Chapter Eleven: Events

   That night Delrand came to my room. He said he wouldn’t leave me at night, unless I asked him not to be there. He waited in the bedroom while I bathed in my washroom. I came out feeling better than I had in days. Too much had happened recently; too many bad things that I’ll be remembering for quite a while yet.

  He was leant on the balcony barrier, watching the sunset in the west. I watched him before walking up behind and placing my hands around his body. He jumped slightly but then placed his hands on me; one around my shoulders, the other on my opposing elbow. I leant my head on his shoulder and breathed deeply while taking in the scene outside. I missed this view; it was a calming scene that I have always loved ever since I could remember.

   ‘Elara, I...’ He began, but before he could say anymore I pressed my fingers against his lips; it was perfect enough without him spoiling it, by saying something.

   I looked him in the eyes; they were that apple green that gave away his intentions. He bowed his head slightly to look at me better (I was a head shorter than him). His hair fell into his face. I brushed it aside smoothly and continued down his temple, down his neck and towards his heart, my eyes following my hand. My palm rested on his chest.

   I felt his hand under my chin; he gently forced my head up. When he could see my eyes again he leant down, as he always had to, and pressed his lips onto mine. I closed my eyes and let him take control for once. It didn’t last long; though he kept his head close to mine. His hand was now on my cheek, his thumb brushed the underneath of my eyelid.

   Come with me, he whispered in my mind.

   I closed my eyes and felt him transport us somewhere else; where we were now was a mystery. It was colder than in my bedroom. I opened my left eye only to see blackness; I opened the other eye and waited for them both to adjust.

   Delrand was still holding me. Eventually the darkness fell away and I noticed that he had brought me into the forest. I couldn’t hear water, so it wasn’t near the lake. We were in a clearing, though it wasn’t very large.

   ‘And how’s this meant to be a favourite place?’

   ‘I like the outdoors, and this is the nearest covered place to your home. See, I wasn’t going to take you too far away.’

   ‘And what are we going to actually do here?’ I asked him almost temptingly.

   ‘Nothing like that, if that’s what you were thinking. I just brought you here because there’s no way we will be disturbed. Now...’ he left me hanging on his last word. A fire suddenly crackled nearby.

   ‘Come on then,’ I said smiling at his slightly teasing manner.

   ‘Come on what?’

   ‘Sit down with me. We need the warmth.’ And I held both his hands in mine and pulled him as I walked backwards towards the fire. I sat down near the flames. He sat down beside me. We put one arm behind each other’s back. I looked up and into his eyes; I couldn’t work out their colour in the flickering light.

   ‘Delrand,’ I said breathlessly.

   ‘Elara.’

   And he kissed me again, only this time with more enthusiasm. Both his arms wrapped around my waist and my hands rose up around his neck. After a little moment, he began to move his hands over my back. In return, I entangled my fingers in his hair but so I wouldn’t discomfort him. He mustn’t have liked that because he took my hand and entwined his fingers between mine, all without breaking the spell he had unintentionally put on me.

   A desire rose within me to push him onto his back and lean across his body, while still kissing his perfect lips. To me, everything about him was perfect; the way he was around me and the way he showed me his feelings just made me flutter and tingle inside.

   I held my ground; I knew he would take it the wrong way if I forced him into something intimidating (as he might put it anyway). I also knew that I needed to let him make any moves that would take us past the kissing stage (hopefully not too soon).

   Suddenly, his hand reached up to the back of my head and began to lean me backwards. This was too much for me; and then I realised how wrong I was about letting him make the next move. My eyes burst open and I pulled away. My mouth began to tremble as I didn’t know what to think of it. He leant closer again but he had done enough already. I bit my lower lip and turned my head away; I stared at the fire.

   ‘Would it help if I said sorry?’

   I remained quiet just in case I said something wrong. Now I had someone to watch over me and protect me, as I knew that’s what he will do all the time I belonged to him, my feminine side began to grow out from the drawer I had locked it in all my life. There was no need for me to be so masculine as I was around the knights; though I didn’t want to give up that part of me either. There must be a limit to whether or not both sides of me can exist at the same time.

