CHAPTER FOUR

FRIDAY, MARCH 5, 2021

Chapter Song: 'Rumor Has It' by Adele

"So...I need to tell you something."

Kiera hated conversations that started that way. Not just in relationships; in any type of interaction. Conversations that started with that statement, in that tone that Taylor was speaking in, always ended in fighting. And Kiera didn't want to fight with Taylor.

Not that they had really ever fought before. So why start?

A month and a half had passed since the two had officially begun dating, and Kiera was on cloud nine. She couldn't remember a relationship where she had felt so incredibly loved by someone before—and in such a short period of time. She felt like one of the idiots on The Bachelor who told the guy that they were in love with him after two seconds of dating. The Core Four had been religiously watching that franchise since they were eleven, and Kiera had always been the first to make fun of the people who confessed their love after the first cocktail party. There was always someone. There was always that one stupid person who ended up getting sent home within the next two weeks.

And now she was that stupid person. Except Kiera Arlington didn't feel stupid at all. She felt like she was on top of the world, and absolutely nothing was capable of bringing her down.

He had met her family over FaceTime already, and they had plans for her to meet his brothers in person that weekend. Her mother had called her the day after she met Taylor and would not shut up about his beautiful eyes. It had given her the idea for the writing sample she was supposed to submit for her general writing class—she had somehow managed to make it her entire undergrad career without taking a writing class, and it had caught up to her for her last semester.

She had written about his eyes.

You don't hear much about brown eyes. They don't hold the ocean inside of them. They don't sparkle like gems in the sunlight. They don't have the common similes that all writers use to a fault. They don't have a combination of two colors, or a ring of green surrounded by blue. They don't have flecks of grey or white. They don't come to mind when most people think of beautiful eyes. But brown eyes? Brown eyes hold the universe inside of them. They're deep and comforting; they shine just right when the dying sun hits them through a car windshield. They sparkle when you laugh, just a bit, and flecks of gold speckle the deep brown with everything they have.

That's what I see when I look into his eyes. They crease when he laughs; the corners crinkle up and this little sigh escapes his lips. It's not a booming laugh like some of the other men I know. It's soft, but when he laughs, I feel like the entire world is right. The entire world should hear his laugh. But I don't want them to; for if they did, they would fall in love with him too.

I love it when he laughs at something I said. I pretend that I don't like it, but I can tell that he knows I do. "No," I say, "Don't laugh at that!" But he does, and I'm laughing as I ask him not to. We're both laughing, but I stop first so I can hear his laugh a little louder. His face lights up when he laughs, and he shakes his head at me slightly. It's as if he doesn't understand me. But that's alright; I don't understand him. I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about him.

His smile is my favorite. It's wide and white, and often lingers after he stops laughing—as he continues to shake his head at me. He'll glance over at me with that smile, and I think he knows how much it ruins me. How much I love being the reason for that smile. Even if it's just for a second.

I think the real thing I'm a sucker for is his hair.

It falls in waves on his head, not venturing below his ears but sitting perfectly on top of his head. It's dark, the color of his eyes, and makes me think that it must be so terrible for men who don't have that kind of hair. It's perfect, really. He complains about it—it's either too short or too long for his liking on any given day—but I think that he knows how beautiful it is. How beautiful he is.

I don't know if I believe in soulmates, but I would do almost anything to keep him as mine. We laugh at the same things. We roll our eyes at the same people. We both know where we are going in life, and we're passionate about what we do.

I get to call those beautiful eyes mine. I get to call that man with the beautiful soul mine. He just makes me feel like myself. Like I can be the realest version of who I want to be.

Also, he's like...ripped.

She had added the last line in for herself, and didn't actually turn it in with the rest of the piece. Writing it out had felt therapeutic...like she was able to release some of the emotions she felt about the person she felt so lucky to call her own.

Kiera brought herself back to the present, back to the conversation she didn't quite want to have, regardless of what ended up coming out of Taylor's mouth.

"Alright," she sat up on his bed so that she could be at eye-level with him, "What's up?"

