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Waking up late the next morning allowed me the extra moment to sleep on in, but arriving at school with my friends all inside already gave me the lack of cigarette in the morning. 
Like I wasn't on edge already.

Just arriving before the last bell to signal the beginning of the class did I realize that Shawn was already looking up from his doodle with a smirk. "Rough night last night?" He joked ,like I was hungover or whatever other assumption he got. But I nodded in agreement, it was a hard night. "You okay?" "Just dandy," I said, opening my notebook to focus on class.

I just worried for my mom, and brothers. And especially Michael, he loves us and didn't want to leave. And every time I thought about him, my hand would automatically connect to the dog tags around my neck. They were under my leather jacket, visible but only if someone was looking.

Unless I had them hanging out like I do now. "Dad's gone?" Looking to my right did I scrunch my eyebrow together. How did he know? "Stepdad left yesterday." "No fun getting hammered by yourself." "Didn't. Saving my liver for Saturday." Another smile appeared to my friend beside me, the fact that he too was excited to go to this little event excites me all the bit more.

"Everything at home alright?" Shawn asked, and I only nodded. Trying to seem distracted by what the teacher was saying, but there was nothing important. Knowing I dismissed the question. "Guess I didn't really give him a chance before he had to leave." Was all I could, not wanting any sympathy or pity. Did he just give me a nod and the smallest smile in the world. "Pops left me and my mom a decade ago." Pondering what I should say, gave me the indication of how this friendship was building. "I wish that was my case...With my first dad." That was as far as I was going to go into the subject, only knowing this man for a few weeks, couple months at the most. It is hard to know who is trustworthy and who is not.

With my day coming to an end, I found myself working for a couple extra minutes on the last assignment that my teacher let me finish. Even with the second bell already rang, did she still allow me leeway. Handing in my paper, did she comment on my jacket. "Miss Blake...I have you down as Aurora Blake-Holden." She said, taking a lay back into her black swirly chair, making me grip the notebook in my hand a bit tighter. She was the only one who almost called me by my first name. "I prefer Blake." She pulled her hands up and apologized fairly quickly, before looking down at another list. "I had Jarod Holden...Is there any relation?" She asked, glancing upwards to see my response. "Yes. He's my stepbrother." Her smile rang free, I assume my brother was either a character or her favorite student. Either or. "I knew those dog-tags weren't just a fashion icon...Was your father deployed?" She asked, and I truly did not wish to have a conversation with her. She was nice, but this was out of thin air. "Stepfather...And yeah, this is my first time." Again, just like I feared with Shawn. Occurred with a teacher and someone I would have assumed did not hold anything in the sense of pity.

She did just that.

Rising up to her feet did she begin to explain to me that if I was falling behind, in anything. That I should come and speak directly to her, still wondering what relation she had with my brother. Or even family, but it was nice to know that this one teacher was fully supportive on my side.

With the five minutes knocked out of the way, did I hurry on off to my locker. Grabbing my helmet and finally putting on my jacket to get on out of this damn school. I wasn't having it today, just the drainage of having to go home knowing both my mom and brother are going to be disappointed.

And I honestly don't know where I fit, I'm sad. For more than a few reasons, but I just feel more drained than anything else at the moment. As I was about to close my locker, did I hear her coming down the hallway. Maddie, not wearing her normal cheerleader attire. And I have to admit, her fall look is definitely one for the books. "Blake!" She exclaimed, giving her a kind smile before just closing my locker. Knowing for a fact that all her friends were looking at her like an insane crazy person made it all the more reason to be nice. "Hey..." I said, bending my knee trying to have my helmet move on forward. My silent way of say 'I'm trying to leave,' "I heard that Michael left last night...If you ever need anything you can call me. You, your brother and mom. I want you to know that." Again did I nod, but she was too chipper this Monday school day. "I-I'm heading home...see you tomorrow." Was the last thing I said before going off to walk, but she was quick to catch up with me. "Not going to lunch?" "I get to leave early." She nodded, and it almost saddened my heart to make her pout like that. So I sighed, telling her a strict time frame. 'Ten minutes' which had her clap in approval before dragging my free hand into the cafeteria. 

