March 23rd. (I forgot when Sam's anniversary was, so I'm going a couple weeks back)

**

Danny noticed that the past couple weeks Jessica has seemed a little down. She would just burst into tears for no reason, or suddenly get really mad out of nowhere.

It was because all the memories from three years ago were coming back to her. From when they decided on having another baby and being so happy, to life completely changing the next day when Sam found out he had cancer that was inoperable.

"Jessica, let's sit down and talk. Why don't we have breakfast outside and the baby can play a little bit?"

"Whatever.."

They sit down on the patio and Danny watches Grayson playing.

"Jessie.. Something's bothering you."

"I'm fine."

"It's Sam's anniversary isn't it?"

Jessica's lip quivers and she nods her head.

She covers her face and bursts into tears.

"I'm sorry!"

"No! Don't apologize." Danny sits beside her and comforts her.

"It's been three years since I last saw him.." She sobs.

"I just keep seeing him.. In that bed.. Suffering. It was so horrible!"

"Jessie, I know that must have been so hard on you and the boys. But Sam is no longer suffering.. He's so happy where he is..doesn't that make you happy?"

"Yeah.. It's just... Danny, he didn't know.. He didn't know about Grayson. I was pregnant and he didn't know before he left this world. He never touched my belly when Grayson was in there, he never kissed it like he did with the other boys. He didn't even know he existed!"

"Jessica, he knows now. Sam sent you this amazing little guy that looks so much like him! Sam knows about Grayson.. He's in him, Jess."

Jessica nods says, "I'm sorry I've been so weepy.. His anniversary and the two weeks leading up to it is extremely hard on me. We went from trying for a baby, to saying goodbye in a matter of twenty four hours."

"You do not need to apologize! It's okay to be upset." Danny holds her in his arms and rubs her back.

"I just can't believe he's been gone for three years."

**

It was the weekend, so both boys were home. Michael came outside and slowly approached Jessica.

"Good morning."

"Huh? Oh hi baby!" Jessica turns to him.

Michael gets on his knees and holds her hands.

"You okay?"

Jessica nods her head and tries holding herself together.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Jessica's voice becomes shaky and she hugs him tightly.

"I hug too!" Grayson runs over.

"Haha! Oh mama loves huggies from her babies!" Jessica smiles.

"You wanna come with me to see daddy today?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Okay. Gray, you wanna go see Dada today?"

"Dada at da park?"

Jessica chuckles and says, "Yes son.. Dada at the park."

"Yeah! I lub my dada!"

"He loves you too, baby." Jessica rubs his head and gives him a kiss.

Jessica goes upstairs and gets herself and Grayson ready.

"You want me to go with you?"

"No.. No, that's okay. You and Zach have some fun today."

"Okay.. Take the boys out to eat on me. Spending time together on a day like this is important."

Jessica nods and gives him the tiniest smile.

***

"Dada! Dada!" Grayson runs as fast as he can.

He sits beside his grave and touches it.

"Hi Sammy." Jessica smiles softly and kisses his headstone.

Jessica's eyes fill with tears every time she reads Samuel Rodger Shepard on his stone.

"It's been three years, but it still feels so fresh. I'll never heal from his passing."

Grayson babbles and Jessica smiles softly and rubs his back gently.

"Dada, I got a daddy! I got twos of em!" He says trying to hold up two fingers.

Tears fall down Jessica's cheeks.

"I lub him! I lub you too!" He kisses the stone.

Michael tears up, but holds himself together.

Jessica sighs and softly runs her hand over his name.

"Sammy, I hope you're not upset that I'm marrying Danny, or that Grayson calls him daddy. I'm always talking to Grayson about you, so don't worry, he will Always know you! Gray just needs a father..
I hope you're okay with us getting married."

"You know he is, mom." Michael touches her back.

"What if he's not?" Jessica cries.

"I know he is, mom. All dad ever wanted was for you to be happy."

Jessica nods and wipes her tears.

***

Jessica takes the boys out for lunch, then heads home.

She puts Grayson down for a nap, and sits with Danny in the living room.

"How's it going, baby?"

"Okay..
Grayson always talks to Sam, and he told him that he has a daddy.. That he has two of them."

"Oh did he?"

"Yeah.
You know, this Father's Day.. It'll be special, because now he has you too. Last year we went to see Sam, and that was when he was always crying for him.. It was heartbreaking.
Grayson is lucky to have you both as fathers."

Danny smiles and Jessica sighs, "I remember that first Father's Day without him was horrible.."

***

The first Father's Day without Sam.

Jessica was fourteen weeks pregnant with Grayson.

Jessica and the boys were sitting in the living room. It was completely silent, the tv was off, no one was on their phones, and no one had spoken a word.

"Um... So uh.. Did you want to go see dad, mom?" Sam asks.

"I can't." She nods looking down to the ground.

"It's okay. I understand."

"This isn't fair. He was just here! He should be here!"

"I know.."

"Last year.. Did we make it special enough? Do you think he was happy?"

