AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I transformed into a kitten again and, just so you know, I've been writing this author's note with my paws. It's so freaking difficult to type with paws.  Share your thoughts lovelies!!!!rjvhnkksshmokewipkgsjjdyhssfjfsfg

❤️
Dntesdatkdassfhgdaaruolm

Chapter 19.5: Rotten Beast

My legs were numb after sitting on the library floor for so long with Nava. It was ten minutes before noon and I hurried towards my next destination. Nava puzzled me. She was too intelligent to be naive, but so honest it seemed as if she didn't understand the value of information. It was like she hated keeping secrets.

It had made my work easy, but I fretted that I had missed something, that I was walking right into a trap.

I had worn wide sleeves, so that when I raised my arm, they slipped down, revealing the bruises I had painted on them this morning. Nava would have also seen the marks along my neck, and the extra redness on my cheek that looked as if I attempted to camouflage it with powder.

I hoped she thought that I had taken quite the beating.

"If I'm honest, I can hardly remember why Waryn hates me," I told her, when I knew she would listen. "I recall us playing together, but I was told he was a prisoner, so I felt superior to him. I was very young."

Perhaps I made a mistake, phrasing it that way, because something in Nava's face darkened. "You want to tell me that you don't remember pushing his arm into the candle? Or setting the hounds on him?"

"How could I have? I was too young to do such things."

"You put dead rats in his bed and broken glass in his shoes. You prevented him every letter from home and told him that his family abandoned him, that he would die soon in Desmelas. Twice, you stole documents from your father's study and hid them under Waryn's bed and they beat him for it every time. Oh, and there was that time, just before he was meant to leave, he tried to hit you. Then, the next day, he was thrown into a filthy, cold cellar for three weeks. You came to gloat every single day."

"Is that what he says happened?"

"Oh, he believes it."

"But you don't?"

Nava wasn't sure she trusted me. I could tell by the way she avoided looking at me. "Like you said, you were barely seven. I know children of that age. They can be fiends, but such actions would frighten them. Something doesn't add up. You were the face, but who was standing behind you?"

I had to hazard a guess—it was easy. One answer would take the blame off Dylana. "My father."

***

"You're late," Afali hissed when I rushed through the wide passage that led to the sun hall, followed by three servants. I was only a short way from the corridor that connected to the guest rooms. It was another bright autumn day, and the sun hall occupied the third story of the central hub. It had three open passageways leading towards it, and sound travelled well to each one. It was not a good place to have a secret conversation, but Afali and I were here to stage a play.

"No," I said, as the clock indicated that it was one thirty. "You're early."

"Don't talk back," she said.

"Or what? You'll have me beaten again?"

"This is not the place for such discussions."

I put my hand on my hip. "Why not, Afali? Worried about how you'll look in Waryn's eyes? Don't be. Look at you. Do you honestly believe a man like Waryn would bother?" I laughed at how red Afali's face was becoming. "You're a filthy piglet, and even your own father wishes to replace you now that he has Lady Golia and a son."

She flew at me. I was not ready for her. I fell to the floor with her nails imbedded in the skin behind my ears. Was she trying to tear off my face? She wasn't meant to hurt me so much. We were just pretending. "You rotten beast!" she screamed. "Take back those words."

"You're so fat," I croaked. "I can't erase the truth."

She pulled herself off of me, shaking with rage as she straightening her dress and mask. "I'll make you regret this," she said.

I sat up, and laughed. From having the wind knocked out of me, my laughter sounded like a cackle. "There's nothing more you can take from me, Afali. I've got nothing to lose. You, however, will be a laughing stock at the Masquerade. Shame I'll have to miss that when Lady Golia sends me home."

"Not if I'll have my say."

"Do you actually want me there with you?"

"It will be worth it, to see you humiliated before all the lords and ladies of the north. They're just waiting to tear you down." She turned on her heel. "I've changed my mind, I'll be dining with father alone. You go to your room and do not come out before the banquet."

"As you wish, m'lady," I said, pretending to curtsy from my place on the floor.

Afali left, and I refused the servants' aid to get back to my feet. I did take the offered handkerchief, and dabbed at the droplets of blood on my neck from where Afali's nails had parted my skin. Did she really have to scratch me so hard? Perhaps I went too far with my insults. I think my words ran too deep.

I whirled around at the sound of footsteps behind me. Afali had known that Lord Waryn would be nearby and hear the commotion. I was giving him only the tip of the rope. If he thought that wooing Afali would go against what I wanted, he would go for it. My lips parted when I saw him. He wore the same dark clothes, and boring mask as the day before. But he wasn't the kind of person who needed decorations to steal one's attention away. His eyes burned blue and clear, like sapphires, and he carried himself with the grace of someone who owned the floor he walked on. As simple as his mask was, I would've created a mask for him with even smoother lines to contradict the sharp angles of his cheeks, and I would've used his natural hair as the lion's mane.

"Come to gloat?" I said acidly, hiding the bloodied handkerchief behind my back.

He crossed his arms and regarded me. "What's your game?"

I laughed, sounding in my ears more and more like I've lost my mind. "My game? What's yours?"

"First you go to Nava, pretending like you remember nothing, then this show with Afali, what're you trying to do, Dylana?"

"I would think it were obvious," I said, matching my glare to his, trying to look unfazed when, in fact, this was not going as planned. "Do you want to tell me you don't have it all figured out? Such a clever man like yourself?"

"I have pieces of the picture, perhaps you would be willing to fill in the holes."

"You've grown to be a man like every man, with delusions of power," I said. "Why in the gods name should I make anything easier for you?"

His mouth curved into a smirk. "Oh, but I believe the questions I have are not the ones you expect me to ask."

"You presume to—"

"You would try to trick me. Afali wishes me to approach her, as a suitor, obviously. Why do you think I was forced to come here? By her cousin, no less. She thought you would help her, as my childhood friend? You didn't tell her the truth about who you were and what you did to me. Now you paint yourself as a victim, and her as your abuser. You would have me believe that foiling Afali's plans would be to your best interest, and as your enemy, I would do my utmost to prevent that."

The room around me shrunk and expended as I stood naked of my lies before this lord. My face was numb.

"I know for a fact," he continued. "That Afali eats out of your hand." He took a step towards me.

Where did I go wrong? Nava. She was the mistake. I had approached it all wrong. It wasn't me who was lulling her into a sense of friendship, it was the other way around. But this wasn't mask-making. I could not simply learn from my mistakes and avoid them when making the next mask.

He took a step towards me, then another. I refused to waver, or shiver. I couldn't look away from his face. "I know you," he said softly. "You'll never change. You'll come with me now, to my room, and we will speak of this in private."

I wasn't going to fall for that. He pretended like he knew more than he did. I wouldn't let him have whatever he needed. "You can't make me," I said.

"Oh, I don't have to. You'll come with me willingly..." He leaned in, his lips hovering over my ear when he whispered, "Isn't that right, Abetha?"