"Oh my gosh, this place is amazing!"

"I know!"

"Why have you never brought me here?"

"I don't know! Little guy like it?" Jane looks at her little sister's protruding belly.

"Mhm! He wants to see the dessert menu!" Jessica giggles.

"Hah! No problem! Whatever Grayson wants, Grayson shall have!"

"Awe, thanks!"

"No problem."

They bring Jessica a dessert menu, and she orders a huge piece of chocolate cake.

"Ugh! This is amazing! You know what, fuck you for feeding me and making me bloated before taking my picture!" She says with a mouth full of food.

Jane laughs and Jessica continues stuffing her face.

"Grayson likes it too. Boy, you better calm down in there!" Jessica looks down at her bump.

"Haha! Awe, he likes chocolate! He's on a sugar high!" Jane laughs.

Jessica chuckles and lightly runs her fingers on her stomach while she looks down at the table.

"His daddy loved chocolate, too..."

Jane's smile fades and she stays silent.

"It's so different, Jane.

I try so so hard to be happy for the boys and for the sake of the baby, but... It's just not the same.

I love my baby so so much already, and there's nothing that's gonna change that! I just find it extremely difficult being happy. I feel guilty... I feel so guilty!"

"Why?"

"Because I get to live here with our boys, and Sam doesn't."

"Jessica-"

"I know that's silly! But Jesus Christ! Ugh.. I feel that way about everything! I feel guilty for living! He was such a great man, he didn't deserve this! Sometimes, I wish... I wish that it was me instead of him--"

"Jessica! Don't say that! Sam did not deserve this, none of you deserved this! But you Do deserve to be here!"

Jessica wipes her cheek and nods her head.

"His birthday is in a month..."

"I know.."

"Last year Sam and I took that trip to Vegas.. He said, he wanted to make it a yearly thing, and I-" Jessica breaks down in tears.

"I just keep thinking of that! And now this baby! This was supposed to be such a great birthday!

All of our boys in high school and another little one on the way.. I just miss him so much and it's getting harder and harder the closer it comes for this baby to arrive.

He was supposed to be here! How do I do this?"

"Jess, we're here for you."

"I know...

I know I repeat myself a lot, but I just can't help it! I feel like I'm going insane! Jane, I can't do it.. I can't live without him!"

"Jess... Jessie, I know it's hard.

I don't know how you do it.. I don't even know what to say, because I don't know how you feel.. But I love you and I am always always here for you!"

"Thanks." She sniffles.

"Aw sweetie, come here!" Jane sits beside her and holds her in her arms.

Jessica lays on her chest and cries.

"When the boys were born, everything was set for months. Sam put everything together.. Sometimes the wrong way, but he did it! I haven't done anything to Grayson's room, and he's almost here!"

"Honey, George and the boys said they would do it for you, don't worry about that."

"Jane, I don't have anything for him! I've shopped some, but it makes me too sad... Which makes me feel even worse. It's not his fault and I shouldn't be that way."

"It's understandable, Jess."

"This baby doesn't deserve a mother that's constantly upset.

What if my sadness affects him, Jane?"

"I.. Sweetie, I'm sure he'll be okay.

He has the best angel in heaven looking out for him.

His daddy is gonna make sure everything's okay!"

"Yeah... That does make me feel better..

Thank you, Jane."

"No problem, sweet heart."

Jessica stays there for a while, and rests her eyes.

You're fine, Jessica.

Sam is still with you. Now get up and go have some fun with your sister... You deserve it.

"Jane, let's get out of here!" Jessica wipes her tears.

Jane smiles and Jessica continues, "Let's go shopping and make me look nice!" She smiles.

"Yeah? You ready?"

"Yeah! Let's do it!"

***

"Jessica! You'd look beautiful in this! I'm definitely buying this!"

"What are you wanting to do?"

"I just wanna get some shots of you and this cute belly! This pregnancy is such a blessing, and I want to capture you exactly like this." Jane rest her hand on her stomach, and Jessica smiles.

Next, Jane took Jessica to get her hair and makeup done.

Jessica sat back in the chair, with her hands on her stomach.

"He is getting so big!" Jane smiles.

"I know! I always have such big babies!"

"You do! But oh God are they cute!"

"They are pretty cute, aren't they?" Jessica smiles and scrunches her nose.

"Yes they are!"

"I wonder who he's gonna look like!  I hope he looks like my Sammy!"

"I'm sure he will, Jess." Jane smiles softly.

***

Jane brought Jessica out to a field for the photoshoot.

"Oh Jessica, you look beautiful!" She says looking at the picture on her camera.

