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THIRD PERSON POV

Daryl waited and waited for Blake to wake up that morning, he didn't get a wink of sleep.
Not after what he learned and what he saw.

He couldn't sleep in their bed together either, instead he spent most of the night noise in between the fine linings of the photo album that somehow miraculously stayed alive. 

And then, he looked back to his note. The note that his brother left him, and the one he left for Rory.

Either one of them could've said the same thing, but they're personalized. Rory's was full of help in the conversation, while Daryl's was centered on Merle trying to find the right words to say: 'forgive her ya dumbass.'

And that's the consensus that he drew up in his head.

He would've been a good daddy, that he had planted in his mind. He never showed any hate towards children, and if he wanted to admit it. Maybe his stupid mind wanted her to get pregnant so she'd stay.

As sick and twisted as that was.

But Dixon always had a way with words, that's how Blake and him ended the way things did. And that's why she never returned with Addie, because she didn't see any hope or reasoning to.

He hadn't had the chance to talk to Addie, his daughter, since she stormed off to Carl's house and stayed the night.
His daughter, over a guy's house.

It never bothered him before until now.

Every god damn thing that happened since he saw Addie running up to her mother and him and asked if she could help skin the kills they managed to snag. It should've been clear from there, but it wasn't a given that the girl that everyone was calling Quantico was Blake.

And it wasn't clear until Blake had to spell it out to him that Addie is his.

'Why do you think Merle stuck around?' That. That right there, was more evidence than the damn dates.
Stronger than anything else he could've countered with, he knew Merle was never good at keeping a constant and yet here he is. Being the uncle.

Being the man in his daughter's life.

The only thing he couldn't get by, was why she had him around instead of himself. That's what tugged his mind back and forth as he kept grazing his thumb over his family.

He smirked when he said that. And now the idea of what he told Dwight was true, that that is his kid. Just sickened him to the point of no return, all those conversations that he had with her about calling him 'dad' was because of the father abandonment issues.

But in reality, it's his fault. Or so says the mind of Addie, who's curled up beside Carl. Breathing ever so soundly asleep as exhausted as she is.

And Carl...Carl had two secrets to keep. One that he knew since the fall of the prison, and one from the entire family... 

Of what he and Addie had just done.

Daryl jumped at the opportunity to see Blake, but to see her throwing up her guts made him think back to Danny boy poisoning her. Perhaps that's what triggered him to leave her there as she was mid-sentence from speaking, and as he was brewing up some coffee.
He realized a bit too late that it'd only make her stomach worse.

So he took the kettle, boiled some water and prepared it before she managed to get down the stairs.

He loves her, in complete hate in seeing her beaten down and torn. Especially when it has something to do with himself, so he stayed silent. Because he knows if they start talking again, it'll be the end of it.

And a break up during the apocalypse with a child in the house isn't exactly the best living situation.
Considering that there's already one.
And Rosita is steaming mad.

He was one of the first people Rick told about the meeting, and it wasn't until after that Daryl remembered one key part of the conversation last night. That the one man that she fucked other than himself, was Rick.

Not Merle, not Shawn. Rick.

Although he thinks it dates back in the beginning, and by beginning as in a decade ago. Not at the prison or anything relatively close in time. But that was his need in finding out, yet he won't question it anyway. Doesn't want any more details than that.

Daryl fucked a whole long list of people, he shouldn't be upset over one. But he was, so red with anger that when he arrived at the church. First of the whole bunch, he looked up to Jesus.

The statue, not the new friend. And spoke:
"Ya takin' requests man? Cause I gotta whole lotta shit that needs answerin'." He spoke, rudely and mean all combined into one. He almost got caught as well, speaking to Jesus because some of the Alexandrian people woke bright and early for this damn meeting. Making him sit further back into his seat, knowing on his thumb and waited for this damn thing to begin.

And honestly, he didn't know what to do after. If it had been a normal night, and he could've explained full heartily that the reason he said that to Abe was because of this new responsibility she's going to get would stop the baby making process.

That's why he said it, but when he tried to convey the news to his crying girl hungry for sex. He stumbled and fell completely wrong.

If he didn't stumble, he wouldn't have found out until she died. That's the main and bolded idea that he's sticking to.