"Yes, mom! Dad was happy no matter what.. He just loved being with us and spending time together as a family."

"I still feel like it wasn't enough.. I wish I could have given him the world."

"You did, ma. To dad he had the world just being with us.  You gave that to him, you brought us here.. You gave him his world." James says.

Jessica covers her face and starts to cry.

The boys gather around her and try comforting her.

"And this baby.. This baby will never have their daddy to celebrate Father's Day with.  What about craft time in school?  They make those little cards in school the way you boys made.. my baby won't have anyone to give it's card to." Jessica looks down and touches her small bump.

"That's not true, ma.. the baby can still make one for dad.  He'll love it." James says.

Jessica sniffles and Sam says, "We're gonna tell him all about dad, mom."

Jessica looks at Sam and says, "How do you know it's a boy?"

"I don't think your body knows how to make girls." He chuckles.

Jessica laughs and Sam says, "When he, Or she is older, we're gonna help them make all kinds of cute and cheesy Father's Day stuff to bring to dad."

"Awe! Thank you, boys."

**

A little later the boys went to visit Sam, leaving Jessica alone.

Jessica laid on hers and Sam's bed with her hands resting on her belly.

"Our little baby is growing so fast, Sammy! 
Just about a month till I find out if it's a girl or a boy!"

Jessica takes a deep breath and says, "I miss talking to you, Samuel.  You were my best friend." Her voice shakes.

"... Sam, I really am trying to be strong for our boys.. I just miss you so much.
I know if you were here.. you would be so happy!  It's Father's Day and we've got a baby on the way!  It would've been a great Father's Day... You always loved it when I was pregnant.. your hand was always on my belly, it was so cute!   Know you're still with me.  You told me you'd never leave.. I just wish I could have you in my arms for one more minute.  I want to touch your warm skin.. I want to hold you and feel protected.  I want to hear you call me Jessie once more.. Sammy, I want you back!" She cries.

".. I know, I know!  No crying..it's bad for the baby.. I'm sorry!"

Jessica tries calming herself down and softly caresses her belly.

"Say Happy Father's Day, Dada."

**

The boys POV.

"Dad, it's not fair!" James says sitting beside his father's grave.

"We have to be strong for mom, but.. this sucks!  You were just here!  You were fine!  Why does it have to be this way?!"

Michael was in tears, and Sam tried his best to hold back.

"She's gonna have a baby.. a baby, you guys!" James looks at his brother's.

"How is she gonna do it without dad?"

"She's strong, James." Sam says.

"I know that, but he was always there to support her.. he made her feel relaxed.
What about when the baby comes?  We say we'll tell him about dad, but he'll never know how good he actually was.  How we had the most incredible man as a father... He'll never have one of his hugs.." James' voice shakes and he drops his head down.

Sam sighs and walks off.

"Sam!" Michael calls.

"Just give him some time, Mikey.  He needs to take a little walk."

Sam walked around the cemetery and let his feelings out.  This was the hardest thing they've ever been through.  They never thought there would be happiness again.

***

"It was tough.. it was really tough.  The first few months after he passed, I didn't think I'd be able to continue living without him.  Then Grayson came and I had this whole new person to take care of.  Then things got rough.. really rough.  Then they got a little better... Then I met you."

Jessica smiles softly at Danny.

"And then things got really great again." She speaks in a low and shaky voice.
I will never ever stop loving Sam, and I will always think of him as my husband.. but I have you now.. I'm with you, and you make me so happy.  I never thought I'd be this happy again.  I didn't think I should be this happy.. but now I know that it's okay and that I deserve this happiness."

"You do, Jessica. You deserve to be happy."

She smiles softly and walks over to sit with him.

"I love you." Jessica says cuddling into his chest as he wraps his arms around her.

"I love you too."

"Thank you for showing me that it's okay to be happy after a big dark storm."

"Awe, of course you deserve to be happy!
Hey! I'm like your rainbow!"

"Yes you are!" Jessica laughs.

***

April 15th.

"Jess!"

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized this, but the day we found that church you liked, was the day we first met one year ago!"

"Awe!" Jessica smiles.

"I remember turning around and seeing you... Oh gosh, you're so gorgeous. I wanted to just go right out and ask you on a date! Instead I waited four agonizing weeks! That's a whole month!"

"Awe, poor baby!"

"And then you turned me down." Danny pouts.

"Hey I called you back, Daniel!" Jessica laughs.

"Yeah.. Jess, I was heartbroken.  I understood that you needed time, but.. Man!  I wanted you so bad.  Not just for sex.. I wanted you to be mine.  I had never felt that way about anyone before.  Not even Camille.  I saw you Jessica, and instantly fell in love.  I literally felt like I turned to goo."

"Awe baby, that's so sweet!" She wraps her arms around him.

"You love me." He smiles and places his hands on her back.

"Yes I do!" Jessica says in a cute voice as she goes up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

***

Jessica's Birthday.

Danny heard Grayson, so he went to get him so that Jessica could sleep in a little longer.