   ‘Elara, please I didn’t mean to intimidate you.’ He curled his legs into his chest and held them there with his hands. I was right on one thing about him, the words that he would use in different situations. ‘Sorry is all I can say without making it up to you with a kiss.’

   I couldn’t not look at him for any longer. I sighed heavily and faced him but kept my eyes from meeting his. ‘I forgive you, just don’t do it again so suddenly next time.’

   ‘Will there be a next time?’

   Placing my hand gently on his shoulder, I smiled thinly. ‘There’ll always be a next time between us.’

   He was still sat very close to me, at least he hadn’t moved away. I wish I could share with him exactly how I felt about him. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, to share every moment with him that I could. The question was did he feel the same way? I felt the urge to ask him, so I did. ‘Delrand, this may seem ridiculous to ask but do you love me?’

   ‘Of course I do. I’ve loved you from the day we first met. Almost love at first sight. There wasn’t a moment that I didn’t want to hold you in my arms.’

   ‘I wish I could say the same thing. How much?’

   ‘That I can’t reveal to you until we get past a certain stage.’ I knew what he was hinting at.

   ‘You mean until we get married?’ I couldn’t believe we were talking about marriage, it seemed so far away.

   ‘If we get married.’ He stared at the flames.

   ‘What do you mean if?’

   ‘Well, I need to ask him before you.’

   ‘Oh, I get it.’ I giggled at him; of course. ‘You mean you won’t ask me without my father’s permission first.’

   ‘Exactly, I want to really mean it when I ask you. Don’t laugh, Elara, I’m serious. I’ve waited for a long time for you and I don’t want to lose you because of some silly mistake I’ve made.’ He looked me in the eyes, but not as softly as he usually did.

   ‘Sorry, but it is funny from my point of view. You see, I knew it would be like this from the start, when I found the right person. I just didn’t know I actually wanted it traditional as well, until now.’

   ‘I don’t think you know how strict I’ll be about it all. To be perfectly honest with you, I just broke one of my personal rules about it just now.’

   ‘Which one was that?’

   ‘The one where I don’t try to, um...’ He broke off. ‘Where...’ He tried again. He looked at me a little embarrassed and then resumed staring at the fire.

   ‘You don’t need to say it; I know which one you mean. Wait, didn’t you break that one ages ago?’ I was referring to the window seat incident.

   ‘No, because nothing happened.’

   ‘We kissed,’ I prompted.

   ‘And how long had we been kissing before that happened?’

   ‘But it was still something.’

   ‘That doesn’t count.’ He still didn’t look as if he had really got over what he just did. I knelt up and placed my hands on his. He sighed deeply, legs falling flat along the ground beside me. He lifted my hands up and kissed them both on the back. He looked longingly into my eyes; he hadn’t done it like that before. I smiled at him.

   ‘See, nothing’s changed, has it? You love me, that’s all that matters here.’

   ‘Tell me then, do you love me?’ he asked me back.

   ‘Every day.’

   ‘Since when?’

   ‘Since ... since the first day I transformed into a wolf,’ I mumbled so he could just hear me.

   ‘I guessed as much.’

   ‘How?’ I asked in slight shock, he was better at body language than I first assumed.

   ‘Well, you wouldn’t have stormed off if you didn’t.’ A minute passed of us staring at each other in an aura of admiration. ‘I’d best take you back now.’

   ‘But ... we haven’t been here long.’

   ‘I can’t risk us falling asleep here and you’re not back in the castle by sun-up.’ I rolled my eyes at him. He stood up swiftly, bent down, grabbed my hands and pulled me up into his warming embrace. I closed my eyes for him to take us back into my room.

   We appeared on the balcony.

   ‘Stay with me,’ I said as soon as we landed on the stone floor.

   ‘I can’t tonight; Merlin needs me to help him with recruitments.’

   ‘Do you have to go?’

   ‘Yes, if it wasn’t important I would gladly stay. Tell you what; I’ll give you one last kiss. What do you say?’

   ‘Go on then.’