As Rick started talking, he made sure to ask him later what the hell was actually going on. Along with mentally preparing himself for the fact that he has to tell Blake too, considering she's not here.

Well, he thought that until he turned around. Low and behold, there she is. Dead set against looking at him, hair washed, eyes still puffy red.

But she looks better, and as much as he wanted to hold her and claim that he needs time. He already told her that he can't forgive her, and that's one of the major truths of it all.

She was never honest, nothing she said was honest in the least bit.

And that might be hypocritical to say considering that the lie that went around that summer was that he wanted to get married. And look at what happened now, that's all he wants.
To walk the damn isle in this dank church.

He proposed back at the prison, or her house...This just was the reason why she never followed through, because of Addie.
Because of him.

The horrible things he said about Blake that summer are rolling through his mind, and the reason he hates Shawn so much is because he defended her. That's why he only claimed to fuck her too to get back at him and make him feel even shittier than he did.

He'd black out every night that he shit talked her, because deep down...He knew he still loves her. And still does to this day.
Seeing her across the table and staggering to get a plan into motion over killing this network of Saviors is getting to him. This is the women he loves, and she had a perfect amount of reason to do what she did.

He looked at her in awe, in complete and utter fascination how her eyes were calculating, taking word for word what they were saying to build a plan that she wasn't even apart of. Just Dixon couldn't figure out if she wanted to go along with this or not, or if she's just too exhausted to actually fight him on this.

Even the guy who she's been talking to wants her to come, and yet she didn't. Not a single damn thing came from her mouth, and it was Daryl who defended her to stay on back.

Yet she didn't look his way, that's both of their faults on that equation. So he bit back onto his thumb and watched her threaten Gregory in the most schemeful way possible, before leaving the room without another word.

He followed her of course, but not before giving her a minute to her lonesome. And with that, he smoked outside. Hearing the kettle's whistle sound off again.

There was a reason she never told him, and she did say it. Although she'll never admit it truthfully out loud again...Considering she was drunk the first time.

 She loves Addie, with all her heart. That wasn't at all deniable, but she was always limited in work because of her daughter. This was her chance to have a family, and if Addie never came along...She would've been alone.

That's why she doesn't regret it entirely, and she wasn't lying when she claimed that abortion wasn't an option.

When the kettle was off the stove, he allowed her one more moment to herself before heading into the house. Making sure to take off his shoes as he came into the kitchen, she gave him one look and pinned her head back to the task.

"Ya doin' any better?" He whispered, and she looked stunned. Almost as stunned as this morning when he rushed to the bathroom. If she hadn't been done throwing up, he would've stayed.

But she didn't need help, she's never needed help. Only in dire emergencies, like when she was sick.
Twice.
When she was almost raped. Everything that's happened since they've reunited was mere luck.

Blake has been fine on her own, lacking sex. But fine.

Her nod was delayed, and still, she did not look to him. And he sighed, letting his elbows hit the center island in hopes that she'd look to him. And she did. Finally.

Just...They were depressed, the light no longer in her eyes. Just desperation and a sense of tired that he couldn't be able to solve. "Come here." He beckoned, but she just shook her head again.

"Rory-"
"Don't." She breathed, cracking a bit in her voice. And although Daryl's reaction didn't project this, it shattered his heart at how vulnerable she turned. How her walls are completely gone.

"Hun...Come here." He opened his arms and there was nothing she wanted more than to go straight into his hold and cry.
"I-I can't." She said, determined to keep her position. Her head facing down.

"Why-"

"How are you so calm right now...I hate it—I hate it when you do that. You think of others before yourself...You're allowed to be angry with me, don't—don't fake this with me. Please." She spoke, broken and angry as she left. Left her tea and note pad. Only...There was nothing written.

She did indeed write a note, a note in which she placed right on his pillow in hopes of him finding it when he goes to bed whenever they managed to get home.

Blake decided on her own that it'd be best to leave Alexandria for a small bit.

The bow, is sitting with a go bag on the back porch awaiting her arrival to set out. In the note she explains that she'll return, but doesn't want to mess up their healing time with her crowding them.