It was standard, nothing really abnormal about it. Since it also dueled for an auditorium as well, having the stage upon above, it felt just odd being here. Considering I've always gone home for lunch or stayed a few minutes with my friends. I will say though, it was nice seeing my brother for a good minute of the school day. But he too shared the drainage I did.

The common trait over what happened yesterday.

With the conversation blaring around us, I figured that everyone was just talking about school. But as Maddie continued to question me about one certain thing, I honestly couldn't take being here any longer. This feeling, this surreal feeling of my stepdad being in hostel territory frightened me beyond belief.

It's like I'm not in control of anything, just getting a new father figure into my life. And I couldn't deal with the torment of losing someone else in my life. "Blake?" The mumbled voice sounded, and at first, I was confused. Especially when I thought for a moment I was with my friends, but the second a hand touched my shoulder. Was when I looked on over to my brother, instead of explaining my incoherent ability to respond back. My feet landed on the floor from their cross-legged position and began to just walk on out. Passing by everyone through the chairs and slamming out the door.

The sound of my name calling over and over again was just another noise, one of which didn't stop until they caught on up to me. It wasn't Maddie, it wasn't Jarod. It was Ryan, and he had me stumbled as I missed a step forward almost bumping into him. I shook my head towards him, passing him by again and again before he finally blocked off the main exit. "Move." Was all I could say through my gritted teeth. That's when he shook his head, just leaning against the door as if I wouldn't make my efforts any more than that. 

"Are you alright?" That was his big effort in asking if I'm 'alright,' making a scene, chasing me down the hall. And blocking me right in this moment. "I'm fine."
"Now when a girl says that, she never really means it." He was obviously prepared for my lie, so I just pulled the same position as he did. Crossed my arms and looked on over to him. "Get out of the way. I have work." The roll of his eyes just angered me more, who does he think he is to block me off like this. 
That's when another noise sounded, and I smiled. Knowing exactly who it was, the keen scent of cigarets and weed-filled the entire hallway as they were just at the end of the hall. 

My smile went on back towards Ryan as they came up around me, they did look intimidating, especially since he was flashing the school's symbol with the damn jock jacket. "Blake? This kid bothering you?" Looking over my shoulder to both Shawn and Trevor do I just shake my head. The fact that they were chewing gum, more than two sticks were because of their breath recking so heavily of it that even I could detect it. 
"No. He was just walking me to my bike." I state, passing him by and walking on out. Having him quickly follow down the steps in an effort to keep up, he was scared. And he had a right to be, the fact that Shawn's hair covered half his face at this point. And Trevor's visible snake tattoo on his neck. "What the hell was that?" He pointed back up to the school, like it was my fault that he wouldn't let me pass. "My friends." Was all I stated, putting my bag into the pouch at the bottom. Fixing my helmet and putting it on, but he was again. Not going to move. So up my visor went. "I'm alright. Okay? It's tough. I don't know what my step-dad is doing right now...Don't really need people chasing me down the hall like I'm losing my mind." He nodded in defeat, he cared. I get it. But I barely know him, just from law class, and that's only because I sat next to him a few weeks ago. 

There wasn't much else, not like I was going to share my whole life story with him. I don't know him, and I don't wish to know anyone at the moment. I want to be alone. Pulling down my visor did I bring my bike to life, kicking up the stand before backing on out with my two feet. 
But the second I had enough room, I bolted. Speeding on out of the school and onto the road, I was upset. Obviously, if Ryan or whoever didn't notice that much. Then they really did have a reason to ask. Jarod had been through this, and it doesn't get any easier from here on out. Understanding that now, I just wish there was reassurance that would make me feel at ease. 

Making it home wasn't difficult, it was leaving the garage to get to the house to face my mother. She stayed home today. And probably going to for a good week like Jarod warned about, but I don't think I can face her just yet. So I stayed. Doing my homework, sketching a little something before I worked up the courage to finally go inside, and it was a sight to see her actually relaxing on the couch in lounge clothes rather than her mom jeans or even the nurse uniform. "Hey honey. How was school?" "Alright." She was quick to notice the dog-tags and smiled before patting the seat beside her. Of course, I managed to take off my boots and place them down by the doormat before coming on over to her. "Are you sure you're alright, I don't want you being distracted at school." "I'll be alright, I'm still settling in I think." Adding the 'I think' to the end of my sentence was the best strategy I could have done, not wanting to come straight out and say 'I feel abandoned, again,' would hurt her just as much. She didn't want to abandon me, there was no way for her to get to me. 

