the world, go for it Dixon." As senseless as that was a joke, he took the opportunity. And surprisingly enough, he too took hold of a duffle bag and placed it into the truck.

Offering more help than Shane at this point. "...Did ya really stay in Georgia?" 

He asked, out of all the things he could have asked, this was the one question that burned in his mind. And it too rang in my mind for another minute, and then I realized what he was getting at. 

"Yes...I did. That summer I left and came back...Guess the taste of regret doesn't feel so good. Huh?" I taunted, and after the song incident last night. I'm not so sure I wish to be near him, rumors are rumors, through and through.

It was enough for Shane to ask if Addie is Merle's kid.

Even now was that making me angry.

With him not responding and standing still as he leaned against my truck, did I grab the last few sets and push them further in. "See ya got some new ink." He stated, I was confused on what had he saw.
But then I remember, it's the bird.

Pulling my shirt down was I sort of embarrassed that he saw it, out of everyone it was him.

"See the demons really caught your eye, and Mingus?" I questioned, pointing to the name written on his forearm. He gestured to it, almost as if offering for me to touch it. But as soon as his finger rang over it did he sigh. "Friend died." 

I mumbled out a sorry and he took it in the instant. But as conscious as I feel, all my tattoos began to burn. Heavily I might add.


"Got any more on ya? That's lookin' like a tramp stamp to me." Switching out Addie's pistol to my own work pistol, did I put it into my holster. And that, in turn, scared him. Although his body didn't show it. His eyes surely did.

"None you're going to see," I said, before checking up into the front of the truck once more.

"Guess it's up to my imagination." He laughed, backing up towards his own truck. That's the first given rusty laugh I've heard in years, and it honestly blew me away. Out of proportion more or less.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." I waved off, but then I realized what I said. Hoping he was too far away to hear the actual sentence, did I have to repeat in my mind about how it's an actual phase people say.

I wasn't taunting his nightmares. Not at all.

Addie wanted to ride with the Grimes family, and I was not about to object to that. Especially given the fact that Shane and I have to talk this out in the extensive car ride over towards the CDC.

Barely on the free road for one second, was I staring at the Dixon truck that was trailing behind us. All while twisting around the knife he gifted to me for graduation. Everything was packed somewhere in the back, the pictures. Everything. 

"What the hell is between you and Dixon? Hell that happen now?" Shane said, coming out of complete nowhere with the said question. So I shook my head, hiding behind my hand as I looked out to the open from of my truck. And I did this so frequently he should've expected it by now. That I answer right before he's about to repeat the question. "Blake you—"
"He didn't know who I was until Atlanta." 

He nodded, but out of the complete need for continuation. And he followed up with another one, guess I was preparing for this. "The two of you friends?" He hits things almost on the head of the nail, but just a little off.

"Guess you can say that...All I know is my cover is blown and he's fucking pissed." I mumbled, right behind my hand and if he didn't hear me. He didn't have to. 
Daryl is probably mad, both at me and his brother. All in good reason but not in good spirit. To be fair, I am honestly surprised he's coming with us, but the need for a group isn't in Daryl's mind half the time. 

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Date Posted: 8-12-18 // Time: 1:30
Word-Count: 2751
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