She hasn't seen Addie since she stormed out, and she was unsure whether or not Daryl checked up on her. But Carl taking care of her...Just...Not in the way her father would like to hear. Or her mother for that matter.

Blake was getting dressed, trying to soothe her aching shoulder as she wrongly slept on it. As well as trying to stay the given sanction away from Daryl. He stayed planted in his seat, looking to the leftover tea that she had left when she finished.

The curiosity got the best of him as he took a cautious sip, and in the instant spit it out. It was bitter, more than bitter it was just plain awful.

"The hell she drinkin' that for?" He growled, wiping his mouth from his spit as he took a look at the packaging.

The realization took him hard, harder than before. It was to help her get pregnant, she's been downing at least two glasses a day of this stuff in hopes of it helping. And he just shook his head, look up through the floor to where he thought she'd be hiding.

But she wasn't there, she was in Addie's room. Sitting on her bed and holding the stuffed bunny so proudly. Merle gave this to her, and it's survived.

"Should've listened to you...In the truck back at the Quarry, should've came downright clean then..." She whispered into the bunny, crying her heart out as she couldn't take the urge anymore.

It felt better to cry, to let it all out.

And Daryl couldn't be lying to claim he didn't hear her, of course he heard her. He heard what she whispered to the stuffed animal too, considering he was halfway up the steps wanting to check on her.
Because that's what in his nature, to check on her.

In truth, Merle would be angry at how all of them are reacting to one another. He would've stood in the center, guarding Blake at the two attacking her.
And that wasn't in Daryl's and Blake's imagination.

They came from Merle's.

It wasn't true, that Dixon's any bit calm.

Instead, she's breaking further and further apart. This isn't something that they'd forgive her in a few days, no not at all. This will be weeks if not awhile.

"Blake." He called out, and that made her jump in retaliation considering it was just a few moments after her own words fell from her mouth. She pushed the tears away and looked directly to the door, waiting for him to come in without any warning.

And he did, sighing so quickly to the beat of their own lungs as he didn't really know what to say.

"Hun...Ya gotta stop this." She shook her head, perking her lips and squeezing the bunny tighter.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, or Addie's...I hid the truth." She beckoned, cracking at each word.

"That's just somethin' we gotta live with now..." He reminded, and he couldn't understand why she wasn't feeling any better after what he said. But it's obvious, she just didn't believe him and his words.

This isn't fine or alright. Not one bit.

"We just need time...And I can't stand ya fallin' 'part like this." Daryl didn't want to crack either, but he did. Managing only a few words before he lost his voice to his own emotion.

"Nobody was going to be her father...I wasn't going—"

"It's a fuckin' wonder why ya ain't hatin' on me hun, ya trust in 'verybody just went down after me." It started to click together, Blake could see it in his eyes as she just shrugged it off.

"I was happy."
"Nah. Nah ya weren't." And with that, he took a seat onto Addie's bed beside her. Sharing the gaze down towards Snowball before Daryl took it into his hands as well.

He remembered the thing's name. Just...He didn't want to admit to it out loud.

Blake looked towards Daryl, waiting for him to look up. But he didn't, he just kept his gaze down in hopes she wouldn't lie anymore. "No...No I wasn't. I was content."
"Ya didn't have to be." He growled back, and she let her hand graze the bunny's ears back for a second before taking her hand back.

"I...I just couldn't stand to see you again, for you to call me a whore. To tell me I trapped you, had a hard enough pregnancy as is."
"And after?" He wanted to know, so much so that his hand planted it onto her thigh.

And with that, did she struggle to maintain the length of her hair behind her head as she thought for a moment. "I was working a lot, had I think three classes that semester...Merle did come to meet her, said that I should get everything settled before he comes. And he came with this little guy, had to get her a new one to replace it because it was so damn old." Although Blake kept her eyes down to the bunny, Daryl was so mesmerized by the idea that he wanted her to keep going.

So he growled to have her continue.

"Don't think I slept for the first three months anyway."
"So tellin' me wasn't on ya mind? At all?" He felt more than offended, but then after looking over her day to day schedule of studying, doing homework, doing whatever Addie needed to do and two jobs. He felt a bit more relieved when she quickly shook her head and held onto his shoulder.