   Our lips met and he lifted me off my feet, literally. His grip held me tight against his body so I could be on the same level as he was; height-wise. He dropped me down lightly back onto the floor.

   ‘Don’t go,’ I tried one last time to keep him there in my arms.

   ‘I have to.’ I quickly kissed him on the cheek and turned away so I didn’t have to see him vanish.

   I walked over to my bed and dropped backwards onto the sheets. I lay there and my eyelids were weighed down with sleep. This was probably the fifth time I had slept in my day clothes since I met Delrand.

   I had a dreamless night for a change. I had had enough of all these visions that I knew were trying to get something across to me. I never paid attention to them; I pushed them to the back of my mind, never to be dwelled upon again.

   I was woken up early next morning by the sound of bird song outside. I opened my eyes and looked around, Delrand hadn’t returned; however, a nightingale was perched on the balcony singing away the most beautiful tune I had ever heard.

   ‘Delrand, is that you?’ I asked aloud, unsure.

   Who else? he said and the nightingale chirped a few last notes before flying onto the bed. A second or two later Delrand had taken its place. He knelt on the covers and smiled warmly at me. I sat up instantly.

   One other thing about Delrand was that you didn’t know what to expect next. I certainly wasn’t expecting a morning kiss and a lift up off the covers. He spun me around a couple of fast times before clasping me around the waist; this seemed to be where his hands belonged on me, they always seemed to be there when we were this close.

   ‘You seem happy this morning,’ I pointed out.

   ‘I missed you last night; I couldn’t stop thinking of your face.’

   ‘I missed you too. Let me get changed and you can come downstairs with me to breakfast.’

   ‘I’ll gladly wait for you,’ he said sweetly. It occurred to me that he may be making up for his mistake last night. I changed into another set of knight-attire; I owned many clothes under this style, possibly more than I had dresses.

   ‘Do you ever where dresses?’

   ‘If you don’t know me by now, Delrand, then you should know I’m not that type of girl.’

   ‘I had noticed.’ He took my hand and walked beside me all the way to the door that led into the Circular Hall. ‘Would it be odd if I came in with you?’

   ‘I think it would.’

   ‘See you later.’ What he meant by later I couldn’t be sure of; only that he definitely meant later today.

   I walked into the room alone and took my seat next to Tristan, as I had done (almost) every day since a young age. I buttered a couple slices of toast. The table was occupied more at this time of year. It occupied all the competitors. I decided to keep a low profile this morning, in case they thought I was inviting them for a conversation. I couldn’t afford for one of them to think I was interested in them in anyway. Unfortunately, I wasn’t going to expect an unquestioned morning.

   ‘Who do you favour for winning this year, your highness?’ asked Sir Coban, from opposite the table.

   I quickly looked sideways at Tristan for some support; he made contact with me by looking at me sideways too. At least I knew he was there for me. ‘I cannot say. It could be any of you.’

   ‘Surely you can name one of us?’

   ‘I can’t make a decision without first duelling you all for a comparison,’ I stated.

   ‘That makes it fairer on all of us, then.’

   ‘There will be more of a chance of one of my knights to win it off you this year, Coban.’

   ‘Your knights. Elara, I didn’t know you cared,’ Gawain teased from nearby.

   ‘Don’t push your luck, Gawain,’ I said threateningly while waving my butter knife in the air. ‘I only said it to make it easier for everyone else to know who I was talking about.’

   ‘Mmm.’ I knew he didn’t believe me, but that didn’t matter right now.

   ‘And how is it that you know it will be one of them who will win?’ spoke another knight, Sir Raphael from Spain.

   ‘Because it is their home country, and most of the spectators present will be Albion.’

   ‘Very true, Elara,’ my father spoke from behind me. The knights all stood up in respect.

   ‘Father.’ He wore the same clothes he wore on my arrival back at Camelot. He sat down in the empty chair next to me.

   ‘You had all better be ready by eleven. Things may be a little different this year, but most things have stayed the same. Such as the opening.’ At that I looked at all the knights in turn. Out of all of them mine looked the most dignified; as it was with it being their king that was speaking.