"Really? I don't look too fat?"

"No! You're so gorgeous, sis."

"Awe, thank you." She smiles softly.

"Look at this! You are hot!!"

Jessica looks at the picture and smiles.

"Ooh! I do look a little spicy!" She wiggles her butt.

"Haha! Yes you do!"

Jane starts taking more pictures and Jessica holds her belly and rests her eyes shut.

Sam never ever leaves her mind. Sometimes it's a good thing, and sometimes she just hates it.

Right now she was okay.

She felt his presence with her and for a moment, she felt okay.

It was like she could feel Sam wrap his arms around her and hear him whisper, It's all gonna be okay.

Jessica looked up to the sky and smiled.

"I love you, Sam."

***

Once the were finished, Jane has Jessica change into a blue dress.

"Where are we going?"

"I wanna take a picture of you in your garden."

"Why?"

"Because it's pretty!"

"Okay!" She laughs.

They get to the house and Jessica opens the door.

"SURPRISE!!" Everyone yells.

Jessica jumps and her eyes widen.

"Ah! Oh my gosh!!"

"Haha! We surprised you!" Jane jumps up and down while poking Jessica's stomach.

"Heh! You guyyyys! You're gonna make me cry!" Jessica tears up.

"We love ya, sis." George hugs her.

"I love you guys too!"

Sam's mother walks over to her and smiles with watery eyes.

"Hello, beautiful!"

"Hello, Jane! Thank you for coming!"

"Sweetie, I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Look at you!" She holds her stomach.

"Wow.. I still can't believe this... He's coming so soon!"

"I know.." Jessica nods and smiles.

"I love you, sugar."

"I love you too."

Jane takes a deep breath and hugs her tight.

Everyone tried to make this as fun as possible for Jessica.

"Mom, there's gonna be a beer chugging game using baby bottles, can I play?"

"No you may not, Samuel!"

"Worth a shot!" He shrugs.

"Mrs. Shepard, you look so beautiful!" James' girlfriend walks up to her.

"Aw, thank you, sweetie! 

And thank you for coming!"

"Oh no problem!  I'm so happy to be here!  I can't wait to meet little Grayson!"

Jessica smiles and James holds Caroline's hand.

"Isn't she great?"

"Yes she is, son." Jessica chuckles.

"Boy's, get with your mama for a picture!" Sarah grabs her camera.

"My big boys!" Jessica smiles as they walk over to her.

"Damn, it's hard to believe you're their mom!  This looks like a sibling picture!" Sarah says.

"Well thanks!" Jessica giggles.

"Boys, kiss your brother!"

The boys look at each other and laugh.

"Not each other!  The belly!  Kiss the belly, dammit!"

Jessica laughs and they boys do what Sarah asked.

"Aw that's cute!  This has to go in his room!"

The boys stand up and look at Jessica.

She smiles and opens her arms for a hug.

"I love you boys so much."

"We love you too, mom."

Jessica takes a deep breath and clears her throat.

"Well..  Who's ready for cake?  I know we are!" She grabs the sides of her stomach and walks over to the cake table.

After cake, the boys say with Jessica as she opened the presents.

"You guys, I really appreciate all of this!  This helps me out so much..." She smiles and fans her face.

"I don't wanna cry, but I just wanted to say thank you!"

The whole room smiles back at her.  Her house was filled with Sam's work friends, the boys friends, Jessica's friends, and their whole family.  Everyone was there to celebrate baby Grayson.

Sarah handed Jessica one last small gift.

"Sarah, this is too much!  You didn't have to!"

"I want to." She smiles.

Jessica opens it and freezes for a moment.

It was a small onesie that said, Hand picked for earth by my Daddy in heaven.

Jessica's eyes water and her lips quiver.

"Oh.... This is so sweet."

She puts the onesie down and covers her face with her hands.

The boys comfort her, and start to cry a little as well.

Sarah wipes her face and walks over and kneels down in front of her.

"I love you, Jess... You're my best friend and I'm here for you, always!  You know that!

This baby was picked by Sam.. He saw this beautiful little boy and thought he would be perfect for your little family.  Sam would want you to be happy.. For all of you to be happy!" She looks at the boys.

"So do that.  I know it's hard, I can't even imagine.. But just think how in a couple months you get to meet this little person that you and Sam created together."

Jessica has tears pouring down her face.

She leans forward and hugs Sarah tight.

"Thank you, Sarah.

I love it so much...

And it's true... He did pick him.. For us..

I can't wait to meet the little man my Sammy gave me." She smiles.