But then proceeded to back off at the sudden action of psychical contact. He didn't understand why she responded that way, he couldn't get enough of her small hands touching him. Let alone on skin.

"I was completely hormonal, I was a bitch...Even Jarod admitted to that. The idea didn't pop up until Merle came to visit. And even then were you going off on your little camping trips every other day." He sighed into his hands as he wasn't available to be found half the time, or in Atlanta. Or screwing girls.

"Moved up closer to Michael, had the house to myself and it was easier there to get help from everyone. The hospital right down the road if anything happened, but we only stayed there for a few months. Until I found the internship at the prison." That part Dixon knew, but it only happened when they actually unlocked that memory together.

"I'm surprised he kept it a secret, I really am. Drunk, high whatever. He still kept it." That's when Daryl gritted his teeth, the burning question that he didn't want to get into suddenly came through.

"Why'd ya pick Merle...Over-over me?" He questioned, looking her directly, square in the face. And this time, she gulped but proceeded to look towards him.

"Because he never hurt me like you did." Blake cried, and it was true. Merle never hurt a single cell in her body.

And became clear that that's what hit her deep in her heart. "Ya regret havin' Ad—"
"No." She was quick to respond, wiping her eye in the process of trying to put the pieces back together.

"If I came to your house, pregnant or a couple months after. You would've called me names, a whore, a slut. You already called yourself a baby daddy...Maybe if I got you to come back around, and we lived in that house. I could've domesticated you too."
"Can't domesticate Dixon...Hell's wrong with ya." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

But her cough of a laugh enabled her to wipe the few stray tears out of her way.

"I had Merle washing dishes after I got him out of jail..." She reminded herself, just the clear imagine of Addie on a step stool drying the dishes while he washed was such an image that she must have it somewhere in the photo album if there ever was one.

"He come over a lot?" She shook her head.
"Just enough to never forget him, birthdays, holidays. He'd give me flowers on mother's day sneaky bastard." She spoke so softly that Daryl was waiting for her to crack again.

"How much...How much money did he give ya?"
"I don't think I should—" She started, not wanting to get so deep into that drama.

But then again, it was too late. She was too deep to start getting out of certain things.

"Thousands..."

"What?" The Dixon almost swallowed his damn tongue at the idea of all the money just stored away for his little girl. "But I paid a lot of things for you guys too. Truck needed fixing, Merle's bike. Mortgage on your house. Bar Fights...Steph—Steph's abortion...Full circle, ain't it?" She questioned, smirking a little bit at using his sort of slang.

That's something that'd always make him smile, she knew that. But right now that wasn't the intention.

"I did have a scare...When I was pregnant, I thought I lost her but I was just—Stressed. Really stressed. That's about the time I started to forget what happened with you."
"With me?" He snorted out, moving another inch away trying to get a better look to her.

She phrased it exactly what she meant, there's no reason to butter up to him anymore because the truth's out and he's mad already. "Daryl I lost my virginity to you, how dumb and childish as that sounds...You're the first person I let in, and look what happened with that? I had someone that I needed to protect, to love." He perked his lips and nodded as his view returned to everything blew to his feet.

"Ya replaced me with her." Was all he could gather, and it's true. So she nodded, now giving the fact she took her gaze out the window. Allowing her to take quick breath out rendered her almost done. "I fell in love with another Dixon..."

"Better than hearin' it was 'nother man." He grumpled, and he was relieved that Toby wasn't real. Although everything about him was a lie. That he was jealous over a dead guy that never really existed. "Always was good to know when ya were lyin'...Dunno why I didn't catch on."

"Because I lied to myself too, I went so far to knowing a fucking law firm a few towns over to say he was going to work there. I made up a character, for her. Not for me."
"Yeah...But deep down ya wishin' that was me, don't ya?" She laughed, she let out an honest to god laugh as she looked him square in the face.

"A lawyer? Because I need a stuck up, suit wearing prosecutor or defendant in my life...God. There'd be no similarities at all." She said, shaking her head into her hands as she thought about it.

And even after, Dixon held a silent laugh in. And his tears for that matter as he was beating up the sweat as well just hearing about this. That something he did so carelessly has shaped her this much.