   Breakfast soon finished and the knights all departed to prepare for the tournament.

*****

   The stands were full inside the arena. There was much cheering from the waiting fans; all the different banners and standards flew in the slight breeze. I took my normally unoccupied seat on the raised ground balcony, which looked over the jousting field.

   ‘Hello.’ He made me jump and turn around in my seat. He was bent down so I didn’t have to look up at him so much.

   ‘Hello,’ I said back. ‘Where did you go at breakfast?’

   ‘The stables. I wanted to see what kind of horses they all rode.’

   ‘You didn’t do anything to them?’

   ‘I never interfere with things that aren’t my business. Anyway, there were all their servants in there, saddling and dressing the horses.’

   ‘Where’s Merlin?’

   ‘Behind your father.’

   ‘Elara,’ said my father.

   ‘Yes,’ I said as I turned back around. I looked at his seat, but he was standing up. I looked out on the field and realised I should be standing as well.

   The knights had begun to ride out in formation to line up along the jousting barrier in the centre. Their standards were held on long staffs by servants and their heralds stood beside their horses’ heads. I remembered when I was among them. This was the boring part for me, always had been, I always just wanted to get straight into the jousting. Considering the size of the fortress walls, the arena claimed just under a quarter of the grounds held inside.

   I stood up and started clapping while looking out for my fellow ‘brethren’; it didn’t take long as I knew straight off what each off their banners looked like. Tristan and I had similar ones as we were blood-relatives, though they differed in the crest colours of the helmet and which bird that occupied the centre (phoenix and raven). Lancelot’s background was red, a white stag at its centre. Gawain’s was green with a lion. Galahad’s was purple with an eagle. Dagonet’s was blue with a swan. And finally, Bors’s was yellow with a bear. Another standard stood out clearly from the others; that was Coban’s black one with its orange fox.

   As ever the standards were brought forward and lined up along the walls beside the throne box. A herald stepped from in front of the balcony (he was there as liaison) to speak the words that would welcome all the audience to this event. There were some aristocracy in the stands behind where I now sat.

   ‘My lords and ladies,’ he began loudly. As he shortly continued the cheering subsided. ‘I am proud to welcome you all here today. In this arena is each of your champions.’ And I wished that I were one of them. ‘Most have come from afar to fight in this tournament. Now I must step aside and allow his majesty, King Arthur, to make a short speech.’ He walked back to where he was previously; and stood still as a statue.

   My father stood again. He cleared his throat and proceeded with his very short speech. ‘I thank you, again, for being here today. As is tradition, you may all give a round of applause for these brave knights.’ The crowd cheered again, and then quickly fell silent. ‘Knights, you may begin.’ The knights each bowed in his saddle before riding off to their appointed camps, where they would watch the others or quickly prepare for their joust today. I didn’t understand how the standings worked, but I could see a chink in their manoeuvres easily, even from here.

   It was a gesture of respect to the visiting knights that we (my side) were expected to be in the last few jousts of the days. All together the tournament lasted about six days; depending upon how many knights had turned up. There were more than the usual numbers this year; I had a strong assumption why that was. As two knights, one at either end, appeared in the archways between the stands, and their heralds introduced their masters, Delrand bent down near my ear.

   ‘Elara, since you understand the scoring, can you explain, please?’

   ‘Have you ever been to a jousting event before?’ I asked, stunned.

   ‘Never.’

   ‘At least sit down.’ He magicked a chair next to me. ‘Thanks. It’s one point for breaking a lance on the torso. For breaking it on the helmet you receive two points. And three for unsaddling the opponent.’

   ‘Have you ever been unsaddled?’

   ‘Only once, when I first started. That was the best war horse I have ever had.’

   ‘Had?’

   ‘When...’ I was interrupted by the cheering. Looking at the field, I saw the first pair riding back to their starting ends. I checked the score board (one small, white flag meant one point), both knights had one flag under the small versions of their coats of arms. ‘When a knight is unsaddled, the opponent has the right to declare ownership over the horse; if he so wishes.’