"It's mommy's birthday, Grayson!"

"Yay!"

"Yeah!  Wanna help me make her some breakfast?"

"Yeah!  EGGS!!"

"You and your eggs, boy!" Danny chuckles.

**

As Jessica walks downstairs in her robe she hears music playing and Danny and Grayson moving around.  She peaks into the kitchen, then hides so she can watch them.

Danny was singing and dancing while cooking, as Grayson danced around him in a tshirt and diaper while holding two wooden spoons in his hands.

She chuckled to herself and continued watching.

"Watch me dance, daddy!"

"Oh Gray!  You stole my moves, buddy!"

"Yeah, I so good!" He says bobbing his head and bouncing up and down.

"Yes you are!" He chuckles.

Jessica slowly walks in and smiles.

Danny still has not noticed.

"Hey!" Grayson points to Jessica.

Jessica smiles big and Grayson drops his spoons and runs over.

"Happy Birthday, Mommy!"

"Oh thank you, sweet boy!" She picks him up and gives him kisses.

"Happy Birthday, beautiful." Danny walks over and places his hand on her back, then gives her a kiss.

"Thank you, babe!"

"Your breakfast is just about ready!  Have a seat, my birthday Princess!"

"Look at you being all cute and cheesy!" Jessica giggles and takes a seat.

A few minutes later, the boys come down.

"Happy Birthday, Jessie!" Zachary hugs her and she kisses his cheek.

"Thank you, baby!"

"Happy Birthday, Mom!" Michael kisses her and gives her a tight squeeze.

"Thank you!" Jessica giggles.

"So what do you guys have planned?" Zachary asks.

"Well since danny and I have the day off, while you guys are at school, we're going to do some finalizing on the wedding, and hopefully have a date by the end of the day!"

"Ooh, That's exciting!"

"I know!!" Jessica bounces with excitement in her seat.

Danny smiles and reaches over to put his hand on top of hers.

Zachary smiles, then asks, "Are we going out to eat tonight?"

"Of course!  We're taking Jessica to Perry's!"

"Oh Danny, that place is expensive!  You don't have to do that!"

"I want to take my gorgeous fiancé out for a nice birthday dinner."

"Well when you say it like that, how can I say no?" Jessica giggles.

Danny smiles and reaches over to kiss her lips.

**

"Mom, uncle George is taking me driving tomorrow.  I'm getting a lot better!"

"Good, baby, I'm glad!  I'm proud of you!"

"Thanks!  So I should be expecting a car for my birthday, right?" Michael smirks at Jessica and Danny.

"Michael, this is my day!  Now eat your breakfast!" Jessica says making them laugh.

***

"Done!
We're done?  That's it?!  We just booked our wedding?" Jessica giggles.

"June 16th." Danny smiles and wraps his arms around her.

"June 16th!  Oh it sounds so magical!" Jessica bounces up and down.

"You are so cute!" Danny chuckles.

***

Later that day Jessica talked to the boys on FaceTime.

"Are you having a good birthday, mom?" Sam asks.

"The best!
Hey!  What are you guys doing on June 16th?"

"Nothing that I know of, why?" James says.

"How about going to a wedding?" She smiles.

"A wedding?  Who's getting married?!"

"Me!" She laughs.

"Oh!!  You guys picked a date?"

"Yes!  Boys, I'm so happy right now."

"Well that's good, mom.  We're glad." Sam smiles.

"Thank you.  Now enough about me, how are my babies?  Are you eating right?"

"Yes mom." They both chuckle.

***

That evening at dinner.

"Oh this was delicious!  Thank you so much, honey."

"You're welcome, Princess!"

Jessica smiles and Danny says, "Present time!"

"Awe, Daniel!"

"I know you said you didn't want anything, but you and I will be married soon and-"

"In fifty seven days." Jessica nods.

"Heh!  In fifty seven days.. and you and I have not ever really been alone.  That's why I have booked us a trip to New York!"

"What?!  Awe Danny!" Jessica smiles big.

"I've never been to New York before!"

"Me either, it's gonna be so much fun!"

"Awe!  YOU!" Jessica hugs him tight.

Danny chuckles and hugs her back.

"I bought us tickets to a show, we're going on a boat tour!  I have all kinds of fun stuff planned for us to do!"

"Oh my gosh, this is so exciting!!"

"I know!  We leave in a week, I've made arrangements with the boys, and at work.  I've even talked to George, so you don't have to worry about that.  Everything's set!"

"Wow!  Well okay!" She giggles.

"Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome!  I'm just excited to be there with my favorite girl."

"Awe!"

"I'm glad you two are getting some time alone, all I ask is that you guys Please do not being home a baby!" Michael says in a serious tone.

"Hah!  Alright, son." Jessica laughs.

***
I'm sorry I've been so horrible lately!  I'm really trying to update as much as I can, it's just a little crazy right now.

Hope you guys are likening this!  I have a lot planned, so I'm excited! 😁💖