To fuel this argument, and to fuel the distrust.

"I only fucked her twice." He whispered, playing with the little straps the bunny had before him. This was his moment.

"Which one? Steph or Rachel?" She tilted her head in angst, making him gulp in fear.

No wonder she didn't come back. This would've been a complete nightmare.

"Rachel...Steph was—" "A replacement for Jules okay, cool. Moving on." She dismissed it, quickly too as she already knew.

"It ain't fair that ya know it all anyhow."

"You do realize I'm the one who paid for Addie's half brother or sister to be aborted right?" Daryl's crossed brows suddenly unlocked in a moments notice as it took a second for her words to process it.

That he never saw it like that, or how completely oblivious to the situation he was. Even if she wanted to go back to him, that ruined his chances because it showed her how much responsibility to the baby he had.

And he wasn't even together with Steph. So him putting that into words made him stumble, fall and try to regain the conscious of being built on nothing. How was he going to say it. "Just say it...I'm not glass Dixon." She teased, but it didn't sound as jokingly as when she first made it.

Back when they shared a bed together.

"The whole Steph thin'...Didn't help my case. Did it?" Her honesty shown as she told him it didn't.

"Those dreams, the ones I had when I was sick. Felt like I was in another reality, to have Addie and her brother. Not a half or a step, but a brother. To have you in the house, to have you be a husband, a father. That's all I ever wanted."

Daryl's gaze turned cloudy for a moment, full of tears as she spoke so highly of him that it made it hard to hate her. He wanted to repeat his question over and over again, but it'd be the same response. And it always was, even before when he thought Addie's was Toby's.

"What 'bout Shane?" If Blake was drinking anything, it would've come right back up and spit directly around the room. She stood up from her seat, but as reckless as that was. Her fall down back onto the bed had Daryl instantly grab her in case she fell forward instead.
She's angry, the undenounced rule of the group is to new speak of him.

And that was a given.

"Did ya like 'im?" She shook her head, but in the slight jist of it all. There was a bit of an attraction to him back when he was normal. But there was never any reason for Blake to act on that feeling. "Not like that. Not my type."
"But Rick's ya type?" He shot back, and it delicately turned into a mismatch of it all.

Cop or no cop. That was the line drawn here.

She panicked, there was honest panic in her eyes and there wasn't much to say. "What do you want me to say?" She offered out, because the question he asked wasn't much of a question. It was just sort of...There.

"It only happened once."
"Once is 'nough." He growled, but he didn't let her go. She was weak, her body still reacting to being hungover.

Or so she thinks.

"The one time I ended up drinking...Look what happened. The entire time I felt like I betrayed you and Addie. It was a wake-up call to the fact that I'd never get over you, not really." She whispered, her eyes dropping at the thought of his warmth. The firm arms around her, always was her favorite.

"Ya only fucked me and Rick?"
"I wouldn't say I fucked you...But since you said it like that, yeah. Guess I did only fuck you." The brutality she threw back was relentless, he wanted to take back the words considering she's hurting enough.

"'I ain't ya bitch Blake, I ain't.' You think I forgot anything? You'd be wrong." She whispered, but this time pushing against his hold as she started to walk away. "You being upset about Rick isn't fair because you slept with a whole fine line of people."

"We even? Cause I slept with Rachel, ya slept with Rick?"
Blake was now at the doorway, holding the lining with all her strength considering that's what keeping her up at the moment. But she shrugged, not knowing how or why that'd be considered even.

"I didn't sleep with Rick to get back at you..."

"Then why'd ya never tell me? It ain't right that ya know everythin' 'bout my life but ya's is just an empty hole of nothin'." That wasn't true, there was the entire gap that Merle wasn't around to tell her about.

And that's probably the parts he's holding onto.

"Then ask me what you want to know." She growled, turning irritated within the given seconds. He's allowed to sleep with the entire world, but the one man that something more than kiss her is holding her up at fault.

"Did Shawn ever try to—"

"Shawn didn't do anything! I never liked him, I never saw him outside of school! I never fucked him! I never did anything sexual with him. Okay?! You're asking the same questions." The anger was set forth again, but Dixon didn't like her turn in hostility.