"I just feel like we're at a point where I can talk to you about something that I think you deserve to know." He swallowed loudly, clearly nervous about whatever he had to confess. "I know that I told you there's a lot of things about me that you don't know, but I think this is the one thing you should know before we get any more serious."

Kiera nodded slowly, wondering what he could possibly say to follow up that solemn warning.

"You know my ex-girlfriend, Karina?"

Kiera nodded. She wasn't a huge fan of how similar their names were, but she had gotten over it already.

"Well—and I'm not proud of this—I wasn't completely faithful to her during our relationship."

Kiera kept her eyes from widening and just nodded calmly, waiting for him to continue.

"She was in California at school, and I was here, and while distance is absolutely no excuse, I made a terrible decision and I cheated on her. And...I just want you to know that this is not a repeat behavior. I would never cheat on you, and I don't know how it happened. But I thought you should know so that you can choose to do with that information what you want."

Kiera was quiet for a second, absentmindedly tracing the veins on his hand.

"Did you tell her?"

"What?"

"Did you tell her?" She looked up at him again, "Did you tell Karina that you cheated on her?"

Taylor shook his head.

"No, I didn't. I didn't want to hurt her anymore than I already had...why?"

Kiera shrugged.

"I don't know. If you cheated on me, I would want you to tell me."

Taylor put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"That won't be an issue because I would never cheat on you."

Kiera nodded silently before standing up.

"Where—"

"I'm gonna head home."

"Kiera, look, I understand if you're upset—"

"I just want to process it a little bit, if that's alright." Kiera interrupted, picking up her jacket from his desk chair. "I'll see you tomorrow to go to your brother's."

"Okay." He nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

()()()

"He cheated on her?"

"He told you that he cheated on her?"

"I can't tell if that's noble or stupid."

"Or both."

"It's definitely stupid. What are you supposed to do with that information?"

"I think it was noble. He could have kept it a secret but he chose to be honest."

"Yeah, honest about being a dick."

"Cori, you haven't had a boyfriend in like eight years. Shut up."

"That's low."

Kiera listened to her best friends argue and let them continue to go on, letting her own inner monologue go in her head. She didn't know what she thought of Taylor's confession. He had said he was telling her this before they got 'too serious,' but she had already told him that she loved him. It didn't get too much more serious than that at her age. Had he told her because he was worried it was going to come out and make him look like the bad guy? Or had he told her because he genuinely was trying to turn over a new leaf and be as honest as possible?

If it was the latter, then Kiera didn't know if she had a reason to be upset with everything. She valued honesty over everything in a relationship; she had told Taylor this when they first started to look like they were going to be exclusive. She had wanted to be open with him, and she needed to trust him in order for that to happen.

"Kier?"

She looked over at her friends and shook her head slightly, plopping down on the couch as if she had just worked a fifteen-hour shift in a hospital.

"I don't know, guys." She said as the other three filed into seats around her. "I want to think that he was just trying to be a decent guy about it."

"But then why tell you and not the girl he actually cheated on?"

"I mean, they've been broken up for over a year. Maybe he thought that it would do more harm than good at this point. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but I mean...him offering up the information instead of being forced to tell it kind of makes it seem like his intentions were good."

"I guess." Steph shrugged her shoulders, "I think that it's honestly up to you. You heard it from him directly, and I think you can gauge better than any of us just how sincere you think he was being."

Cori and Rose nodded their agreement with Stephanie's statement, and Kiera sighed loudly.

"Right when I think I have a good one."

"You do have a good one," Rose leaned forward to catch Kiera's eye, "You have a good one. People make mistakes. As long as he doesn't repeat that same mistake, it means he's genuinely changed."

"And what if he does repeat that mistake again? What if he cheats on me, too?"

"Then we'll beat his ass." Cori replied immediately, "I was captain of the varsity soccer team, I could kick his ass easily."

"Cor, that was like four years ago." Stephanie muttered.

"So?"

"Thanks for your help, guys." Kiera interjected before the two could start arguing. "It always helps to talk things over with you guys."

"Of course it does." Rose grinned, "That's what the Core Four is for."