Ending up going off into my room and trying to type up my essay, even then was I distracted by downloading either music or images from and to my phone. I needed to mix it up, and in that moment. Did I just put my headphones and blast the hell out of my ears. Giving me the final sound of peace to return to my writing process.

"BLAKE!" A sound yelled an inch from my ear, taking out my headphones did I look to see Jarod, confused at what I was doing. So finishing up my sentence, before looking back to see what he wanted. "Dinner's ready. Been calling you for five minutes." Holding up my headphones does he just chuckle, leaving me to go downstairs on my own. Pausing my music and rushing downstairs for this stupid essay for English on whatever theme we were discussing in class has worked an appetite. 
And the fact that my mother had made such a wonderful plate of food already made my belly rumble in the sight of food. We said our grace, that I memorized in the first week of being here. Before diving on into the foot.

Much like yesterday, there was no talking. Nothing, just a complement to the food or something director and for Mickey to hear. Otherwise, it was just silent, I didn't mind. Allowed us to finish our meals, but the looks Jarod has been giving me was just a sign that he wanted me to talk about today.

Assuming that Ryan told him I just left, he probably thought I ditched the rest of school. But that wasn't the factor, I'm allowed to leave school earlier. Probably another reason why he was so hesitant in leaving the building. Didn't think he was a goody two shoes until that moment. 

When dinner was finally over, mom began cleaning up the plates. That's when my brother beside me rose on up to take them from her. "Why don't you get Mickey to bed, Blake and I can do the dishes." He said, making it in the form of a question but then almost like a direct order. There was no way for her to say no, so she smiled in appreciation before leaving the room with my little brother. Leaving the mess to us.

Whipping my mouth one last time with the cloth that sat on my lap the entire dinner, did I take a good portion of the plates on over to the sink. Before taking the sponge and scrubbing them clean. "You gonna tell me what happened today?" I let out one chuckle, seeing as I had called it from just before. But when I looked on over to him, still doing my job. Before cowering back down. 

"Didn't think I was going to react this way." As he took the dishcloth, rubbing the dish before putting it on away. Returning to the conversation with a glass in hand. "I don't remember the first time he left...My mom died while he was on tour, so I stayed with a family friend most of the time. That's when dad met your mom." Trying to give a reasonable date in time for when this occurred, was probably years before. Just they didn't get married up until a few years ago, and even then did it not look good for me to come into a family that isn't deemed a family just yet.

With mom upstairs, did we finally have a minute to talk in private without her trying to get our brother to bed. "You ready for this weekend?" I chuckled, glancing at him for a moment.
"Not tailing me my bonfire are you?" His scoff was louder than the running water, I bet he did think of pulling that stunt. "No. I have the football thing to go to, but you know...Maybe after you can slip in the address?" My head was a decent shake as he pretended to act like an upset child, grabbing the plate and drying it all with a pouting face. "You still going to Ryan to the party?" "Looks like it." Nothing more to say otherwise, did he upset me in the littlest bit. His sign once again signaled for the conversation to continue. Even if I didn't wish for it too.
"What?"
"Ryan's a good guy, give him a chance." I set down the dish, washing my hands off with a cloth and noticed that we forgot a few things. So leaving for a moment did I go and grab them. "I don't want to date right now." Returning did he go over to the fridge to put away the large salad bowl, only to return with another few dishes to dry. "Dan then?"
"You just don't want me to date anyone in my group...Is that it?" His face became neutral, and I couldn't believe I figured him out that easily. "There is nothing wrong with my friends. I'm not going to date."
"Promise?"
"No." I snickered at his expression, I've been here for a good few months and there wasn't much to say about anyone here. I doubt I a good portion of names, and a good portion of people who hate me. 
So there is a good chance there are more Ryan's and Daniel's. Finishing up, did we both go on off to bed. I warned him about my shirt tomorrow, and he just saluted to me. Stumbling to his room before closing the door. Shouting a 'goodnight' through the room. But even I felt the mental drain. 

Making me do the same, readying myself for tomorrow.

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Date Posted: 12-27-17 // Time: 6:19
Word-Count: 2947

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