"Then why ya bein' so defendant cause I said his name?"

"Because he was always a problem between us, you made him a problem...I never looked at him like that." She was being a hundred percent honest, Shawn was just obsessed with her far too much.

Funny thing is...He's still alive. Just...Not to their knowledge.

"You never trusted me...Did you?" She whispered, looking towards in complete and utter horror as she knew the answer. He didn't trust her because he's never trusted anyone with all the information he's shared with her.
She was beautiful, and all the times his friends would call her hot. Sexy. It made his blood boil. But his silence spoke to her loud enough. "Daryl..."

"All 'em fuckin' guys in the group would always talk 'bout how'd they fuck ya, it was fuckin' brutal." He looked guilty, and when she asked when.

He responded: "After the first bonfire." And that made her tense.

"I didn't want anyone else...I was yours." She sobbed out, but now it was Dixon's turn to crack. He closed his eyes for a moment, but the second he allowed for his question to range through. They popped open. "Why'd ya go..."

"Why'd you push me away..." She responded, they found each other at fault for this question.

"I came back..." 

"Then why'd ya stay 'way?" The tear was visible, the one running down the side of her cheek.

"Because any word you said to me...I took it to heart. Whatever bullshit nonsense your friends said I don't care. But you—Coming from you, ever smart mouth-bullshit excuse that got me onto a plane back to Connecticut...Is what kept me away." She finished, finally leaving the scene as she felt sick.

And maybe it's because she moved too fast, got up too quickly. Or because of something.

Daryl on the other hand was frozen, his idiotic plan when he was younger did keep her away. It kept her far away, just on the boarder of disappearing if it wasn't it. But the thought of Blake taking Steph's child and raising them beside Addie, a large thought...Didn't sound so bad.

But he growled at himself just for thinking of something so stupid.

Little did they both know, that Addie heard the whole thing from the bottom of the stairs. And she was gripping Merle's leftover vest as she threw it on over her shoulders once again.

"I was always a Dixon..." She whispered, going up the stairs so gently only to find Daryl sitting on her bed.

It was a shock at that, he didn't know whether to smile or yell at her. So the only question that popped from his mouth was: "Where were ya?"

"Rick's." She seemingly spoke, trying to cover up the little bits of evidence all around her skin.

In the end, it had her pull the locks of her hair over her shoulders just to get the clear confidence that they were hidden. "Rick said that you guys are leaving soon...Want to say goodbye, good luck, stay safe." She sounded so dead, tired as well that it struck Daryl odd. But also, kind of thankful for her to come and say that.

"Ya gonna say that to ya ma too?" He called out, but the moment she shook her head he sighed.

"Don't really care." She huffed out, about to circle back towards Carl's. And although it meant the world to her father that she came over to say it in general. Even if it was harmless.

"Why say that?... She's ya ma."

"And you're my dad. This fucking apocalypse shouldn't have been the reason we were brought together." She blew up in his face as she stormed back out, and it was only then did he realize she was wearing his brother's vest again.

And it brought a smile to his face.

But as the mother and daughter saw each other down the hallway, Daryl stood up in the instant. Waiting for the fuse to break. "You hear that mom! Walkers shouldn't have been the reason we're together!" She shouted, and just when Daryl was going to hold her by the shoulder. She removed herself entirely from the house.

"Ya aight?" He questioned, leaning out of the doorway a bit more to get her attention. But her eyes were just fixated on where Addie last stood, until they popped back to frame.

"She talked to me." The women smiled, before walking away to get ready. Although Dixon stood in awe, in the middle of both his daughter and the mother of his daughter.

He turned confused.

Why the hell was she so happy over that?

But in Blake's mind, she called her 'mom' and let out some form of communication of anger, that's one of the steps to acceptance. And it was more than enough to allow a smile on her face, because like Daryl said before: We've worked with less.

While she changed into something more practical, along with the leather jacket over her shoulders. The smell was so heavenly that it was enough to think he was closer to her than luck would have it.

That being said, these would be good hunting clothes to stay in considering it was warm and durable.

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Date Posted: 07-04-19

Time: 5:36

Words: 5552