   ‘Have you unsaddled many of them?’

   ‘Yes, but I prefer to let them keep the horses, I have no need of them.’

   As a result of my not taking part, I wasn’t interested in the jousts between knights I didn’t know. When one appeared that I did know, I became more alert and straightened up. The heralds spoke their introductions, and the crowd waited in thrilled silence as the start standard was lifted. The horses galloped forwards. The knights lowered their lances to shoulder height and held them there until impact. Splinters went flying where the lances had hit the opposing rider. The crowd cheered as the count was recorded.

   The day wore on in much the same way. I watched and got more jealous of their enjoyment of being physically involved. Some knights would ride up to the veranda and ask that I would take a token from them. They were usually flowers or silken cloths. It was completely unexpected; I was deeply embarrassed and blushed rather brightly each time it happened. I looked at Delrand after they rode off. He just smirked at my unfortunate predicament.

   It’s what you should have expected of them. How about you make it worth it for them all tomorrow?

   ‘How?’ I asked him aloud.

   ‘Wearing a dress?’ he suggested.

   ‘No way. I am never wearing one of them again; not after the first time.’

   ‘Why not? After all, you do look much easier on the eye when you where one.’

   I scowled subtly. ‘You just want to see my discomfort at their reactions.’

   ‘I don’t, but I haven’t had the pleasure of actually seeing you properly in one.’

   Then you’ll have to wait until our wedding day; that is if we do end up getting married. There was that word again.

   ‘What if I beg you later? Will that persuade you?’

   ‘Depends on how convincing you are.’

   It was about time for the first of our knights to joust. And I was right. It was Tristan first; he was stationed to my left. His opponent was a very muscular knight from Spain. This didn’t make any difference against Tristan; he was very tactful when it came to jousting. Even when the flag rose he would keep his ground and wait for the other to begin the charge.

   I watched him charge in response and knew instantly what he would do next. Tristan wasn’t the best out of us, but he was very good at what he did. His lance hit his opponent on the helmet and the lance cleanly broke. The other lance remained unbroken. I clapped and cheered for him. He waved over as he rode back to his end.

   The first day of the championship ended in an unexpected downpour. Not all the pairs had jousted. Unfortunately for me, one of those pairs was Coban and Lancelot; along with all the other knights from my team. Delrand walked back with me. He didn’t like it that I wasn’t covered, though I only knew he didn’t want me to get a cold. He really was being too protective of me, surely my health didn’t matter to him that much.

   That night he came to my room but not alone. Merlin had news to relay back to us about recruitments and what they had learnt of Mordred. I still didn’t know exactly how powerful he was, I hadn’t even met him face-to-face yet. How did they expect me to destroy him if I didn’t know of any weaknesses he had?

   ‘It’s much worse than we thought. He has so many evil servants and soldiers and we have no more allies to gather. It’s not going to turn out like last time if we don’t choose the negotiation option.’

   ‘It won’t work. He won’t listen. He’s arrogant and I won’t let him anywhere near Elara without back up.’

   ‘Delrand, negotiations have always helped in times of war for us. At least give him a chance.’

   ‘It won’t work.’ I noticed that Delrand was being stubborn. ‘We tried it last time, he had nothing to say. I doubt it will work this time.’

   ‘You do know it is her he’s after?’ said Merlin and his eyes flickered to me quickly.

   ‘Yes, that’s the reason why I won’t choose that option as long as it remains as an option.’

   Annoyed was a little less than what I was feeling. ‘And how am I supposed to defeat him if I don’t find out his personality? I need to get to know him, no matter how brief the meeting; it’ll help in the long term,’ I explained.

   ‘She’s right. I’ll try to relay where we’re meeting.’

   ‘Do I get no say in this whatsoever?’ Delrand protested.

   ‘Even if you did, you’d be outvoted. Most of the others want to try talking. They’ll feel better if they know we’ve at least tried to prevent this.’

   A thought suddenly occurred to me. ‘Wait, the real problem is that I’m not on his side. That’s why he began the feud again. He needs me to truly gain control; but if he fights us now he’ll have the chance to kill off as many of us as possible.’

   ‘No, if you turn to him, he’ll violate any small propositions that we’ve already agreed.’ Delrand wasn’t going to back down. He was too worried about my own welfare.

   ‘Delrand, you don’t need to be beside me every single moment. I can take care of myself. You said it yourself, I am much stronger than he is, I think I can handle him.’

   ‘I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks.’

   ‘It won’t be unnecessary if it helps. Delrand, please? I’ll do anything for you; just do this one thing for me,’ I pleaded, knowing he would finally see that it was worth the risk.

   ‘I see that I can’t persuade you any further to see it’s a bad choice. Fine, I’ll be there.’

   ‘Good. The usual place. I’ll contact you as soon as a date is set. Good night.’ Merlin left us alone and in an uneasy atmosphere.

   Delrand had folded his arms. I knew he’d try to dissuade me any minute. I walked as far away from him into the room. I stopped with my back to him and waited. ‘Elara,’ he said; though he was trying to stay calm without little effort. ‘Why can’t you see that it’s going to turn out wrong?’

   ‘Because it won’t. We’ll both be there. He wouldn’t risk trying to kill us without support. Though I don’t know him, I can figure that out easily.’ I kept my back facing him. ‘Together, he has no chance.’

   ‘He is very deceiving. Who knows how strong he has become since the last battle. If anything happened to you, I don’t think I could forgive myself for not being there when you needed me the most.’

   He had walked over so quietly, I was surprised when his hands wrapped around my waist and locked in front of me. I closed my eyes in concentration, then spoke. ‘You don’t have to talk like that for me to already know. I feel the same way if the same happened to me; if I lost you.’ I spoke the last four words quieter than the words before it.

   He rested his head on my right shoulder and I leant my head against his. I moved my hands onto his and entwined my fingers between his. He slowly kissed my neck and moved up to my jaw. Once he reached my cheek I turned my head so he kissed me on the lips. He didn’t part his lips nor did I. It was a motionless kiss.

   He pulled away. He repositioned his hold on me; one hand on my left hip, the other over my heart. My hands remained their hold on his hand that was on my chest. We kissed again, only with our lips moving in rhythm. He pulled me as close as he could. I knew that my trust for him could never be questioned. As long as he was there I knew nothing would come between our love for each other; nothing and no one. It seemed that every day I fell more and more in love with him.

   Delrand, stop.

   He did so. Why? What’s wrong?

   You still have something to try and make me do, I hinted.

   His eyes moved up in thought. Ah, a dress, he said on remembering. Where’s your wardrobe?

  I smiled and led him over to the closet door. ‘All of this. And I’ve only worn one out of the whole lot,’ I added at his expression.

   ‘One?’ he said, disappointed, as he walked in. ‘How come you have so many?’

   ‘Mother.’

   He stepped inside and scanned over a few. ‘Here we go,’ he said as he picked one out and carried it over. It was dark green and ankle length.

   ‘I prefer this one.’ I walked past him and picked another dress that I had seen some time before.

   ‘It won’t suit your skin and hair.’

   ‘What do you know about matching skin with dress colour?’

   ‘It doesn’t take much to work it out. You’ll thank me after tomorrow if you go with my choice.’

   ‘If it makes you happy.’ His eyes lit up and he smiled. I slowly closed mine and similarly opened them again, then quickly shook my head so my hair swished around behind me. He walked out on me. I followed him and closed the doors behind me while I still faced him. ‘Was that not a good thing?’

   ‘No. It’s not easy for me to control how I feel about you.’ He turned around and faced me. ‘It’s very overwhelming, and...’ He didn’t stop out of embarrassment but because I had pressed my hand over his mouth. He looked taken aback. Clearly he wanted to say something important.

   ‘Sssh.’ He nodded. I pulled my hand away.

   What is it?

   I’m not too sure, but someone’s in here.

   ‘That would be me,’ came a strong, harsh voice from behind me. Delrand’s hands clamped around my waist, holding me still. I looked up into his face. His sight was concentrated on the intruder. He looked furious.